Lister began explaining what the Smeg was going on to Rimmer. He knew this wasn't going to be very easy.
"So Bob gave you a telephone. Who the smeg were you talking to?" Rimmer was irritated that he had been woken up, and then confused so much. He began to wonder if there was something Lister wasn't telling him. He knew there had been a Rimmer before him, but he didn't know what the Smeg happened to him. He was afraid something terrible had happened, like he had died choking on a Chicken bone, so he had never asked.
"I was talking to Rimmer. Ace Rimmer." Said Lister. He knew he wasn't explaining anything by saying that, he just enjoyed confusing Rimmer even more.
"You Smeg head! Who the Hell is that?" Rimmer was losing his patience!
"Ok, ok!! Well, The Rimmer before you was a real smeg head and all..." Lister thought of how he would put this. "And one day, this guy named Ace Rimmer came along. He was basically a Rimmer from a parallel universe who had pretty much gotten all the breaks. Well, this guy drove Rimmer nuts! He hated the Smegger, until he found out he was dying and wanted to recruit him as the new Ace Rimmer"
Rimmer was lost, He didn't know what the Smeg Lister was talking about. "Ace Rimmer, huh... So... What kind of guy was he?.. You know... what did he do?" Rimmer was very curious what would have happened to him if he had gotten all the breaks.
"Well basically... He is a super hero."
"A super hero? How do you mean?" The word super hero had surprised him quite a bit. He had never really thought of himself as the `save the world' type. Even if he had gotten all the breaks and become an officer.
"He was a test pilot, he flew through all different universes. He never cared for himself, he only cared for others" Lister took a long sigh... "What a guy"
"Thats what would have happened to me if I had gotten all the breaks?" Rimmer was beginning to sound angry. He more expected himself to be the self centered bastard he was!
"Yeah, man"
"So what were you talking to him about?"
"oh" Lister took another long sigh "He's coming for a visit. And also, he came across the parallel universe me, the one who used to be on Kochanski's ship, and he's bringing him, too. What a Smeg Head!" The whole thing seemed like hell to Lister. He would probably lose Kochanski all together. She would go off with him, and he would never see her again!
The thought of a perfect Rimmer, who was almost the exact opposite of himself really bothered Rimmer. He decided not to think about it, as hard as it was and try and get some sleep. Lister did the same, but was was unable to close his eyes and relax with the thought still in his mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Be continued...
"So Bob gave you a telephone. Who the smeg were you talking to?" Rimmer was irritated that he had been woken up, and then confused so much. He began to wonder if there was something Lister wasn't telling him. He knew there had been a Rimmer before him, but he didn't know what the Smeg happened to him. He was afraid something terrible had happened, like he had died choking on a Chicken bone, so he had never asked.
"I was talking to Rimmer. Ace Rimmer." Said Lister. He knew he wasn't explaining anything by saying that, he just enjoyed confusing Rimmer even more.
"You Smeg head! Who the Hell is that?" Rimmer was losing his patience!
"Ok, ok!! Well, The Rimmer before you was a real smeg head and all..." Lister thought of how he would put this. "And one day, this guy named Ace Rimmer came along. He was basically a Rimmer from a parallel universe who had pretty much gotten all the breaks. Well, this guy drove Rimmer nuts! He hated the Smegger, until he found out he was dying and wanted to recruit him as the new Ace Rimmer"
Rimmer was lost, He didn't know what the Smeg Lister was talking about. "Ace Rimmer, huh... So... What kind of guy was he?.. You know... what did he do?" Rimmer was very curious what would have happened to him if he had gotten all the breaks.
"Well basically... He is a super hero."
"A super hero? How do you mean?" The word super hero had surprised him quite a bit. He had never really thought of himself as the `save the world' type. Even if he had gotten all the breaks and become an officer.
"He was a test pilot, he flew through all different universes. He never cared for himself, he only cared for others" Lister took a long sigh... "What a guy"
"Thats what would have happened to me if I had gotten all the breaks?" Rimmer was beginning to sound angry. He more expected himself to be the self centered bastard he was!
"Yeah, man"
"So what were you talking to him about?"
"oh" Lister took another long sigh "He's coming for a visit. And also, he came across the parallel universe me, the one who used to be on Kochanski's ship, and he's bringing him, too. What a Smeg Head!" The whole thing seemed like hell to Lister. He would probably lose Kochanski all together. She would go off with him, and he would never see her again!
The thought of a perfect Rimmer, who was almost the exact opposite of himself really bothered Rimmer. He decided not to think about it, as hard as it was and try and get some sleep. Lister did the same, but was was unable to close his eyes and relax with the thought still in his mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Be continued...