Imhotep gets a sudden idea and walks away, pushing men to the ground. We see Ardeth shooting more stuff, and more crud explodes.
AUDIENCE: Oooooooo…
Evy and Rick continue to run up the fire escape as Imhotep brings a jar out of... somewhere.
IMHOTEP (SUBTITLED): Collect your Beanie Babies! Gather your slugs! Shake the mold from your Band-Aids! Your master is MESSED!!!
Evy begins laughing as four soldier mummies in the form of dust fly out of the jar.
IMHOTEP (SUBTITLED): What's so funny?
EVY (SUBTITLED): Oh, nothing.
Imhotep turns to see all of his soldier mummies cracking up as well.
IMHOTEP (SUBTITLED): What? What'd I say?
He shrugs.
IMHOTEP (SUBTITLED): Oh, well. DESTROY THEM!!!
RICK: Oh, no not these guys again!!!
We zoom in to the soldier mummies' faces.
SOLDIER MUMMIES: WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUP?????
Cut to Alex and Jonathan inside the car. They hear the 'wazzup' and frantically get out of the car.
JONATHAN: What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
ALEX: You're asking me? I'm only eight years old for cripes sake!
Cut to Ardeth, Rick and Evy running out of the museum.
PATRICIA: How come she never gets a stupid nickname?
DYLAN: Because her name's only three letters long.
PATRICIA: Well, yeah, but 'Hawaiian cracker' has more letters than 'Meela' doesn't it?
DYLAN: Fine, whatever. You're Meela. Now what are you doing here? You're not even in this scene!
PATRICIA: Leaving. I just needed to sort out a few things about names...
DYLAN: Just go already!
PATRICIA: Gone.
Patricia has left the chat room.
DYLAN: Stupid computer.
Patricia has left the building.
DYLAN: OH SHUT UP!!!
ANYWAY, cut to Rick, Evy, and Ardeth running out of the museum. Evy turns around and starts to move the bench in front of the doors. Rick goes back and gets her.
RICK: Honey, what 'chu doing? These guys don't use doors.
The three run around the building. They see Rick's empty car.
RICK: All right, what did Jonathan do to my car this time?
Suddenly a huge red double-decker bus swerves in front of them, almost hitting them.
ARDETH: GAH!!!
RICK: What's the matter with my car?
JONATHAN: Well, I was forced to find an alternative means of transportation.
RICK: A DOUBLE DECKER BUS???
Jonathan points to Alex.
JONATHAN: It was his idea!
ALEX: Was not!
JONATHAN: Was too!
ALEX: Was not!
RICK: JUST GO!!! Oh, jeez.
Suddenly three mummies come bursting through the brick wall.
RICK: Where's the fourth one?
SOLDIER MUMMY 1: He hit the ventilation pipes.
RICK: Ah.
The O'Connell's bus speeds away. We see the advertisement the bus is carrying: 'Aspro - Stops Brain.' The soldier mummies jump and squash Rick's car. One stays behind to leave his name and address.
RICK: I'm gonna sue you for this!!!
SOLDIER MUMMY 2: I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!!!
RICK: Oh, I hate mummies.
EVY: Hey!!!
RICK: Only the Egyptian kind, though.
EVY: HEY!!!
RICK: I just can't win, can I?
ARDETH: Glad to see me now?
RICK: Hell yeah!
Rick hurries up to the top floor of the bus. The two remaining mummies are running after the bus.
RICK: Two. Pretty pathetic.
Suddenly they jump up and begin Spider-Man crawling on the buildings.
RICK: Right.
Suddenly the laws of physics shows up.
PHYSICS: Now what exactly do you think you're doing?
MUMMIES: Umm... using the Force?
PHYSICS: That's what they ALL say! First Trinity, now you...
(Dot Matrix ref.)
DYLAN: Uh, Mr. Physics, ma'am?
PHYSICS: Yes?
DYLAN: Uh, this is a movie. Stuff like this is supposed to happen in a movie.
PHYSICS: Really?
DYLAN: Well, yeah.
PHYSICS: Oh, well, carry on then. I'd better go apologize to Trinity...
The laws of physics disappears, and the two mummies are hanging on for dear, uh, undeath to the buildings, having lost their momentum. Finally they end up just swinging and dropping down on top of the O'Connell's bus.
One mummy land on the top of the bus and the other swings down and enters through the back. Ardeth blasts one in half with his Thompson.
ARDETH: I hope that doesn't come back to haunt me.
The top half of the mummy swings in and starts beating him up.
MUMMY: Now what am I supposed to do with my girlfriend?!?!
ARDETH: That was more than I wanted to know.
Meanwhile on the top floor, Rick is doing a nice little dance and shooting holes in the ceiling.
RICK: Dee-dee-dee-di-dee-dah-doh-doh. Dee-pa-didi-doh!
DYLAN: IT'S NOT THE HAMPSTERDANCE YOU FRIGGIN RETARD!!!
RICK: Sorry.
Suddenly the mummy on the roof he'd been trying to shoot falls through some thin metal.
MUMMY: Whoa!
Rick falls backwards and his gun falls (a lot of falling in this scene) to the first floor of the bus.
The bus does some horrible turning and runs over a lamppost. Another car drives down the street and swerves into a brick wall to avoid collision with the bus.
Back on the first floor, Ardeth is getting the crap beaten out of him by half a mummy.
ALEX: This is sad...
The mummy grows some incredibly long fingernails and is about to finish Ardeth off when Evy blasts it to sand with the gun Rick dropped.
ALEX: Aww, mum! Just when it was getting good!
The bus drives through a Hooverville and a bunch of homeless people pick up some of the broken bus window that has spilled on them.
HOMELESS PEOPLE: DIAMONDS!!!
The bus jerks some more before heading for the low bridge. Neither Rick nor the mummy he is battling with can see the sign. The bus drives under, or should I say through, the bridge.
When Rick sees the front end of the bus collapsing, he takes a wild guess and throws himself onto the floor. The mummy is stupid and just stands there, gawking like an idiot.
After the bus has passed under the bridge we see the squashed road kill on the bridge sign.
MUMMY: Ow...