Disclaimer: this is not anything whatsoever to do with JK Rowling or Warner
bros. JK Rowling is a cool enough writer on her own she does not need me
butting in.
Untitled (I'm way open to suggestion!!!)
"Potter! Will you concentrate! You do not stick your hand inside a Venomous Tentacula. That's called suicide. Now please rejoin the class."
"Huh? O sorry Professor Sprout." Harry immediately retracted his hand from the jaws of "suicide". He still couldn't get Samantha off his mind. He had been unable to concentrate all day, much to the annoyance off Professor McGonagall who immediately took 10 house points from Gryffindor when he accidentally turned Ron into a sock instead of the snake that he had been supplied. The snake had been such a talker he couldn't get him to shut up long enough to perform the spell.
"Harry, I said, will you please rejoin the class?" Repeated Professor Sprout, waving her pink gardening gloves in the air.
"Sorry, Professor." Said Harry dreamily. He was so jealous of Hermione who got to work with Samantha.
Hermione had seen Harry staring over and wondered if he was looking at her or Samantha. She had been mouthing at him all lesson "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?!?!?!?!" but of course Harry hadn't seen her, just Samantha...
"Miss Granger!" Professor Sprout yelled, causing Hermione (and the rest of the class) to jump three feet in the air (Neville jumped four feet). "This is most unlike you! What is with this class today? You're usually so well- mannered! Five points from Gryffindor!"
After class, Hermione ran straight up to Harry, and yelled in his face, "WHAT is WRONG with YOU?!?!?" Harry blinked, "YOU kept STARING at ME!!! WHY?!?!?!" Harry blinked again. "STOP. BLINKING!"
"Sorry, did you say something?" Harry asked, still staring at (yep, you guessed it) Samantha.
"Ohh, you boys are soooo annoying!!" she shouted and stomped off to get her books.
"Hey, what did I do?" Ron called after her, "Its Harry who's being a twat!!!"
"Why am I a twat? You're the one who just had an argument with Hermione!" Harry frowned in puzzlement.
"That was fifteen minutes ago, Harry! You know, when you almost got eaten by the Venomous Tentacula? It was just curling its tentacles around you, when –"
"I think he gets whatever you're saying, Ron." Ginny – who had just appeared on her way to Herbology – cut in. "Now go and find Hermione … another Mountain Troll might turn up."
Ron glared, then had a sudden thought (strange, for him), "Who's the new Potions teacher, Gin? Didn't you just have it?"
"No, you're thinking about Fred and George again … honestly, they left two years ago!! And how exactly do I remind you of TWO red headed obnoxious little … ahem. Never mind. Go. YOU have Potions next."
"We … do?" Ron choked out, "I mean … we DO!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Harry …"
"Hm?"
"RUN!!!"
Upon reaching their destination – the Potions classroom – Ron (and Harry if he hadn't been staring at Samantha) discovered that the new Potions Master was in fact a Potions Mistress, by the name of Professor Taqui.
Ron – fed up of Harry not listening to him (and occasional drooling – especially when Samantha came within a few... er ... miles) – went over and sat next to Hermione.
Hermione whispered to Ron "Don't you think you'd better drag Harry to his seat- he's just standing there."
"Yea, but never mind. I'm sure he'll regain his movement sooner or later."
Then the new teacher spoke, "Good morning class. Now, I want to get as much as I can out of our time together. SO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!! Now, so we can communicate let's start with our names. My name is Professor Taaaaaaaquiii. Say it with me now… Taaaaquiii."
Harry was still as comatose as ever, so Professor 'Taaaaaaquiii' asked him, "Now, what's your name, young man?" And then, when he – seemingly – refused to answer, "Do you have something you would like to share with us?"
"Er … no …" Harry muttered, staring at his shoes (for once, something else instead of Samantha!) He really needed to work on his confidence …
"WELL SIT DOWN AND STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!" Professor Taqui roared. Harry immediately ran full-pelt to his seat.
Ron leaned over and whispered, "Hiya Harry, nice of you to join us, here in the land of the living. I think you left Professor Taaaaaquuuiiiii behind, you better go back for her." Harry was all too happy to oblige as he went back to staring at (yep, you mind-readers guessed it again) Samantha.
Professor Taqui wasn't having any of this however, "YOUNG MAN WHOSE NAME I DO NOT KNOW … LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU, BOY!! Now I am going to go round each and every one of you precious individuals and get to know you all a little better. Now, let's start with you young man."
Harry looked a little bemused and mumbled very quietly "Er…Harry Potter"
"Sorry, dear, I didn't quite catch that"
"Harry Potter" a little louder.
"SPEAK UP DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!"
"OK!!!! MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER. GOT IT? HAAAARRRRRYYYYYY POOOOOTTTTER!!!!!!" Harry exploded. Then, realising what he had just said to a possibly psychotic Potions teacher, sank into his seat to await the consequences.
"I'm sorry dear; did you say your name was Harry Potter?"
"Yes…"
Slowly she sat down in her chair, took several deep breaths and – looking quite dignified - then fainted dead away.
"Ok, that was weird." Commented Ron, rather calmly considering the fact that the psychotic new potions teacher had just fainted dead away in the middle of class.
Samantha wandered over out of the blue, gave Harry a huge hug and said "Thanks Harry, I do not know how much longer I could stand that woman" and walked away again.
"Ok, that was even weirder. I think she likes you, Harry!"
"How can you BE so CALM?!?!?" Hermione screeched, grabbing Ron's shoulders and shaking him back and forth with immense inertia, "HARRY just made the Potions TEACHER FAINT!! HARRY!" She yelled, turning to Harry, who was sitting, quite detached from all that was happening around him. "HOW could you DO this to me???? I need to LEARN, DAMN YOU!! Exams are only TEN MONTHS AWAY!!!!" And with that final statement, Hermione followed Professor Taqui's lead, and fainted dead away.
"I'm never washing these robes again!"
"Am I the only person here with half a brain cell that isn't either unconscious or well…" he turned and pointed at Harry "that" he finished. Sighing, he got up, walked out, and headed for the Hospital Wing, to inform Madam Pomfrey, that there were two – maybe three (counting Harry) – comatose people in the Potions room.
Untitled (I'm way open to suggestion!!!)
"Potter! Will you concentrate! You do not stick your hand inside a Venomous Tentacula. That's called suicide. Now please rejoin the class."
"Huh? O sorry Professor Sprout." Harry immediately retracted his hand from the jaws of "suicide". He still couldn't get Samantha off his mind. He had been unable to concentrate all day, much to the annoyance off Professor McGonagall who immediately took 10 house points from Gryffindor when he accidentally turned Ron into a sock instead of the snake that he had been supplied. The snake had been such a talker he couldn't get him to shut up long enough to perform the spell.
"Harry, I said, will you please rejoin the class?" Repeated Professor Sprout, waving her pink gardening gloves in the air.
"Sorry, Professor." Said Harry dreamily. He was so jealous of Hermione who got to work with Samantha.
Hermione had seen Harry staring over and wondered if he was looking at her or Samantha. She had been mouthing at him all lesson "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?!?!?!?!" but of course Harry hadn't seen her, just Samantha...
"Miss Granger!" Professor Sprout yelled, causing Hermione (and the rest of the class) to jump three feet in the air (Neville jumped four feet). "This is most unlike you! What is with this class today? You're usually so well- mannered! Five points from Gryffindor!"
After class, Hermione ran straight up to Harry, and yelled in his face, "WHAT is WRONG with YOU?!?!?" Harry blinked, "YOU kept STARING at ME!!! WHY?!?!?!" Harry blinked again. "STOP. BLINKING!"
"Sorry, did you say something?" Harry asked, still staring at (yep, you guessed it) Samantha.
"Ohh, you boys are soooo annoying!!" she shouted and stomped off to get her books.
"Hey, what did I do?" Ron called after her, "Its Harry who's being a twat!!!"
"Why am I a twat? You're the one who just had an argument with Hermione!" Harry frowned in puzzlement.
"That was fifteen minutes ago, Harry! You know, when you almost got eaten by the Venomous Tentacula? It was just curling its tentacles around you, when –"
"I think he gets whatever you're saying, Ron." Ginny – who had just appeared on her way to Herbology – cut in. "Now go and find Hermione … another Mountain Troll might turn up."
Ron glared, then had a sudden thought (strange, for him), "Who's the new Potions teacher, Gin? Didn't you just have it?"
"No, you're thinking about Fred and George again … honestly, they left two years ago!! And how exactly do I remind you of TWO red headed obnoxious little … ahem. Never mind. Go. YOU have Potions next."
"We … do?" Ron choked out, "I mean … we DO!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Harry …"
"Hm?"
"RUN!!!"
Upon reaching their destination – the Potions classroom – Ron (and Harry if he hadn't been staring at Samantha) discovered that the new Potions Master was in fact a Potions Mistress, by the name of Professor Taqui.
Ron – fed up of Harry not listening to him (and occasional drooling – especially when Samantha came within a few... er ... miles) – went over and sat next to Hermione.
Hermione whispered to Ron "Don't you think you'd better drag Harry to his seat- he's just standing there."
"Yea, but never mind. I'm sure he'll regain his movement sooner or later."
Then the new teacher spoke, "Good morning class. Now, I want to get as much as I can out of our time together. SO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!! Now, so we can communicate let's start with our names. My name is Professor Taaaaaaaquiii. Say it with me now… Taaaaquiii."
Harry was still as comatose as ever, so Professor 'Taaaaaaquiii' asked him, "Now, what's your name, young man?" And then, when he – seemingly – refused to answer, "Do you have something you would like to share with us?"
"Er … no …" Harry muttered, staring at his shoes (for once, something else instead of Samantha!) He really needed to work on his confidence …
"WELL SIT DOWN AND STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!" Professor Taqui roared. Harry immediately ran full-pelt to his seat.
Ron leaned over and whispered, "Hiya Harry, nice of you to join us, here in the land of the living. I think you left Professor Taaaaaquuuiiiii behind, you better go back for her." Harry was all too happy to oblige as he went back to staring at (yep, you mind-readers guessed it again) Samantha.
Professor Taqui wasn't having any of this however, "YOUNG MAN WHOSE NAME I DO NOT KNOW … LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU, BOY!! Now I am going to go round each and every one of you precious individuals and get to know you all a little better. Now, let's start with you young man."
Harry looked a little bemused and mumbled very quietly "Er…Harry Potter"
"Sorry, dear, I didn't quite catch that"
"Harry Potter" a little louder.
"SPEAK UP DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!"
"OK!!!! MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER. GOT IT? HAAAARRRRRYYYYYY POOOOOTTTTER!!!!!!" Harry exploded. Then, realising what he had just said to a possibly psychotic Potions teacher, sank into his seat to await the consequences.
"I'm sorry dear; did you say your name was Harry Potter?"
"Yes…"
Slowly she sat down in her chair, took several deep breaths and – looking quite dignified - then fainted dead away.
"Ok, that was weird." Commented Ron, rather calmly considering the fact that the psychotic new potions teacher had just fainted dead away in the middle of class.
Samantha wandered over out of the blue, gave Harry a huge hug and said "Thanks Harry, I do not know how much longer I could stand that woman" and walked away again.
"Ok, that was even weirder. I think she likes you, Harry!"
"How can you BE so CALM?!?!?" Hermione screeched, grabbing Ron's shoulders and shaking him back and forth with immense inertia, "HARRY just made the Potions TEACHER FAINT!! HARRY!" She yelled, turning to Harry, who was sitting, quite detached from all that was happening around him. "HOW could you DO this to me???? I need to LEARN, DAMN YOU!! Exams are only TEN MONTHS AWAY!!!!" And with that final statement, Hermione followed Professor Taqui's lead, and fainted dead away.
"I'm never washing these robes again!"
"Am I the only person here with half a brain cell that isn't either unconscious or well…" he turned and pointed at Harry "that" he finished. Sighing, he got up, walked out, and headed for the Hospital Wing, to inform Madam Pomfrey, that there were two – maybe three (counting Harry) – comatose people in the Potions room.