This was written for no reason other than the fact that I'm depressed `cause life's being shitty and I needed to write. That's it...there is no other reason. I'm sending it just because I felt like it...there's no other reason for that either. So if you hate
it...sorry, I know it sucks. If you don't hate it and decide to comment...thanks, I could use some cheering up.
Oh, and I wrote this in about ten minutes, so it kinda sucks and probably has errors galore. Sorry.
Title: Angels
Author: focsfyr
Pairing: ?+5
Warning: depressing, dark, blood, self-inflicted
injuries, shonen ai (a little)
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing so don't bother
suing, you won't get anything `cause there's nothing
to get
Archive: If you feel like it. Just tell me (or ask,
whatever)
/thoughts/
~flashbacks~
"speech"
ANGELS
Red on white...like blood on snow.
Something so clean stained by something so tainted, dirtied by a single flick of the curved knife in his hand. Moonlight played along the carefully honed edge. /It's so pretty.../ Another swift slice, this time following the muscle of his calf. After all, he couldn't let the others find out.
/find out what.../
He barely breathed aloud the answer to his own question. "That I'm flawed."
/That you're a coward?/
"...yes."
/That you're a weakling?/
"...yes."
/That you would rather spill your own blood than deal with your life? That.../
"Yes!" He laid the razor sharp edge across one muscled thigh and drew it violently across with a single pull. The blade was so sharp it barely hurt, yet still cut deeply. Deep enough to hurt once the initial painlessness passed. Deep enough to bleed.
Deep enough to ease the pain in his heart.
Black eyes stared in fascination as a steady trickle of blood wound its way down his leg, joining the crimson pool already staining the white tile.
/Why./
~~"Bitch!"~~ He blinked back tears.
/Why?/
~"You fucking think you can screw me over like that and get away with it!?"~
Held back a sob "I can't..."
~~Huddled helplessly, trying to drown out their fighting. /It's all falling apart. Why is it all falling apart?/~~
"I couldn't stop it." A tear joined the blood slowly spreading across the floor.
/But why hurt yourself?/
"It doesn't..."
/it does.../
"it doesn't hurt..."
/then why do it?/
"Because I need to..." His hands began to shake as his vision blurred.
/need?/
"Because I want to..." The knife clattered loudly against the tiles as it fell to the floor.
/why?/
"Because it hurts less than remembering..." He sank to his knees and let the tears fall.
"Because..."
~~"I HATE YOU!"~~
"No one wants me, nobody cares."
"Of course I do." He drew in a sharp breath and turned his head to meet the intruders disgusted gaze. But despite the blood smearing his hands, the tiles, the knife that gleamed guiltily on the floor, that's not what he saw.
Luminous eyes were all he saw, filled with warmth and caring...a caring he didn't deserve. "No."
"I do care." The other boy knelt beside him, heedless of the blood that soaked into the knees of his pants. "We all care."
"You can't..."
Strong arms wrapped around his trembling shoulders. "We care."
"You can't!" He yelled, struggling to remove that comforting presence before he gave in and accepted it. "How can you care what happens to me when I don't?!?"
The other pilot simply held him close. "Because," he dropped a soft kiss on the smaller boys lips. " `Friend are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.' Of course we care...that's what friends are for."
OWARI
Thank Kami-sama for friends.
~focsfyr
it...sorry, I know it sucks. If you don't hate it and decide to comment...thanks, I could use some cheering up.
Oh, and I wrote this in about ten minutes, so it kinda sucks and probably has errors galore. Sorry.
Title: Angels
Author: focsfyr
Pairing: ?+5
Warning: depressing, dark, blood, self-inflicted
injuries, shonen ai (a little)
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing so don't bother
suing, you won't get anything `cause there's nothing
to get
Archive: If you feel like it. Just tell me (or ask,
whatever)
/thoughts/
~flashbacks~
"speech"
ANGELS
Red on white...like blood on snow.
Something so clean stained by something so tainted, dirtied by a single flick of the curved knife in his hand. Moonlight played along the carefully honed edge. /It's so pretty.../ Another swift slice, this time following the muscle of his calf. After all, he couldn't let the others find out.
/find out what.../
He barely breathed aloud the answer to his own question. "That I'm flawed."
/That you're a coward?/
"...yes."
/That you're a weakling?/
"...yes."
/That you would rather spill your own blood than deal with your life? That.../
"Yes!" He laid the razor sharp edge across one muscled thigh and drew it violently across with a single pull. The blade was so sharp it barely hurt, yet still cut deeply. Deep enough to hurt once the initial painlessness passed. Deep enough to bleed.
Deep enough to ease the pain in his heart.
Black eyes stared in fascination as a steady trickle of blood wound its way down his leg, joining the crimson pool already staining the white tile.
/Why./
~~"Bitch!"~~ He blinked back tears.
/Why?/
~"You fucking think you can screw me over like that and get away with it!?"~
Held back a sob "I can't..."
~~Huddled helplessly, trying to drown out their fighting. /It's all falling apart. Why is it all falling apart?/~~
"I couldn't stop it." A tear joined the blood slowly spreading across the floor.
/But why hurt yourself?/
"It doesn't..."
/it does.../
"it doesn't hurt..."
/then why do it?/
"Because I need to..." His hands began to shake as his vision blurred.
/need?/
"Because I want to..." The knife clattered loudly against the tiles as it fell to the floor.
/why?/
"Because it hurts less than remembering..." He sank to his knees and let the tears fall.
"Because..."
~~"I HATE YOU!"~~
"No one wants me, nobody cares."
"Of course I do." He drew in a sharp breath and turned his head to meet the intruders disgusted gaze. But despite the blood smearing his hands, the tiles, the knife that gleamed guiltily on the floor, that's not what he saw.
Luminous eyes were all he saw, filled with warmth and caring...a caring he didn't deserve. "No."
"I do care." The other boy knelt beside him, heedless of the blood that soaked into the knees of his pants. "We all care."
"You can't..."
Strong arms wrapped around his trembling shoulders. "We care."
"You can't!" He yelled, struggling to remove that comforting presence before he gave in and accepted it. "How can you care what happens to me when I don't?!?"
The other pilot simply held him close. "Because," he dropped a soft kiss on the smaller boys lips. " `Friend are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.' Of course we care...that's what friends are for."
OWARI
Thank Kami-sama for friends.
~focsfyr