Rogue's not the only one feeling lost, even if she seems to have gotten over it now.
I am too but for a very different reason. No, lost isn't the word. Completely
dazed, baffled and uncoherant is more like it.
I simply just do not get it. Why would she be interested in me of all people? I Know
what people say about me when I'm not around. You know, "Oh, Scott's a very good and
reliable friend". The kind of reliable friend you wouldn't be caught dead with
at a party since said friend has the reputation of beeing too boring and too uptight
to even be invited there. Well, unless you want a party-pooper around that is. Oh, and
the kinda guy that no woman within her right state of mind would want to be involved
with, Jean and Abby being the exceptions. I know I'm not like that but it's the image
I have. In a way I've only myself to blame but I needed that image when I first became
a teacher here or the students wouldn't take me seriously. Or that's what I told
myself and it seemed to be working. Bobby didn't pull as many pranks in my classes
as he did in Jean's or Ororo's anyway but boy would he have been surprised if he
had known that I had a reputation as a prankster when I was in high-school!
Where was I? I lost my train of thought somewhere. Oh, yeah. Why would Rogue be
interested in me? Apart from what I already said, there's Jean too. Since Rogue
first came here, I've been with Jean. Why would she be interested in an engaged
man? And where does Logan fit into all of this?
I must have mulled it over for too long though because the next thing I know is
seeing Rogue waving her hands infront of my eyes saying "Earth to Scott. Do you
copy?" with laughter in her voice and eyes.
"Sorry. I got lost in thought there for a while."
"Over what?"
What do I answer to that? Well, I don't need to think that through much because my mouth
goes wandering off on its own.
"Well, you. And what you just said. I was kinda wondering why you said what you just did."
"Why didn't you just ask then, silly. Because I like you of course. Why else would I say
it?"
"But...but...I thought you wanted Logan". Really smooth Summers.
She just smiles before answering. "I did too. For awhile, but it never would have worked
out no matter if he would have wanted that too or not. He's too restless to stay in one
place or in one relationship for long and that's really not what I want, you know? And
even if it had been, it's too late for that now anyway. He's not coming back. I know
him, probably better than he knows himself and I'm quite sure about that even if he
tried to tell me that he would. Just a lie. A lie he believed in himself. I'm
babbling, ain't I?" She laughed out at that and I could only smile back, relieved that
she was so honest with me and more importantly, to herself.
"But why me? There's plenty of guys around here like Remy, Bobby, Warren or John. Why the
guy with the reputation of being a bore?"
"They're not you. Easy as that, and we're friends already so I know you. You're not a bore.
A bit too unsure of yourself perhaps. So what do you say, wanna take a chance on me?" she
says before leaning over, giving me a kiss and the surprise of my life!
"I would, I mean I want, I. Ah, forget it. Yes will do. But you're forgetting Jean, Rogue."
"Marie. And what about Jean?"
Marie. I never knew her name before. Marie kinda fits her.
"Well, I am engaged to her."
"Yeah, but you don't really want to be with her anymore do you? You said so a few minutes
ago and well, I can see through you in that matter. You haven't in a long time, have you?
Even before I knew you. You may have fooled yourself before but I won't let you. You will
never be happy if you cling too something just out of familiarity, and neither will Jean. Or
me."
"Well, you're right. But I still don't wanna hurt her."
"I'm sorry and I don't want to sound cold, but you already have done that. I know you didn't mean
too but she's already hurting."
I can only sigh because I know all too well that she's right. "I know"
"So what are you gonna do?"
"I wish I knew."
I am too but for a very different reason. No, lost isn't the word. Completely
dazed, baffled and uncoherant is more like it.
I simply just do not get it. Why would she be interested in me of all people? I Know
what people say about me when I'm not around. You know, "Oh, Scott's a very good and
reliable friend". The kind of reliable friend you wouldn't be caught dead with
at a party since said friend has the reputation of beeing too boring and too uptight
to even be invited there. Well, unless you want a party-pooper around that is. Oh, and
the kinda guy that no woman within her right state of mind would want to be involved
with, Jean and Abby being the exceptions. I know I'm not like that but it's the image
I have. In a way I've only myself to blame but I needed that image when I first became
a teacher here or the students wouldn't take me seriously. Or that's what I told
myself and it seemed to be working. Bobby didn't pull as many pranks in my classes
as he did in Jean's or Ororo's anyway but boy would he have been surprised if he
had known that I had a reputation as a prankster when I was in high-school!
Where was I? I lost my train of thought somewhere. Oh, yeah. Why would Rogue be
interested in me? Apart from what I already said, there's Jean too. Since Rogue
first came here, I've been with Jean. Why would she be interested in an engaged
man? And where does Logan fit into all of this?
I must have mulled it over for too long though because the next thing I know is
seeing Rogue waving her hands infront of my eyes saying "Earth to Scott. Do you
copy?" with laughter in her voice and eyes.
"Sorry. I got lost in thought there for a while."
"Over what?"
What do I answer to that? Well, I don't need to think that through much because my mouth
goes wandering off on its own.
"Well, you. And what you just said. I was kinda wondering why you said what you just did."
"Why didn't you just ask then, silly. Because I like you of course. Why else would I say
it?"
"But...but...I thought you wanted Logan". Really smooth Summers.
She just smiles before answering. "I did too. For awhile, but it never would have worked
out no matter if he would have wanted that too or not. He's too restless to stay in one
place or in one relationship for long and that's really not what I want, you know? And
even if it had been, it's too late for that now anyway. He's not coming back. I know
him, probably better than he knows himself and I'm quite sure about that even if he
tried to tell me that he would. Just a lie. A lie he believed in himself. I'm
babbling, ain't I?" She laughed out at that and I could only smile back, relieved that
she was so honest with me and more importantly, to herself.
"But why me? There's plenty of guys around here like Remy, Bobby, Warren or John. Why the
guy with the reputation of being a bore?"
"They're not you. Easy as that, and we're friends already so I know you. You're not a bore.
A bit too unsure of yourself perhaps. So what do you say, wanna take a chance on me?" she
says before leaning over, giving me a kiss and the surprise of my life!
"I would, I mean I want, I. Ah, forget it. Yes will do. But you're forgetting Jean, Rogue."
"Marie. And what about Jean?"
Marie. I never knew her name before. Marie kinda fits her.
"Well, I am engaged to her."
"Yeah, but you don't really want to be with her anymore do you? You said so a few minutes
ago and well, I can see through you in that matter. You haven't in a long time, have you?
Even before I knew you. You may have fooled yourself before but I won't let you. You will
never be happy if you cling too something just out of familiarity, and neither will Jean. Or
me."
"Well, you're right. But I still don't wanna hurt her."
"I'm sorry and I don't want to sound cold, but you already have done that. I know you didn't mean
too but she's already hurting."
I can only sigh because I know all too well that she's right. "I know"
"So what are you gonna do?"
"I wish I knew."