Chapter 2
2 months later
Angel sighs finding Dawn on the couch watching home movies of her, Joyce and Buffy "Dawnie are you hungry?"
Dawn shakes her head
Angel sits beside her "You OK?"
"Yeah. Not bursting into tears" she gives him a weak smile "big improvement"
Angel smiles pulling Dawn into his arms hugging her "Cryings not a big deal."
Dawn closes her eyes revelling in the feeling of Angel hugging her "I know" she pulls back "Thanks Angel."
"For what?" he asks quizzically
"For taking care of me. And putting up with my tantrums"
Angel smiles "No problem Mouse"
Dawn groans "Angel I'm too old for that nickname"
Angel kisses her forehead "Pizza for dinner?"
Dawn nods grinning "Sure"
"Good"
Dawn watches as Angel walks out of the livingroom 'Two years today Mommy. I miss you'
Month later
"Happy birthday" Angel says as Dawn enters the kitchen
"Yeah yeah yeah" Dawn grumbles sitting at the table "its my birthday"
Angel sets a plate of blueberry pancakes infront of Dawn "Still avoiding your birthday?"
"I don't avoid it... I just don't celebrate it. Mom was the one who made a big deal out of birthdays"
"I remember" Angel smiles faintly remembering Joyce's reactions to her daughters birthdays
"I gotta go. I'm going to be late" Dawn says taking a quick bite of her pancakes "Thanks"
Evening
"Here" Angel hands Dawn a box "Happy Birthday Dawn" he smiles
Dawn takes the box holding it on her lap she opens it grinning when she finds a Palm Pilot. She grins at Angel "Thanks Angel your the best"
"Its also able to send emails. But Dawnie please no sending emails during class"
"I won't" Dawn assures setting the box aside "Thanks Angel" she hugs him
"Your welcome" he smiles hugging her back "Now how about we go snag some ice cream"
"Yeah" Dawn jumps up following Angel into the kitchen
"How was your day?" he asks opening the freezer
Dawn looks Angel over the mentally shakes her head 'Damn it Dawn its Angel' "Uh fine" she says looking away
"Did your Dad call?" Angel asks looking at the teen
"No I don't even know where he is"
Angel sets the carton of ice cream down on the counter "Bowl or carton?"
"Carton"
Angel smiles handing Dawn a spoon
Dawn grins digging in "I love ice cream" she sighs taking a bite
"You always have" Angel says looking at her thoughtfully "I remember the time your Mom asked me to keep an eye on you while she ran some errands"
Dawn giggles "We finished off Buffy's private ice cream stash"
"She wasn't happy about that" Angel chuckles
Dawn sobers "I miss them"
Angel nods "So do I"
The two sit there silently eating ice cream
Next Day
"So what did you do last night?" Tanya asks
"Hung out with Angel and ate ice cream" Dawn shrugs
"You two spend a lot of time together" Joanne remarks
"Angel's a firm believer in talking" Dawn says "Its how he was raised. He once told me that the rule in his house was that everyone had to be home for dinner. When I moved in he made one straight rule... one night a week we have dinner together no matter what."
"I'd love to spend time with him" Tanya sighs
"Dawn you ever seen him in the buff?" Joanne asks curiously a smile on her face
"Guys come on" Dawn says embarassed
"Have you?" Lauren asks
"No" Dawn answers
"Ever thought of taking a peek?" Tanya asks with a grin
"No" Dawn says quickly
"Sure you haven't" Tanya smirks
"Come on guys new topic" Dawn pleads
Over a month later
i'Todays the day. Exactly 2 years since Buffy died' /i Dawn pauses in her writing for a moment then continues i 'Angel's been drinking since he got home from work. He's sitting at the kitchen table looking through photo albulms and drinking.
Poor Angel... he loved Buffy so much. He still does I see it in his eyes.
I wish a guy like Angel would love me like Angel loves Buffy.' /i
Dawn looks at a picture of her, Buffy and Angel sitting on her nightstand then back at her journal she writes again
i 'I hope one day Angel will be happy again. Like he was with Buffy. I know its not Darla who will make him happy.' /i
Dawn closes her eyes "I can" she sighs "what am I thinking?!" she shakes her head closing her journal she sets it on her nightstand
After midnight
"NO" Dawn awakens with a gasp tears streaming down her face. She wipes at them as she stands making her way out of her room down the stairs. She enters the livingroom where she finds Angel staring at a picture of he and Buffy. She touches his shoulder
Angel looks up at Dawn "Dawn its late. What are you doing up?"
"Nightmare" she answers sitting on the arm of the recliner "You been to bed?"
"No" Angel closes his eyes
Dawn leans against him "I miss her too"
After a moment Angel looks at her "You've been crying" he remarks wiping at the tears on her cheek
"I had a dream"
"About Buffy" he nods "I have those too. Almost every time I close my eyes" he blinks back tears "She brought me back"
Dawn sniffles "I miss them Angel" she says tears beginning to fall
"Don't cry Dawnie" he lifts his hand to her cheek
Unconsciously Dawn nuzzles his hand "Your crying" she says touching his cheek
Angel pulls her onto his lap "Don't cry Dawnie" he kisses her forehead
Dawn looks at him
Angel kisses her cheek gently
Dawn wipes away his tears then kisses his cheek
After a second Angel leans in kissing Dawn on the lips. He pulls back 'Strawberries' he thinks before kissing her again.
Dawn moans as he deepens the kiss her hands clutching at his shirt
While later Dawn moans as Angel's naked body covers hers
"Dawn?"
Dawn touches his lips with her finger "I just want one night to forget. To not feel as though I'm dying. One night" she replaces her finger with her lips "Please" she whispers kissing him desperately
Midmorning
Angel awakens to the sound of the phone ringing. Blindly he grabs it "What?" he says groggily
"Uh sir you have a meeting in half an hour" the secretary reminds
Angel frowns feeling a warm body curled up against his "Reschedule it. I won't be coming in today." he hangs up shifting he groans seeing who it is. 'Dawn' he sits up running his fingers through his hair 'I had sex with Dawn' he realizes noticing that their both naked. Quickly he gets out of bed pulling on some clothes
Dawn feels the bed shift she keeps her eyes closed until she hears the bedroom door close. 'He's feeling guilty' she gets out of bed pulling on her discarded pajamas. 'I can't let him feel like this.' she sets her jaw walking out of Angel's room into her own.
Hour later
Angel walks up the stairs from his basement exercise room to find Dawn at the counter in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the newspaper "Dawn"
Dawn looks up "Still some coffee left"
"Dawn we need to talk about what happened last night"
Dawn takes a drink of her coffee "Angel its fine. We got caught up in our emotions and things got out of hand."
"Dawn... I'm sorry I let things get out of hand. My drinking not an excuse for what happened thought it was a part of it."
"Angel no worries. It happened... it won't happen again. Its no ones fault. We'll chalk it up to comfort gone further than normal." she sets her mug in the sink passing Angel she scrunches up her nose. "Shower before you sit on the couch." she stands on her tiptoes kissing his cheek "We cool?"
Angel nods reluctantly "Dawn... I don't want what happened to ruin things between us. Your too important to me to lose"
"Then we won't let it come between us" she assures walking to the door she pauses "Thank you Angel"
"For what?"
Dawn looks at him with a faint smile "For the first time since Buffy's death I didn't wake up screaming and crying. I think I might have had a moment of peace. Thank you."
As she disappears Angel closes his eyes "I know the feeling"
Dawn enters her bedroom closing her eyes she takes a deep breath. After a few moments she goes to her nightstand taking out her journal. She settles on her bed beginning to write.
i 'Last night my dream came true. I had sex with Angel.' /i
She smiles faintly
i 'I think we did more than have sex... we made love. We kissed and I found myself in bed his naked body covering mine.
God his body. I always knew he had a great body but wow. He's so strong yet so gentle. When he realized I was a virgin he was tender. He felt so good inside me... so right. I've never felt as safe as last night in his bed.' /i
Dawn glances at the picture of her, Buffy and Angel then sighs
i 'I think I'm in love with him, the man my sister loved more than anything. I've always loved him as a brother or as a friend but now... I think I'm in love with him.' /i
'I'm so sorry Buffy' Dawn blinks back tears closing her journal she picks up the picture absently touching Angel's face. With a sigh she shoves the picture in her nightstand drawer
her head closing her journal she sets it on her nightstand
After midnight
"NO" Dawn awakens with a gasp tears streaming down her face. She wipes at them as she stands making her way out of her room down the stairs. She enters the livingroom where she finds Angel staring at a picture of he and Buffy. She touches his shoulder
Angel looks up at Dawn "Dawn its late. What are you doing up?"
"Nightmare" she answers sitting on the arm of the recliner "You been to bed?"
"No" Angel closes his eyes
Dawn leans against him "I miss her too"
After a moment Angel looks at her "You've been crying" he remarks wiping at the tears on her cheek
"I had a dream"
"About Buffy" he nods "I have those too. Almost every time I close my eyes" he blinks back tears "She brought me back"
Dawn sniffles "I miss them Angel" she says tears beginning to fall
"Don't cry Dawnie" he lifts his hand to her cheek
Unconsciously Dawn nuzzles his hand "Your crying" she says touching his cheek
Angel pulls her onto his lap "Don't cry Dawnie" he kisses her forehead
Dawn looks at him
Angel kisses her cheek gently
Dawn wipes away his tears then kisses his cheek
After a second Angel leans in kissing Dawn on the lips. He pulls back 'Strawberries' he thinks before kissing her again.
Dawn moans as he deepens the kiss her hands clutching at his shirt
While later Dawn moans as Angel's naked body covers hers
"Dawn?"
Dawn touches his lips with her finger "I just want one night to forget. To not feel as though I'm dying. One night" she replaces her finger with her lips "Please" she whispers kissing him desperately
Midmorning
Angel awakens to the sound of the phone ringing. Blindly he grabs it "What?" he says groggily
"Uh sir you have a meeting in half an hour" the secretary reminds
Angel frowns feeling a warm body curled up against his "Reschedule it. I won't be coming in today." he hangs up shifting he groans seeing who it is. 'Dawn' he sits up running his fingers through his hair 'I had sex with Dawn' he realizes noticing that their both naked. Quickly he gets out of bed pulling on some clothes
Dawn feels the bed shift she keeps her eyes closed until she hears the bedroom door close. 'He's feeling guilty' she gets out of bed pulling on her discarded pajamas. 'I can't let him feel like this.' she sets her jaw walking out of Angel's room into her own.
Hour later
Angel walks up the stairs from his basement exercise room to find Dawn at the counter in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the newspaper "Dawn"
Dawn looks up "Still some coffee left"
"Dawn we need to talk about what happened last night"
Dawn takes a drink of her coffee "Angel its fine. We got caught up in our emotions and things got out of hand."
"Dawn... I'm sorry I let things get out of hand. My drinking not an excuse for what happened thought it was a part of it."
"Angel no worries. It happened... it won't happen again. Its no ones fault. We'll chalk it up to comfort gone further than normal." she sets her mug in the sink passing Angel she scrunches up her nose. "Shower before you sit on the couch." she stands on her tiptoes kissing his cheek "We cool?"
Angel nods reluctantly "Dawn... I don't want what happened to ruin things between us. Your too important to me to lose"
"Then we won't let it come between us" she assures walking to the door she pauses "Thank you Angel"
"For what?"
Dawn looks at him with a faint smile "For the first time since Buffy's death I didn't wake up screaming and crying. I think I might have had a moment of peace. Thank you."
As she disappears Angel closes his eyes "I know the feeling"
Dawn enters her bedroom closing her eyes she takes a deep breath. After a few moments she goes to her nightstand taking out her journal. She settles on her bed beginning to write.
'Last night my dream came true. I had sex with Angel.'
She smiles faintly
'I think we did more than have sex... we made love. We kissed and I found myself in bed his naked body covering mine.
God… his body. I always knew he had a great body but wow. He's so strong yet so gentle. When he realized I was a virgin he was tender. He felt so good inside me... so right. I've never felt as safe as last night in his bed.'
Dawn glances at the picture of her, Buffy and Angel then sighs
'I think I'm in love with him, the man my sister loved more than anything. I've always loved him as a brother or as a friend but now... I think I'm in love with him.'
'I'm so sorry Buffy' Dawn blinks back tears closing her journal she picks up the picture absently touching Angel's face. With a sigh she shoves the picture in her nightstand drawer
2 months later
Angel sighs finding Dawn on the couch watching home movies of her, Joyce and Buffy "Dawnie are you hungry?"
Dawn shakes her head
Angel sits beside her "You OK?"
"Yeah. Not bursting into tears" she gives him a weak smile "big improvement"
Angel smiles pulling Dawn into his arms hugging her "Cryings not a big deal."
Dawn closes her eyes revelling in the feeling of Angel hugging her "I know" she pulls back "Thanks Angel."
"For what?" he asks quizzically
"For taking care of me. And putting up with my tantrums"
Angel smiles "No problem Mouse"
Dawn groans "Angel I'm too old for that nickname"
Angel kisses her forehead "Pizza for dinner?"
Dawn nods grinning "Sure"
"Good"
Dawn watches as Angel walks out of the livingroom 'Two years today Mommy. I miss you'
Month later
"Happy birthday" Angel says as Dawn enters the kitchen
"Yeah yeah yeah" Dawn grumbles sitting at the table "its my birthday"
Angel sets a plate of blueberry pancakes infront of Dawn "Still avoiding your birthday?"
"I don't avoid it... I just don't celebrate it. Mom was the one who made a big deal out of birthdays"
"I remember" Angel smiles faintly remembering Joyce's reactions to her daughters birthdays
"I gotta go. I'm going to be late" Dawn says taking a quick bite of her pancakes "Thanks"
Evening
"Here" Angel hands Dawn a box "Happy Birthday Dawn" he smiles
Dawn takes the box holding it on her lap she opens it grinning when she finds a Palm Pilot. She grins at Angel "Thanks Angel your the best"
"Its also able to send emails. But Dawnie please no sending emails during class"
"I won't" Dawn assures setting the box aside "Thanks Angel" she hugs him
"Your welcome" he smiles hugging her back "Now how about we go snag some ice cream"
"Yeah" Dawn jumps up following Angel into the kitchen
"How was your day?" he asks opening the freezer
Dawn looks Angel over the mentally shakes her head 'Damn it Dawn its Angel' "Uh fine" she says looking away
"Did your Dad call?" Angel asks looking at the teen
"No I don't even know where he is"
Angel sets the carton of ice cream down on the counter "Bowl or carton?"
"Carton"
Angel smiles handing Dawn a spoon
Dawn grins digging in "I love ice cream" she sighs taking a bite
"You always have" Angel says looking at her thoughtfully "I remember the time your Mom asked me to keep an eye on you while she ran some errands"
Dawn giggles "We finished off Buffy's private ice cream stash"
"She wasn't happy about that" Angel chuckles
Dawn sobers "I miss them"
Angel nods "So do I"
The two sit there silently eating ice cream
Next Day
"So what did you do last night?" Tanya asks
"Hung out with Angel and ate ice cream" Dawn shrugs
"You two spend a lot of time together" Joanne remarks
"Angel's a firm believer in talking" Dawn says "Its how he was raised. He once told me that the rule in his house was that everyone had to be home for dinner. When I moved in he made one straight rule... one night a week we have dinner together no matter what."
"I'd love to spend time with him" Tanya sighs
"Dawn you ever seen him in the buff?" Joanne asks curiously a smile on her face
"Guys come on" Dawn says embarassed
"Have you?" Lauren asks
"No" Dawn answers
"Ever thought of taking a peek?" Tanya asks with a grin
"No" Dawn says quickly
"Sure you haven't" Tanya smirks
"Come on guys new topic" Dawn pleads
Over a month later
i'Todays the day. Exactly 2 years since Buffy died' /i Dawn pauses in her writing for a moment then continues i 'Angel's been drinking since he got home from work. He's sitting at the kitchen table looking through photo albulms and drinking.
Poor Angel... he loved Buffy so much. He still does I see it in his eyes.
I wish a guy like Angel would love me like Angel loves Buffy.' /i
Dawn looks at a picture of her, Buffy and Angel sitting on her nightstand then back at her journal she writes again
i 'I hope one day Angel will be happy again. Like he was with Buffy. I know its not Darla who will make him happy.' /i
Dawn closes her eyes "I can" she sighs "what am I thinking?!" she shakes her head closing her journal she sets it on her nightstand
After midnight
"NO" Dawn awakens with a gasp tears streaming down her face. She wipes at them as she stands making her way out of her room down the stairs. She enters the livingroom where she finds Angel staring at a picture of he and Buffy. She touches his shoulder
Angel looks up at Dawn "Dawn its late. What are you doing up?"
"Nightmare" she answers sitting on the arm of the recliner "You been to bed?"
"No" Angel closes his eyes
Dawn leans against him "I miss her too"
After a moment Angel looks at her "You've been crying" he remarks wiping at the tears on her cheek
"I had a dream"
"About Buffy" he nods "I have those too. Almost every time I close my eyes" he blinks back tears "She brought me back"
Dawn sniffles "I miss them Angel" she says tears beginning to fall
"Don't cry Dawnie" he lifts his hand to her cheek
Unconsciously Dawn nuzzles his hand "Your crying" she says touching his cheek
Angel pulls her onto his lap "Don't cry Dawnie" he kisses her forehead
Dawn looks at him
Angel kisses her cheek gently
Dawn wipes away his tears then kisses his cheek
After a second Angel leans in kissing Dawn on the lips. He pulls back 'Strawberries' he thinks before kissing her again.
Dawn moans as he deepens the kiss her hands clutching at his shirt
While later Dawn moans as Angel's naked body covers hers
"Dawn?"
Dawn touches his lips with her finger "I just want one night to forget. To not feel as though I'm dying. One night" she replaces her finger with her lips "Please" she whispers kissing him desperately
Midmorning
Angel awakens to the sound of the phone ringing. Blindly he grabs it "What?" he says groggily
"Uh sir you have a meeting in half an hour" the secretary reminds
Angel frowns feeling a warm body curled up against his "Reschedule it. I won't be coming in today." he hangs up shifting he groans seeing who it is. 'Dawn' he sits up running his fingers through his hair 'I had sex with Dawn' he realizes noticing that their both naked. Quickly he gets out of bed pulling on some clothes
Dawn feels the bed shift she keeps her eyes closed until she hears the bedroom door close. 'He's feeling guilty' she gets out of bed pulling on her discarded pajamas. 'I can't let him feel like this.' she sets her jaw walking out of Angel's room into her own.
Hour later
Angel walks up the stairs from his basement exercise room to find Dawn at the counter in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the newspaper "Dawn"
Dawn looks up "Still some coffee left"
"Dawn we need to talk about what happened last night"
Dawn takes a drink of her coffee "Angel its fine. We got caught up in our emotions and things got out of hand."
"Dawn... I'm sorry I let things get out of hand. My drinking not an excuse for what happened thought it was a part of it."
"Angel no worries. It happened... it won't happen again. Its no ones fault. We'll chalk it up to comfort gone further than normal." she sets her mug in the sink passing Angel she scrunches up her nose. "Shower before you sit on the couch." she stands on her tiptoes kissing his cheek "We cool?"
Angel nods reluctantly "Dawn... I don't want what happened to ruin things between us. Your too important to me to lose"
"Then we won't let it come between us" she assures walking to the door she pauses "Thank you Angel"
"For what?"
Dawn looks at him with a faint smile "For the first time since Buffy's death I didn't wake up screaming and crying. I think I might have had a moment of peace. Thank you."
As she disappears Angel closes his eyes "I know the feeling"
Dawn enters her bedroom closing her eyes she takes a deep breath. After a few moments she goes to her nightstand taking out her journal. She settles on her bed beginning to write.
i 'Last night my dream came true. I had sex with Angel.' /i
She smiles faintly
i 'I think we did more than have sex... we made love. We kissed and I found myself in bed his naked body covering mine.
God his body. I always knew he had a great body but wow. He's so strong yet so gentle. When he realized I was a virgin he was tender. He felt so good inside me... so right. I've never felt as safe as last night in his bed.' /i
Dawn glances at the picture of her, Buffy and Angel then sighs
i 'I think I'm in love with him, the man my sister loved more than anything. I've always loved him as a brother or as a friend but now... I think I'm in love with him.' /i
'I'm so sorry Buffy' Dawn blinks back tears closing her journal she picks up the picture absently touching Angel's face. With a sigh she shoves the picture in her nightstand drawer
her head closing her journal she sets it on her nightstand
After midnight
"NO" Dawn awakens with a gasp tears streaming down her face. She wipes at them as she stands making her way out of her room down the stairs. She enters the livingroom where she finds Angel staring at a picture of he and Buffy. She touches his shoulder
Angel looks up at Dawn "Dawn its late. What are you doing up?"
"Nightmare" she answers sitting on the arm of the recliner "You been to bed?"
"No" Angel closes his eyes
Dawn leans against him "I miss her too"
After a moment Angel looks at her "You've been crying" he remarks wiping at the tears on her cheek
"I had a dream"
"About Buffy" he nods "I have those too. Almost every time I close my eyes" he blinks back tears "She brought me back"
Dawn sniffles "I miss them Angel" she says tears beginning to fall
"Don't cry Dawnie" he lifts his hand to her cheek
Unconsciously Dawn nuzzles his hand "Your crying" she says touching his cheek
Angel pulls her onto his lap "Don't cry Dawnie" he kisses her forehead
Dawn looks at him
Angel kisses her cheek gently
Dawn wipes away his tears then kisses his cheek
After a second Angel leans in kissing Dawn on the lips. He pulls back 'Strawberries' he thinks before kissing her again.
Dawn moans as he deepens the kiss her hands clutching at his shirt
While later Dawn moans as Angel's naked body covers hers
"Dawn?"
Dawn touches his lips with her finger "I just want one night to forget. To not feel as though I'm dying. One night" she replaces her finger with her lips "Please" she whispers kissing him desperately
Midmorning
Angel awakens to the sound of the phone ringing. Blindly he grabs it "What?" he says groggily
"Uh sir you have a meeting in half an hour" the secretary reminds
Angel frowns feeling a warm body curled up against his "Reschedule it. I won't be coming in today." he hangs up shifting he groans seeing who it is. 'Dawn' he sits up running his fingers through his hair 'I had sex with Dawn' he realizes noticing that their both naked. Quickly he gets out of bed pulling on some clothes
Dawn feels the bed shift she keeps her eyes closed until she hears the bedroom door close. 'He's feeling guilty' she gets out of bed pulling on her discarded pajamas. 'I can't let him feel like this.' she sets her jaw walking out of Angel's room into her own.
Hour later
Angel walks up the stairs from his basement exercise room to find Dawn at the counter in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the newspaper "Dawn"
Dawn looks up "Still some coffee left"
"Dawn we need to talk about what happened last night"
Dawn takes a drink of her coffee "Angel its fine. We got caught up in our emotions and things got out of hand."
"Dawn... I'm sorry I let things get out of hand. My drinking not an excuse for what happened thought it was a part of it."
"Angel no worries. It happened... it won't happen again. Its no ones fault. We'll chalk it up to comfort gone further than normal." she sets her mug in the sink passing Angel she scrunches up her nose. "Shower before you sit on the couch." she stands on her tiptoes kissing his cheek "We cool?"
Angel nods reluctantly "Dawn... I don't want what happened to ruin things between us. Your too important to me to lose"
"Then we won't let it come between us" she assures walking to the door she pauses "Thank you Angel"
"For what?"
Dawn looks at him with a faint smile "For the first time since Buffy's death I didn't wake up screaming and crying. I think I might have had a moment of peace. Thank you."
As she disappears Angel closes his eyes "I know the feeling"
Dawn enters her bedroom closing her eyes she takes a deep breath. After a few moments she goes to her nightstand taking out her journal. She settles on her bed beginning to write.
'Last night my dream came true. I had sex with Angel.'
She smiles faintly
'I think we did more than have sex... we made love. We kissed and I found myself in bed his naked body covering mine.
God… his body. I always knew he had a great body but wow. He's so strong yet so gentle. When he realized I was a virgin he was tender. He felt so good inside me... so right. I've never felt as safe as last night in his bed.'
Dawn glances at the picture of her, Buffy and Angel then sighs
'I think I'm in love with him, the man my sister loved more than anything. I've always loved him as a brother or as a friend but now... I think I'm in love with him.'
'I'm so sorry Buffy' Dawn blinks back tears closing her journal she picks up the picture absently touching Angel's face. With a sigh she shoves the picture in her nightstand drawer