Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½. This fine anime/manga is owned by the goddess Rumiko Takahashi, and Viz. And since I'm not making any money off of this, they probably won't sue me.
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Omake Omake Omake….
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There Are Support Groups For That…
Mousse walked briskly through the woods grumbling about being nothing more than a "go-for." He didn't see why the old ghoul couldn't check on Hibiki's progress herself, the fool was her pupil after all. He have a philosophical shrug and hurried on, the sooner he got this drudgery out of the way, the sooner he could be near his beloved.
The Hidden Weapons Master soon came into the clearing were Ryoga was supposed to be. He glanced around before noticing the lost boy perched on a boulder with his chin in his hand and a wistful expression on his face.
Mousse was about to speak up when his attention was caught by something that made him face fault. Beyond Ryoga was a disturbing number of realistic statues and busts of Akane Tendo. At a second glance he noticed that the boulder Ryoga sat upon was covered in the message "I (Heart) Akane" made of finger holes.
"That is the most pathetic display I have ever seen in my life." He commented, as Ryoga's head snapped around. He glared at the blind martial artist. " This coming from the guy who has a shrine dedicated to Shampoo made out of old take-out cartons."
Mousse glowered. "How did you…Never mind. You what, don't speak." He said sharply. "Hey, I.." the lost boy began.
"I said don't speak."
"But…"
"Don't speak."
"You can't tell me what to do, you blind jerk!" Ryoga shouted. "You wanna make something of it, Michelangelo?" Mousse asked settling into a stance. "Bring it on, Duck Boy." Ryoga growled.
Both boys shouted and launched into s series of strikes and counter strikes. Neither combatant made progress and they broke apart. Mousse drew a sword and charged at Ryoga. Just as he neared his opponent, Ryoga quickly side stepped and Mousse was clothes lined by a low hanging branch, knocking him down for the count.
Ryoga gathered up his back pack and looked back at the other boy. "Well at least your more pathetic than me." he then turned and walked...right into a tree. He stood with his face smooshed in, before joining Mousse on the ground.
"You were saying?" Mousse groaned from the ground.
"Shut up."
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Omake Omake Omake…
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The Love-less BluesMousse stood on a roof top, the night wind whipping his hair as observed a figure sitting on a bridge of bullet train tracks running past the building. The person sat hunched over, his head almost in his lap, a sickly green aura pulsed around him. The bandana and tunic identified him as Ryoga Hibiki. He sighed as glanced down at the fellow martial artist.
Poor Ryoga. Poor, poor Ryoga. The male Amazon mused. He's finally reached the end of his rope, and tonight and he ends it. The love crazed fool didn't see heart break coming until it was too late.
I guess it started when he was cared for by Akane Tendo when she discovered him wandering around her home in his cursed form. I could understand any affection he had for her, but it soon became as uncontrolled an obsession as was his pathological blame for Ranma Saotome.
He did everything in his power to win her affection, just short of actually getting the nerve to tell her so out loud of his affections. It was sad how he would assume his piglet body and act like a guard dog. He was practically eating out of her hand.
Of course I tried to talk the idiot out of it. Despite past differences, he didn't deserve to have his fragile heart broken. I knew Ranma and Akane had eyes for only each other and he was only a close friend in the Tendo girl's eyes. But his ears were clogged by Lamoure, and he continued with his pining.
Then, just a week after the 'Wedding Incident' (as it came to be called) blew up in Saotome's face, he worked up the nerve to ask her out on a date. Little did he know that they had been talking and Ranma beat him once again to the punch. Hibiki walked in on them as they were kissing.
Which brings me back to the present, just a day after Ranma's second wedding. I can't help but feel pity for his tragic form, but I guess he had to find out the hard way. Of course this'll never happen to me. My love is sure to see me in a different light, now that Ranma's out of the way.
Mousse pulled out a photograph of a certain purple haired Amazon and gazed fondly at it. Just as he turned away from the picture, he saw Shampoo running across the roof tops. He was about to call out when she stopped and leapt down to ground below and approached the doorstep of the Ucchan.
He looked on in curiosity as the door opened and Ukyo stepped out, eyeing the Amazon suspiciously. Mousse's eyes widened behind his glasses and his face paled as he witnessed his love embrace the other woman in a crushing hug and plant a kiss upon the startled okonamiyaki chef's lips.
Ryoga sat upon the tracks, his hands supporting his head as he stared out blankly into the night sky, he wore the expression of someone staring into the abyss. It suddenly registered in his mind that someone was standing next to him as a shadow over fell him.
The lost boy glanced up at Mousse, who had a look upon his face that mirrored his own. Both boys stared at each other for a few long moments. Then Ryoga moved over slightly, Mousse gave a small smile as he joined his partner in depression upon the tracks.
In the distance the faint clattering of a train could be heard…
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Omake Omake Omake…
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The Red Tape'll Kill Ya
"Hold that elevator, commoners!"
The other passengers stared as a man in robes with a bokken thrust through the sash ran on to the elevator before the doors snapped shut. Kuno stood in the middle of the crowded compartment with a brooding expression on his face.
The others stared, then one man elbowed a friend and pointed at Kuno. They began giggling, soon the giggles spread and before long everyone was roaring with laughter except the cause of the mirth.
Soon the doors open and mercifully let Kuno escape the humiliation. He turned and scowled at chuckling people. "If any of you ever needs liberation from an oni, find someone else!" he proclaimed as he stomped off. This was met with more peals of laughter as the elevator closed again. "I hate them all." The samurai mumbled to himself.
After a few minute more of being mocked by people in the waiting room and the secretary, he al last reached his destination, the office of a legal consultant name Mr. Musuba.
"Well now, lets get down to business. You see, the name 'Blue Thunder' is already taken." He stated. Kuno leapt up from his chair. "But it can't be! I already came up with that title. It took me a week to come up with an awe inspiring name!"
Mr. Musuba patted the distressed upperclassman on the shoulder. "Now, now don't fret. I'm sure your perform just fine, no matter what you call yourself." He said brightly. Kuno face faulted. "What do you mean 'perform?'" he asked in a steely tone.
"Well aren't you one of those actors from 'Shakespeare In The Park?'" the consultant inquired. "No I am Not! I'm a *samurai*!" he growled. How dare this peasant mock him! "Well, I thought you were because of the poetry you were reciting in the waiting room." Musuba said tentivly.
"It was a symbol of my love for…never mind. Just tell me why I can't have my name!" he threw up his arms in exasperation. This man was taxing on his sanity, what little there was left. "Well, it's been taken by the bakery."
"Then why can't we both have the same name?" the Kendoist asked. "It'd cause a lot of confusion." Musuba stated matter-of-factly as he wiped his glasses. "Confusion?!" Kuno shrieked. "I'm a samurai! They're a *bakery*! What confusion is there about that?"
"Well what if someone stopped you on the street and asked for a sticky bun or a doughnut. Or someone ran into the bake shop and requested revenge for their dead kitty? There'd be mass hysteria." Kuno grumbled to himself, he couldn't believe this.
"But not to worry, we have a data base of name that belonged to businesses that are no long operational." His hand flew across his key board when the results came in. "Ah! How about 'Smoked Meats and Fishes?'" he asked, spreading his arms out in a title gesture.
"What kind of samurai calls himself 'Smoked Meats and Fishes?' It's ridiculous!" the mad Kendoist sputtered. "Well you could always put 'of Furiken High' after it." He suggested.
Kuno snarled, then is eyes suddenly narrowed. "Oh, I see. You're a loon!" He grabbed Mr. Masuba by his jacket front and pointed his bokken point under his nose. "Tell me where you've escaped from, I'll put you back."
Musuba pulled away from the irritated samurai and scrutinized his coat. "Now, now. There's no need to get rough, there are plenty of other choices." Kuno sighed. "Very well, Let's hear them."
"Izzy's Wasbai Emporium!"
"No."
"Python Bucket Inc."
"Uh uh."
"The Wall Flower."
"Absolutely not."
Musuba glared at Kuno. "Your making this rather difficult." He commented as brought up another page. "How about DreamWorks?" he offered. "N-wait a minute." Tatewaki paused and scratched his chin in contemplation.
Suddenly the computer made an error noise. "Whoops, sorry. That one was just taken." The machine buzzed again. "Oops!And again! There'll be a lawsuit there." He chuckled. Kuno slapped his hand down on the desk.
"Listen, wretch. Is there any way for me to keep my old title?" He asked through clenched teeth. "Well, you could get the bakery to change their name…" he began, but Kuno was already storming out of the office amid a sea of laughter before the consultant could finish speaking.
*******
"Well of course I'd like to change my business name." The Proprietor of the "Blue Thunder" Bake Shop replied to the samurai's request. She continued icing a cake as she spoke. "I mean what kind of name is 'Blue Thunder' any how? It's moronic, stupid, point-less…" She accidentally squirted Kuno with frosting as she ranted.
"Sorry, dearie. I wanted to call it Helen's Bake Shop, that's my name." Kuno smiled. "Yes, well why don't you?" she sighed. "Because that's the name of the butcher shop on the next block." Kuno face faulted.
*******
Soon a ragged Kuno was standing at the counter of Walter's World Of Pastilles. Behind him were a number of workers who wanted to change their names. He sighed and fixed his hair.
"It's simple." He explained for the thousandth time to the stubborn man. "I get Blue Thunder. Blue Thunder Bakery becomes Helen's Bakery, Helen's Butcher Shop Becomes Rudy's, Rudy's Becomes Jack's, Jack's Becomes Yohko's, an so on, and so on. So all you have to do is change your name to something else!"
The man simply stared at Kuno. "But my name is Walter." Everyone groaned and began to leave. "Wait, wait! We'll make him change his name! We out number him, and…" He was cut off from his triad by the door slamming in his face.
One Month Later…
"Saotome!!"
Ranma sighed as he and Akane entered the school grounds to find their favorite lunatic waiting for them. "Today you will fall at the blade work of The…" He stopped and his face flushed before he continued. "…Smoked…Meats and Fishes of Furiken High."
Naturally this didn't have the effect he desired as his enemy and half the school yard were rolling on the ground with laughter. Kuno's face went burgundy as he twitched. "SILIENCE!!! That w-was just a ruse. You of course know I am the Blue Thunder of Furkien High!"
A new student looked up. "Blue Thunder?" he asked. "Yes that is my title." Kuno said. "Could I have a Cinnamon Roll please?" Kuno's aura darkened as he drew his bokken. Violence commenced.
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Omake, Omake, Omake…Wheee!
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