Expecting the Unexpected
Maxwell Smart fixed his tie as he trotted down the stairs from his upstairs bedroom. It was three in the afternoon he just woke up from being on an all night surveillance. 99 sat on the couch knitting when she saw Max come down the stairs.
"Good Morn I mean good afternoon Love"
"Oh hi 99, thanks for keeping the kids quiet while I got some shut eye. You know this surveillance job is throwing my whole sleep pattern off."
"It's only for one more night right?" 99 asked
"Let's hope so. If all goes well tonight, we can raid that KAOS front. The leaders of the counterfeit ring are assembling tonight then we'll have enough evidence to shut down their operation."
Max sat next to 99 and put his mouth next to her stomach. 99 was nine months pregnant with their third child.
"Helloooooo in there," Max said as he talked to her tummy, "This is Maxwell Smart agent 86 of CONTROL speaking." 99 looked at Max and laughed at his formalism. "Gosh 99 these last 9 months have gone by so slowly. It seems when you had the twins it was bang you were pregnant then boom there were the twins"
"It won't be long Max, I am due next week and everything seems to be on track" 99 said casually.
Max shook his head, "Wow, just think we'll now have three little ones", Max stopped and squinted at 99, " You're sure its just one in there? I mean, remember the last time?"
"I'm pretty sure there is only one." 99 smiled
"Cause if there are two" Max said
She leaned in and kissed his cheek, "Just one, promise."
99 continued her knitting.
"Max, I was just wondering well if it would be ok
Could I come with you to that surveillance job tonight?
I haven't seen you for a week and I miss seeing you"
Max shook his head, "I don't know 99 its not safe, what if something happened"
"What could happen? You said Control is going to raid that KAOS front tonight. We'll be safe in the building across the way. You're just going to give the signal and the agents down below will go in and do all the work."
"I guess it would be ok, but will you be comfortable? That hotel room I'm staying at is a dive."
"I won't mind. Come on Max, please?" 99 purred in his ear
"It does get kinda lonely at that. And since the raid isn't happening for a few hours Ok, 99 I don't see the harm.
But if you get uncomfortable, I can't leave and take you home"
99 smiled and touched her huge stomach, "How much more uncomfortable can I get?"
Max and 99 arrive at the back of the old hotel. He let 99 out at the back door while he hid the car around the corner. They walked into the building and headed up to his room that he rented for the week. The manager looked over his newspaper and cleared his throat. Max and 99 continued to the elevator. The manager loudly cleared his throat to make sure Max knew it was to get his attention.
Max stopped and looked over to the manager
"Hey buddy, see that? He pointed to a sign above the desk. "No visitors after 10 PM"
"Well she's not a visitor, she's a ahhh" Max thought quickly, " a business associate."
The manager looked at 99 over his glasses with dubiousness. "Yeah? well I don't allow that kind of "business" in this hotel. I run a respectable place here."
Max dug into his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill,
and placed it in the managers hand. The manager looked at the bill still holding his hand out.
" I mean, what would the other guests think"
Max placed another five dollars in the manager's hand.
"If I allow you, then I have to allow everyone"
Max put one more bill in his hand.
"Party hardy brother." The manger said as he counted out his bills.
When they got to the room 99 was amazed with all the equipment inside. Max had a telescope and listening devices set up to keep an eye out on the building across the way. A few hours went by with no sign of KAOS showing up. Max was bored as he cleaned his gun. 99 was sitting in the recliner knitting when all of a sudden she felt a sharp pain, like someone had kicked her in the groin. The pain was so sharp it took her breath away, but it
gradually dissipated. She'd been having some light contractions off and on for about a week, but the Doctor said that it wasn't real labor unless they came at
regular intervals. Suddenly she felt a tightening in her back that spread all the way across her abdomen. Every muscle in her stomach was tight. It hurt . . a lot !
"MAX! I think I need you" 99 gasped.
Max's full attentions were on the building as he looked through the telescope.
"Hey 99, it looks like its time" Max said as he spotted activity in the building.
"Yes, I think you're right" 99 said cringing from the pain.
Max adjusted the scope to see closer, "Just one more KAOS agent and I'll call in the raid"
99 noticed a warm wet feeling. Looking down, the chair was soaked. When 99 had the twins, her water had to be broken by the Doctor at the hospital, so she wasn't sure exactly what was happening.
"Oh, Max !!!, I think my water broke! What a mess !!"
Max, still distracted by the stake out said, "Oh, 99, don't worry about spilling your water. The maid will clean it up"
Max chuckled as he looked at the shabby room, "Yeah, the maid. That's a good one"
"No, Max, I'm not talking about my drink. It's my water sac that holds the baby. . . it feels like I wet my pants."
"99 !! You shouldn't wait until the last minute to go to the bathroom."
"No, no, Max, the baby must have kicked so hard that it broke the water sac. Oh. I'm having a really strong contraction now . . . ow, ow, oh Max help me!!!"
Max raced over to her, "99 I'm about ready to call in the raid." Max danced from the window to 99 not knowing what to do, "Ohhhhh. This can't be happening right now. I thought you were due next week? Ahhhh Can you try to hold it".
"I don't know if I can." She was losing control and was starting to panic.
"Max," she screamed." Help me !! "
Max tried to think, " Ahhhh, try doing some breathing exercises. You know, in with the good air out with the bad"
"I'm not drowning, I'm having a baby !! DO something!"
"99, try to hold on for a few more minutes. I'm going to call the Chief right now." Max said as he unhooked his shoe phone.
"Hello Chief? Its Max," Max said in a rushed voice
"Yes Max, how is it progressing down there?"
Max looks over to 99 doubled over and breathing hard, "Well to tell you the truth Chief, things are progressing quite rapidly....I'm ready to call the agents in for the baby and 99 is going to have the raid."
"WHAT??" The Chief bellowed.
Max cleared his thoughts, "I mean, I'm ready to call the agents in for the raid and 99 is going to have the baby" As he heard her scream, he added, "Ohhhhh, real soon!"
" 99's there? What's 99 doing there?" The Chief yelled into the phone.
"Well Chief, 99 missed me and she wanted to come out to the stakeout tonight. I told her "99 I don't think it will be safe" but she talked me into."
99 yelled out, "MAX!!"
Max almost dropped his shoe phone, "Chief, I need hellllp."
"Whatever you do don't call 911 or it will blow our cover. If she's as close as you say then you will have to deliver the baby."
Max started to sweat heavily. "What!? But, Chief, I can't. I mean I've never Down there? " Max started to feel weak.
"Max, get a hold of yourself. You've been through this before. I'm going to get the Control Doctor on the line and he will help you through it, step by step. "
Max went over to 99 and held her hand, "99, the Chief said we can't get anyone over here in time so I'm going to help you deliver the baby"
99 was writhing in pain until it sunk in what Max just told her, "What!?" But Max you can't, Why you've never"
"Funny, that was my thought" Max said as he grabbed his stomach.
Max suddenly got a burst of confidence, "I'm going to help you deliver our baby. Trust me I've had tons of experience doing this. Why, I've assisted in delivering hundreds of babies"
"Max I find that hard to believe" 99 said in a short breath.
"Would you believe, two dozen kids?"
"I don't think soooooooo" 99 cringed again from the pain.
"How about a litter of puppies?"
At that point the Doctor came on the line,
"86? This is Doctor Harris. Try and make it as comfortable as possible. Is there a bed?"
"Doc, I don't think now is the time for me to lie down and get comfortable"
"Not you 86, 99, get 99 over to a bed now"
Max looked over and saw the lopsided bed with blocks holding it up on one side. Max got back on the phone.
"Yes, there is a bed, if that's what you call it." He whispered over to 99. "That bed is in terrible shape. 99, remind me to get my deposit back when we check out"
Max carried 99 over to the bed, then got back on the phone.
"Ok Doc now what?"
"Undressed her and laid her on her side. Gently massaged her back and have her take deep slow breaths to calm her down."
Max did as the doctor said then started to rub 99's back.
"Ok Doc, she's breathing a little easier" Max said back into the phone.
"Now 86, gently put your finger into 99 to see if you can feel the baby's head."
Hearing this made Max confused, "Doc, I may not be a doctor but I'm pretty sure the baby has a head."
Doctor Harris put his hand to the bridge of his nose,
"No, No, 86, check to see if the head is close to the opening"
Max had 99 lay on her back with her legs apart and her knees up. He was about to check her when he noticed that the baby's head was already visible.
"I can see the head" Max stopped and looked closely, "99, our baby has blonde hair!" Max squinted suspiciously at 99 "I don't have blonde hair"
"Oh, Max," she moaned.
99 started feeling the pain again, "I think I feel another strong contraction coming . . ." She let out a loud scream, "Owwwwww."
99 grabbed Max's tie. As she pulled down with a tremendous yank, it started to choke him.
Max tried to get 99 to loosen her grip.
"99, (cough and choke) let go, you're cutting off my air"
Max whispered in a strained voice.
"MAX, I can't stand it! This is killing me" 99 screamed out
"My feeling exactly" Max choked out.
The contractions stopped and 99 released her grip.
Max dropped to the floor, rubbed his neck then got up and went to the phone.
"Doc, I hope this baby comes soon or I won't live long enough to see it"
"86, she is in the transition stage of labor she needs to start pushing, but slowly, so as not to cause her to tear."
Max had 99 pull her knees up and when the contraction started she was to push while counting to 10. Then she repeated this process while Max tried to
guide the baby's head out slowly.
"Max !!!! It's coming !! I can't stop it ! 99 yelled out
"99 you're doing great. Just try to remember what you did when the twins were coming."
The baby's head was out and Max turned the baby so its head was face up so he could clean its mouth out.
"This is great! Keep going 99, just one more push"
With one big push the rest of the baby was out. Max held the baby while rubbing its back. He heard a faint cry. Then he patted its back a little harder and heard a loud wail.
"Oh, 99, we have a beautiful baby. Max said as he cradled his newborn
"A beautiful baby what, Max?" 99 asked in an exhausted voice.
Max looked up and it dawned on him that he didn't notice. "Oh right 99". He looked between the baby's legs.
"Boy!" Max beamed
"Oh, Max, we did it, we did it!" 99 said as she smiled lovingly at Max.
The umbilical cord was still attached to the baby's tummy, but the Doctor told Max to leave it for the paramedics to cut. They would also deliver the placenta.
Max wiped the baby off with a clean towel and laid him on 99's bare chest. She looked into her new son's eyes and smiled. "Maxwell James Smart Jr."
Max grinned from ear to ear, "I like the sound of that"
Max covered them with a warm blanket then laid on the bed next to his wife and new baby waiting for the paramedics to come.
"You did good 99" Max said as he softly kissed his wife.
"I'm very proud of you Mr. Smart. Most men wouldn't have been able to do what you did."
"I've been trained to deal with situations like this 99. Max said proudly, "and the fact that it saved us from paying a hospital bill helps too."
Max reached his hand in and lightly touched his son's finger.
"That makes two boys and one girl." Max smiled slyly at 99. "Don't you think we need to even it out?".
99 let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, "All in good time Max, All in good time."
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