Out of the Black Years
come the words
the Herald of Death
Listen- it speaks to
those who were not born to die....
-'The Prophecy' Lord of the Rings Soundtrack
"Those who cling to life die, and those who defy death live."
-sengoku daimyô Uesugi Kenshin
Chapter 8- The Floating Bridge of Dreams
The figure was not what he expected, sitting
in an island of light. The tiny candles around her pushed back against
the pressing darkness, faintly illuminating the screened space, lighting
it enough to see. She did not look at him, but rather kept her eyes lowered
onto the silken strings, plucking out a delicate, sad rhythm, mournfully
filling the room with sound.
She plucked at the strings, small picks on
her fingers flashing as they moved. After a moment, a very light voice
began to sing in accompaniment, weaving in and out of the melody.
Otsuki miso wa nemurenai
Gin no shizuku o nonda kara
He hadn't seen either of the ghosts that he expected, but by description, he was assuming one was a young girl, and the other a young woman with short hair. This figure fit neither description. Though she was indeed a young woman, her hair was long and rich, falling around her in waves, bound back in loops behind her head. Nor did she dress in ash grey robes, but in shades of lavender, the old fashioned, layered attire of an ancient court. Practicality set in, and Inuyasha supposed that perhaps she had shifted her appearance to unsettle him. She had succeeded, he decided, giving her a moment to finish playing before questioning. There was room for doubt. Though he did want to get this over with, he didn't want to kill the wrong person. Dead already as they may be.
Andron, dron, naidron;
Yoru no koe mori ni watareba
Andron, dron, naidron;
Oyasumi, yoiko
Ura ni sogi no ki naitanara
Akai fuku kite, nigemasho
Oyasumi, yoiko
Oyasumi...
Her fingers stilled, lightly resting on the strings,
stilling the low vibration. It became very silent for a moment as he wondered
if she would speak first. Giving no indication of sound, he decided to
get to the point.
"Which one are you?"
"Which one do you think I am?"
He glared at the lowered face, the eyes that
would not meet his. Her fingers moved from the strings, which hummed lightly
as she lifted them, folding her hands into her long sleeves and kneeling
politely on the hardwood floor.
"Don't play stupid fucking games!"
The woman flinched, bowing her head and growing
somewhat small, almost cowering. "Gomen nasai. It is improper for a man
to speak to a woman without screens between them. I do not know how to
react. Forgive my rudeness."
Inuyasha stared at her for a moment, watching
her bowing from the waist, asking forgiveness for, what seemed to him,
an excess of politeness. Then again, taking in the way she was dressed,
the both richness and age of her surroundings, and the time frame this
mansion was made in, that her expectations of what was 'proper' were likely
very different from his. "Yeah well...I'm pretty rude normally, so stop
apologizing about it."
Still half bowing, she peered upward, revealing
her small face. Wide, vibrant lavender eyes peered up at him through a
pale face, fringed with heavy lashes. Color, he noticed, not white or blank.
She stared at him a moment, then a smile spread on her lips, and she covered
her mouth with her sleeve when she laughed once, very lightly. Inuyasha
hesitated, then came to the conclusion; "Feh. You're not the one attacking
anybody. You're the other one, Ukifune. The kid Shippou saw, aren't you?"
The lavender sleeve lowered to her lap, and
she averted her eyes again. "I am called Ukifune."
"Good. Maybe you can tell me what the hell's
going on." Satisfied that she wasn't likely to hurt him, despite the unusual
form she currently wore, Inuyasha sat himself down opposite her, the koto
between them. "Floor's damn hard. Don't you have any tatami on it?"
Bewildered, the girl blinked, "Tatami?"
"Floor mats? To make it softer? Shit, don't
your knees hurt, sitting like that?"
"Mats?" She considered this a moment. "Such
a thing would be much kinder on the knees, I suppose. Though this is the
way I was told to sit correctly."
Inuyasha suddenly became aware of exactly how uncivilized he
must look. Around the others, he didn't have to act any other way than
how he liked. Well, more or less. There was always the threat of 'osuwari.'
Across from this stranger though, he shuffled around a bit, trying to be
a bit more formal for once.
"Yeah, well...."
"You are pretty rude normally, so do not worry
about it," she told him, smiling a little, almost teasing. His ears pricked
up, catching the tone of her voice, and he understood she did not care
how he sat either. Though apparently she felt required to be formal herself.
"I thought you were a kid."
"Children grow up," she replied, then ran
a hand over the hem of her robes, quickly returning it inside its sleeve.
Then, quietly, "Children change."
Shippou mentioned Ukifune's tendency to start
acting strange, talking weirdly. Apparently, this was an example of her
metaphorical speaking, considering Inuyasha got the feeling she was thinking
of something entirely else while she spoke. He frowned, wishing she'd talk
plain. "So you just grew up?"
A small smile formed again, and she met his
eyes. "Growth is inevitable."
Inuyasha blinked. Now she was going philosophical.
Who did he look like? Miroku? Or Kagome? She read a lot of big books for
her precious 'tests.' Maybe she'd get this.
"Uh...yeah. Where is this place?"
Again, the smile faded, and she looked down
at the harpstrings. "This is where I live."
"This place has been under attack."
She winced, drawing in on herself.
"Kagome thinks you're fighting some other
yurei. I don't know if you are or not, but if its true I think you need
to kick the ass of whatever is trying to get to you. If this is your home,
you need to protect it."
Ukifune stared at him for a moment, a little
disbelievingly. "Kick the ass?"
He shrugged. "Fight back."
"This...this is where I live," she repeated
quietly, voice defeated.
The phrasing struck him somewhat oddly the
second time. She lived here. But it was not her home. Strange. "You grew
up here, didn't you? It's your home," he persisted, watching her face for
further reaction.
"Growing up in a place does not make it your
home."
She spoke simply this time, but it struck
coldly. Growing up in a place that was not her home. It sounded familiar.
Her fingers reached for the strings, and she plucked them for a moment,
the notes hanging in the air, breaking the silence.
"Where do you live, Inuyasha?"
"Nani?"
She met his eyes now, and the warmth had drained
away with the color, leaving the lavender pale and distant. This was not
real. It was a dream. But like a dream, he did not know how to escape it.
He wished somebody would wake him up.
A finger drew across the silk strings, and
a wash of music filled the room, blurring the edges of his vision, rippling
and distorting the little world around them. The scents of the room faded
away, rich incense and candle wax, slight smoke from the tiny candles.
Now they were replaced with the fragrance of flowers, blooming along walkways
that were familiar to him, if only in memory. The sound of gurgling water
filled his ears, and the sound of shouting and laughter.
It was a dim place, for all he remembered
it. In his memory, a place where it was never either full morning or full
evening, where the sun was never as bright as it could be, though perhaps
brighter than it could have been. It was a wealthy place, and the wings
of the mansion formed around him, wide and far away. He stood on a narrow
bridge, arching over a stream that ran through the courtyard, winding its
way out of the complex. Spinning around and searching for the one who brought
him here, he glanced down into the water below. His reflection was not
his own, though still his. Younger, smaller. Softer. He grimaced, and the
reflection imitated him, almost mocking, vanishing as he backed away in
distaste for the childlike reflection of himself.
He put a hand on Tetsusiaga, still at his
hip. It was a relief to have it there. A reminder that this was not reality.
It was a dream, and he would wake from it eventually. Maybe Kagome would
wake up and realize he was passed out or something. He didn't like relying
on chance.
A shout caught his attention, drawing his
eyes to a ring of men in the courtyard. A ball was being tossed between
them as they kicked it back and forth, keeping it from the ground. One
of the men hit it too hard, and it popped up, sailing over the heads of
the men across from him. Inuyasha backed up a step, almost ready to chase
it. But he froze, glaring at the ball instead as it bounced past him.
"What's 'hanyou'?"
The ball stilled at the hem of a long robe,
the bottom layer a deep purple. Two white hands reached down and picked
up the ball, cupping it lightly.
"Get me the hell out of here!" Inuyasha snarled
at Ukifune. This was one of the last places he wanted to be.
"Why? This is where you live."
"I get the fucking point! I grew up here,
but it's not home! Get me the hell out of here!"
She shook her head, eyes closed as her grip
on the ball tightened. "I used to like to play kemari too. But I was a
girl, and that was not proper. So no one played with me. They walked away."
She opened her eyes and looked behind him. Frowning suspiciously, he turned,
watching the older men fade away, walking inside, leaving them alone on
the bridge.
"So it happened to you too. Big shit. I survived
it just fine."
"Did you?"
She was looking at him evenly, eyes narrow
and hard. Watching him, Ukifune lifted the ball in her hands, tossing it
into the air. With surreal slowness, it floated rather than flew, pausing
in the air between them, glowing transparent, glowing divine, glittering
in the world's dimness. "All your life, what did you want to become?"
His eyes narrowed in reply.
"Youkai. Why? To show them you were better
than they are. Why? Because they treated you terribly. Why? Because you
were different than they, a half breed, something less than they, not whole,
something to be despised, reviled, ignored."
"Shut up!"
"The truth can hurt when it's put that way,
can't it?"
He growled. "What does this have to do with
anything?"
"Look," she lifted a hand, pointing it at
the glowing orb between them. The crystal ball reflected his face, undistorted.
Slowly, the reflection changed. Red eyes, blood red eyes. Red stripes on
his cheeks. Blood on his face. "You, a youkai."
Him, a youkai. He hadn't looked in a mirror
before. He hadn't seen himself as a youkai before. He'd imagined something
like that. Looking something like that. That was almost how Sesshoumaru
looked. White hair, stripes on his face. He hated his brother. And yet
wanted to become something like him. This was a reflection of himself,
a reflection of what he would look like, a full demon. Mirrors could reflect
many things. It took him a moment to realize that the image in the mirror
was touching its face, and that in reality, he was as well. He snapped
his hand away from the stripes sharply.
"What is Shikon no Tama?"
"Four souls," he told her instantly, forcing
his gaze from the reflection. In the dimness, the light from the glowing
ball carried to her face, reflecting oddly there. Pale eyes were paler,
pearl colored. "Four souls, in everything." The smile did not belong on
that face. Those odd, milky eyes. Like a blind person's. "If they work
together, a person's all right."
"And if they do not?"
Inuyasha felt himself grow very still, as
something began to crystallize in his mind. Those pale, white eyes that
should have been lavender.
"Darkness and light exist right next to one
another. Is it the nature of the dark to consume the light? Or for them
to balance one another? What happens when this balance is corrupted? Does
the dark try to swallow the light? Or does the light attempt to banish
the darkness?"
He remembered something said when they first
wandered into Midoriko's cave. There, among the skeletons of the dead youkai.
Souls can be good or evil. But what would happen if one of those four 'souls'
was disrupted?
"Which one are you?"
"Which one do you think I am?"
"Ukifune."
Her eyes were unfocused, cloudy, her voice
ethereal. She spread her hands apart, and a point glittered in each palm,
faintly pink in color. The ball floated back to her at the motion, and
she clasped it. It shrunk, disappearing as she cradled it in her hands.
"Look into the water then."
"Don't need to. You drowned yourself, didn't
you?" He watched her grow small, shrinking in on herself at the words.
"Why?"
"A blind cripple is of no use at court."
It was the plainest thing she had said, and
she said it softly, hands at her sides, face downward. He half expected
to see tears in her eyes. But she did not weep. No tears. Nothing.
So she went blind and drowned herself in despair
for it. And her soul remained. So that was the reason. "There had to be
another way for you to live than going and killing yourself."
"You chose to change yourself by becoming
youkai. I chose death, to escape my fate as a human. Is that so different?"
Chose death, to escape fate as a human. He
flinched, looking away and into the water. Images floated there, reflected
on the surface of the water. A light formed there, tiny stars patterned
on the ripples. The scene shifted, and he watched as two tiny points of
light fell from these stars in the sky, then flashed into the crystal pond.
A willow trailed branches into the water as fireflies floated in the air.
The garden of her memorial. Into the pond just beyond the stone marking
her grave.
Two spirits, one soul.
The water shifted. The young woman who played
the koto stood beside him, her image wavering and changing in the dream,
separating.
Two people, one soul.
One reached the shards first.
One young, smiling. One older, expressionless.
They stood beside each other, resembling each other, though different.
He stepped away from the railing of the bridge, looking at the girl beside
him. Once again, her eyes were lavender, pale lavender, wide and watchful.
"What should I do?"
She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened
them again, looking at him. "Wake up, Inuyasha."
He watched her lift her hands, palms glowing
brightly as a ball of white light formed between them, growing. "Oy! You
can't just send me back! You have to fight that thing off! It's you! What
the hell am I supposed to do to-"
A smile washed across her face at that. "Fight
what I am, then? Or accept what I am?"
"What the hell are you babbling about now?"
he shouted in reply. She was going philosophical on him again. The light
in her hands was spilling radiance all around them, a bubble of brightness,
glowing like the light of fireflies, brightening, dimming, glowing again.
"Wake up Inuyasha. You have other things to
do now, than talk to me."
"Other things?"
The light blinded him, searing his eyes as
the world vanished around him.
Darkness met his eyes, and they focused to
adjust to the difference. He lay slumped against the ground, and it took
a moment to push himself upward, blinking against the dark. It was silent.
No rain drummed against the tiles of the roof, sliding down outside the
window. Figures slept on futons just beyond him. Though one of these was
empty, the blanket overturned, the bed rumpled as though one had climbed
from it. And in that moment, he knew what other things he had to do.
Because Kagome was gone.
*****************************************
Notes for this chapter...fun stuff.
First off, the song Ukifune is singing is
called 'Lullaby' and it's from the anime Key the Metal Idol. I currently do not know the full translation of the lyrics, but she's singing
something along the lines of being 'Inside the lavender dream.' No, it's
not written for the koto, but it's a beautiful song...one of the
best anime songs I've heard. I highly reccomend it.
Yes, Ukifune looks different when Inuyasha
first sees her. She's also dressed differently, as an adult would dress.
Basically she's wearing formal attire for the Heian era, which seems fairly
different from what I've seen princesses/hime wearing in Inuyasha. Heian
clothes were much more elaborate...due to their general size and emptiness
(and lack of electricity, of course ^.~) Heian mansions were pretty cold
and dark...so they wore many layers of clothing, and dressing became a
bit of a fetish for the women. Ukifune's clothes are layered and loose,
pooling around her. No stiff, tight obi. It's very fluid, and the robes
would trail on the ground behind her. Very long hair was also customary,
and hers would be down to her feet, if not longer. If you remember back
to those flashback episodes with Inuyasha's mother again, she was dressed
much more like Ukifune would have been...layered to the point of being
padded, with long, loose robes.
Inuyasha also makes a comment about the floor
being hard, and not having tatami on it...Ukifune seems puzzled...that's
because tatami mats hadn't been invented in her era. When those ladies
knelt on the floor, it was hard wood. Sounds painful, ne?
One last note...this chapter's title, 'The
Floating Bridge of Dreams' is lifted from Murasaki's 'The Tale of
Genji.' It was too beautiful of a title for me not to use, once I'd
decided to have them on a bridge, in a dream. It fit too well, I suppose.
But 'The Floating Bridge of Dreams' is also a chapter title in 'Genji.'
Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than the
others. But I wanted Inuyasha's dream to be self-contained. Kagome's is
next...her 'real' dream. Or nightmare. Whichever you'll prefer to call
it.
Ja.
-Queen