DISCLAIMER: ~glomp~ MINE! -_-() Or not...
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Let us just say I have fun fiddling with everyone's personalities ~_~
Yes, I know it's a bit late, but I'm having fun with this story.
Tasuki grumbled bitterly under his breath as Houki presented him with what he had to wear during most of the play - basically a nightgown and robe and stupid little nightcap with a tassel on it. "No complaining, this took me two DAYS to find," she glared while shaking the robe at him. "And at least you won't have to be seen only in that!" She pointed at the nightshirt. Even SHE was horrified by it. It was… It was… Old. REALLY Old. And looked it. And looked pretty bad on Tasuki, but it was the best she could do.
He reluctantly grumbled his agreement to her statement, accepting the robe and quickly pulling it on and belting it over the nightshirt. Houki also tossed him a pair of old-fashioned slippers, but to her credit did not make him wear the nightcap. She gave him a look filled with sympathy as he left the dressing room.
"Ahhhh, how cuuuuute Uncle Ebenezer!" Nuriko was waiting outside for his turn to get in what costume they had for him and clapped his hands - quietly, since Miaka and Chichiri were working on their scene onstage.
"How much longer are ya gonna call me that ******* name?" Tasuki shot a murderous glare at his friend, who certainly wasn't ACTING very friendly.
"As long as I feel like it." Nuriko gave him another perky grin and darted into the dressing room before Tasuki's punch could hit him.
He, unlike Tasuki, enjoyed his costume. True, it was a bit uncomfortable, but for awhile he got to pretend to be someone ELSE, a game he'd always liked. So he willingly submitted himself to Houki's fittings and various other things that most sane people would consider torture. He even helped her find clothes for the cast, having good fashion sense and knowing where to find cheap things.
He grinned cheerfully at his "twin," who grinned back and threw him his clothing. "Thanks Houki-chan! HEY!" She snatched Tasuki's hat off his head, where it had been for awhile now, and put it on, grinning.
"Nuri-chan, you're an ACTOR, not a TECHIE. You have no right to this. Now, change!"
Pouting, Nuriko went around the corner into the main dressing room and obeyed her instructions.
Backstage, Tasuki's neck was nearly broken when a hand emerging from the make-up room suddenly grabbed the back of his costume and jerked, hard. He fell backwards to slam into the door, looking up dazedly for whoeverthehellwoulddothattohim. When his vision cleared he could plainly see Soi standing there, hands on her hips and shaking her head at him. "Honestly Tasuki, you've got to be more on guard."
"I don't try and kill you, so you don't try and kill me, got it?" He was not having a good day.
"Whatever. Look, come here, I've gotta ask you something." Tasuki pushed himself to his feet and followed her into the brightly-lit room lined with mirrors. He blinked rapidly as he went from almost-complete darkness into the glaring lights that tried to replicate the lighting quality on the stage. Soi was standing at the other end of the room, next to the large, multi-tiered make-up case that held all the things she'd use on every cast member. She was holding something in each of her hands, and he gradually came to realize what they were.
A wig and a can of spray-on hair dye.
"Oh ****," he muttered under his breath, anticipating what was coming next.
"Which one do you want, dye or wig? Scrooge can't have your hair, flamehead." He growled under his breath, letting his fangs show juuuuust a little, trying to intimidate her. "Knock it off, I know you too well for that to scare me. Just make a choice, 'cause we have to get this stuff on you, now."
He groaned loudly, but sat in the make-up chair and crossed his arms resignedly over his chest. She was one of the few women he actually respected, and he also knew very well what she could do to him if he gave her a hard time - and he preferred having all his limbs attached to his body. "Gimme the dye, those wigs HURT."
"Smart choice. Hold your breath. And put this over your face." She tossed him a multi-color streaked towel, which appeared to have been white at some point in the past, but was now several different shades of gray, brown, red, yellow (supposedly blonde), and black. "If this stuff gets on your skin it's hell to get off, and it'll take off the dye on your hair a lot faster than the dye on your skin." He nodded quickly (he had no desire to be white) and wrapped the towel over his face.
They nearly died of the smell of the dye, concentrated in one small room like that, and she had to use two cans to get it all through his thick hair, but they both agreed it was preferable to the wig. Soi could easily imagine the type of language that would interrupt the play if he had to wear it.
They were trying to wave the rest of the dye particles floating around in the air towards the vent to hopefully get the smell out of there when the door burst open and Tasuki's best friend flew in. "Bud, look, we gotta problem up there and- Holy ****."
"Can't either of you watch your mouths?"
Tasuki ignored Soi's comment and Koji seemed to have not heard it, being too busy gaping at Tasuki. "Holy **** man, what've they done to you?!"
"Shut the **** up about it, just tell me what the hell the problem is." Soi gave up and went back to organizing her make-up.
"The problem?"
"What you came racin' in here to tell me about!"
"Oh! Yeah! Well see, nothin's workin' on the soundboard, we think the wires got screwed up somehow, and you're the only who can fix it."
Tasuki groaned, loudly. "Not AGAIN. ****, you guys should know by now how to fix that!" Forgetting all about his costume and hair-job (which looked somewhat like a statue, as his hair was frozen in place with the dye, sticking up in random spikes like it normally did but none of them moving) he burst out of the make-up room and dashed expertly through the backstage area, then leapt down the steps and raced to the booth, Koji right behind him every step of the way.
In the booth Mitsukake was sprawled on his back on the floor, most of his torso hidden under the strong shelf the sound and light boards sat on, fiddling with the wiring and trying to get it working again. Something sparked and he yelped, biting back a curse and shaking his right hand. "Koji? Did you find him? Hopefully?"
"Yeah, I got him, and wait 'til ya see him! OW!" Tasuki had just whacked him with his fist.
"Move it Mits, lemme get under there." The very large man gratefully obeyed, pushing himself out and into a sitting position and looking a lot grayer. Then, the completely unexpected happened.
His facial expression changed.
His jaw slowly dropped open and his eyes widened as he saw the Ultimate Techie's get-up. "My god…"
Koji, meanwhile, was having a very hard time trying to smother laughter.
"CAN IT YOU TWO!" He dropped to the floor and crawled under the shelf, already reaching for the bundle of wires dangling from the soundboard.
"Hey Granpa, won't Houki kill you for that?"
"Mits, hit him for me, I'm a bit busy at the moment."
"OW!"
Meanwhile, back in wardrobe…
Tomo had arrived, as was expected, late, again as was expected.
And was complaining, as was expected.
"But Houki, I can't wear that!" He held the long, sweeping cloak and hood of the Ghost of Christmas Future in the tips of two fingers, as far away from himself as it could possibly get.
Houki gave him her most dangerous glare, slowly crossing her arms, making him quiver while Nuriko (complacently happy in his Fred outfit) watched amusedly from a stool. This is gonna be good…
"And just… what," Houki said through clenched teeth, fighting to stay in control, "is wrong with it?"
Nuriko had to grudgingly applaud Tomo's courage as he stared at the small, purple-haired girl a good eight inches shorter than him but who seemed to tower over even Mitsukake in one of her moods. He wasn't backing down that easily. "I-I-I-It h-hides my m-make-up."
Three, two, one… Nuriko counted silently to himself and plugged his ears.
Houki let out an ear-splitting scream.
I am too good.
"IT'S SUPPOSED TO HIDE YOUR MAKE-UP!! IT'S SUPPOSED TO HIDE YOUR FACE!! THEY DON'T SEE YOU AT ALL!!"
A timid knock at the door broke through her rant, and brave, gallant, stupid Chichiri poked his head through the door, speaking around the corner. "H-H-H-H-Houki no da… I-I-Is there a p-problem na no da?"
"Yes, with stupid idiots who won't do what they have to!" She was still raging, but at just above a normal volume now, and Nuriko considered taking his fingers out of his ears. "Tomo! Put that on, NOW!" She turned and stalked out of the dressing room, dragging poor Chichiri with her.
Nuriko cautiously unplugged his ears and looked at Tomo. He was shaking with fright and looking about as glad to be alive as a man who's just escaped Jaws. "Do you think we should get her some Ritalin for Christmas?" Nuriko asked blandly, folding his hands together in his lap.
Tomo nodded enthusiastically, still in silent shock.
And as Hotohori attempted to calm down an enraged Houki, and Nuriko struggled with helping the much taller Tomo into the very heavy robe, and Miaka and Chichiri rehearsed their lines on stage in half-costume (Chichiri was still wearing his sweatshirt), and Tasuki was getting grayer with dust as he fiddled with wires as Koji and Mitsukake laughed at his outfit, and Soi was making Tamahome greenish-gray, two figures camped out on one of the couches spread around the theatre (kindly donated by families of actors and techies past and present) managed to stop shaking in fear.
"WOW. Wonder what set her off that time," the female said, still a bit overwhelmed by the noise that had just gone ripping through the place.
"Judging by what I think she was saying as she screamed… Probably Tomo." The male was just as dazed as his companion.
She nodded vigorously. "Sure sounded like it. 'Hide your face' and all that, couldn't really be anyone else…" She winced as she remembered she was after Tomo on the costume-receiving list. Final fittings never seemed to go well with Houki, she always managed to explode at someone. "Wish me luck, next time you see me might be at my funeral."
He grinned evilly, knowing exactly what she was talking about. "I'll make a note to cry for you then." She playfully swatted at him, which he ducked. "I think someone's trying to calm her down though, you might just be severely maimed instead. There hasn't been any screaming since."
"Then bring me flowers at the hospital." She took a deep breath, gathering her courage, and got to her feet, preparing to head into battle.
And was unexpectedly pulled back to land on him.
"Are you sure you won't change your mind, Suba-chan?" Tokaki's look was completely serious.
She groaned, loudly, immensely justified in the act. How many times did they have to go through this before he understood?! "We're two weeks from opening. I want to play this part. I will not actually be interacting with Tasuki, and I'm not backing out!" She whapped him in the side of the head. "Get it?"
He rubbed the whapped area; she, like most of the women around the place, could be very violent when she wanted. "I just don't like the idea of that idiot all over you."
"Damnit Tokaki, no one will be all over me! Everything in this play's family appropriate! And I'm acting with Amiboshi, for god's sakes! You know he's too innocent to try anything! So shut up about it!"
What neither of them were aware of was that they could clearly be heard on stage, and Miaka and Chichiri were delightedly listening in on the latest in a series of "lover's quarrels" the two seemed to engage in nearly every day. Tokaki was clearly losing this one. Subaru wasn't stubborn to a fault for nothing.
"But Suba-chan-"
CRACK.
Miaka and Chichiri glanced at each other. "Stray piece of wood." Miaka said.
"Textbook no da." Chichiri shot back.
"DAMN woman, why the hell'd you have to go and hit me with your shoe?! That freakin' HURT!"
"We both lose. What's the score?"
"You've got eleven no da, I've got eight, with twenty-one neither na no da." Somehow Chichiri always remembered who won their little bets over what-did-Subaru-hit-Tokaki-with-this-time. At the end of the play whoever had the most was getting a free pair of movie tickets from the loser to the movie of their choosing.
Subaru glared at her boyfriend, who was sometimes the most thickheaded stagehand you'd find on any continent. "I've said this before. I am going to play Belle. And you can't stop me." She dropped the sandal and it landed with a dull THUD on the floor, then pushed her foot back into it (she didn't want a screw or nail through her foot) and went back to wardrobe.
Tokaki was left rubbing his head with a confused expression on his face. "What'd I do this time?"
Tasuki would've probably laughed at the scene, but at the moment he was fixing the last of the screwy wires. "That should do it. OK Koj, give it a try." Koji managed to settle down enough to flip on the power to the soundboard. He and Tasuki crowed with delight as it whirred to life again (Mitsukake permitted himself a small smile), displaying all the correct lights and gauge readings and nothing blew up. Koji tried hitting a few buttons, and suddenly the sound of carolers echoed through the house and stage. He quickly shut it off, then switched on the booth microphone. "It's fixed now, we're ready to go."
They could see Miaka applauding onstage and Chichiri shooting them the thumbs up sign, then a ghost appeared right in front of them.
"GAAAAHHHH!" Koji quickly did the only thing he could think of: he shot it one hell of an uppercut.
Tasuki was lifted off his feet with a CRACK to rival Subaru and Tokaki's and dumped unceremoniously on the floor. Koji could only stare.
Someone really needed to clean under that shelf. Tasuki had come out entirely gray, except for his hair which still retained the white dye and somehow made it dust-proof. All the way down from his neck to his torso the robe, which had been a sort of dark red, was now dark gray. His skin hadn't fared much better.
"Damnit Koji, what'd I ever do to you?" he groaned, sitting up and rubbing his jaw. Even through the dust it was plain to see a nice bruise forming where Koji'd gotten him.
"That's the least of you're problems, Houki's gonna ******* kill ya for doin' that to her wardrobe." He held out a hand and hauled Tasuki to his feet, frantically attempting to brush the dust off his friend's robe. "I told you she wouldn't like it."
"YA! I look like a ******* mouse!" Tasuki cried, getting a good look at himself at last.
"And this stuff ain't comin' off, it's stickin' to the fabric!" It was woefully true: whatever fabric the robe was made of (Koji could give less about things like that) was grabbing the dust tighter than Velcro. The first layer came off, but Tasuki was still very gray underneath.
Tasuki scrubbed at his face and hands to get the stuff off his skin as Mitsukake searched for the best dust remover in the world: duck tape. But the search was futile, not a scrap was to be seen, must less the amount it was going to take to clean Tasuki. "Maybe they have some in wardrobe, we're fresh out." He held up an empty cardboard roll, the inside of which was plastered with the same Nashua logo repeated over and over, the only trace left of the shiny, silvery Wonder Tape.
Tasuki groaned and ran through the list of places where he could possibly find some, or a whatever-the-hell those things were called, a clothes brush. He'd never needed one before in his life. Shop - out, he'd checked at the beginning of rehearsal. Booth - duh. House - if any was there, he'd never find it in the near dark. Stage - couldn't possibly get up there without being seen. Make-up - possibility, about his best one at this point. Wardrobe - ONLY as a last resort.
He quickly made up his mind and steeled his courage. "All right, I'm gonna go see if Soi has any. Are you sure we don't even have masking tape? Scotch tape? Anything?" He groaned again as Koji and Mitsukake both silently and grimly shook their heads. "Good god… we're goin' downhill, fast. Tomorrow we're gonna go stock up on this stuff. And then we're having a little fix-the-board lesson. Got that?" They both nodded solemnly. It would've been funny if Tasuki wasn't sure he was going to die in the next five minutes. He took a deep breath and slipped out of the booth, blessing the dark that gave him fairly good cover - at least he appeared to be all one color.
Tamahome was sitting in the make-up chair and Soi was sponging what amounted to greenish-grayish war paint over every inch of skin that would be exposed by his costume (his face, neck, and halfway up his arms for good measure) when Tasuki burst in, panting frantically. The lighting in that room was much better than the booth and it was hard to miss the dust. "Soi, quick! Help me!"
Soi could only stare in horror.
"You're a dead man," Tama said simply.
"Don't tell me what I already ******* know, HELP ME!"
"Well what do you expect us to do?"
"Have any tape handy?!"
Soi shook her head morosely. "We don't use tape a lot here, just to label things like lipstick. We've never had to keep a roll here, although that might be a good idea if this is gonna happen again…"
Tasuki let out a half-sigh, half-sob. "I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead…"
"Who's dead?"
Subaru was in the door, finally in costume (and unmaimed). As the beauty Scrooge was engaged to when he was younger, she certainly fit the part - and even in his certain dead-ness Tasuki had to grin wolfishly, which was what had gotten him in hot water with Tokaki in the first place.
Subaru chose not to notice it this time in the face of a minor crisis. "I retract the question, you're very dead." She stared grimly at his robe. The dust thing had happened before, but it hadn't mattered until now because he'd always been in his regular, beat-up clothes that could be easily brushed off. "Want me to go see if I can grab a clothes brush? I think I saw one in wardrobe."
He nodded violently. "Hell yeah, PLEASE Subaru. I don't wanna be Scrooge, but I don't wanna be DEAD either."
"I'll try, gimme a minute." She turned and carefully walked back to wardrobe (she still had to get used to the shoes), determined to complete her quest.
AUTHOR'S NOTES II: ~shrugs innocently~ What? I'm a Byakko girl at heart ~_~