AN: In this part they're doing the deed again lol But once again I don't go into much detail :)
AN2: I know I said that the next times I update I'll be adding 2 parts, I just haven't had the free time this time around. I've got so much work at school, I have the other chapters planned out but it's just a matter of getting the time to write them. So *please* don't send me e-mails demanding to know where the next part of the story is, I'm snowed in with work, I don't *always* have the time. A *huge* thank you to all of you who have given me feedback/reviews for this story, it is *greatly* appreciated! You all rock :D
AN3: // = Dreams
Stone Cold
Part 9 - Blood on the ground
Buffy P.O.V.
"Buffy? Who was that?"
Angel gently shakes me, I look up into his eyes and I just want to hide there, in those beautiful eyes, hide from this horrible world. Where everything is harsh and everywhere you go death is all around you.
"Buffy?"
"D...Dawn...it..w-w..was..Dawn"
The words feel thick in my mouth and I stumble and choke on them. Tears run down my face and Angel wipes away at them and it makes me cry even more because the person that I want to take comfort in, is taken and that hurts just as much as Dawn.
"Dawn? Alive?"
I nod my head dumbly and stand up shakily, leaning on Angel. I glance over at Faith and she glares at me so I push Angel away, making myself stumble but somehow still managing to stay upright.
"Dawn, she...said...s-s-something about..bringing hell to this town. She's b-bad...she hates me..."
Cordelia places a hand on my shoulder and smiles sympathetically -uncharacteristically- and my mind wanders to how Willow used to do that.
"Buffy, now's not the time to discuss this, why don't you come-"
"No. I've helped you, like I said I would, I want to go home, so I have to tell you now."
"But-"
"No."
Angel comes to stand next to me and I can feel the tears coming again, I move away from him and tell them what Dawn said. They all apologise and give me their sympathetic smiles and I want to yell at them, scream in anger at how they didn't even know her, so why should they apologise?! They didn't know that she liked peanut butter and cheese sandwhiches or how she used to be scared of the pictures on the bottom of pools. But I just block ther faces out and nod, not really listening, not really there at all.
I wipe at my face one last time, trying to compose myself, before I turn to leave.
"Buffy, wait."
"Angel, no. Goodbye."
Goodbye, so final, that's what you say at the end of something, is it really the end of us? He looks so hurt and I hate how because he's hurting, I'm hurting as well, but I turn away and run. Run from life, reality, him, leaving unsaid things between us as always, things like I love you.
Faith:
Angel yells out one more time, but she just keeps running. He sighs in defeat and I take his hand. He doesn't look down at me, he just keeps staring out after her longingly, even though she is long gone.
"Angel."
He finally looks down at me and my chest tightens at the look on his face. He still loves her, so much that he's probably oblivious to everything around him. And I'm jealous because he'll never love me like I love him, but I get it now, we're not meant to be, no matter how much I love him. I cup his cheek in my hand and smile at him.
"Go."
He looks at me puzzled and opens his mouth but I silence him with my finger to his lips. I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.
"Go after her."
He still stands there, mouth hanging open and wide eyed.
"Go. Be happy."
"Faith I am-"
"Not as happy as you can be. Now go."
He smiles that trademark half angel smile and I feel my knees go weak. He strokes my cheek and turns away, his hand - still in my grip - tugs at mine and I finally let go of it, of him. His coat billows around him as he walks off, I clench my fists and bite my tongue, trying to keep myself from screaming out and trying to plead for him to stay with me.
The fucken bitch better treasure what I've given her, the man that could get through the stone wall around my heart, the man that could make me, Faith the vampire slayer giggle. That's right giggle like a fucken school girl.
I hate her so much...no I don't hate her, I envy her, she always had everything and still bitched about it..I guess I would too if I - no way, I'm not gonna try and understand her, I don't like her, yeah, I hate that bitch.
Even though Angel has been gone for a while now I whisper I love you into the wind and I feel a warm hand entwine with mine. I look down at Connor and smile, he rubs my hand and I wanna break down and cry but I can't because I've got something to do. I've been dreaming about it for months, I didn't tell Angel because he would've freaked and probably not let me do it, but this is something I *have* to do. I've finally found my destiny, it's just a pity I have to die for it.
Buffy:
I curl up into a ball and stare at the faded photo of my sister. I trace my fingers over her smiling face and tears splash onto it, distorting her face, making her look like she does now. How could I let this happen? If only I hadn't have gotten involved with Spike, if only I hadn't been so goddamn blind, so fucken stupid...if only....if only...
Dawn was right, I *do* deserve to die, I'm not making much of this life anyway. I reach for the bottle of vodka and bring it to my lips, it slides down my throat, it burns but I can't really feel it, I've gotten used to it, it's as if my throat is permanently numb....just like my insides.
A shiver runs down my back and I feel a tug in my bones, it's him, he's here. Should I go to the door and let him in? No, we're over, done....if we are then why am I walking towards the door?!
As I reach for the door handle my hand shakes furiously, not nervously, but in anticipation of seeing him, of feeling him, of touching him. My skin is starting to itch for his cool soothing touch and all I want to do is kiss him and lose myself in him. It scares me, the power he has over me, I would do anything for him and I don't know if that's good or bad.
I open the door and he stands there stoically, as always, trying to keep his cool when his eyes tell a different story. The tears come again and instead of having that happy reunion I walk away and scowl at him.
"What do you want?"
"Can you invite me in?"
Should I? Should I risk it? I know that if I do, I won't be able to stop myself from pouncing on him and blubbering words of I love you and I need you.
"No."
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair....my mind wanders to earlier on in the day when we were making love and that hand was running through my hair and that mouth was whispering promises that can never happen and that....stop it, get a grip.
"Buffy, we need to talk."
"About?"
"What happened today....about us."
"I told you what happened today Angel and there is no us remember?"
"For fuck's sake Buffy, would you get over yourself and let me in, somehow I doubt that you brushed the events of today off so easily."
He nods toward the empty bottles on the bench. I look away ashamed and mumble the words he wants - and I want - to hear.
"Come in."
I expect him to smile triumphantly because he won me over again but he rushes in and takes me into his arms, I don't push away, I welcome his embrace and revell in it.
"Buffy, I love you and I want this to work....I want to start again with you."
Part of me is singing while another part of me is crying.
"Angel..w-we can't..too much-"
"We can start again, forget the past, concentrate on the future."
I want to believe him because it sounds so perfect but it's not that easy, nothing ever works out like we want it to.
"We can't forget about the past, it's too big, too much."
"Can't we try?"
I look into his eyes and I realise that he's winning me over once again, he has such a hold over me but what I never used to realise is that I have a hold over him.
"I-I-....love you Angel."
He smiles, that small smile and I feel my heart soar, maybe this will turn out, maybe it won't, but I want to try, to see if it does because this is something that means so much to me, it's something that is so big and so beautiful that I can't not try.
He leans down and kisses me, so, so gently, so, so sweetly, so, so lovingly. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss, but he pulls away and I almost groan at the loss of his touch.
"Buffy, we've got to talk about today."
I nod my head and sigh, talk....isn't that what we always do? He pulls a chair next to mine and we sit down.
"It's not your fault, you know that don't you?"
"But it is! If I hadn't have slept with Spike then my friends would still be alive...laughing...crying...smiling!! Dawn wouldn't be like she is and...I wouldn't be like this either!"
He leans forward and pulls me into his embrace once again.
"You didn't know that was going to happen. It's not your fault."
The tears come again and I sob in his arms. Sometimes I hate how weak I am around him, I fall into his arms so damn easily...maybe that's a good thing, maybe it's what I need.
"If only I hadn'-"
"Buffy, no more if only's, it's happened, it's done and now it's time to deal. Stop blaming yourself and move on, don't let it destroy you, you're so beautiful and amazing and I hate seeing you hurting like this."
I push away from Angel and look up into those eyes. God I love him. So much. Our love has it's happy moments, but it has its fair share of pain. And it's so amazing how I'll always end up going back to him. No matter what. In the end, we'll always be in each others arms.
"I love you Buffy."
"I love you."
He leans down and he kisses me again but more firecely this time, with more passion and fire.
"Wait-Angel....what about Faith?"
"She told me to go and be happy."
Lips on mine.
"So"
Kiss.
"Here I am"
Kiss.
"Being happy."
Love you.
I pull him down ontop of me and dig my nails into his back, pulling at the jersey that restricts me from touching -worshipping- that pale cool skin. I run my tongue along his bottom lip and wrap my legs tighter around his hips, pulling him as close as humanly possible.
His hands trace lazy circles on my stomach and his lips -oh those lips- kiss me gently everywhere, so lightly, hardly -barely- touching me, making me cry for more. I moan his name and he cries out mine in return and in the heat of the moment we're one, together, loving, wanting. needing. And I smile, my real smile because I haven't been this happy in so long.
As the afterglow settles and my eyelids beg to be closed I smile again because I feel so alive and the outside world doesn't matter right now, nothing does, it will again soon, but for now I can just lie here in my lover's arms and sleep.
// I feel a strong hand land on my shoulder and it turns me around - the scenery around me blurring into one, until I can't tell what's what.
She smirks at me and squeezes my shoulder, her hair -like raven's feathers- falls around her face, gently blowing in the wind.
"Faith."
It's weird, we can't get along in real life but in our dreams, everything is forgotten.
"Buffy."
She winks at me and looks out at our view.
"Better look after him B, he tries to act all macho and tough but he's really just a big crybaby."
We laugh together -the first time since forever- and I step forward taking her hand in mine because we're sisters, maybe not by blood, but by our duty.
"I've gotta go soon, haven't got much time."
"Where are you going?"
"Just away somewhere...."
"But where? I don't want you to go."
She turns to me and smiles, reaching out and pushing a strand of hair out of my face.
"You look better blonde Buff, only *I* suit the dark colour."
We laugh again and it feels like old times...even though those old times weren't so great. She leans forward and whispers in my ear.
"It's a long way to fall Buffy, maybe that's not the best way to go. Always remember the red you share means something."
"You're good at this cryptic stuff."
She shrugs her shoulders and smirks. Suddenly her eyes widen in surprise and she clutches her chest, blood soaks through her white mid-driff shirt and drips down her stomach. I reach out to grab her out stretched hand but when I blink she's gone and in her place is Angel.
"Hello lover."
He purrs and before I know it, I'm lying on a bed and he's hovering over me, smirking down at me and his eyes -dark, deep, mysterious- are filled with raw passion and lust and I know that mine are reflecting the same.
His hands wrap around my arms and as I realise that it's Angelus his grip tightens but I don't scream -or make a sound- I smile up at him and he leans down, kissing me roughly -biting, sucking, nipping- and I groan into his mouth.
He loosens his grip on my arms and falls ontop of me -crushing, squashing- but I don't complain because I love it when he's ontop of me, feeling his weight pressing down on me. I lean up to his ear as he kisses my neck and whisper seductively in his ear.
"Make me yours."
I close my eyes and his fangs sink easily into my skin, he drinks greedily and the darkness calls to me so I give in and my eyes close.
Angel. Mom. Dawn. Willow. Xander. Giles. Anya. Tara. Oz. Spike. Riley. Cordelia. Wesely. Faith. Darla. Kendra. Drusilla. Vampire. Demon. Slayer. Bad. Good. Love. Passion. Loss. Pain. Lust. Hope. Death. Danger. Fight. Kill. Forever, isn't that the whole point? //
I wake up startled and as my eyes adjust to the darkness I search frantically for Angel's hand between the sheets. I grip onto his hand and I lie down on his chest, his -strong, solid- arms instantly wrap around me but he stays asleep.
What does the dream mean? I don't understand what Faith wants me to do....is Angel going to lose his soul? Is he going to kill me? Is Faith going to die.....I wish Giles was here.
Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep.
Angel stirrs and mumbles something about his cellphone but before I can ask him where it is he's drifted off to sleep again, I can't help but smile, he looks so damn cute, hair sticking up in all sorts of directions, slight frown, god I love this man.
I reach into his coat pocket and pull out his phone, I walk into the kitchen and flick the light on but stop halfway to the sink as I read the message. My heart stops beating and my hands go cold.
'It's Faith. Come now. Bring Buffy.'
What do they mean it's Faith?
End of Part 9
Whew that was a long part, yup another cliff hanger-ish ending, hope you all liked it, B/A goodnees :D As I always say feedback want.love.need. so send it on in! I have no idea when the next part will be up, maybe this weekend, maybe next week....sorry everybody :(
AN2: I know I said that the next times I update I'll be adding 2 parts, I just haven't had the free time this time around. I've got so much work at school, I have the other chapters planned out but it's just a matter of getting the time to write them. So *please* don't send me e-mails demanding to know where the next part of the story is, I'm snowed in with work, I don't *always* have the time. A *huge* thank you to all of you who have given me feedback/reviews for this story, it is *greatly* appreciated! You all rock :D
AN3: // = Dreams
Stone Cold
Part 9 - Blood on the ground
Buffy P.O.V.
"Buffy? Who was that?"
Angel gently shakes me, I look up into his eyes and I just want to hide there, in those beautiful eyes, hide from this horrible world. Where everything is harsh and everywhere you go death is all around you.
"Buffy?"
"D...Dawn...it..w-w..was..Dawn"
The words feel thick in my mouth and I stumble and choke on them. Tears run down my face and Angel wipes away at them and it makes me cry even more because the person that I want to take comfort in, is taken and that hurts just as much as Dawn.
"Dawn? Alive?"
I nod my head dumbly and stand up shakily, leaning on Angel. I glance over at Faith and she glares at me so I push Angel away, making myself stumble but somehow still managing to stay upright.
"Dawn, she...said...s-s-something about..bringing hell to this town. She's b-bad...she hates me..."
Cordelia places a hand on my shoulder and smiles sympathetically -uncharacteristically- and my mind wanders to how Willow used to do that.
"Buffy, now's not the time to discuss this, why don't you come-"
"No. I've helped you, like I said I would, I want to go home, so I have to tell you now."
"But-"
"No."
Angel comes to stand next to me and I can feel the tears coming again, I move away from him and tell them what Dawn said. They all apologise and give me their sympathetic smiles and I want to yell at them, scream in anger at how they didn't even know her, so why should they apologise?! They didn't know that she liked peanut butter and cheese sandwhiches or how she used to be scared of the pictures on the bottom of pools. But I just block ther faces out and nod, not really listening, not really there at all.
I wipe at my face one last time, trying to compose myself, before I turn to leave.
"Buffy, wait."
"Angel, no. Goodbye."
Goodbye, so final, that's what you say at the end of something, is it really the end of us? He looks so hurt and I hate how because he's hurting, I'm hurting as well, but I turn away and run. Run from life, reality, him, leaving unsaid things between us as always, things like I love you.
Faith:
Angel yells out one more time, but she just keeps running. He sighs in defeat and I take his hand. He doesn't look down at me, he just keeps staring out after her longingly, even though she is long gone.
"Angel."
He finally looks down at me and my chest tightens at the look on his face. He still loves her, so much that he's probably oblivious to everything around him. And I'm jealous because he'll never love me like I love him, but I get it now, we're not meant to be, no matter how much I love him. I cup his cheek in my hand and smile at him.
"Go."
He looks at me puzzled and opens his mouth but I silence him with my finger to his lips. I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.
"Go after her."
He still stands there, mouth hanging open and wide eyed.
"Go. Be happy."
"Faith I am-"
"Not as happy as you can be. Now go."
He smiles that trademark half angel smile and I feel my knees go weak. He strokes my cheek and turns away, his hand - still in my grip - tugs at mine and I finally let go of it, of him. His coat billows around him as he walks off, I clench my fists and bite my tongue, trying to keep myself from screaming out and trying to plead for him to stay with me.
The fucken bitch better treasure what I've given her, the man that could get through the stone wall around my heart, the man that could make me, Faith the vampire slayer giggle. That's right giggle like a fucken school girl.
I hate her so much...no I don't hate her, I envy her, she always had everything and still bitched about it..I guess I would too if I - no way, I'm not gonna try and understand her, I don't like her, yeah, I hate that bitch.
Even though Angel has been gone for a while now I whisper I love you into the wind and I feel a warm hand entwine with mine. I look down at Connor and smile, he rubs my hand and I wanna break down and cry but I can't because I've got something to do. I've been dreaming about it for months, I didn't tell Angel because he would've freaked and probably not let me do it, but this is something I *have* to do. I've finally found my destiny, it's just a pity I have to die for it.
Buffy:
I curl up into a ball and stare at the faded photo of my sister. I trace my fingers over her smiling face and tears splash onto it, distorting her face, making her look like she does now. How could I let this happen? If only I hadn't have gotten involved with Spike, if only I hadn't been so goddamn blind, so fucken stupid...if only....if only...
Dawn was right, I *do* deserve to die, I'm not making much of this life anyway. I reach for the bottle of vodka and bring it to my lips, it slides down my throat, it burns but I can't really feel it, I've gotten used to it, it's as if my throat is permanently numb....just like my insides.
A shiver runs down my back and I feel a tug in my bones, it's him, he's here. Should I go to the door and let him in? No, we're over, done....if we are then why am I walking towards the door?!
As I reach for the door handle my hand shakes furiously, not nervously, but in anticipation of seeing him, of feeling him, of touching him. My skin is starting to itch for his cool soothing touch and all I want to do is kiss him and lose myself in him. It scares me, the power he has over me, I would do anything for him and I don't know if that's good or bad.
I open the door and he stands there stoically, as always, trying to keep his cool when his eyes tell a different story. The tears come again and instead of having that happy reunion I walk away and scowl at him.
"What do you want?"
"Can you invite me in?"
Should I? Should I risk it? I know that if I do, I won't be able to stop myself from pouncing on him and blubbering words of I love you and I need you.
"No."
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair....my mind wanders to earlier on in the day when we were making love and that hand was running through my hair and that mouth was whispering promises that can never happen and that....stop it, get a grip.
"Buffy, we need to talk."
"About?"
"What happened today....about us."
"I told you what happened today Angel and there is no us remember?"
"For fuck's sake Buffy, would you get over yourself and let me in, somehow I doubt that you brushed the events of today off so easily."
He nods toward the empty bottles on the bench. I look away ashamed and mumble the words he wants - and I want - to hear.
"Come in."
I expect him to smile triumphantly because he won me over again but he rushes in and takes me into his arms, I don't push away, I welcome his embrace and revell in it.
"Buffy, I love you and I want this to work....I want to start again with you."
Part of me is singing while another part of me is crying.
"Angel..w-we can't..too much-"
"We can start again, forget the past, concentrate on the future."
I want to believe him because it sounds so perfect but it's not that easy, nothing ever works out like we want it to.
"We can't forget about the past, it's too big, too much."
"Can't we try?"
I look into his eyes and I realise that he's winning me over once again, he has such a hold over me but what I never used to realise is that I have a hold over him.
"I-I-....love you Angel."
He smiles, that small smile and I feel my heart soar, maybe this will turn out, maybe it won't, but I want to try, to see if it does because this is something that means so much to me, it's something that is so big and so beautiful that I can't not try.
He leans down and kisses me, so, so gently, so, so sweetly, so, so lovingly. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss, but he pulls away and I almost groan at the loss of his touch.
"Buffy, we've got to talk about today."
I nod my head and sigh, talk....isn't that what we always do? He pulls a chair next to mine and we sit down.
"It's not your fault, you know that don't you?"
"But it is! If I hadn't have slept with Spike then my friends would still be alive...laughing...crying...smiling!! Dawn wouldn't be like she is and...I wouldn't be like this either!"
He leans forward and pulls me into his embrace once again.
"You didn't know that was going to happen. It's not your fault."
The tears come again and I sob in his arms. Sometimes I hate how weak I am around him, I fall into his arms so damn easily...maybe that's a good thing, maybe it's what I need.
"If only I hadn'-"
"Buffy, no more if only's, it's happened, it's done and now it's time to deal. Stop blaming yourself and move on, don't let it destroy you, you're so beautiful and amazing and I hate seeing you hurting like this."
I push away from Angel and look up into those eyes. God I love him. So much. Our love has it's happy moments, but it has its fair share of pain. And it's so amazing how I'll always end up going back to him. No matter what. In the end, we'll always be in each others arms.
"I love you Buffy."
"I love you."
He leans down and he kisses me again but more firecely this time, with more passion and fire.
"Wait-Angel....what about Faith?"
"She told me to go and be happy."
Lips on mine.
"So"
Kiss.
"Here I am"
Kiss.
"Being happy."
Love you.
I pull him down ontop of me and dig my nails into his back, pulling at the jersey that restricts me from touching -worshipping- that pale cool skin. I run my tongue along his bottom lip and wrap my legs tighter around his hips, pulling him as close as humanly possible.
His hands trace lazy circles on my stomach and his lips -oh those lips- kiss me gently everywhere, so lightly, hardly -barely- touching me, making me cry for more. I moan his name and he cries out mine in return and in the heat of the moment we're one, together, loving, wanting. needing. And I smile, my real smile because I haven't been this happy in so long.
As the afterglow settles and my eyelids beg to be closed I smile again because I feel so alive and the outside world doesn't matter right now, nothing does, it will again soon, but for now I can just lie here in my lover's arms and sleep.
// I feel a strong hand land on my shoulder and it turns me around - the scenery around me blurring into one, until I can't tell what's what.
She smirks at me and squeezes my shoulder, her hair -like raven's feathers- falls around her face, gently blowing in the wind.
"Faith."
It's weird, we can't get along in real life but in our dreams, everything is forgotten.
"Buffy."
She winks at me and looks out at our view.
"Better look after him B, he tries to act all macho and tough but he's really just a big crybaby."
We laugh together -the first time since forever- and I step forward taking her hand in mine because we're sisters, maybe not by blood, but by our duty.
"I've gotta go soon, haven't got much time."
"Where are you going?"
"Just away somewhere...."
"But where? I don't want you to go."
She turns to me and smiles, reaching out and pushing a strand of hair out of my face.
"You look better blonde Buff, only *I* suit the dark colour."
We laugh again and it feels like old times...even though those old times weren't so great. She leans forward and whispers in my ear.
"It's a long way to fall Buffy, maybe that's not the best way to go. Always remember the red you share means something."
"You're good at this cryptic stuff."
She shrugs her shoulders and smirks. Suddenly her eyes widen in surprise and she clutches her chest, blood soaks through her white mid-driff shirt and drips down her stomach. I reach out to grab her out stretched hand but when I blink she's gone and in her place is Angel.
"Hello lover."
He purrs and before I know it, I'm lying on a bed and he's hovering over me, smirking down at me and his eyes -dark, deep, mysterious- are filled with raw passion and lust and I know that mine are reflecting the same.
His hands wrap around my arms and as I realise that it's Angelus his grip tightens but I don't scream -or make a sound- I smile up at him and he leans down, kissing me roughly -biting, sucking, nipping- and I groan into his mouth.
He loosens his grip on my arms and falls ontop of me -crushing, squashing- but I don't complain because I love it when he's ontop of me, feeling his weight pressing down on me. I lean up to his ear as he kisses my neck and whisper seductively in his ear.
"Make me yours."
I close my eyes and his fangs sink easily into my skin, he drinks greedily and the darkness calls to me so I give in and my eyes close.
Angel. Mom. Dawn. Willow. Xander. Giles. Anya. Tara. Oz. Spike. Riley. Cordelia. Wesely. Faith. Darla. Kendra. Drusilla. Vampire. Demon. Slayer. Bad. Good. Love. Passion. Loss. Pain. Lust. Hope. Death. Danger. Fight. Kill. Forever, isn't that the whole point? //
I wake up startled and as my eyes adjust to the darkness I search frantically for Angel's hand between the sheets. I grip onto his hand and I lie down on his chest, his -strong, solid- arms instantly wrap around me but he stays asleep.
What does the dream mean? I don't understand what Faith wants me to do....is Angel going to lose his soul? Is he going to kill me? Is Faith going to die.....I wish Giles was here.
Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep.
Angel stirrs and mumbles something about his cellphone but before I can ask him where it is he's drifted off to sleep again, I can't help but smile, he looks so damn cute, hair sticking up in all sorts of directions, slight frown, god I love this man.
I reach into his coat pocket and pull out his phone, I walk into the kitchen and flick the light on but stop halfway to the sink as I read the message. My heart stops beating and my hands go cold.
'It's Faith. Come now. Bring Buffy.'
What do they mean it's Faith?
End of Part 9
Whew that was a long part, yup another cliff hanger-ish ending, hope you all liked it, B/A goodnees :D As I always say feedback want.love.need. so send it on in! I have no idea when the next part will be up, maybe this weekend, maybe next week....sorry everybody :(