The Fangirls Snowball Fight
A/N & D/N: I own only the Fangirls, and the plot. Everything else belongs to Tolkien. Well, as I say before all fics, "Be afraid, VERY afraid…"
The Fellowship was walking slowly up the snowy mountain. They were cold, hungry and tired, and yet, it was just the beginning of their long, stupi- I mean courageous adventure, ummm yeah…
ANYWAY! Suddenly an icy cold snowball hits Boromir in the back of the head.
'What the **** was that?!' Boromir shouted turning around to see what the he- I mean, what hit him. Gimli, the idioti- I mean, brave dwarf, also turned around to see what was disturbing Boromir. (Not that he really cared)
Just as he turned around another icy snowball hit Gimli square in the face.
Gimli was outraged, 'Who the **** is doing this?!? I want answers!' and he continued to make some huge fuss in which no one really paid attention to.
The whole Fellowship at this point turned to see what was going on. What they saw were nine little girls, the youngest not being under ten and the oldest not over fifteen. All of them had sweet, angelic looks on their faces that gave the impression that they were completely incapable of throwing an icy snowball at someone. But they had.
Hence, the battle began. The Fellowship starting throwing snowballs at the fangirls, except they weren't as well made as theirs and fell apart in mid-air. So the "Almighty Fellowship of the Ring" was losing. What a surpris-I mean OH NO!
Sauron was watching this battle from that crystal glassy-thingy, whatever it's called. Geez I am not being paid to pay attention here! And he got mad because he couldn't have the mountain throw rocks and avalanches at them on that part of the mountain. So he gathered his nine ring-wraithes, Sauruman, and a band of 500 orcs and went to the mountain to join- I mean stop the snowball fight and bury them in snowb- I mean kill them.
When he arrived the fangirls and the Fellowship were in the middle of a full-fledged snowball fight. Suddenly they were being pelted with hundreds of snowballs at once!
'Orcs!' Frodo screamed as he lifted his sword to find it glowing.
Fangirl#1(A black-haired green-eyed fangirl{whom appeared to be the leader}) turned to the others, 'I think we will need reinforcements.' And she disappeared into thin air, only to come back with 500 more fangirls.
'Charge!' Fangirl #1 screamed and the battle continued.
In the midst of the battle many things happened beside the fact that snowballs were constantly being thrown at each other.
'We are here to fight, not here to "attack" Legolas!' Fangirl #1 shouted and Fangirls #'s 15, 349, 67, 97, 123, 499, 225, 78, 34, 401, 50 and 72 all quickly get off Legolas and continue fighting. Although, all strangely close to him…
An icy snowball hits Frodo square in the face. As he looks around to see who threw it he notices a brunette giggling a few feet in front of him.
'Hey! That hurt!' he yelled angrily at her.
The brunette walked over to him with her head hung low, and gestured a hurt apology.
'I am sorry, I shouldn't have gotten mad at you,' Frodo apologized back. (Hobbits **Writer shakes head** always like that…)
Fangirl #2's head snapped up and a huge grin was on her face. She hugged him quickly and kissed him once, or maybe twice, before Frodo knew what happened and skipped off.
As quickly as it began, or maybe not, the fight had ended. And wouldn't you know it, the Fangirls won! Duh! You thought Sauron –the Mary Sue – would win? **Loser**Coughcough-I mean come on!
'Yea! We won!' The Hobbits started dancing and singing.
Sauron starts pouting, 'But I wanted to win! I should have won! I am the bad guy with all the cool orcs on my side! I WANT MY MOMMY!!! WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!' he turned and started crying into Sauruman's shoulder.
The nine Fangirls turn and gave eachother that look that clearly said, did he ever have a Mommy? They decided not to ask.
Sauron got up still crying and retreated, leaving the battlefield behind.
'Wait a minute!' Fangirl #1 shouted at him. 'Since we won you have to play another game with us!'
The Fellowship looked at her like she was some freak, well Frodo was wondering if Fangirl #2 really liked him, but that's not the point. They were also wondering this was a game? We almost got killed by millions of snowballs! Idio- I mean well we each have our own opinions, I can't put this one nicely.
'Another game?' Sauron asked hopefully, maybe he would win this one…
'Yup!' Fangirl #1 answered. According to the rules, only she can speak, and only in few words.
'Yea! Can we play Ring Around the Rosie?' Orc #378 asked hopefully.
'NO! Duck, duck goose!' Ring-wraith person ( or it is a thing?) argued.
Soon there was a HUGE argument, involving in several killings, about what game should be played next. They heard Boromir scream.
'They shot me! One, two,' he looked down to count the arrows in his chest but died before he could finish.
'Ooops,' Fangirl #4 mumbled lowering her head.
'You're not supposed to speak!' Fangirl#1 yelled.
Fangirl #4 gestured in apology.
'Apology accepted. Sorry #4 got carried away and stole Legolas's bow, we can throw the body over the cliff and claim the orcs killed him.'
The Fellowship agreed, no one liked Boromir anyway, and the orcs didn't hear them for they were too busy fighting about what game to play next.
'QUIET!' Fangirl #1 shouted. Everyone fell silent, even the mountain wouldn't rumble and the birds stopped in mid-air. 'Since we won, I get to choose the next game.'
Everyone else looks disappointed or very pis- I mean angry.
'Frosty the Snowman!' she exclaimed and promptly told everyone the rules. Frodo didn't pay attention for he was still wondering if that cute Fangirl #2 liked him. She wasn't MUCH taller than him, only a foot or so…
You see, in order to play "Frosty the Snowman," they need to make several peop- umm, beings? into snowmen. The pe-beings they chose were Sauron, Sauruman, and the nine freaky creatures that I can't spell their names right. After each layer of packed snow Gandalf (HAPPY?) helped with the use of his staff to melt a layer of ice. The Fangirls packed them in so only their heads stuck out. Only Sauruman was complaining, well ignore the ring-things hissing.
'I want my mommy! I want her to make me hot cocoa! WAAAAAHHHHH!' and such forth, eventually Sauron joined in.
When each was packed into dozens of thick layers of snow and ice, the Fangirls all started humming the tune "Frosty the Snowman," except Fangirl #1, who was singing the lyrics in an extremely off-key voice. After the song they all simultaneously, "accidentally" pushed the eleven enemies off the cliff the battle took place on. Then they ran as Gandalf created an avalanche that knocked all the orcs down into the sharp, jagged rocks thousands of miles below with Sauron and the rest. Not to mention it was probably even more uncomfortable when hundreds of feet of packed snow landed on top of them as well…
'Good riddance! Adios! Ciao!' Fangirl #1 shouted down the cliff to about the spot THEY had fallen. Then she disappeared with the extra 500 Fangirls and reappeared about fifteen minutes later without them. Confusing huh? While she was doing this, Fangirl #7 was dissing the dwarf by copying everything he did and mimicking what he said. (But only moving her mouth, she wasn't allowed to speak) And Fangirl #2 was making out with Frodo. Fangirl #3 was wondering if this would be a good mountain to bike on, then decided against it and went to help Fangirl #7. Fangirl #5 was reading the script to learn what happens next, only to discover that the Fangirls are forced to follow the Fellowship secretly and torment them everywhere they go. But she got bored and started to draw pictures of the characters in The Lord Of The Rings. Fangirl #9 was busy staring at Legolas wondering why the he- erm, heck everyone, especially Fangirl #6, was in love with Legolas, he isn't really all that cute! And Fangirl #4 was busy reading The Lord Of The Rings, while Fangirl #8 was making more snowballs to throw at the others later…
Just be afraid… Should I write where they bother them next? Or is this stupid enough? LOL!
~*~ Liz