Spoilers: None
Characters: JC
Rating: G
He just started at County. He didn't know anyone. Everything he did was wrong according to his mentor. Yet he kept smiling, kept on trying. No one would talk to him, he didn't know why. He was wearing a coat like everyone else, except that his grandmother *insisted* on having it tailored to fit him perfectly. But he didn't look that different. Why didn't anyone want to get to know him? He felt so alone and lonely. This was like starting school again, where no one knew him. It wasn't his fault his specialties hadn't prepared him for his ER rotation, so what if he focused on dermatology and plastics? He had to in order to get his family to pay for med school. If he had to be a doctor, at least be one that caters to 'their type of people.'
Day after day alone on the hill,
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still,
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool,
And he never gives an answer,
But the fool on the hill
Sees the sun going down,
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.
It's so crazy here in the ER. The pace is so fast. How can he ever
learn to catch up? He feels so useless and foolish even attempting to do
anything here. He can't even get his gloves on fast enough. And no
one has time to answer all his questions. He's just supposed to know how
to do everything he's told without instructions. Or else he's given the
instructions so fast with no time for questions. How does his mentor
expect him to learn anything if he can't ask? Everything just seems to be
spinning past him while he's standing still.
Well on his way his head in a cloud,
The man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud
But nobody ever hears him,
Or the sound he appears to make,
And he never seems to notice,
But the fool on the hill . . .
Nobody seems to like him
They can tell what he wants to do.
And he never shows his feelings,
But the fool on the hill . . .
Just when he thinks he's finally getting a hand on doing stitches, something he's familiar with, here comes his mentor again to make him feel down. He tries to say something, but he's not heard. No matter how he tries to ask for help or guidance in getting on in the ER, he still isn't getting any help from his mentor. It seems like he's talking to no one. Yet he keeps trying to get help. Why won't anyone help him get along with his mentor?
He's been trying so hard to get people to like him, yet no one does. Why not? What is it about him? He knows he didn't mention his background, his family, his financial status, so why don't they like him?
The day's finally over. About time. Now he can go home and let all his feelings out. After all, a Carter never shows how he's feeling in public.
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