Moments.
-a Wufei pov
-by Luciole Loong
Really?
I don't know.
I miss her. Does she know? …Of course not. What was she thinking, at the end?
Does she know that I feel for her? That now I finally understand what she's
fighting for? I don't think so. She just said that I'm stronger. That doesn't
mean anything. Perhaps at the end, she wills it… perhaps she is glad to know
that finally, I, her husband is not all a nerdy wimp.
I am glad her end was blissful. I am glad her end was at a place she loves, and that she went peacefully, in my arms, and quietly. I held her for a moment, and at that moment my heart is hers, and for all eternity my heart will be hers. And she doesn't even know. She left me, but in a way, she's still in my heart.
…Does she know that I feel this way? I… don't think so. Perhaps, even after the end, she still thinks that I am the hard headed fool who wouldn't even let her rest her head on my shoulder.
Like the saying of how life is like a sparrow? Flying? A sparrow which has
never been anywhere in its life but in the darkness and emptiness, suddenly
flies through a room of warmth and light… and flies out the other end…
And its life has been changed forever, and everything it can remember is that
in one brief instant it truly lived and knew that it was living…. And it realized
about the darkness, and it knows that after this there'll be nothing to remember,
ever, except that one moment of warmth and light.
I miss her.
For one moment I realized who I am, what I am living for, who I am fighting
for, and everything falls into place.
The next moment, it was all taken away from me, and it all lost its meaning.
Back into the darkness.
But the memory of her and that smile, I will remember all my life, and that
is really what kept me going. Her spirit is so strong, it lived inside of me.
Do I really understand what she is fighting for? I have vague ideas but… I
know I just have to keep on fighting. It doesn't matter whose side I'm on. Its
all the same. When I fight, I don't have to think about her.
When I fight, I don't have to be lost.
They don't understand me. How can they understand how I feel? What I went through? What I am fighting for? Their purpose are vague, but mine, mine is solid, I am fighting for my love.
How fragile that time was. How quickly time passes. One moment here, one moment gone. If only I had said what I felt at the time, it would have changed everything for me. If only I had made a remark, if only I… but she left so quickly, with no warning, so soon. I was too late. I missed it by a few seconds but still, I missed it, and I was too late, and I had lost my chance forever.
After all that, I would never go to the field again.
………….
I miss her.
Will I see her again?
I pray for a miracle, a wish, that perhaps… perhaps at the last moment, she knew, without words.
……….
…………
…………..
I don't know.
I miss her.
=========================== = = = =
by Luciole Loong
luciole@pizza.co.jp
Comments and critiques welcome.
For Wufei fanart, please go to: geocities.com/windterritory