Caroline & Lost Love

Chapter Two

By: Jana~

~~Disclaimer~~

(Link doesn't work? See below.)

*****

--"Hey Care…" Annie greeted her friend as she walked in the door… "Where's Richie?" She headed straight for the coffeemaker…

"The gallery. Raymond called, freaking out about something…"

"Raymond? Which one is he? The short, gay one with the dark glasses?"

"No, that's Howard. Raymond is the gallery assistant… tall, no glasses…"

"Oh, right, the only straight guy down there besides Richie!"

Caroline barely acknowledged her… "Mmm…"

"So… 7th anniversary comin' up, huh? What do you have planned?"

"Nothing really…" she continued working on her comic strip…

"Why not? Seven years of marriage is nothing to sneeze at!"

"I guess." She set her pencil down and wheeled towards the kitchen with her empty coffee mug…

"Hey, you know what the 7th anniversary is, right?"

Caroline shrugged… "Gold? Silver?"

Annie shook her head… "Righteous sex!"

Caroline forced a smirk as she struggled to wheel back to her drafting table with her full cup of hot coffee… Annie grabbed it and helped her…

--One thing Annie noticed after the shooting, as the years had passed… her best friend became distant and withdrawn. She thought that time would heal her wounds and she'd eventually regain some of her previous perkiness, but it didn't… it only got worse. Like she was just going through the motions of life.

"So, ya'know, if you and Richie wanna take off for the weekend or something, I'll watch Salty for ya."

"Thanks, but I don't think we'll be going anywhere."

"Why not?"

Caroline sighed… "What's the point?"

"What's the point?" Annie repeated… "Sex in your own bed gets boring! Going on a romantic getaway can spice things up! It keeps sex fresh and fun!"

"Yeah, that's not really an issue." Caroline's gaze never left her panel…

Annie watched her for a moment, a sudden twinge of concern creeping into her heart… "Caroline? Is something wrong?"

She stopped drawing, but her eyes remained on her work…

"Caroline?" she approached and set her hand on her shoulder… "You know you can talk to me, right?"

She hesitated before answering… "I know."

"What's going on? Is something going on between you and Richie?" She could tell by her silence that something was wrong… "Talk to me Caroline."

"It's nothing. Really…"

"I don't think so. You need to talk to me Caroline. Is Richie… doing something?"

Caroline just looked at her for a moment, then… comprehension. Annie thought Richard was hurting her… "No, Annie! No. It's nothing like that."

"Then, what is it?"

"I really shouldn't say. You know how Richard likes his privacy…"

"This isn't about Richie! This is about you! Talk to me."

"It's just… after the accident… things changed."

Annie frowned in concentration, trying to understand… "Yeah…?"

"In the bedroom…" Caroline added shyly…

"Oh!" Annie finally caught on… "Why? What's the problem?"

"The shooting messed things up for me. I can't really… feel… anything."

"At all?"

"Pretty much."

"Oh, hun, I'm so sorry."

"And I guess that fact turned Richard off, cause he won't make love to me anymore."

"Oh, hunny! At all?"

"Well, no. Not exactly…"

"How often do you two… mix it up?"

"Twice a year." she admitted hesitantly… "Sometimes three times…"

Annie gasped in surprise…

"And, ok, I can't feel anything… but I like being connected to him… in that way… ya'know?"

"Well, yeah! Sweetie, have you talked to him?"

"Yeah. He always has an excuse or whatever. He says he loves me…"

Annie shook her head… "What does he do? Go solo?"

"I'm afraid to ask."

"Oh, sweetie, that's just not right!"

"Maybe. And I know I should just be grateful that he's still here…"

"What?"

"Because he stayed… even though I'm disabled…"

"How magnanimous of him!" Annie scoffed… "So, because you're in a wheelchair, he doesn't have to show you physical love?"

"He does. He kisses me."

"Deep and passionate or little pecks?"

Caroline winced… "Pecks."

"Caroline, you shouldn't have to settle for a lack-luster love life just cause you're in a wheelchair! What he's doing to you isn't right!"

"He's a good man, Annie. He just… he just doesn't find me desirable any longer. I can't blame him really…"

"What?!"

"Let's be honest Annie… I'm not the woman he fell in love with. I'm lucky he's here with me. I'm lucky to have him."

"God, hunny, why didn't you talk to me about this earlier?"

She shrugged… "I didn't want to burden you…"

"Bull Caroline. You didn't cause you knew I'd ream you out! And kill him! You don't have to take this from him!"

"Take what from whom?" Richard asked as he walked through the door…

When Annie opened her mouth to chew him out, Caroline rolled in front of her… "The long distance sales pushers…" she quickly replied… "How was everything at the gallery?"

"Oh, fine. You know how Howard freaks. And Ray just can't cope with him." He smiled and kissed her hello… "You have that panel ready for me to color yet?"

"Yeah." Caroline shot Annie a look, telling her to drop the conversation, to which Annie rolled her eyes…

"I'll see ya later, Caroline. We'll talk later." Annie emphasized the word 'talk', throwing Richard a dirty look that he didn't see before turning to leave…

She frowned at her friend's retreating back… "Ok, Annie."

Richard sat at his drafting table while Caroline rolled up to the lowered table… "What was that all about?"

Caroline shrugged as she handed Richard the finished panel… "Just Annie being Annie."

He nodded with a smile… "Enough said." He got to work right away, picking and choosing colors he would need, rethinking them and choosing different colors… and the entire time, she watched him. "Why are you staring at me Caroline?"

"Just thinking…"

"About?"

"Well, our anniversary is coming up…"

He looked up and smiled warmly at her… "I know."

"And I was thinking… maybe we could do something special?"

"Like what?"

"Well, maybe we could go away for the weekend?"

He looked up from his work… "Well, that weekend I have the opening with the new artists…"

"Can't Ray handle it?"

He shook his head… "Ray is a great assistant… great for spotting talent… he does not do well under pressure."

"Well, we could go the weekend after, maybe."

"Where is it you want to go exactly?"

"I don't know…" she started to fidget… "Someplace… romantic?"

His eyes left her and slowly moved back to the panel… "Who would watch Salty?"

"Annie volunteered." She replied quickly, taking his question as a sign he was considering it…

"I don't know if I can get away from the gallery…"

Disappointed, she looked away… "Ok, then…" she fought back her tears… "It was just a thought…"

"Maybe some other time. We can go out to dinner though. Anywhere you want."

"Ok. Petries I guess."

"Sure!" he smiled… "I'll make the reservations as soon as I'm done here."

She nodded, then wheeled to the bathroom.

--Once in the bathroom, she turned on the water to drown out the sound of her crying. She silently cursed Annie for putting ideas in her head… it was hard enough coping with Richard's lack of attention… but she set herself up for that rejection. Of course he'd say 'no'.

But it wasn't really Annie she was mad at… or even Richard… it was herself. Although she'd never admit it to Richard or her friends, she blamed herself for being disabled.

If she hadn't gone to the deli… if she had ordered Chinese food or pizza, something that could've been delivered. If she had just dropped to the floor a few moments sooner… then she wouldn't be paralyzed in a wheelchair, and Richard would still be attracted to her.

--She splashed cold water on her face and patted it dry, then checked her reflection in the mirror… her eyes were still a little puffy. It would have to do… she had work to do.

--"Are you alright?" Richard asked considerately…

"Yeah…" she lied… "Did you have plans for lunch?"

"No, why? Did you?"

"Kinda. I wanted to eat with Annie at Remo's."

"Sure. I'll grab a bite at the gallery."

She nodded, then headed for the door…

"Where are you going?" he asked as she grabbed her coat…

"Remo's? Annie?" she reminded…

He checked his watch… "Kinda early for lunch…"

"We'll eat brunch then."

He smiled… "Ok. Have fun."

--Caroline rolled to Annie's door and knocked twice… loudly…

"Hey Caroline…"

"Wanna go to Remo's?"

Annie scowled in confusion, noticing her friend seemed upset… "Sure." She grabbed her coat off the hook… "Is something wrong?" she added as she slipped her arms into the sleeves…

"I'll fill you in when we get there."

"Ok." She nodded in agreement as she shut and locked the door…

TO BE CONTINUED…

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