AN: I can't remember the name or the exact lyrics of the song that Joyce is humming to the girls so I made some of the lyrics up.
AN2: This part is damn angsty! And it's pretty dark and not happy, much like the pervious parts of the story, just thought I'd warn ya :)
Stone Cold
Part 8 - Dear Sister
Buffy P.O.V.
As I walk out of the room, I feel his eyes burning into my back and I hate it. It's meant to be over but he keeps stirring all of these feelings in me and I want to kiss him, to punch him, to scream at him, to feel his weight ontop of me. I want it all, the guy, the family, the friends, the shiny happy life.....the son. But I have nothing and that's probably how it will always be.
"You can come with us Ebony."
Wesley signals to a black van and I nod my head, glancing over at Angel who for some annoying reason is glancing over at me. He leads Faith - now nursing a broken nose - and Connor to his car. They look like a family, Connor could pass as Faith's real son and then they could all live happily ever after. I hate them. Wesley turns away but I grab his arm and he stops.
"Wes, call me Buffy."
His eyes widen with surprise and then he smiles, little wrinkles crease in the corners of his eyes and I feel my heart clench...he reminds me so much of Giles. Wesley notices my change in demeanour and reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder but I dodge his touch and hurry towards the van. I have to get away from these people, they're so loving and kind and it makes me sick - but isn't that what you need? what you want? -
I sit in the backseat of the van by myself while Cordelia and Gunn sit infront of me and Wesley and Fred take the front seats. They chat amongst themselves but I don't try to join in, I just stare out the window and into the dark abyss of the night. The shadows encompass everything, killing all the bright, happy things in its path.
Every now and then I see a flash of someone as the the headlights sweep over the buildings, but most people are hiding, they think that if they just close the door and huddle by the fire that they'll be okay, that nothing will get them or their families because the bad things only live in the dark....not anymore.
I remember when the revolution had started and when the demons had become brave and had started to attack during the day. A group of coorlog demons stormed through a classroom of seven year olds, leaving no-one alive, not even the pet gerbil. I remember getting there too late and blood was everywhere and I remember I collapsed on the ground and cried because if I hadn't been too busy screwing Spike then I could've saved those children and the picutres of happy families and sunshine that they had drawn could've come true.
Me and Spike, what a joke. I really thought I was falling in love with him, I never really did though, I was just fooling myself, trying to feel something that wasn't even there. But I learnt and grew up, moved on and then I finally didn't want to die anymore and I was smiling and laughing and loving and then it was ripped away from me, and I found myself wanting to die all over again.
//"Willow you're my big gun, if we don't return in 30 minutes then start the spell."
She nods her head and bites her lip.
"You will come back won't you?"
"Of course."
I squeeze her hand and I try to smile reassuringly, but I'm really not sure if we will be back. We've already lost Tara and Giles and the demons are getting stronger and there's just so much of them.
"Buffy...I...love you."
"I know Will, I love you too."
I hug her and inhale the familiar scent of herbs and I want to cry and throw a tantrum because I want to stay here, at my house, with my friends where I feel safe and loved. But I know what I have to do, it's my job...my duty, so I pull away and leave, and when I close the door I don't realise that it'll be the last time I will ever see my best friend Willow Rosenburg alive.//
It was a trap of course and as Angelus said all of those years ago "And you fall for it everytime." I remember how I ran back to my house, so fast that my heart felt as though it was going to burst through my chest....but I was too late again.
"Buffy...Buffy??"
I look over at Cordelia and she hands me a stake and an ax.
"We're here."
We all huddle together around an abandoned building as Cordelia dishes out the weapoins. Wesley comes and stands next to me and points to a warehouse a couple of buildings away.
"That's the warehouse, you and Angel will take the roof enterance. Faith, Connor and Fred will go in the back and Cordelia, Gunn and I will take the side."
"So it's just a smash and grab deal?"
He chuckles and nods his head. We all split off into our groups with Angel and I leading the way. As the others go to their positions, Angel boosts me up to reach the ladder and I blush as I feel his hands all over me. Get with the program Summers! You're to fight, kill then get out and leave these people behind! We reach the roof and Angel comes and stands next to me as we look into the building and wait for the signal.
"Buffy I want to thank you for helping us, I really mean it."
"Don't thank me yet."
He smiles and I find myself smiling back and that stupid warm feeling is rushing through my body again. Suddenly he's standing right beside me and I'm leaning up against him and he's looking down at me lovingly, we hear a whistle and we quickly pull away, I open my mouth to... I don't know apologise? But he nods his head towards the open window in the skylite and I close my mouth and nod back. I jump through, landing like a cat, on some sort of platform. Work stops around me and I look into the humans eyes and hope is shining through their eyes and as I stand some of them shed a tear and I get that old feeling, that feeling that I got when I was the active slayer, the one that reminded me that this was what I was born to do, it was my duty to save people.
"Grab her!!"
"Sorry to drop in like that, I didn't realise it was invite only."
Angel lands beside me and I smile innocently and shrug.
"I hope you don't mind, I bought some friends along. NOW GUYS!!"
And the fight begins, I jump down from the platform landing on a vampire, stake ready. Poof. gone. I feel arms wrap around me but I grab them and flip him over, landing a kick to his head, stake stabbing forward. poof. gone. I hear a scream and look up to see Fred being cornered by another vampire. I make my way towards her, punching and kicking and staking.
"Hey baby."
I turn around and punch him in the face and twist his arm, smiling when I hear bones crack.
"Don't *ever* call me baby"
Stake ready. poof. gone.
"Hey big boy. Pick on someone your own size, well half your size but who's counting."
The vampire cornering Fred turns around and growls, I jump towards him landing on his shoulders, he tries to grab my legs but I jump again, grabbing onto a chain above me, I pull the chain and let go pushing the vampire into the path of the falling weight. He screams out but doesn't make it in time, Fred smiles at me, handing me my stake and I smile in return.
I look over at Angel and he points at a girl standing with her back to us, I nod and run over to here, dodging arms and flying weapons aimed for my head. As I near the strange girl I hear her humming, and I frown as I recognise the tune.
// "Mother, mother, tell me true
what can grow without the dew
what can burn for years and years
what can cry but shed no tears"
"Goodnight my girls."
Mom's arms wrap tighter around us and she places a kiss on our heads, Dawn yawns while I close my eyes, Mom's humming lulling me to sleep.
"Mother, mother, tell me true
what can grow without the dew
what can burn for years and years
what can cry but shed no tears"//
I finally reach the strange girl and I walk towards her, reaching out my hand to turn her around but I stop as she speaks.
"Sister, dear sister."
"Who..what..are you talking about??"
"Don't you remember this voice, dear sister?"
Sister? What the fuck?
"The only sister I ever had, is dead."
"You're right there dear sister, but you're also wrong, yes she died not body but soul, the old Dawn is gone and there's a new one in her place. I'm so glad you could join the party Buffy, I've been waiting for you."
This can't be Dawn, Dawn is dead, I watched as the fire encompassed her body, I watched on helplessley, until I couldn't bear the smell of burning flesh any longer.
"You are *not* Dawn Summers."
She shakes her head and her long brown hair moves with her head, her hair, long and silky just like Dawn's, I remember all the times I used to play with it because it was so beautiful. No this is not Dawn.
"Sister, dear, dear, sister. How about I show you?"
She slowly turns around, but stops halfway and I feel my heart stop with her because half of Dawn's beautiful face is staring at me, the blue eyes, the pouty mouth, the cute little brown freckles // "At least a fly didn't poo on my face!!"
"It's not poo, they're freckles!"
"Yeah sure, whatever"
"I hate you Buffy!!"
"I hate you more!"//
I clutch my chest and stagger slightly, shaking my head, blinking as if that will erase this imposter from my vision, but she still stands there infront of me, Dawn, Dawnie, my sister, my sweet sweet sister.
"Bu...but..th-the..fire??"
She laughs and I feel tears sting my eyes as her laugh sounds like mine, hollow, dead.
"That's a funny story that, rather a painful story. Yes you saw me get eaten by the fire but if you'd stayed around for longer then you would've seen that it didn't get all of me and I managed to get out."
She turns around completely and I gasp as she pushes away her hair from the left side of her face, revealing burnt, disfigured, skin, she touches it, tears forming in her eyes and I look away dizzly, holding onto my stomach as if I'm trying to keep my insides in.
"All down the left side of my body, everywhere. I have to live with it everyday, the pain, the ugliness, I hate it, I hate you."
"Wha-what did I do?"
"It was all your fault!!"
"What is? I tried to save you! I did!"
"I see you've changed your look, did the guilt do that to you dear sister?"
"Guilt?"
"It *was* your fault I 'died'. If you hadn't have gotten involved with old Spikey boy then the whole 'fire incident' would never have happened."
"What do you mean?"
"You were always such an idiot dear sister, don't you ever wonder who started the fire?"
"I..I.."
"It was him, Spike, jealous ex-lover, usual story, loved you but you didn't love him, he got his chip out - without telling you of course - and decided to pay you back for how you treated him, which was pretty crap by the way."
Spike? How could he?!
"Oh you needn't worry about him dear sister, he's not around anymore, he was one of my first kills, don't look at me like that! He deserved it, he did after all, kill the old Dawn."
"I didn't know he was going to do that...I'm sorry...dawnie.."
She leans forward and mocks sympathy, gently stroking my face before her face twists into anger and she slaps me.
"You bitch! You're sorry?? It was all your fucken fault!! All of yours!! Do you remember how Anya died clutching her stomach, as if she was holding her unborn son's hand. Your. fault. bitch. You're so fucking stupid! Willow dying. your. fault. Xander. Giles. Tara. Me!!!!! You deserve to die, not me, not me, NOT ME!"
Her hands cover her ears and she screams, clutching at her hair, pulling it until she rips some of it out. Her eyes suddenly fly open and she breathes out heavily, chest heaving.
"Sorry about that, I have some...issues."
"Why didn't you come looking for me?"
"Why?? Were you not listening??!! Dawn died in that building, her feelings, her thoughts, all died along with her, why the fuck would I come looking for you?? Because we're 'sisters', whoopdee fucken shit, 'it's all about blood Dawnie'. I don't give a flying fuck, blood stains and it's useless, it doesn't save you, don't you remember how you had to die all because of stupid fucken blood??!!"
// "Live for me." \\
"What..are you?"
"I'm *still* the key of course, I'm still human, well at least I think so but I've learnt some moves, I'm stronger now dear sister and I'm here to bring hell on this godforsaken shit hole."
"What do you mean?"
She leans forward and she smirks at me, her wrinkled burnt skin, creasing and crinkling, I feel like I'm going to vomit.
"You'll find out soon. Stick around dear sister, it's going to be one hell of a ride."
She winks with her disfigured eye and I feel my stomach lurch, I fall to the ground and vomit, my head pounding and my heart aching. I hear her walk away and I roll away from my vomit, wiping my mouth and at the tears running down my face.
"Buffy? What happened? Are you okay? Buffy??"
I block the voices out and lie there sobbing, Dawn, Dawn, my sister, my blood, my beautiful sister, dead, gone, the new Dawn walking around in her grotesque body, hating me, like I hate myself. It's all my fault she died, all my fault everyone died because I should have been there protecting them. It was my duty, my job, my life and I failed, like I always do.
End of Part 8
*dun dun dun dun DUN* Whoa that was a long part! WAY longer than usual, so you like? The plot is thickening, don't expect it to get much happier, it's gonna stay angsty, B/A coming up ;) Feedback, I'm a slave for it!
Oh yeah, Dawn is alive but she's sort of crazy now so when she says it was you fault I died she's talking about the old Dawn, just like how Buffy has changed a lot.
AN2: This part is damn angsty! And it's pretty dark and not happy, much like the pervious parts of the story, just thought I'd warn ya :)
Stone Cold
Part 8 - Dear Sister
Buffy P.O.V.
As I walk out of the room, I feel his eyes burning into my back and I hate it. It's meant to be over but he keeps stirring all of these feelings in me and I want to kiss him, to punch him, to scream at him, to feel his weight ontop of me. I want it all, the guy, the family, the friends, the shiny happy life.....the son. But I have nothing and that's probably how it will always be.
"You can come with us Ebony."
Wesley signals to a black van and I nod my head, glancing over at Angel who for some annoying reason is glancing over at me. He leads Faith - now nursing a broken nose - and Connor to his car. They look like a family, Connor could pass as Faith's real son and then they could all live happily ever after. I hate them. Wesley turns away but I grab his arm and he stops.
"Wes, call me Buffy."
His eyes widen with surprise and then he smiles, little wrinkles crease in the corners of his eyes and I feel my heart clench...he reminds me so much of Giles. Wesley notices my change in demeanour and reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder but I dodge his touch and hurry towards the van. I have to get away from these people, they're so loving and kind and it makes me sick - but isn't that what you need? what you want? -
I sit in the backseat of the van by myself while Cordelia and Gunn sit infront of me and Wesley and Fred take the front seats. They chat amongst themselves but I don't try to join in, I just stare out the window and into the dark abyss of the night. The shadows encompass everything, killing all the bright, happy things in its path.
Every now and then I see a flash of someone as the the headlights sweep over the buildings, but most people are hiding, they think that if they just close the door and huddle by the fire that they'll be okay, that nothing will get them or their families because the bad things only live in the dark....not anymore.
I remember when the revolution had started and when the demons had become brave and had started to attack during the day. A group of coorlog demons stormed through a classroom of seven year olds, leaving no-one alive, not even the pet gerbil. I remember getting there too late and blood was everywhere and I remember I collapsed on the ground and cried because if I hadn't been too busy screwing Spike then I could've saved those children and the picutres of happy families and sunshine that they had drawn could've come true.
Me and Spike, what a joke. I really thought I was falling in love with him, I never really did though, I was just fooling myself, trying to feel something that wasn't even there. But I learnt and grew up, moved on and then I finally didn't want to die anymore and I was smiling and laughing and loving and then it was ripped away from me, and I found myself wanting to die all over again.
//"Willow you're my big gun, if we don't return in 30 minutes then start the spell."
She nods her head and bites her lip.
"You will come back won't you?"
"Of course."
I squeeze her hand and I try to smile reassuringly, but I'm really not sure if we will be back. We've already lost Tara and Giles and the demons are getting stronger and there's just so much of them.
"Buffy...I...love you."
"I know Will, I love you too."
I hug her and inhale the familiar scent of herbs and I want to cry and throw a tantrum because I want to stay here, at my house, with my friends where I feel safe and loved. But I know what I have to do, it's my job...my duty, so I pull away and leave, and when I close the door I don't realise that it'll be the last time I will ever see my best friend Willow Rosenburg alive.//
It was a trap of course and as Angelus said all of those years ago "And you fall for it everytime." I remember how I ran back to my house, so fast that my heart felt as though it was going to burst through my chest....but I was too late again.
"Buffy...Buffy??"
I look over at Cordelia and she hands me a stake and an ax.
"We're here."
We all huddle together around an abandoned building as Cordelia dishes out the weapoins. Wesley comes and stands next to me and points to a warehouse a couple of buildings away.
"That's the warehouse, you and Angel will take the roof enterance. Faith, Connor and Fred will go in the back and Cordelia, Gunn and I will take the side."
"So it's just a smash and grab deal?"
He chuckles and nods his head. We all split off into our groups with Angel and I leading the way. As the others go to their positions, Angel boosts me up to reach the ladder and I blush as I feel his hands all over me. Get with the program Summers! You're to fight, kill then get out and leave these people behind! We reach the roof and Angel comes and stands next to me as we look into the building and wait for the signal.
"Buffy I want to thank you for helping us, I really mean it."
"Don't thank me yet."
He smiles and I find myself smiling back and that stupid warm feeling is rushing through my body again. Suddenly he's standing right beside me and I'm leaning up against him and he's looking down at me lovingly, we hear a whistle and we quickly pull away, I open my mouth to... I don't know apologise? But he nods his head towards the open window in the skylite and I close my mouth and nod back. I jump through, landing like a cat, on some sort of platform. Work stops around me and I look into the humans eyes and hope is shining through their eyes and as I stand some of them shed a tear and I get that old feeling, that feeling that I got when I was the active slayer, the one that reminded me that this was what I was born to do, it was my duty to save people.
"Grab her!!"
"Sorry to drop in like that, I didn't realise it was invite only."
Angel lands beside me and I smile innocently and shrug.
"I hope you don't mind, I bought some friends along. NOW GUYS!!"
And the fight begins, I jump down from the platform landing on a vampire, stake ready. Poof. gone. I feel arms wrap around me but I grab them and flip him over, landing a kick to his head, stake stabbing forward. poof. gone. I hear a scream and look up to see Fred being cornered by another vampire. I make my way towards her, punching and kicking and staking.
"Hey baby."
I turn around and punch him in the face and twist his arm, smiling when I hear bones crack.
"Don't *ever* call me baby"
Stake ready. poof. gone.
"Hey big boy. Pick on someone your own size, well half your size but who's counting."
The vampire cornering Fred turns around and growls, I jump towards him landing on his shoulders, he tries to grab my legs but I jump again, grabbing onto a chain above me, I pull the chain and let go pushing the vampire into the path of the falling weight. He screams out but doesn't make it in time, Fred smiles at me, handing me my stake and I smile in return.
I look over at Angel and he points at a girl standing with her back to us, I nod and run over to here, dodging arms and flying weapons aimed for my head. As I near the strange girl I hear her humming, and I frown as I recognise the tune.
// "Mother, mother, tell me true
what can grow without the dew
what can burn for years and years
what can cry but shed no tears"
"Goodnight my girls."
Mom's arms wrap tighter around us and she places a kiss on our heads, Dawn yawns while I close my eyes, Mom's humming lulling me to sleep.
"Mother, mother, tell me true
what can grow without the dew
what can burn for years and years
what can cry but shed no tears"//
I finally reach the strange girl and I walk towards her, reaching out my hand to turn her around but I stop as she speaks.
"Sister, dear sister."
"Who..what..are you talking about??"
"Don't you remember this voice, dear sister?"
Sister? What the fuck?
"The only sister I ever had, is dead."
"You're right there dear sister, but you're also wrong, yes she died not body but soul, the old Dawn is gone and there's a new one in her place. I'm so glad you could join the party Buffy, I've been waiting for you."
This can't be Dawn, Dawn is dead, I watched as the fire encompassed her body, I watched on helplessley, until I couldn't bear the smell of burning flesh any longer.
"You are *not* Dawn Summers."
She shakes her head and her long brown hair moves with her head, her hair, long and silky just like Dawn's, I remember all the times I used to play with it because it was so beautiful. No this is not Dawn.
"Sister, dear, dear, sister. How about I show you?"
She slowly turns around, but stops halfway and I feel my heart stop with her because half of Dawn's beautiful face is staring at me, the blue eyes, the pouty mouth, the cute little brown freckles // "At least a fly didn't poo on my face!!"
"It's not poo, they're freckles!"
"Yeah sure, whatever"
"I hate you Buffy!!"
"I hate you more!"//
I clutch my chest and stagger slightly, shaking my head, blinking as if that will erase this imposter from my vision, but she still stands there infront of me, Dawn, Dawnie, my sister, my sweet sweet sister.
"Bu...but..th-the..fire??"
She laughs and I feel tears sting my eyes as her laugh sounds like mine, hollow, dead.
"That's a funny story that, rather a painful story. Yes you saw me get eaten by the fire but if you'd stayed around for longer then you would've seen that it didn't get all of me and I managed to get out."
She turns around completely and I gasp as she pushes away her hair from the left side of her face, revealing burnt, disfigured, skin, she touches it, tears forming in her eyes and I look away dizzly, holding onto my stomach as if I'm trying to keep my insides in.
"All down the left side of my body, everywhere. I have to live with it everyday, the pain, the ugliness, I hate it, I hate you."
"Wha-what did I do?"
"It was all your fault!!"
"What is? I tried to save you! I did!"
"I see you've changed your look, did the guilt do that to you dear sister?"
"Guilt?"
"It *was* your fault I 'died'. If you hadn't have gotten involved with old Spikey boy then the whole 'fire incident' would never have happened."
"What do you mean?"
"You were always such an idiot dear sister, don't you ever wonder who started the fire?"
"I..I.."
"It was him, Spike, jealous ex-lover, usual story, loved you but you didn't love him, he got his chip out - without telling you of course - and decided to pay you back for how you treated him, which was pretty crap by the way."
Spike? How could he?!
"Oh you needn't worry about him dear sister, he's not around anymore, he was one of my first kills, don't look at me like that! He deserved it, he did after all, kill the old Dawn."
"I didn't know he was going to do that...I'm sorry...dawnie.."
She leans forward and mocks sympathy, gently stroking my face before her face twists into anger and she slaps me.
"You bitch! You're sorry?? It was all your fucken fault!! All of yours!! Do you remember how Anya died clutching her stomach, as if she was holding her unborn son's hand. Your. fault. bitch. You're so fucking stupid! Willow dying. your. fault. Xander. Giles. Tara. Me!!!!! You deserve to die, not me, not me, NOT ME!"
Her hands cover her ears and she screams, clutching at her hair, pulling it until she rips some of it out. Her eyes suddenly fly open and she breathes out heavily, chest heaving.
"Sorry about that, I have some...issues."
"Why didn't you come looking for me?"
"Why?? Were you not listening??!! Dawn died in that building, her feelings, her thoughts, all died along with her, why the fuck would I come looking for you?? Because we're 'sisters', whoopdee fucken shit, 'it's all about blood Dawnie'. I don't give a flying fuck, blood stains and it's useless, it doesn't save you, don't you remember how you had to die all because of stupid fucken blood??!!"
// "Live for me." \\
"What..are you?"
"I'm *still* the key of course, I'm still human, well at least I think so but I've learnt some moves, I'm stronger now dear sister and I'm here to bring hell on this godforsaken shit hole."
"What do you mean?"
She leans forward and she smirks at me, her wrinkled burnt skin, creasing and crinkling, I feel like I'm going to vomit.
"You'll find out soon. Stick around dear sister, it's going to be one hell of a ride."
She winks with her disfigured eye and I feel my stomach lurch, I fall to the ground and vomit, my head pounding and my heart aching. I hear her walk away and I roll away from my vomit, wiping my mouth and at the tears running down my face.
"Buffy? What happened? Are you okay? Buffy??"
I block the voices out and lie there sobbing, Dawn, Dawn, my sister, my blood, my beautiful sister, dead, gone, the new Dawn walking around in her grotesque body, hating me, like I hate myself. It's all my fault she died, all my fault everyone died because I should have been there protecting them. It was my duty, my job, my life and I failed, like I always do.
End of Part 8
*dun dun dun dun DUN* Whoa that was a long part! WAY longer than usual, so you like? The plot is thickening, don't expect it to get much happier, it's gonna stay angsty, B/A coming up ;) Feedback, I'm a slave for it!
Oh yeah, Dawn is alive but she's sort of crazy now so when she says it was you fault I died she's talking about the old Dawn, just like how Buffy has changed a lot.