Remember Me This Way
Disclaimer: All recognizable Star Wars characters belong to George Lucas. Any other characters are mine, and may not be used without my permission. The song Remember Me This Way belongs to Jordan Hill and the people who made the movie Casper.
Summery: After the events of The Phantom Menace, a mysterious figure silently watches Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Time Frame: Right after TPM.
Author's Note: If you want to borrow any of my characters, please drop me a email at phoenixqueen101@yahoo.com, telling me who you are, and how you plan to use my characters. If you receive a nice email back, you have my permission to use my characters.
Note: Anything in "…" is normal speech. Anything in italics is lyrics from the song. /…/ indicates bond talk, and … indicates private thoughts.
It was late at night in the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight, sat in his room in his quarters. Or, more precisely, he sat in the room that until a few days ago had belonged to his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. The room was now Obi-Wan's, and Obi-Wan's apprentice Anakin Skywalker was asleep in Obi-Wan's old room. Obi-Wan was thinking. The last few days had taken a toll on him. Going to Naboo, fighting the Sith, watching Qui-Gon die, killing the Sith, being Knighted, taking a Padawan… it had all happened so fast.
Obi-Wan sighed. If only I had run faster or not fallen of the catwalk, Master Qui-Gon would still be alive. Obi-Wan went over to the bed, and curled up under the blankets, even though he knew he would no be able to fall asleep. Unknown and silent, however, a tall figure stood watching the young Knight in a corner of the room.
Every now and then,
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down.
Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn's heart was troubled as he watched his Padawan toss fitfully in the large bed. The Master might be one with the Force, but that was no comfort to the young man in front of Qui-Gon.
Oh, my Obi-Wan is that what you think? That this is all your fault? It was my time, my Padawan. I wish I could tell you this, to ease your heart.
Who understands it all Reaches out each time we fallWe've been through so much, and we've always been there for each other. I'm still with you, my Obi-Wan. I'll never leave you.
You're the best friend that I've found.
And I know that you can't stay, but
Part of you will never ever go away.
Your heart will stay.
All that night, Qui-Gon Jinn watched Obi-Wan toss and turn. He wanted to go and comfort him, but he was now of the spirit world, not the physical world, so there was no way he could help Obi-Wan.
When morning came, Obi-Wan rose and took Anakin to the Room of a Thousand Fountains for his first training lesson. Qui-Gon followed, invisible and silent still. Obi-Wan and Anakin sat down on the grass, and Obi-Wan began to instruct Anakin in meditation. Master Jinn went and sat down on a bench within sight of the unlikely pair.
His Padawan, and the boy that only Qui-Gon had believed in.
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind.
"Surprised to see you here, I am Qui-Gon." A gravelly voice from the Jedi Master's feet spoke up. The Master jumped in surprise, and glanced down at the ground. Standing there was his former Master, Yoda, squinting up at him. Yoda could see ghosts?
"Master Yoda? How can you see me? I'm one with the Force now."
"Hmmph. Know you too well I do Qui-Gon. When 840 years old you reach, learn things you do. Know that very well you do."
"Oh, I see."
"Hmmph. Bad liar you are Qui-Gon." Then Yoda's expression softened. "Worried about your apprentice you are."
"I left him so abruptly that I think I damaged him emotionally, Master. My last words were a request for him to train Anakin. I never told him how much the years that we spent together meant to me."
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember Me This Way.
"Knows he does Qui-Gon." Yoda's voice was soft with understanding. Qui-Gon could see that Yoda was trying to make him feel better about the separation from his Padawan.
"Does he? The why did he spend all night tossing and turning? He is consumed by guilt and sorrow, just as I was after the Dark Apprentice. He blames himself for my death Master Yoda."
Yoda raised his gimmer stick as if to knock some sense into his former apprentice, then seemed to remember that he was speaking to an immaterial ghost. Qui-Gon grinned to himself. Now he was forever spared from that sometimes annoying stick. His Master could never hit him with it again.
"Tell him the truth you will not, Qui-Gon?"
"How can I, Master? I am a ghost, a member of the spirit world. As good as Obi-Wan is, I never taught him to see ghosts."
"Matter that does not. Love and loyalty cross all boundaries they do. Even death."
"What do you mean, Master Yoda? Can I really speak to Obi-Wan again?"
The Master's heart was racing. If he could actually speak to Obi-Wan again…
A chance to make things right between them…
Remember Me This Way"Find out for yourself you will." With that cryptic comment, the tiny Master turned and hobbled away, leaving Qui-Gon staring after him. As he pondered Yoda's words, he turned his gaze back to his Padawan. The young man was in a meditation trance, and unaware that he was being watched he was projecting feelings of love, and fighting feelings of guilt, sorrow, and responsibility.
I don't need eyes to seeThe love you bring to me
No matter where I go.
If it was possible, how could he communicate with Obi-Wan? Who would tell him, who would know? Yoda had been cryptic as usual, so that avenue was out. Possibly… the ancient Masters who had already passed into the Force? Qui-Gon wanted to stay near his apprentice, but he had to know, and to gain knowledge often involved taking the first step. Rising, he turned away from the sight of his apprentice and Anakin, glancing back once. I will gain the knowledge I seek, Padawan. I will return to you soon. He moved off, to start his journey.
Obi-Wan slowly came out his meditation, and with a light touch on the training bond that he shared with Anakin, brought the young boy out of his own meditation. Obi-Wan realized that it would take a lot of work to make this boy into a respectable Jedi, and that if he could deepen their bond to even a fraction of the bond he had shared with his Master, that would go a long way toward improving their chances.
"Are you ready to go Anakin? We need to begin your physical training as well." The boy nodded and as he rose to his feet, Obi-Wan noted that he was trying to mimic Obi-Wan's own movements. As they moved of toward the training rooms, they passed some of the many benches in the gardens. As they passed one, Obi-Wan subconsciously noted Yoda's signature near it, but the other signature took him by surprise. It felt like… "Master?" The word was spoken under his breath, and Obi-Wan noted that he had stopped dead. Then he noted that Anakin had stopped too, in curiosity at his Master's strange behavior. Obi-Wan shook his head, and moved off, thinking that he needed more meditation later, as his desire to see, and his sense of loss of, his Master was bordering on obsession. They continued towards the training rooms without further delay.
Qui-Gon had stopped when he observed his Padawan's strange behavior. Why had he acted like that? Had Obi-Wan sensed him? No, or he wouldn't have moved off. Obi-Wan would have stayed and tried to figure out what was going on. So what was the reason behind the strange actions?
"Love, and the Force, Master Jinn." Turning at the unexpected voice, Qui-Gon saw a slender, but unfamiliar, dark-haired woman moving towards him. He had never seen her around the Temple, and she was obviously a ghost, because she was enveloped by a glowing blue light that reminded him of Obi-Wan's lightsaber. He bowed as she approached, but spoke to her as well. "Who are you? I am afraid that I do not understand your words."
"It is not surprising that you do not know me, for we have never met. My name is Jedi Master Arwenna Odette Luna. I have been one with the Force for 500 years. I was sent by the ancient Masters to be your guide during this transition time. As to what I mean, the answer to your question is as simple as love and as complex as the Force."
"Master Luna, I am afraid you are being almost as cryptic as Master Yoda."
Qui-Gon received a dazzling smile from the young lady, who obviously wasn't young at all if she had been a ghost for 500 years! "Please call me Arwenna. Now to answer your question, is your bond with your apprentice stronger than a simple training bond?"
"Of course. Obi-Wan and I have been through so much that our bond has deepened and strengthened to the point where we are almost like a father and son, although there is no blood connection between us."
"I thought as much. Your bond, at that level, allows you to sense each other clearly, and never goes away completely, even after death. All Jedi, whether they be ghosts or living, have there own Force signature, and by sitting on that bench, you temporarily imprinted your signature onto the bench. When Obi-Wan walked by, he sensed your signature, the same as he did in life. One of the many mysteries of the Force."
Qui-Gon stood silently pondering this, and sorting out his many questions and ideas, when one thought occurred to him. If Master Luna had been a ghost for 500 years then maybe… "Arwenna, do you know if it is possible for me to speak to my Padawan again. When I was dying, there was so much left unfinished between us that I am afraid that I damaged him emotionally, and I would like to clear up any misunderstandings between us."
"Yes, Qui-Gon it is possible to communicate. Obviously what Master Yoda did, talking to you while you were invisible, is not something every Jedi can do. To speak to Obi-Wan, you only need to will yourself into being visible in front of him, or anyone else you would like to speak to. However, if you do this, you will only have one hour of visibility, or else there would be nothing to stop those who are one with the Force from remaining forever, which is not the point. Last night I was watching you, and at one point you actually were visible, but neither you or Obi-Wan realized it. Most Jedi choose not to reveal themselves, in order to get through the transition and adjustment time faster, but I sense that it will be different with you and your apprentice."
And I know that you'll be thereForever more a part of me
You're everywhere.
I'll always care.
"Arwenna, I made my apprentice promise to train Anakin as I lay dying. Did I make a mistake? Is he the Chosen One, or did I just adopt another 'pathetic life form' as Obi-Wan always says?"
"No Qui-Gon, you were right, but you were also wrong. Anakin Skywalker is the Chosen One, and he will bring balance, just not the way that you believe. The longer you are one with the Force, the more that the ancient Masters reveal to you about the future. Soon, you'll see what I mean. Obi-Wan was chosen to defeat the Sith, Darth Maul, because it is part of his destiny. However, Obi-Wan also will play another key role in his life, but not for many years yet. He will have to endure hardships and suffering still."
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind.
"Thank you Arwenna. Tonight I will sort all of this out with Obi-Wan."
"Yes, but Qui-Gon, you must not tell him what I have just told you about his destiny. You may tell him that it was your time and that Anakin is the Chosen One, but anything else you tell him can only refer to the past, not the future. If you choose to talk to Anakin as well, then you need to make sure that you don't even tell him that he is the Chosen One. You must be very careful, for the future is constantly in motion, and by revealing too much you may change it for the worst." Qui-Gon nodded. "Very well. When you are ready I will return as your guide. Good luck, Qui-Gon, and may the Force be with you." As she spoke, the Jedi Master turned and walked away, fading from sight.
Qui-Gon followed his apprentice and Anakin to the training rooms. When he found them, Obi-Wan was in the process of showing his Padawan some simple athletic jumps and leaps. Anakin picked up on them rapidly, and Obi-Wan moved on to more difficult maneuvers. When they were finished, Anakin looked tired, and maybe a little sore. Qui-Gon remembered that Obi-Wan used to look the same way after one of their training sessions. The Obi-Wan asked Anakin to wait along the wall and catch his breath while Obi-Wan went through his lightsaber drills and exercises. Anakin moved off obediently. Obi-Wan pulled out his lightsaber, and an emerald-green blade flashed on. Qui-Gon was startled. Obi-Wan was using his Master's lightsaber. Where was Obi-Wan's? Straining his memory, he seemed to recall Obi-Wan being forced into the melting pit, then hearing the clank of something metal bouncing off the sides of the pit.
As Qui-Gon watched, the young Knight moved confidently and deftly through the difficult exercises. There were almost no flaws in his performance, and as Qui-Gon glanced over at Anakin, the young boy's eyes were wide with excitement and awe. Soon after, Obi-Wan declared that the lessons were over for the day, and that it was time to return to their quarters so that Anakin could begin catching up on basic book assignments.
The day passed swiftly for Qui-Gon, and he stayed nearby all day. When night fell, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and the invisible Master were back in their quarters. As Qui-Gon stood off to one side of the room, behind Obi-Wan, the other two sat up talking, trying to get to know each other better. Then Anakin asked a very interesting question. "Master Obi-Wan, what was Master Qui-Gon like when you knew him?" Qui-Gon was interested to hear the response, and as the silence stretched for a few seconds, he wondered if Obi-Wan would even answer. The Obi-Wan spoke.
"Well Anakin, that is a complicated answer, because my Master was a complicated person. When I first met Qui-Gon, I was 13, and was about to be sent to become a farmer on Bandomeer. I was desperate to become a Jedi, but if an Initiate is not chosen by age 13, they are sent to Bandomeer. I fought against a boy named Bruck, who had been a huge bully to me for years, while Master Qui-Gon watched, and I defeated him. I thought that he would accept me, but he refused. I begged him to reconsider, because he was my last hope, but he wouldn't take me. He had been hurt by his last apprentice, who betrayed him and went over to the Dark Side, and Qui-Gon was afraid to take another apprentice, afraid of another betrayal. Finally, after I saved his life on Bandomeer when we both ended up there, he accepted me has his Padawan. We went through many difficulties over the years, and seemed to have a knack for getting into problems involving fighting, pain, torture, separation, and more pain… But our bond became stronger with every hurdle we overcame, and when he died we were connected deeply enough that I considered him to be my father."
Now was the perfect time. Qui-Gon spoke as he made himself visible. "And you are like my son, my Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan's reaction was very interesting. He froze in disbelief, and then slowly turned to face Qui-Gon. His eyes, an expressive blue-green color, mirrored his shock, hope, disbelief, and love. When he spoke, his voice was shaky. "Master, Master Qui-Gon?"
Qui-Gon walked around to the other side of the chair so that he was facing Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan." Then he glanced over at Anakin, who looked on in disbelief. Glancing back at Obi-Wan, he decided to get Anakin out of the room first, and then he could speak privately to Obi-Wan. "Anakin, will you leave us alone for a few minutes? I will speak to you later okay?" The boy nodded and stood up, but he was acting with instincts, because he was still startled with this surprise. After he left the room, Qui-Gon turned back to his Padawan. "Obi-Wan we have to talk. I am so sorry Padawan, can you forgive me for what happened on Naboo?"
"Master." Obi-Wan rose shakily out of the chair and attempted to embrace his Master, but he could not touch him because Qui-Gon was a ghost. With a gasp, he fell to the ground, tears streaming down his cheeks. Qui-Gon instantly dropped down next to him, and because he was unable to touch his apprentice, sent feelings of love and comfort through the Force to surround Obi-Wan.
If you lose your way Think back on yesterday.Remember Me This Way.
Remember Me This Way.
Obi-Wan's sobs finally eased, but when he spoke again, Qui-Gon detected anger and resentment in his words. "Why? Why did you favor Anakin over me? Was I just your Padawan? Did nothing we do mean anything to you?"
"Oh, Obi-Wan, you were and still are my world. I had so much that I wanted to tell you, that I love you and always will, but the Force took me too soon. I held on as long as I could Obi-Wan, but I was gone too soon. That's why I've come here now, to tell you everything that I wanted to then. I've been watching you all day, Obi-Wan. I know how guilty you feel about my death. Look at me, Padawan." He waited until Obi-Wan's eyes met his own deep blue eyes, and then spoke again. "I love you so much Obi-Wan. You are more than my Padawan, you are the son of my heart, if not of my blood. I pressed my attack against the Sith to protect you. I sensed that training Anakin was not my destiny, but yours, so I had to protect you so you could fulfill that destiny. My role was to find Anakin, but yours is to be his Master."
"Why didn't you accept the healing I sent you Master? I sensed you throwing it back at me. Did you want to die? The Healers could have reached you and saved you if you had taken the energy I sent."
"Obi-Wan, when that blade went into my body, I realized that it was my time to become one with the Force. It was my time, so I didn't accept your energy because I didn't fight my destiny. I fought only long enough to extract your promise to train Anakin, and then I couldn't fight any more. There was nothing on Naboo that was your fault. It was NOT your fault, Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan sobbed again, but this time his tears were of joy and relief.
"Obi-Wan, this is important." Qui-Gon said when Obi-Wan's gaze met his own again. "I have found out that I was right, Padawan. Anakin is the Chosen One. He will bring balance to the Force." But not the way you think, Qui-Gon. Master Luna's cryptic comment came back to him. "Now do you see why Anakin is so important? I was right, Obi-Wan, and now it is up to you." Obi-Wan nodded, his eyes red-rimmed.
"Obi-Wan, I don't have much time left in this visit, so I must speak to Anakin. Can you forgive me?" Obi-Wan nodded again, rose, and headed towards the fresher. Qui-Gon rose as well, and moved towards the room Anakin had disappeared into. Obi-Wan's old room. Not wanting to just walk through the door and frighten Anakin, Qui-Gon called to the boy asking for permission to enter. The door hissed open, and Qui-Gon stepped in. Anakin was sitting on the bed, and he rose and bowed as Qui-Gon approached. Qui-Gon sat down on the bed, giving Anakin wordless permission to resume his seat. He looked disbelieving, and a little scared. For a moment they just studied each other. Then Qui-Gon broke the silence.
"Anakin, do you understand why I asked Obi-Wan to train you?"
"Yes Master. You made a promise to my mom, and when you were dying you had to fulfill your promise, so you picked Master Obi-Wan to take your place."
"Only partially Anakin. I also knew that if someone didn't take you as Padawan, that the Council would send you back to Tatooine. Obi-Wan was the only other Jedi around, and I knew that he had the knowledge necessary to train you, if not the experience. Give him a chance okay? He had about a two minute Knighthood, and in the space of a few days he has gone from being my Padawan to being your Master. Give him time to adjust to his new life." Anakin nodded, and then Qui-Gon glanced at the chrono on the wall. He had about two minutes left on this visit. "Come with me, Anakin." The two of them rose and stepped out into the sitting room, where Obi-Wan was waiting for them. At a gesture from Qui-Gon, Anakin went to stand by Obi-Wan.
"Are you ready to go, Master Jinn?" The clear voice was heard only by Qui-Gon. Turning his head, he saw Master Arwenna Odette Luna, standing there, her hand held out to him to bring him home. He nodded, holding up his index finger at the same time, signaling just a moment. Turning back to his Padawan and Anakin, he raised his hand in farewell. "Goodbye Obi-Wan, Anakin. Never forget that I am now one with the Force, and whenever you use the Force you call on me for aid." Then, as his ghost faded out of sight, he sent a burst of love to both of them, standing there side-by-side, the beginning of a new generation of Jedi.
Qui-Gon turned to Arwenna, and moving towards her, followed her into the Force. I'll always be here for you Obi-Wan. Never forget that. I will see you again.
Then, the Jedi Temple, and his old life, faded from view.
And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you.
I'll be standing by your side in all you do.
And I won't ever leave,
As long as you believe.
--------------- Flash Forward to Obi-Wan's Battle with Darth Vader in Episode 4------------
Obi-Wan Kenobi was tired. It had been years since his last serious saber fight, against the same menace he was facing now. Then, however, the menace had been younger, less experienced. Now the experience had increased for the enemy, while Obi-Wan's own stamina and agility had decreased. The knowledge and skill was still there, but the body wasn't capable of the demands this fight was putting on it. For 20 years he had been hiding on Tatooine, watching out for young Luke Skywalker.
Obi-Wan took his eyes off Vader long enough to glance towards the beat up smugglers ship that had brought them here. He saw the cocky smuggler Han Solo and his copilot Chewbacca, along with Luke, C3PO, R2D2, and a young woman… was that Leia? … running towards the ship. Luke glanced over at the door to where Obi-Wan and Vader fought, and stopped to watch. Bringing his eyes back to his opponent again, the two exchanged more blocks, parries, and strikes. Obi-Wan glanced towards Luke again, who stood behind some stormtroopers that had their backs to the small group of escapees. Luke was watching stunned, but in his eyes Obi-Wan saw a hint of fear and curiosity at why Old Ben was fighting. Then a shining blue flash caught Obi-Wan's eye. For a moment, he thought that it was the flash from the lightsabers, but then realized it came from the wrong direction. Glancing back at Vader, in an action meant to defend him, more blows and strikes were exchanged. When it was safe, Obi-Wan glanced in the direction of the blue glow still dancing at the edge of his vision, and saw a sight he had not seen in 60 years. The ghostly form of Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn stood in the hanger bay, smiling at Obi-Wan.
/You have done well, my Padawan. Now your journey in this life is complete. I have come to take you to the next step in your journey Obi-Wan. You have done well. /
The long silent bond awoke with a ferocity that Obi-Wan had not felt since his Master's last visit, 60 years ago. The realization that the bond was back filled Obi-Wan with a fierce joy he had not known since before the first Naboo war. Obi-Wan knew it was time.
Glancing back at Vader again, he looked once more at Luke, then embraced his destiny. He closed his eyes and raised the lightsaber he wielded; once Qui-Gon's, now Obi-Wan's, never to be used again; he raised the blue saber in a clear symbol of surrender and acceptance, even invitingly of death. Vader took the opening, and struck. At first, the sizzle of the blade stung, but all of a sudden there was only the sensation of being pulled from his body, and in a moment, there wasn't even a body left to strike. An empty pile of clothes and a deactivated lightsaber fell to the floor of the Death Star.
Obi-Wan opened his eyes to find himself being embraced by his Master. There was relief at being able to touch one another again, and love flowing through their reawakened bond.
"Nooo!" came a strangled cry. Obi-Wan broke contact from Qui-Gon, to see Luke standing in the middle of the Death Star hanger, firing his blaster as he attempted to blast the black-clad figure that had slain Old Ben. The stormtroopers were blasting away at Luke, as Vader calmly tapped at the pile of clothing with a booted foot, assuring that no Jedi tricks were involved.
Obi-Wan raised his hand and sent a wave of Force at the stormtroopers, angling the trajectory of the bolts away from Luke. Han and Leia were shouting something at Luke about getting on board, and finally Han yelled for Luke to blast the door lock. Luke did so, preventing more stormtroopers from arriving, but he continued to fight the ones still in the hanger.
Finally Obi-Wan could take it no longer. "Run Luke, Run!" he yelled into the younger man's mind. Luke turned and ran up the ramp of the Millennium Falcon and the ramp sealed behind them. Obi-Wan watched as the ship blasted out of the hanger, heading to rejoin the Rebel Fleet.
"Obi-Wan are you ready to go?" Obi-Wan's attention was drawn back to his Master's face. He studied the well known, never forgotten face, thinking about how often he had reflected on that well wore face during the last 20 or so years during rough times.
"Of course, Master. Lets go. I wish to walk the next path only with you." A fitting reward, he thought, for the years of suffering and struggle he had endured. Qui-Gon winced as he caught the stray thought.
"Obi-Wan, I am so sorry. When I last saw you, after Naboo, I knew that you would have many hardships ahead, but I was not permitted to tell you of my knowledge. Can you forgive me for that Obi-Wan?"
"Master, being with you again is worth any suffering or hardship that life threw at me since your death."
/ I'm glad you said that, Padawan. That just reconfirms my belief in your strength, courage, and faith. You have done your part for the Force, Obi-Wan. Now the flame must pass on to Luke and his friends. Let's go home, Padawan. Let's go home. /
And with those thoughts, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn, together again and forever, moved off on the next step of their incredible Force guided journey. A journey that will never end.
I'll make a wish for youAnd hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember Me This Way
Remember Me… This Way.
Okay. This is my first Star Wars fan fic, so what do you guys, the loyal readers, think. Please let me know if you liked it! This took me a whole week to write, type, and post, so please be nice enough to drop a review and let me know if I did good or not! -Phoenixqueen