disclaimer etc. in first part :)
Part 3 - never alone - Buffy's P.O.V.
"Leaving so soon Eb?"
"Yeah, pretty quiet tonight."
I wave goodbye and pull my jacket on, it falls around me and instantly encompases my body. The hairs on the back of my neck tingle and I sigh, can't I just be left alone? I really don't need this right now. Just wanna go home, down a bottle - maybe more - of vodka, which will then hopefully lull me into a dreamless sleep, yeah right, what am I talking about? I'll always dream of it, the fire, the blood, the screams, it'll haunt me forever, slowly but surely driving me insane. I shake my head and quicken my steps but I'm not going to lose these bastards, they're determined. I stop abruptly and sigh loudly.
"What the fuck do you want?"
Silence. I roll my eyes and turn around, placing my hands on my hips.
"Come out, come out where ever you are! I promise I won't kick your ass that bad!"
They step out and of the shadows and as the light hits their faces a lump forms in my throat and I feel like I can't breathe. I know them...but I don't want to know them, it's him and her. The man I'm supposed to love is standing right infront of me but I don't care that it's him because I'm not the same girl he loved. I'll never be that girl.
I manage to finally swallow and my breath comes out in shallow gasps. I narrow my eyes at them and hold my head high, trying to stay emotionless, even though a tiny part of the old me - the part that hasn't been destroyed - wants to run and sob in his arms.
"What do you two want?"
His eyes lock on mine but I quickly look away, I don't want this, I just want to be alone. I look over at her and it suddenly hits me and I feel so stupid, how could I have not noticed it before? The way she stands so close, the way she looks at him lovingly, the way her hand is place on his back.....they're together... Faith and Angel, Angel and Faith. Oh god I feel like I'm going to vomit - from the alcohol? - I look down at the pavement and it spins sightly, I shake my head trying to clear my mind, - I don't care, I don't care - I shakily push my hair out of my face and manage to look at them with my perfected stony gaze.
"Well?! Times a wasting!"
"We want you."
A hollow, dead sound comes out of my mouth and I realise I'm laughing, they look at me questiongly and I know they think I'm crazy, hey they're right I am.
"Ohh, isn't that sweet? You want little ol' me."
I bat my eyelashes and pout.
"But sorry Angelbaby, plenty of other guys got there first."
I know it hurts him and for some sick reason it makes me happy, for once I'm the one hurting him, the one ripping his heart into pieces that no-one can pick up and I love it, because for a split second I wasn't hurting inside and someone else was.
"Buffy, we want you to help."
He practically grounds it out through his teeth and I notice his fists clenching at his side. He tries to catch my eye again but I look away at a point between their heads, if I just focus on that point, then I won't hurl, from the love and all things happy radiating off them. How can they be so loving when the world has gone to hell? Where no matter how hard you scrub the floor, the blood doesn't come off and then more comes and spills on it and then you give up in the end, because what's the point? My stomach churns again and I waver a little but manage to regain my balance.
"You want me to help? Sorry guys, not in that business anymore. And the names Ebony now."
Faith snorts and folds her arms over her chest, god I hate her, now I remember why, always trying to act like the bigger and better out of the two of us even though inside she knew I was the better, the faster, the stronger and back then I had Angel. I raise my eyebrow and open my mouth to say something but Angel steps forward and places his hand on my shoulder, even through my jacket I can feel the cool of his hand and I shiver as the cool spreads down my back.
I look up and let his eyes lock with mine and they're so pleading that I almost give in but I shrug off his hand and push him away. Faith suddenly pushes past Angel and sends her fist flying towards my face - act of protectiveness? - and I smile because this is exactly what I wanted, to fight - especially fight her - take out all of my pain on them, make them feel something close to what I'm feeling inside.
I grab her fist and squeeze, I smile cruelly as I hear and feel bones crack. She screams in pain, still weaker than me, always will be I guess. I push her into Angel and he glares at me but underneath all that anger I can see love for me and I feel sick but then I suddenly smile as I realise that now I have the power of him instead of him having power of me.
"Leave me alone."
I turn away, but Angel reaches for me and grabs my jacket, I turn my head and sneer at him as I slide out of my jacket and walk away. But before I get too far I turn around, facing them, and blow a kiss to him and wink.
*****************
The warm liquid slides down my throat, burning all the way down, and singeing the insides of my stomach, but I ignore the pain and open another bottle.
I make my way to my bed and strip off my dress, I curl up under the blankets and guzzle down more of the foul tasting liquid, tears burn my eyes and I begin to sob. It's the same every night, drink, cry, sleep, dream. I cry for my friends, I cry for my family, I cry for me and I even cry for Angel. The tears begin to dry and my eye lids close as I take one last sip.
//Fire. Blood. Screams. Dawn. No! I love you. Goodbye. Save me. Blood. everywhere. Tears. loss. pain. bruises. screams. blood. fire. scorching. hurt. death. sorrow.//
I wake to the sound of someone banging on my door. The pain subsides as the images of my dream fade and I make my way to the door.
End Part 3
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Part 3 - never alone - Buffy's P.O.V.
"Leaving so soon Eb?"
"Yeah, pretty quiet tonight."
I wave goodbye and pull my jacket on, it falls around me and instantly encompases my body. The hairs on the back of my neck tingle and I sigh, can't I just be left alone? I really don't need this right now. Just wanna go home, down a bottle - maybe more - of vodka, which will then hopefully lull me into a dreamless sleep, yeah right, what am I talking about? I'll always dream of it, the fire, the blood, the screams, it'll haunt me forever, slowly but surely driving me insane. I shake my head and quicken my steps but I'm not going to lose these bastards, they're determined. I stop abruptly and sigh loudly.
"What the fuck do you want?"
Silence. I roll my eyes and turn around, placing my hands on my hips.
"Come out, come out where ever you are! I promise I won't kick your ass that bad!"
They step out and of the shadows and as the light hits their faces a lump forms in my throat and I feel like I can't breathe. I know them...but I don't want to know them, it's him and her. The man I'm supposed to love is standing right infront of me but I don't care that it's him because I'm not the same girl he loved. I'll never be that girl.
I manage to finally swallow and my breath comes out in shallow gasps. I narrow my eyes at them and hold my head high, trying to stay emotionless, even though a tiny part of the old me - the part that hasn't been destroyed - wants to run and sob in his arms.
"What do you two want?"
His eyes lock on mine but I quickly look away, I don't want this, I just want to be alone. I look over at her and it suddenly hits me and I feel so stupid, how could I have not noticed it before? The way she stands so close, the way she looks at him lovingly, the way her hand is place on his back.....they're together... Faith and Angel, Angel and Faith. Oh god I feel like I'm going to vomit - from the alcohol? - I look down at the pavement and it spins sightly, I shake my head trying to clear my mind, - I don't care, I don't care - I shakily push my hair out of my face and manage to look at them with my perfected stony gaze.
"Well?! Times a wasting!"
"We want you."
A hollow, dead sound comes out of my mouth and I realise I'm laughing, they look at me questiongly and I know they think I'm crazy, hey they're right I am.
"Ohh, isn't that sweet? You want little ol' me."
I bat my eyelashes and pout.
"But sorry Angelbaby, plenty of other guys got there first."
I know it hurts him and for some sick reason it makes me happy, for once I'm the one hurting him, the one ripping his heart into pieces that no-one can pick up and I love it, because for a split second I wasn't hurting inside and someone else was.
"Buffy, we want you to help."
He practically grounds it out through his teeth and I notice his fists clenching at his side. He tries to catch my eye again but I look away at a point between their heads, if I just focus on that point, then I won't hurl, from the love and all things happy radiating off them. How can they be so loving when the world has gone to hell? Where no matter how hard you scrub the floor, the blood doesn't come off and then more comes and spills on it and then you give up in the end, because what's the point? My stomach churns again and I waver a little but manage to regain my balance.
"You want me to help? Sorry guys, not in that business anymore. And the names Ebony now."
Faith snorts and folds her arms over her chest, god I hate her, now I remember why, always trying to act like the bigger and better out of the two of us even though inside she knew I was the better, the faster, the stronger and back then I had Angel. I raise my eyebrow and open my mouth to say something but Angel steps forward and places his hand on my shoulder, even through my jacket I can feel the cool of his hand and I shiver as the cool spreads down my back.
I look up and let his eyes lock with mine and they're so pleading that I almost give in but I shrug off his hand and push him away. Faith suddenly pushes past Angel and sends her fist flying towards my face - act of protectiveness? - and I smile because this is exactly what I wanted, to fight - especially fight her - take out all of my pain on them, make them feel something close to what I'm feeling inside.
I grab her fist and squeeze, I smile cruelly as I hear and feel bones crack. She screams in pain, still weaker than me, always will be I guess. I push her into Angel and he glares at me but underneath all that anger I can see love for me and I feel sick but then I suddenly smile as I realise that now I have the power of him instead of him having power of me.
"Leave me alone."
I turn away, but Angel reaches for me and grabs my jacket, I turn my head and sneer at him as I slide out of my jacket and walk away. But before I get too far I turn around, facing them, and blow a kiss to him and wink.
*****************
The warm liquid slides down my throat, burning all the way down, and singeing the insides of my stomach, but I ignore the pain and open another bottle.
I make my way to my bed and strip off my dress, I curl up under the blankets and guzzle down more of the foul tasting liquid, tears burn my eyes and I begin to sob. It's the same every night, drink, cry, sleep, dream. I cry for my friends, I cry for my family, I cry for me and I even cry for Angel. The tears begin to dry and my eye lids close as I take one last sip.
//Fire. Blood. Screams. Dawn. No! I love you. Goodbye. Save me. Blood. everywhere. Tears. loss. pain. bruises. screams. blood. fire. scorching. hurt. death. sorrow.//
I wake to the sound of someone banging on my door. The pain subsides as the images of my dream fade and I make my way to the door.
End Part 3
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