Disclaimer etc. in first part
Part 5 - We said you and me - Buffy's P.O.V.
We drive in silence, Angel and I, every so often he catches my eye and smiles but I look away. I haven't genuinely smiled in a long time, why start now?
Should I start because my ex-lover is sitting right next to me? So close that I can smell his scent everytime I breahte in, so close that my blood is screaming for him. Screaming for him to take me, bite me, break me, make me his. Just sitting next to him, not even touching, is bringing back all the unwanted memories. The kisses, the passion, the lust, the love....everything that I haven't let myself feel, everything I don't want to feel, because everytime I do it's ripped away from me and I'm left alone in the unforgiving darkness.
He smiles at me again but I just look at him blankly and then try and focus on the road ahead of us. I hear him sigh and then his cool breath dances over my skin teasingly, daring me to tell him that deep down I still love him, that I want him so badly that my bones ache with a need that only he can satisfy.
I shake my head trying to make sense of the mess that is my mind, but all I manage to do ismake it worse. Still love him?! What the hell am I talking about? You don't love him remember? He left you, he hurt you, he made you cry, he made you patheic, he made you feel....but none of that matters, when you think about it, because it's him.....fuck I need to get out of here! He's goddamn everywhere!!
"Are you okay Ebony?"
"I'm fine." I snap irritably, his eyes darken and he stops the car abruptly. I open my mouth but he cuts me off.
"Get out."
"What the fuck?"
"We're here."
"Oh."
I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment and I scowl. Why am I embarrassed??? I don't give a shit what he thinks. I get out of the car and slam the door muttering "asshole" under my breath. Angel comes up beside me and nudges me forward.
"I heard that you know."
"Good."
He frowns and opens his mouth - probably to say some angry retort - but he quickly closes his mouth and glares at me, his jaw clenching. I smile innocently and revell in how I can still make him mad, good to see some things haven't changed.
Angel pounds on the door - still angry? - and it opens revealing my dark haired sister slayer Faith. She jumps into his arms and kisses him - more like mauls him - I roll my eyes and pray for something to kill me now or else I think I might just vomit. Have they never heard of "get a room" I mean not everyone wants to see her shoving her tongue down his throat. - jealous? -
After their little 'make-out session. Faith looks at me and smiles.
"Hey B."
I nod my head but don't smile back, I know what she's thinking "Ha.Ha I finally have what was yours and what I always wanted." but I don't show any emotion on my face, and shame on her I don't want him anymore anyway. - are you sure about that? - I continue to stare at her until she coughs uncomfortably and turns around, leading us inside. I'm not going to let her win, I'm better than that, better than her.
They lead me to a large room, the walls are littered with maps, drawings, photos and sketches. A large bookcase leans against the back walla and a table sists in the middle, again littered with maps, empty coffecups and plates.
Angel and Faith leave to get the others I guess and I make my way towards the photos on the wall. I lightly touch the photos, as if touching them too hard will burn me. Tears blur my vision and their faces melt into one and I clutch my chest, trying to reach my heart so I can soothe the pain. As the tears slide down my face, the faces separate and I see the photos-memories of them/ Red hair, cheeky grin, wrinkly face, blonde hair, blue eyes, long hair.....Willow Rosenburg, Alexander Harris, Rupert Giles, Anya Harris, Tara McClay and lastly Dawn Summers. My beautiful sister. I haven't seen them for so long, only in my dreams, I'd forgotten how beautiful and special they all are. Missing is written underneath their photos, I should add dead.
Another photo catches my eye and I gasp, I know this girl, blonde hair, green eyes, pouty mouth......it's me. The old me, the real me. Buffy Anne Summers. It sounds silly but I'd forgotten what I really looked like, I haven't looked at my reflection for a long time. I look so young, so carefree, so loved, I can just imagine how I look now, broken, dead, cold. I quickly wipe my eyes as voices approach, I take one last long look at the people that I held so close to my heart before they all enter the room.
"Hey Buffy you're looking....guys what's a word better than trailer trash?"
"Cordelia for god's sake."
"What?! I'm right and you know it."
"Cordelia. Wesley."
No nice to see you, how are you, kiss my ass because I don't even like these people why waste my oh so lovely charms on them? But I do try to smile at them it ends up drooping and I give up. Angel probably filled them in on how crazy I was so why bother. I can imagine what he said "She's fragile, all of her loved ones are dead, so no sudden movements and for god's sake Cordelia pay attention!" I stifle a laugh as a girl with mousy brown hair runs over to me.
"Hi I'm Fred, well Winifred Burkle but you can call me Fred, I'm Wesley's fiance. I'm sure he has told you about me....well if you were here he would have."
She shoves her hand out to me and I extend mine, she grabs it and beams at me, enthusiastically shaking it, a little TOO enthusiastically, this girl kinda freaks me out.
"Hey, so you're Buffy or Ebony, I'm Gunn."
A tall black man steps forwards and smiles warmly, nodding his head at me. He opens his mouth to speak again but I cut him off.
"Call me Ebony, and if you're gonna make some dumbass remark about how 'spry' I am, I'll kick your ass."
He laughs loudly and shakes my hand.
"I like you."
I smile, I like him too. He's real and honest, not freaky like that other girl. And the way Cordelia's is glaring at me, he's with her. Isn't this so fucken sweet? Everybody is paired off in their own happy little couple and of course minus me, isn't that how it always is? Solo. Alone.
A boy comes into the room, he looks about 16 or 17, he looks so familiar but I just can't quite place him in my mind. His skin is pale which is a shock contrast to his black hair. His piercing blue eyes lock with mine and I look away unnerved.
"Ebony this is my son, Connor."
Angel's words stab me in the chest and I cltuch my stomach, leaning on the table as my head spins.
"Your son?" I manage to say it calmly, but inside I'm dying.
"Yes my son, Darla is his mother."
Another stab to the chest. Darla? Evil Darla? Vampire Darla? Dead Darla?
"What...how???"
He open his mouth to explain but I hold my hand up to stop him.
"It's okay I don't want to know."
His son. Connor. Son. His and hers. Theirs. - I don't care, I don't care - I push my hair out of my face and turn to face Connnor.
"Hi, I'm Ebony nice to meet you."
"Likewise."
He looks so much like them, the eyes, the face, the hair, it hurts too much to look at him. He's beautiful, exactly like how you would expect Angel and Darla's child to look like. Wasn't I supposed to be the mother of his children? Weren't me and him meant to spend our last days together? I shake my head again, pushing down those thoughts, what the hell am I thinking?? I need to lie down.
"Is there somewhere I can lie down? I'm suddenly tired."
Wesley nods his head and takes me to an empty room. He offers to stay but I assure him it's okay and he closes the door, leaving me to sit alone with my thoughts. I clutch the pillow to my chest and tears run down my face as I close my eyes.
I am dead. I am cold. I am stone. If I am then why does it hurt so much?
End of Part 5
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Part 5 - We said you and me - Buffy's P.O.V.
We drive in silence, Angel and I, every so often he catches my eye and smiles but I look away. I haven't genuinely smiled in a long time, why start now?
Should I start because my ex-lover is sitting right next to me? So close that I can smell his scent everytime I breahte in, so close that my blood is screaming for him. Screaming for him to take me, bite me, break me, make me his. Just sitting next to him, not even touching, is bringing back all the unwanted memories. The kisses, the passion, the lust, the love....everything that I haven't let myself feel, everything I don't want to feel, because everytime I do it's ripped away from me and I'm left alone in the unforgiving darkness.
He smiles at me again but I just look at him blankly and then try and focus on the road ahead of us. I hear him sigh and then his cool breath dances over my skin teasingly, daring me to tell him that deep down I still love him, that I want him so badly that my bones ache with a need that only he can satisfy.
I shake my head trying to make sense of the mess that is my mind, but all I manage to do ismake it worse. Still love him?! What the hell am I talking about? You don't love him remember? He left you, he hurt you, he made you cry, he made you patheic, he made you feel....but none of that matters, when you think about it, because it's him.....fuck I need to get out of here! He's goddamn everywhere!!
"Are you okay Ebony?"
"I'm fine." I snap irritably, his eyes darken and he stops the car abruptly. I open my mouth but he cuts me off.
"Get out."
"What the fuck?"
"We're here."
"Oh."
I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment and I scowl. Why am I embarrassed??? I don't give a shit what he thinks. I get out of the car and slam the door muttering "asshole" under my breath. Angel comes up beside me and nudges me forward.
"I heard that you know."
"Good."
He frowns and opens his mouth - probably to say some angry retort - but he quickly closes his mouth and glares at me, his jaw clenching. I smile innocently and revell in how I can still make him mad, good to see some things haven't changed.
Angel pounds on the door - still angry? - and it opens revealing my dark haired sister slayer Faith. She jumps into his arms and kisses him - more like mauls him - I roll my eyes and pray for something to kill me now or else I think I might just vomit. Have they never heard of "get a room" I mean not everyone wants to see her shoving her tongue down his throat. - jealous? -
After their little 'make-out session. Faith looks at me and smiles.
"Hey B."
I nod my head but don't smile back, I know what she's thinking "Ha.Ha I finally have what was yours and what I always wanted." but I don't show any emotion on my face, and shame on her I don't want him anymore anyway. - are you sure about that? - I continue to stare at her until she coughs uncomfortably and turns around, leading us inside. I'm not going to let her win, I'm better than that, better than her.
They lead me to a large room, the walls are littered with maps, drawings, photos and sketches. A large bookcase leans against the back walla and a table sists in the middle, again littered with maps, empty coffecups and plates.
Angel and Faith leave to get the others I guess and I make my way towards the photos on the wall. I lightly touch the photos, as if touching them too hard will burn me. Tears blur my vision and their faces melt into one and I clutch my chest, trying to reach my heart so I can soothe the pain. As the tears slide down my face, the faces separate and I see the photos-memories of them/ Red hair, cheeky grin, wrinkly face, blonde hair, blue eyes, long hair.....Willow Rosenburg, Alexander Harris, Rupert Giles, Anya Harris, Tara McClay and lastly Dawn Summers. My beautiful sister. I haven't seen them for so long, only in my dreams, I'd forgotten how beautiful and special they all are. Missing is written underneath their photos, I should add dead.
Another photo catches my eye and I gasp, I know this girl, blonde hair, green eyes, pouty mouth......it's me. The old me, the real me. Buffy Anne Summers. It sounds silly but I'd forgotten what I really looked like, I haven't looked at my reflection for a long time. I look so young, so carefree, so loved, I can just imagine how I look now, broken, dead, cold. I quickly wipe my eyes as voices approach, I take one last long look at the people that I held so close to my heart before they all enter the room.
"Hey Buffy you're looking....guys what's a word better than trailer trash?"
"Cordelia for god's sake."
"What?! I'm right and you know it."
"Cordelia. Wesley."
No nice to see you, how are you, kiss my ass because I don't even like these people why waste my oh so lovely charms on them? But I do try to smile at them it ends up drooping and I give up. Angel probably filled them in on how crazy I was so why bother. I can imagine what he said "She's fragile, all of her loved ones are dead, so no sudden movements and for god's sake Cordelia pay attention!" I stifle a laugh as a girl with mousy brown hair runs over to me.
"Hi I'm Fred, well Winifred Burkle but you can call me Fred, I'm Wesley's fiance. I'm sure he has told you about me....well if you were here he would have."
She shoves her hand out to me and I extend mine, she grabs it and beams at me, enthusiastically shaking it, a little TOO enthusiastically, this girl kinda freaks me out.
"Hey, so you're Buffy or Ebony, I'm Gunn."
A tall black man steps forwards and smiles warmly, nodding his head at me. He opens his mouth to speak again but I cut him off.
"Call me Ebony, and if you're gonna make some dumbass remark about how 'spry' I am, I'll kick your ass."
He laughs loudly and shakes my hand.
"I like you."
I smile, I like him too. He's real and honest, not freaky like that other girl. And the way Cordelia's is glaring at me, he's with her. Isn't this so fucken sweet? Everybody is paired off in their own happy little couple and of course minus me, isn't that how it always is? Solo. Alone.
A boy comes into the room, he looks about 16 or 17, he looks so familiar but I just can't quite place him in my mind. His skin is pale which is a shock contrast to his black hair. His piercing blue eyes lock with mine and I look away unnerved.
"Ebony this is my son, Connor."
Angel's words stab me in the chest and I cltuch my stomach, leaning on the table as my head spins.
"Your son?" I manage to say it calmly, but inside I'm dying.
"Yes my son, Darla is his mother."
Another stab to the chest. Darla? Evil Darla? Vampire Darla? Dead Darla?
"What...how???"
He open his mouth to explain but I hold my hand up to stop him.
"It's okay I don't want to know."
His son. Connor. Son. His and hers. Theirs. - I don't care, I don't care - I push my hair out of my face and turn to face Connnor.
"Hi, I'm Ebony nice to meet you."
"Likewise."
He looks so much like them, the eyes, the face, the hair, it hurts too much to look at him. He's beautiful, exactly like how you would expect Angel and Darla's child to look like. Wasn't I supposed to be the mother of his children? Weren't me and him meant to spend our last days together? I shake my head again, pushing down those thoughts, what the hell am I thinking?? I need to lie down.
"Is there somewhere I can lie down? I'm suddenly tired."
Wesley nods his head and takes me to an empty room. He offers to stay but I assure him it's okay and he closes the door, leaving me to sit alone with my thoughts. I clutch the pillow to my chest and tears run down my face as I close my eyes.
I am dead. I am cold. I am stone. If I am then why does it hurt so much?
End of Part 5
Feedback craving it badly! So send it in to me or review this on here pleeeaassse! Thanks to all the people that have :)