Chapter Two: Bobby's Dolor
'"…and remember I have, and always will love you." signed, your partner, Darien Fawkes.'
Bobby let out a ragged sigh and fought back tears as he read his partner's last written words to him. He was sitting on the grass, next to Darien's headstone, the sun seeping into him.
Darien's funeral had been three days ago, the reading of his will just three hours. Darien had left his books and Darien the Rat to Claire. To Bobby he left his clothes and as he had written, "…anything else you want Bobby." Everything else was to be sent to his Grandmother.
Bobby still couldn't believe he was gone. He still expected the kid to come through the Official's office door with a smart remark about his being late. Darien was his closest friend, confidant and partner. Bobby knew he loved Darien. He loved him, but that love had never transcended into the sexual, he hadn't wanted it to. He was his perfect match, and now he was gone!
God damn it, it wasn't fair! How could Darien be ripped away from him!?! Why!? That stupid kid just had to cover him, those bullets were supposed to have hit him, not Fawkes, and that cocky kid just had to take off his vest. Damn him. Why hadn't Darien listened to him? Darien wasn't supposed to get hurt.
The mission had been simple, so simple, God, how could it have gone so wrong?
Fawkes goes in Saran-Wrap, radios back the guard set-up and then the other agents move in. It was simple. Why the hell had Fawkes hung around? He should have returned to base, but instead that crazy kid got himself shot.
When it happened Bobby didn't know what to think. He heard the gunshots, and felt himself fall, but the cold, heavy weight was unexpected. Once the guard ran off, the quicksilver had flaked off Darien's body. Bobby turned him over, saw the three gun shot wounds in his chest, felt the warm pool of blood collecting around them.
He immediately called for help. He held onto Darien's hand, trying to keep him calm and reassure him, trying to convince himself that it would be ok.
When the medics arrived and pushed him away, Fawkes' strangled words reached his ears, "No, Bobby, stay!"
Bobby, he never called him Bobby, always Hobbes. Bobby clung to his hand. All the way to the hospital, Bobby tried to reassure his partner. Once there, Darien was whisked away by doctors and nurses into the OR.
Bobby had been shown to the surgical waiting room, a nurse said he would check in periodically. Bobby noticed a phone on a table and called the Official, told him what had happened and told him to come down, and bring the Keeper.
Bobby waited restlessly for news on his partner. When the Official and the Keeper arrived he had to give it his all to not brake down. He was an emotional wreck. The man he loved just took three bullets for him, and was now in surgery.
When the nurse came back and told them that Darien didn't make it, his world fell apart. He saw Claire collapse beside him and he followed. He saw the Official make a phone call and leave. He had heard him say something about harvesting. "That damn insensitive bastard!" thought Bobby.
The nurse said they could see Darien if they wanted to. Claire declined, but Bobby agreed.
Standing in the OR, seeing his partner's lifeless body on the table, was almost too much for him. He walked over and picked up his hand. "I love you, Darien, I hope you knew that, my friend."
Those last words were painful to say.
****
Bobby came out of his memories, his eyes focusing on the letter, he was still in the graveyard, at Darien's grave. Seeing the headstone reminded him of the funeral. The whole Agency turned out for it, all dressed in black. Bobby, Claire, even the Official said a few words. After a short service, Darien was laid to rest next to his brother Kevin.
When the crowd had dispersed, Bobby remained. Standing alone at Darien's headstone. That's when the tears he had been holding back came flooding out. He hadn't really cried since it had happened. Sure he had cried at the hospital but that was more from shock than the soul wrenching grief he felt now. He had fallen to his knees on the fresh earth, his tears flowing down his face into the dirt.
Bobby realized he was crying again. He carefully refolded the letter and placed it in his inside coat pocket, next to his heart. He kneeled down again, letting his tears flow once more. He placed his hand on the headstone, next to Darien's name, trying to draw the last possible warmth of the sun that was held by the marble.
Part of him knew Fawkes was gone, but most of him refused to realize it. He still loved Darien, he always would. At least he now knew that Darien had loved him also, and now he prayed that Darien knew that he had loved him as well.
With one last caring gesture Bobby placed a small American flag by the headstone, "For fallen heroes, my friend. Fallen heroes. I love you Darien."