NOTE: Connor ages rapidly so that's why when Angel says "alive" for six years, it means he's kinda only 6 even though he looks 17.
NOTE 2: Just to clear up some confusion, Angel is still a vamp, he wears a ring with gem of amara in it, to protect him. Oh yeah this part has some MAJOR angst, just thought I'd warn ya ;)
NOTE 3: This part contains sexual content, I don't go into any deep description but you can kinda guess what they're doin ;)
Stone Cold
Part 6 - Kiss me there
"So that's Buffy huh?"
I nod my head at Connor and he nods back, his eyes darkening, a sign that he's thinking. Oh great here comes the endless questions, oh the joys of parenthood! I stifle a chuckle, 'parenthood' I still can't get over that. I'm a father, me, the vampire with a soul, who'd have a thought? Even though Connor has been 'alive' for six years, it feels a lot longer than that, not because there was always people after him but because I was so amazed over how I created him, that I was in constant awe....and still am.
All questions are forgotten as Connor rolls his eyes at me.
"Dad! You're doing it *again*"
"Doing what again?"
"That whole gushy mushy thing. It's so gross, please stop before I vomit."
I roll my eyes and laugh.
"Son, I lo-"
"No Dad! Remember you don't have to say it! How many times do we have to have this discussion?? I just now okay? I just know!"
I laugh again and ruffle his hair. A comforting warmth spreads through my heart...pride. I am so proud of him, he rolls his eyes and gets up walking away and muttering something about how gross parents can be, Faith laughs at me and pretends to vomit before telling me that she's taking Connor out to buy some clothes....she's probably going to try and take him to a club, like she always does, they'll never let him in he doesn't look old enough and even if he had I.D. I don't think they'd let in a six year old.
I let her go with him anyway because something...rather someone tugs at my brain and all of my thoughts rush back to her. Even after seven years of not seeing her at all, she still makes me speechless with just one look, one flick of her hair, one blink of an eye.
I still love her and I always will, but there's just so many layers of pain surrounding her that sometimes love can't conquer all. No longer can I just hold her in my arms and kiss the pain away, this is thicker. It hangs over her like a blanket, slowly suffocating her. And I feel so helpless, but I don't want to give up because for years she made me feel alive and now it's my turn.
I excuse myself from the others and make my way towards the room where Buffy is. As I get closer I hear her voice, it's panicked and scared. I open the door and find her crying in her sleep. I grab her arms and shaker her gently, softly calling her name, trying to coax her out of the nightmare.
Her eyes flutter open and she looks at me confused for a few seconds, while everything registers, as the memories of the dream hit she cries out and wraps her arms around me sobbing. My body goes rigid for a few seconds, I didn't expect this, I just came in to try and get her to talk to me, but I eventually relax and rub her back, enjoying the warmth of her body. She pulls back and looks up at me, I wipe away her tears and she smiles, gently leaning into my touch. As I lean in to kiss her, I almost pull back, I shouldn't be doing this, she needs to talk not kiss, she doesn't even want this but when our lips meet she doesn't pull away.
Buffy:
He kisses me so tenderley, so lovingly, so sweetley that I feel like I'm going to cry because it's just so damn beautiful and everything in my world is ugly. He pulls away reluctantly and I notice the look in his eyes, I know what he wants because I want it too. And I know I shouldn't, this will be the undoing of me, I'll find myself falling in love with him again and that can't happen because what we had is gone - are you sure? - we can't hold onto the shredded reamins of what we used to have....it's just...too much...But I lean into kiss him anyway, no matter how 'wrong' it is because for once I'm feeling something instead of feeling so hollow and lifeless.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down with me, he shifts his weight to the side, while his hands slide up and down my hips. I pull away from the kiss, breathing heavily and the world spins slightly, but it's a nice feeling, it's the feeling I used to get when I was 16 and Angel was my world.
"The curse?"
"Not a problem."
Images of Faith and Angel naked flash through my mind for a few seconds before I push them away and focus on him, the man that meant so much to me....that *still* means so much. I trace his features with my hand, as if I'm trying to familiarise myself with every curve and crease that I used to know. As my hand wanders to the spot where his pulse should be on his neck he gasps and I smile, I remember that he likes to be kissed there....remember....remember...memories....memories of how it used to be not how it is. It can't ever be the same can it? My smile falters and Angel's brow creases in concern.
"Buffy?"
I shake my head dissmissingly and lean forward again and kiss him, whilst unbuttoning his shirt. I don't want to stop because I don't know if we'll ever be like this again.
I wrap my legs around his waist and I scrape my nails accross his back and I run my hands along the muscles of his chest and I kiss that spot and I.....feel...for the first time in years I'm feeling....something....something close to love - or is it actual love? -
As I cry out his name and the world comes crashing down around us, he leans against me and whispers
"I love you."
I want to say it back, but what will it do? It can't make everything magically better, sometimes love just isn't enough. I want to cry as the empty feeling returns, as my heart feels heavy and cold, as my chest feels like its going to cave in, but I don't, I'm all cried out, and crying won't solve anything.
"Angel what are we doing here?"
He sighs and his breath dances over my skin again, the breath that I felt all over my body a few minutes ago, the breath I want to feel all over my body again.
"I don't know Buff-Ebony."
"Call me Buffy."
He smiles faintly and I try to smile but the moment is lost and the aftermath is now, where we have to decide 'where to from here?'
"Angel this...this...can't..ever.."
"be anything."
I nod my head and look away. No matter how much I try and convince myself that this is the right thing to do, I can't help but want him and wish that things were easy....I can't help but love him. I try to push it away but I can't, I'll love him for eternity, forever, cos isn't that the whole point? But like I said before sometimes love just isn't enough.
"We can't try and repair something that is just too broken and bruised."
"I know."
He reaches out and strokes my cheek, as I look into his eyes I see the love and pain that I'm feeling too and once again I find myself wishing that things were easy.
"Angel I lov-"
I don't finish the sentence because I know it'll ruin the moment and I want to hold onto this for as long as I can. He reaches out to me and I move forward into his arms. I curl up against his chest and he brings the blanket around us, resting his chin on my head, his arms wrap around me, pulling me even closer, I also wrap my arms around him.
"I know Buffy...I know."
Limbs entwined, we just lie there, Angel and I, in each others arms not wanting to let go but knowing that eventually we have to.
End Part 6
Don't worry B/A'ers this isn't the end of them! Also be ready for some action soon, sorry for the incredible lackage of action :) As always FEEDACK...REVIEW luv it.crave it.want it.need it. I'm a slave for it, so do me a HUGE favour and some in!! :)
NOTE 2: Just to clear up some confusion, Angel is still a vamp, he wears a ring with gem of amara in it, to protect him. Oh yeah this part has some MAJOR angst, just thought I'd warn ya ;)
NOTE 3: This part contains sexual content, I don't go into any deep description but you can kinda guess what they're doin ;)
Stone Cold
Part 6 - Kiss me there
"So that's Buffy huh?"
I nod my head at Connor and he nods back, his eyes darkening, a sign that he's thinking. Oh great here comes the endless questions, oh the joys of parenthood! I stifle a chuckle, 'parenthood' I still can't get over that. I'm a father, me, the vampire with a soul, who'd have a thought? Even though Connor has been 'alive' for six years, it feels a lot longer than that, not because there was always people after him but because I was so amazed over how I created him, that I was in constant awe....and still am.
All questions are forgotten as Connor rolls his eyes at me.
"Dad! You're doing it *again*"
"Doing what again?"
"That whole gushy mushy thing. It's so gross, please stop before I vomit."
I roll my eyes and laugh.
"Son, I lo-"
"No Dad! Remember you don't have to say it! How many times do we have to have this discussion?? I just now okay? I just know!"
I laugh again and ruffle his hair. A comforting warmth spreads through my heart...pride. I am so proud of him, he rolls his eyes and gets up walking away and muttering something about how gross parents can be, Faith laughs at me and pretends to vomit before telling me that she's taking Connor out to buy some clothes....she's probably going to try and take him to a club, like she always does, they'll never let him in he doesn't look old enough and even if he had I.D. I don't think they'd let in a six year old.
I let her go with him anyway because something...rather someone tugs at my brain and all of my thoughts rush back to her. Even after seven years of not seeing her at all, she still makes me speechless with just one look, one flick of her hair, one blink of an eye.
I still love her and I always will, but there's just so many layers of pain surrounding her that sometimes love can't conquer all. No longer can I just hold her in my arms and kiss the pain away, this is thicker. It hangs over her like a blanket, slowly suffocating her. And I feel so helpless, but I don't want to give up because for years she made me feel alive and now it's my turn.
I excuse myself from the others and make my way towards the room where Buffy is. As I get closer I hear her voice, it's panicked and scared. I open the door and find her crying in her sleep. I grab her arms and shaker her gently, softly calling her name, trying to coax her out of the nightmare.
Her eyes flutter open and she looks at me confused for a few seconds, while everything registers, as the memories of the dream hit she cries out and wraps her arms around me sobbing. My body goes rigid for a few seconds, I didn't expect this, I just came in to try and get her to talk to me, but I eventually relax and rub her back, enjoying the warmth of her body. She pulls back and looks up at me, I wipe away her tears and she smiles, gently leaning into my touch. As I lean in to kiss her, I almost pull back, I shouldn't be doing this, she needs to talk not kiss, she doesn't even want this but when our lips meet she doesn't pull away.
Buffy:
He kisses me so tenderley, so lovingly, so sweetley that I feel like I'm going to cry because it's just so damn beautiful and everything in my world is ugly. He pulls away reluctantly and I notice the look in his eyes, I know what he wants because I want it too. And I know I shouldn't, this will be the undoing of me, I'll find myself falling in love with him again and that can't happen because what we had is gone - are you sure? - we can't hold onto the shredded reamins of what we used to have....it's just...too much...But I lean into kiss him anyway, no matter how 'wrong' it is because for once I'm feeling something instead of feeling so hollow and lifeless.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down with me, he shifts his weight to the side, while his hands slide up and down my hips. I pull away from the kiss, breathing heavily and the world spins slightly, but it's a nice feeling, it's the feeling I used to get when I was 16 and Angel was my world.
"The curse?"
"Not a problem."
Images of Faith and Angel naked flash through my mind for a few seconds before I push them away and focus on him, the man that meant so much to me....that *still* means so much. I trace his features with my hand, as if I'm trying to familiarise myself with every curve and crease that I used to know. As my hand wanders to the spot where his pulse should be on his neck he gasps and I smile, I remember that he likes to be kissed there....remember....remember...memories....memories of how it used to be not how it is. It can't ever be the same can it? My smile falters and Angel's brow creases in concern.
"Buffy?"
I shake my head dissmissingly and lean forward again and kiss him, whilst unbuttoning his shirt. I don't want to stop because I don't know if we'll ever be like this again.
I wrap my legs around his waist and I scrape my nails accross his back and I run my hands along the muscles of his chest and I kiss that spot and I.....feel...for the first time in years I'm feeling....something....something close to love - or is it actual love? -
As I cry out his name and the world comes crashing down around us, he leans against me and whispers
"I love you."
I want to say it back, but what will it do? It can't make everything magically better, sometimes love just isn't enough. I want to cry as the empty feeling returns, as my heart feels heavy and cold, as my chest feels like its going to cave in, but I don't, I'm all cried out, and crying won't solve anything.
"Angel what are we doing here?"
He sighs and his breath dances over my skin again, the breath that I felt all over my body a few minutes ago, the breath I want to feel all over my body again.
"I don't know Buff-Ebony."
"Call me Buffy."
He smiles faintly and I try to smile but the moment is lost and the aftermath is now, where we have to decide 'where to from here?'
"Angel this...this...can't..ever.."
"be anything."
I nod my head and look away. No matter how much I try and convince myself that this is the right thing to do, I can't help but want him and wish that things were easy....I can't help but love him. I try to push it away but I can't, I'll love him for eternity, forever, cos isn't that the whole point? But like I said before sometimes love just isn't enough.
"We can't try and repair something that is just too broken and bruised."
"I know."
He reaches out and strokes my cheek, as I look into his eyes I see the love and pain that I'm feeling too and once again I find myself wishing that things were easy.
"Angel I lov-"
I don't finish the sentence because I know it'll ruin the moment and I want to hold onto this for as long as I can. He reaches out to me and I move forward into his arms. I curl up against his chest and he brings the blanket around us, resting his chin on my head, his arms wrap around me, pulling me even closer, I also wrap my arms around him.
"I know Buffy...I know."
Limbs entwined, we just lie there, Angel and I, in each others arms not wanting to let go but knowing that eventually we have to.
End Part 6
Don't worry B/A'ers this isn't the end of them! Also be ready for some action soon, sorry for the incredible lackage of action :) As always FEEDACK...REVIEW luv it.crave it.want it.need it. I'm a slave for it, so do me a HUGE favour and some in!! :)