A Matter Of Gender Part 2
Half an hour later, Noin made a move to go home to her apartment. " I'm going out to the movies with Zechs tonight!" she sang happily. " I have to go and get ready!"
" Straight away? Isn't that a little early?" Sally asked.
" It's already dinnertime," Noin reminded her. " I've only got about three hours! Gotta jet!"
With that, she disappeared into the crowd, lugging her bags of shopping. Sally turned to the girl next to her. " Faye, where are you going to stay tonight?" she asked. " I doubt you'd want to sleep the night in the house full of boys you were in this morning!"
" I'll be fine there...." Wufei tried to explain.
" No, I think it would be better for you if you stayed with me, for tonight anyway," Sally answered kindly. " I'm sure it would be less of an ordeal for you to stay with a person of the same gender."
" I...er...but you only have one bed," Wufei replied.
" How do you know, Faye?" Sally inquired, arching an eyebrow. Then she grinned.
" I, um, just assumed..." Wufei covered up.
" Well as it turns out, I do only have one bed but I'm happy to sleep on the couch, you know. I insist. Besides, I am a little concerned about that temperature of yours, I'd like to keep an eye on it. I used to be a doctor, you know."
' I *do* know', Wufei thought.
"... And then I was a rebel........and now I am a Preventer," Sally continued making idle chatter. " So is Noin but I mainly work with this guy called Wufei..."
Wufei's ears pricked up at the utterance of his real name. Being referred to as 'Faye' was getting rather tedious and confusing to say the least. He was desperate to be called by his proper title. For once in his life he began to wonder how Sally must feel when he continually addressed her as 'Woman'.
Wufei had come to realise that he could not refer to her as that, for now anyway, seeing as this curse had made him appear to be of the same gender! She'd guess! He'd have to explain about the whole thing and wind up making a bigger fool of himself than he was already. Wufei wasn't sure if that was actually possible.
He tried to decide why he cared what Sally Po thought of him anyway, and rested in the conclusion that it wasn't everyday a guy got mysteriously transformed into a woman and that would be too much for even Sally to accept. This DAMNED curse! He wondered how he would break free of it...
*******
" Well, Faye, this is my humble home," Sally said cheerfully as they stepped into her apartment.
'I know' Wufei thought miserably. He had always liked Sally's place - it was nicely decorated with a sort of oriental feel to it. Wufei had tried to decorate his bedroom to his tastes but almost everything else in his residence was shared with the other four Gundam pilots. Come to think of it, he would have rather liked to live here.
" Are you hungry?" Sally asked, as the 'girl' slouched down on the couch. Wufei shook his head.
" Well I am," Sally replied, " Though I suppose I'll have to settle for chicken and noodles. I haven't had time to do much shopping lately, what with all the work I've had at the Preventers. Man, my partner, Wufei is sooo lazy when it comes to paperwork. He'd rather just sit meditating or lecturing me while I do everything! He's such a baka at times..."
Wufei hung his head a little, feeling hurt to hear Sally say these words. He'd never really considered his behaviour was a problem to her. She usually just accepted it. So what *did* she really think of him, he wondered.
" This guy, Wufei, what's he like?" Wufei asked quietly, while Sally messed about stuffing chicken in the oven and ripping open a packet of noodles.
" Are you sure you don't want some, Faye?" she interrupted.
Wufei gave in, nodding halfheartedly, then repeated his question.
Sally sighed. " He's just so hard to get along with. I have tried. You probably know yourself what guys are like, they're so competitive but Wufei is just in a league of his own! "
" But...what...what is it that you can't stand about him...?"
Sally absentmindedly twisted the noodles around in the pan.
" Hmm, where do I start?!" she laughed, tossing her braids. " He has a total lack of respect for me, he constantly reminds me of my gender- like that's anything to do with the price of fish - he thinks I am weak and above all, he is the most ungrateful person I have *ever* met!"
Half of Wufei wanted to be incredibly angry at what Sally was saying, to argue with her, to lecture her. But the half of him felt pathetic, as the truth had sunken into him like a stone - he had totally taken her for granted!
He got up and stood awkwardly in the kitchen for a few moments, while Sally arranged the hot food on the plates.
" Sit down, Faye," she said cheerily, shoving the food under his nose, while she rummaged around in one of the cupboards.
" What are you looking for?" Wufei inquired. " Your food is going to go cold."
" Just some Aspirin," Sally answered breezily. " I got period cramps. I bet you know all about them. It's such an injustice being a woman, isn't it? They're soo painful for me anyway. Do you get them bad?"
Wufei choked on a mouthful of chicken. Periods? Ah, yes, he remembered Duo making some crude remarks about the issue in the past. Quatre had thought they were something to do with punctuation....but Wufei never really thought much of them...like he *really* needed to know about 'Onna Syndrome' anyway.
He felt hot and embarrassed, realising she expected an answer; " Excruciating."
Sally obliviously gulped down the Aspirins with a glass of water, then joined him at the table. Wufei hacked with the knife and fork as if they were alien to him. He was aware that Sally was watching him from the other side of the table, a discrete smile on her face.
" What's wrong, Faye? she asked, smothering a giggle.
" I...I'd prefer chopsticks, if you don't mind...um, do you have any?"
Sally grinned. " Sure. I have a special pair that I save for Wufei when he comes around. But I only ever get them out if he's in a good mood."
" But they're not even out of the packet...."
Sally handed over the chopsticks and they ate in silence for a while, until Sally spoke up; " Faye, you seem kinda quiet. There's no need to be shy of me."
" I was just wondering about this Wufei guy, how come you insist on inviting him round if he's such a baka?"
Sally lowered her eyes to her plate. " Funny you should say that. I don't really know."
Wufei could tell she was hiding things. " But anyone would think he was the most terrible man ever to grace the Universe..."
" Believe me, Wufei *graces* nowhere."
The Chinese Wufei 'girl' was becoming agitated. Why was Sally being so mean about Wufei....about HIM? It was awful to hear her say such things in his presence, even though she didn't know it.
" So then why don't you get a transfer - I'm sure Lady Une would let you!"
" How do you know Une is my boss?"
" I...um - that woman...I mean...Noin...mentioned it...."
" Oh."
Wufei watched as Sally twiddled the food around on her plate, her cheeks becoming a little flushed.
" So then," he continued. " By the sounds of it, you ought to get shut of this Wufei person, flush him out of your job, your life, everything."
Sally sighed deeply; " Faye, I just....can't."
" And why can't you?" Wufei's voice softened. " Being a woman and everything, I can empathise with you..."
" Because....it's because....well anyway, time to do the washing up. I'm not going to eat much more of this. I think I over-cooked it."
******
For the rest of the evening, the two watched TV. Any old thing on the box. Seeing as Sally didn't know who Faye really was, suggested plenty of idiotic soap-operas with weak, sappy scenes she assumed he'd enjoy. They didn't talk further on the subject of Chang Wufei.
Wufei would have rather been meditating but somehow, being in Sally's presence, as a girl or not, was uplifting. Her eyes always sparkled with a grin, despite being drugged up with Aspirins and hugging a hot water bottle. Wufei didn't know how he'd cope with such an inconvenience. He'd probably go on a katana-slashing spree, but it took much more strength just to accept it. It was damn hard being a woman, he thought. And with a pang of guilt, realised they needed more respect than he usually offered them.
Sally yawned at about eleven o' clock. " Faye do you want to carry on watching TV or do you want to go to sleep?" she asked graciously. "You look kinda tired."
Wufei had to admit, he was exhausted from the days shocks and events. He was becoming increasingly worried that he would never be able to break the curse that had been laid upon him - the woman in his vision hadn't mentioned how he could get himself out of this mess.
Wufei nodded and made his way to Sally's bedroom. Sally took a spare blanket from a cupboard and settled on the couch.
In the darkness of the room, Wufei crawled under the sheets. He had avoided glancing at his feminine reflection in the mirror. He felt dreadful - this curse - the way he'd treated Sally in the past - the things she had said about him - the fact he knew he adored her - the fact he didn't know if he could ever be a man again.
The door creaked slightly and Sally appeared, her hair unbraided wearing a bathrobe. " Faye, are you comfortable in there?" she whispered. "Just yell if you need anything."
" I *do* need something," a quiet voice answered from inside the bed.
" Oh, sure. A glass of water? An extra pillow?"
" No. I want to know why you put up with Wufei when you could so easily ditch him as your Preventer partner."
Illuminated by the light in the hallway, Sally looked like some kind of angel, and an unhappy one at that. She bit her lip for a moment. " I hold on to him because...well..I've never even admitted it to anyone, not to Noin, not anyone...but....I...I LOVE HIM. I love Wufei. Good night."
She closed the door and Wufei began to cry into the pillow miserably. He *had* to remove this curse somehow or he would never be able to love that stupid weak baka onna.
" Sally," he choked into the darkness, falling more and more into despair each time he spoke her name. " Sally, Sally, SALLY!"
*******
" Buddy?"
" Wufei? Are you okay?"
Wufei's eyes snapped open to the sight of two pairs of blue saucer-round eyes blinking down at him. He was drenched in a cold sweat, shivering on the floor.
" Aw, Wu-man! We were having breakfast downstairs and we heard you screaming. Fall out of bed, huh?" Duo asked, his grin broad.
Bed? This wasn't Sally's room. Where was he? Back in his own bedroom? He could see Trowa and Heero stood leaning against the doorframe, peculiar expressions on their faces.
" It was probably a nightmare, Wufei," Quatre soothed, patting the Chinese guy comfortingly.
Wufei didn't need comforting. " Am I a man now? Tell me, do I look like a man to you?"
" Is there something we should know about, Wu-man?" the braided pilot snickered. "As far as I know, your sex-change wasn't on the calendar this week."
Wufei glowered for a minute, then dashed to the mirror. Sure enough, his own face frowned back at him. Phew! He was fully masculine again! The curse had all been a nightmare - but it had left him in no doubt of what he really wanted in life. Now he could go and do what he knew he needed to...
Without a backward glance at the other pilots, he dodged Heero and Trowa and bolted down the stairs and out the front door. " You are the weakest link, goodbye!" Duo called at his retreating figure.
*******
Sally Po set down her coffee hearing the loud, frantic banging on her door. Wondering who could want her at this time on a morning, she turned the key and opened it.
What came next left her in utter astonishment. Chang Wufei stumbled into her apartment in his pyjamas, flinging his arms around her neck and thrusting a forceful kiss on her lips. This lasted a good few minutes until Sally broke away.
" Er - just a simple 'good morning' would have been enough," she said, bewildered. "And you could have at least waited until I'd put some lipstick on. I look like death warmed up."
" Only Maxwell is Death," Wufei answered bluntly.
Sally regarded the Chinese man suspiciously. " Did Duo put you up to this because if he did, it's a pretty sick joke," she said.
Wufei glared, but only for a second; " And what makes you think I'd listen to a word Maxwell says?"
Sally had to admit, Wufei was the least likely person to make a fool of himself all for the sake of a prank. Which left her with two other options; either he was desperately ill, or he was being genuine.
She placed her hands over his cheeks and forehead. They felt normal. " Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
" I am fine wom-"
" *Sally *was the word you were looking for, I believe," Sally Po said with a smirk, not removing her hands.
" Yes, I'll call you only Sally from now on."
" Is that a promise?"
" Of course, Woman."
Sally shook her head, though Wufei could see she was smiling. He reached out for her and held her close to him, the way had wanted to do in his dream. The white bathrobe she was wearing was all snuggly and it felt good to have someone to care for him, and someone to care about.
" So what made you change your mind about all this woman nonsense?" Sally asked, squeezing him.
" You did," Wufei answered, not even bothering to resist the urge to kiss her again.
" How do you mean?"
Wufei wondered if he should tell her about the dream - maybe another time, perhaps - when he really wanted to scare her, or when he was drunk which wasn't likely. " Oh, it doesn't matter right now," he sighed happily.
Sally tried to free herself from his embrace after a while. " Wufei, I have to get ready because I am going shopping to the mall this morning to get a dress for Lady Une's birthday meal. It's all Noin's idea, really. So I can't be long."
Wufei gripped her tightly " I'll free you on one condition," Wufei replied with a small grin.
" And what is that?"
" That you let me come with you..."
~Fin~
I had this written ages ago. Yes I know this ending reeks of originality but hey, how else was he gonna get to be with Sally? I wouldn't like to think. And I suppose the fic is about humour not intricate plotlines. Anyway, I feel justice is served and Wufei has had his punishment LOL. Can't torture poor Wuffy for too long. Well did you think that was too insane? Please review to tell me what your feelings are about this fic!
Half an hour later, Noin made a move to go home to her apartment. " I'm going out to the movies with Zechs tonight!" she sang happily. " I have to go and get ready!"
" Straight away? Isn't that a little early?" Sally asked.
" It's already dinnertime," Noin reminded her. " I've only got about three hours! Gotta jet!"
With that, she disappeared into the crowd, lugging her bags of shopping. Sally turned to the girl next to her. " Faye, where are you going to stay tonight?" she asked. " I doubt you'd want to sleep the night in the house full of boys you were in this morning!"
" I'll be fine there...." Wufei tried to explain.
" No, I think it would be better for you if you stayed with me, for tonight anyway," Sally answered kindly. " I'm sure it would be less of an ordeal for you to stay with a person of the same gender."
" I...er...but you only have one bed," Wufei replied.
" How do you know, Faye?" Sally inquired, arching an eyebrow. Then she grinned.
" I, um, just assumed..." Wufei covered up.
" Well as it turns out, I do only have one bed but I'm happy to sleep on the couch, you know. I insist. Besides, I am a little concerned about that temperature of yours, I'd like to keep an eye on it. I used to be a doctor, you know."
' I *do* know', Wufei thought.
"... And then I was a rebel........and now I am a Preventer," Sally continued making idle chatter. " So is Noin but I mainly work with this guy called Wufei..."
Wufei's ears pricked up at the utterance of his real name. Being referred to as 'Faye' was getting rather tedious and confusing to say the least. He was desperate to be called by his proper title. For once in his life he began to wonder how Sally must feel when he continually addressed her as 'Woman'.
Wufei had come to realise that he could not refer to her as that, for now anyway, seeing as this curse had made him appear to be of the same gender! She'd guess! He'd have to explain about the whole thing and wind up making a bigger fool of himself than he was already. Wufei wasn't sure if that was actually possible.
He tried to decide why he cared what Sally Po thought of him anyway, and rested in the conclusion that it wasn't everyday a guy got mysteriously transformed into a woman and that would be too much for even Sally to accept. This DAMNED curse! He wondered how he would break free of it...
*******
" Well, Faye, this is my humble home," Sally said cheerfully as they stepped into her apartment.
'I know' Wufei thought miserably. He had always liked Sally's place - it was nicely decorated with a sort of oriental feel to it. Wufei had tried to decorate his bedroom to his tastes but almost everything else in his residence was shared with the other four Gundam pilots. Come to think of it, he would have rather liked to live here.
" Are you hungry?" Sally asked, as the 'girl' slouched down on the couch. Wufei shook his head.
" Well I am," Sally replied, " Though I suppose I'll have to settle for chicken and noodles. I haven't had time to do much shopping lately, what with all the work I've had at the Preventers. Man, my partner, Wufei is sooo lazy when it comes to paperwork. He'd rather just sit meditating or lecturing me while I do everything! He's such a baka at times..."
Wufei hung his head a little, feeling hurt to hear Sally say these words. He'd never really considered his behaviour was a problem to her. She usually just accepted it. So what *did* she really think of him, he wondered.
" This guy, Wufei, what's he like?" Wufei asked quietly, while Sally messed about stuffing chicken in the oven and ripping open a packet of noodles.
" Are you sure you don't want some, Faye?" she interrupted.
Wufei gave in, nodding halfheartedly, then repeated his question.
Sally sighed. " He's just so hard to get along with. I have tried. You probably know yourself what guys are like, they're so competitive but Wufei is just in a league of his own! "
" But...what...what is it that you can't stand about him...?"
Sally absentmindedly twisted the noodles around in the pan.
" Hmm, where do I start?!" she laughed, tossing her braids. " He has a total lack of respect for me, he constantly reminds me of my gender- like that's anything to do with the price of fish - he thinks I am weak and above all, he is the most ungrateful person I have *ever* met!"
Half of Wufei wanted to be incredibly angry at what Sally was saying, to argue with her, to lecture her. But the half of him felt pathetic, as the truth had sunken into him like a stone - he had totally taken her for granted!
He got up and stood awkwardly in the kitchen for a few moments, while Sally arranged the hot food on the plates.
" Sit down, Faye," she said cheerily, shoving the food under his nose, while she rummaged around in one of the cupboards.
" What are you looking for?" Wufei inquired. " Your food is going to go cold."
" Just some Aspirin," Sally answered breezily. " I got period cramps. I bet you know all about them. It's such an injustice being a woman, isn't it? They're soo painful for me anyway. Do you get them bad?"
Wufei choked on a mouthful of chicken. Periods? Ah, yes, he remembered Duo making some crude remarks about the issue in the past. Quatre had thought they were something to do with punctuation....but Wufei never really thought much of them...like he *really* needed to know about 'Onna Syndrome' anyway.
He felt hot and embarrassed, realising she expected an answer; " Excruciating."
Sally obliviously gulped down the Aspirins with a glass of water, then joined him at the table. Wufei hacked with the knife and fork as if they were alien to him. He was aware that Sally was watching him from the other side of the table, a discrete smile on her face.
" What's wrong, Faye? she asked, smothering a giggle.
" I...I'd prefer chopsticks, if you don't mind...um, do you have any?"
Sally grinned. " Sure. I have a special pair that I save for Wufei when he comes around. But I only ever get them out if he's in a good mood."
" But they're not even out of the packet...."
Sally handed over the chopsticks and they ate in silence for a while, until Sally spoke up; " Faye, you seem kinda quiet. There's no need to be shy of me."
" I was just wondering about this Wufei guy, how come you insist on inviting him round if he's such a baka?"
Sally lowered her eyes to her plate. " Funny you should say that. I don't really know."
Wufei could tell she was hiding things. " But anyone would think he was the most terrible man ever to grace the Universe..."
" Believe me, Wufei *graces* nowhere."
The Chinese Wufei 'girl' was becoming agitated. Why was Sally being so mean about Wufei....about HIM? It was awful to hear her say such things in his presence, even though she didn't know it.
" So then why don't you get a transfer - I'm sure Lady Une would let you!"
" How do you know Une is my boss?"
" I...um - that woman...I mean...Noin...mentioned it...."
" Oh."
Wufei watched as Sally twiddled the food around on her plate, her cheeks becoming a little flushed.
" So then," he continued. " By the sounds of it, you ought to get shut of this Wufei person, flush him out of your job, your life, everything."
Sally sighed deeply; " Faye, I just....can't."
" And why can't you?" Wufei's voice softened. " Being a woman and everything, I can empathise with you..."
" Because....it's because....well anyway, time to do the washing up. I'm not going to eat much more of this. I think I over-cooked it."
******
For the rest of the evening, the two watched TV. Any old thing on the box. Seeing as Sally didn't know who Faye really was, suggested plenty of idiotic soap-operas with weak, sappy scenes she assumed he'd enjoy. They didn't talk further on the subject of Chang Wufei.
Wufei would have rather been meditating but somehow, being in Sally's presence, as a girl or not, was uplifting. Her eyes always sparkled with a grin, despite being drugged up with Aspirins and hugging a hot water bottle. Wufei didn't know how he'd cope with such an inconvenience. He'd probably go on a katana-slashing spree, but it took much more strength just to accept it. It was damn hard being a woman, he thought. And with a pang of guilt, realised they needed more respect than he usually offered them.
Sally yawned at about eleven o' clock. " Faye do you want to carry on watching TV or do you want to go to sleep?" she asked graciously. "You look kinda tired."
Wufei had to admit, he was exhausted from the days shocks and events. He was becoming increasingly worried that he would never be able to break the curse that had been laid upon him - the woman in his vision hadn't mentioned how he could get himself out of this mess.
Wufei nodded and made his way to Sally's bedroom. Sally took a spare blanket from a cupboard and settled on the couch.
In the darkness of the room, Wufei crawled under the sheets. He had avoided glancing at his feminine reflection in the mirror. He felt dreadful - this curse - the way he'd treated Sally in the past - the things she had said about him - the fact he knew he adored her - the fact he didn't know if he could ever be a man again.
The door creaked slightly and Sally appeared, her hair unbraided wearing a bathrobe. " Faye, are you comfortable in there?" she whispered. "Just yell if you need anything."
" I *do* need something," a quiet voice answered from inside the bed.
" Oh, sure. A glass of water? An extra pillow?"
" No. I want to know why you put up with Wufei when you could so easily ditch him as your Preventer partner."
Illuminated by the light in the hallway, Sally looked like some kind of angel, and an unhappy one at that. She bit her lip for a moment. " I hold on to him because...well..I've never even admitted it to anyone, not to Noin, not anyone...but....I...I LOVE HIM. I love Wufei. Good night."
She closed the door and Wufei began to cry into the pillow miserably. He *had* to remove this curse somehow or he would never be able to love that stupid weak baka onna.
" Sally," he choked into the darkness, falling more and more into despair each time he spoke her name. " Sally, Sally, SALLY!"
*******
" Buddy?"
" Wufei? Are you okay?"
Wufei's eyes snapped open to the sight of two pairs of blue saucer-round eyes blinking down at him. He was drenched in a cold sweat, shivering on the floor.
" Aw, Wu-man! We were having breakfast downstairs and we heard you screaming. Fall out of bed, huh?" Duo asked, his grin broad.
Bed? This wasn't Sally's room. Where was he? Back in his own bedroom? He could see Trowa and Heero stood leaning against the doorframe, peculiar expressions on their faces.
" It was probably a nightmare, Wufei," Quatre soothed, patting the Chinese guy comfortingly.
Wufei didn't need comforting. " Am I a man now? Tell me, do I look like a man to you?"
" Is there something we should know about, Wu-man?" the braided pilot snickered. "As far as I know, your sex-change wasn't on the calendar this week."
Wufei glowered for a minute, then dashed to the mirror. Sure enough, his own face frowned back at him. Phew! He was fully masculine again! The curse had all been a nightmare - but it had left him in no doubt of what he really wanted in life. Now he could go and do what he knew he needed to...
Without a backward glance at the other pilots, he dodged Heero and Trowa and bolted down the stairs and out the front door. " You are the weakest link, goodbye!" Duo called at his retreating figure.
*******
Sally Po set down her coffee hearing the loud, frantic banging on her door. Wondering who could want her at this time on a morning, she turned the key and opened it.
What came next left her in utter astonishment. Chang Wufei stumbled into her apartment in his pyjamas, flinging his arms around her neck and thrusting a forceful kiss on her lips. This lasted a good few minutes until Sally broke away.
" Er - just a simple 'good morning' would have been enough," she said, bewildered. "And you could have at least waited until I'd put some lipstick on. I look like death warmed up."
" Only Maxwell is Death," Wufei answered bluntly.
Sally regarded the Chinese man suspiciously. " Did Duo put you up to this because if he did, it's a pretty sick joke," she said.
Wufei glared, but only for a second; " And what makes you think I'd listen to a word Maxwell says?"
Sally had to admit, Wufei was the least likely person to make a fool of himself all for the sake of a prank. Which left her with two other options; either he was desperately ill, or he was being genuine.
She placed her hands over his cheeks and forehead. They felt normal. " Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
" I am fine wom-"
" *Sally *was the word you were looking for, I believe," Sally Po said with a smirk, not removing her hands.
" Yes, I'll call you only Sally from now on."
" Is that a promise?"
" Of course, Woman."
Sally shook her head, though Wufei could see she was smiling. He reached out for her and held her close to him, the way had wanted to do in his dream. The white bathrobe she was wearing was all snuggly and it felt good to have someone to care for him, and someone to care about.
" So what made you change your mind about all this woman nonsense?" Sally asked, squeezing him.
" You did," Wufei answered, not even bothering to resist the urge to kiss her again.
" How do you mean?"
Wufei wondered if he should tell her about the dream - maybe another time, perhaps - when he really wanted to scare her, or when he was drunk which wasn't likely. " Oh, it doesn't matter right now," he sighed happily.
Sally tried to free herself from his embrace after a while. " Wufei, I have to get ready because I am going shopping to the mall this morning to get a dress for Lady Une's birthday meal. It's all Noin's idea, really. So I can't be long."
Wufei gripped her tightly " I'll free you on one condition," Wufei replied with a small grin.
" And what is that?"
" That you let me come with you..."
~Fin~
I had this written ages ago. Yes I know this ending reeks of originality but hey, how else was he gonna get to be with Sally? I wouldn't like to think. And I suppose the fic is about humour not intricate plotlines. Anyway, I feel justice is served and Wufei has had his punishment LOL. Can't torture poor Wuffy for too long. Well did you think that was too insane? Please review to tell me what your feelings are about this fic!