Harry Pothead And The Chamber Of Secrets- Part 2
by Prathdrake
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A/N: Okay, so I procrastinated writing the second chapter! I couldn't think up what I wanted to happen! But then I had a brain wave... What if other people were addicted to drugs, too? Guaranteed pleaser!
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Legal Stuff: I own nothing but what I own.
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It was Christmas.
"Harry!" yelled Ron, "Come to the common room! I've got a present for you!" Harry quickly opened his eyes and ran downstairs. Ron handed him a small box.
"Thanks," said Harry. He proceeded to rip open the box...but there was nothing inside.
"Uh, Ron," said Harry, "Did you forget to put the present in?" Ron looked wide eyed at the shredded box. He started to cry.
"Th-th-the b-box was your p-p-p-present," he said between sniffles, "And now y-y-you've r-ruined I-I-I-t-t-t!"
"Oh, sorry," exclaimed Harry, "I didn't know..."
"Actually, it's okay," sobbed Ron, "That is, as long as you have a present for me." Harry got nervous.
"Er...uh...well, uh... I forgot...that, uh...is to say...I, er, uh...didn't get you a present." Harry looked at Ron for forgiveness. Instead, Ron was steaming mad.
"Some friend you are!" Ron shouted, "Not even getting me a present!" Then Harry remembered about his secret tunnel of pot.
"Actually," started Harry slyly, "I guess I do have a present for you. Come with me." Harry led Ron up the stairs and to his bed.
"Pot-pot! Po't Pot. P-p-p-pot. Pot," said Harry. His bed turned over and the pot was visible. Harry took a scoopula and dug some pot out of the chamber.
"And it's all for you!" said Harry to Ron, "That is... if you're not too chicken..." Harry then did his best facial imitation of a drug dealer. Ron looked at the tunnel for a long time, then finally spoke.
"That's all?" he queried.
"What do you mean?" asked Harry, "I've got a pretty good sized amount!" Ron looked at Harry.
"Come with me," Ron said. Ron walked over to his bed and started to speak.
"Pot-pot! Po't Pot. P-p-p-pot. Pot." This time, Ron's bed turned over to also reveal a passage of pot. And it was even bigger than Harry's!
"I don't get it, " said Harry, "You're poor...er...I mean valuably challenged! How did you afford all of it?"
"Oh it's not too hard...if you know the right stuff..." answered Ron very mysteriously.
"Do you mean Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Yup," answered Ron.
"Does she have a passage of pot, too?" Harry asked.
"Yup," answered Ron.
"Even bigger than yours?" Harry asked.
"Yup," answered Ron.
"And you're thinkin' we should raid her stash?" Harry asked.
"Yup," answered Ron.
"It's so nice to know we agree," said Harry.
****
When Hermione was done her classes, she found Harry and Ron by her bed, rolling joints.
"What are you guys dong here?" she asked.
"Oh...you know...just...hanging out..." said Harry, "I hope you're not too mad."
"Of course not," said Hermione, "I can always whip up more with my wand. Would you like to learn how?"
"Are bees pink? I'd love to know!" answered Harry, "How 'bout you Ron? Do you want to know?" Ron took one more puff and then passed out.
"I'll take that as a yes. Now, you just point your wand and say, Pot-trificus Totally-coolus!" When she had said these words, mountains of pot came flying out of her wand. "Oh, dear! she exclaimed, "That's a bit too much. I guess we'll have to be puffing all night!"
Harry smiled at these pleasant words. Ron didn't do anything.
****
"Would Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasly please come to my office," Dumbledore's voice came out of nowhere. Harry and Ron looked at each other nervously. Hermione went deathly pale.
"He knows...." said Hermione, "We'll be in detention for the rest of our lives!"
"But, how could he know?" asked Harry, "We were so careful!" He looked down at the piles of powder scattered on the floor. "Okay...maybe not so careful."
"Let's just go," said Ron, "Maybe he's just calling us down to give us...uh...a reward for being good students... I hope..."
So the trio made their way to the stone gargoyle. It opened without them having to say a password.
"Come in..." said Dumbledore. He sat them down, "Now, you know what you've done," he said, "And you know that I know what you've done. So I'm afraid I have no choice but to-" Ron cut in.
"All right! We admit it! We were abusing the use of the pot spell! Just please, oh please don't expel us!"
"Abusing the pot spell?" queried Dumbledore, "I just called you down to give you all awards for being wonderful students! But...this pot business is a serious matter..." Hermione, Harry and Ron looked at each other nervously. What was he going to do to them?
"You will be given several detentions, of course (they frowned) but I will not report you to the law (they brightened up) if you do one thing for me."
"And...what might that be?" asked Hermione.
"I need you to restock my supply of pot," said Dumbledore, "It's quite empty..."
****
"There you go, sir," said Harry once the job was done, "A year's worth of pot in you cupboard!"
"Thank-you, Harry," said Dumbledore, "And I have a suggestion of what you could do over the summer. Try some acid. I think you'll like it!"
THE END
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A/N: Go Dumbledore! Go Dumbledore! Er... I mean... Bad Dumbledore! What kind of example do you think you're setting for kids? Anyway, I now it was a trashy ending, but please review!
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by Prathdrake
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A/N: Okay, so I procrastinated writing the second chapter! I couldn't think up what I wanted to happen! But then I had a brain wave... What if other people were addicted to drugs, too? Guaranteed pleaser!
********************************************************************************
Legal Stuff: I own nothing but what I own.
********************************************************************************
It was Christmas.
"Harry!" yelled Ron, "Come to the common room! I've got a present for you!" Harry quickly opened his eyes and ran downstairs. Ron handed him a small box.
"Thanks," said Harry. He proceeded to rip open the box...but there was nothing inside.
"Uh, Ron," said Harry, "Did you forget to put the present in?" Ron looked wide eyed at the shredded box. He started to cry.
"Th-th-the b-box was your p-p-p-present," he said between sniffles, "And now y-y-you've r-ruined I-I-I-t-t-t!"
"Oh, sorry," exclaimed Harry, "I didn't know..."
"Actually, it's okay," sobbed Ron, "That is, as long as you have a present for me." Harry got nervous.
"Er...uh...well, uh... I forgot...that, uh...is to say...I, er, uh...didn't get you a present." Harry looked at Ron for forgiveness. Instead, Ron was steaming mad.
"Some friend you are!" Ron shouted, "Not even getting me a present!" Then Harry remembered about his secret tunnel of pot.
"Actually," started Harry slyly, "I guess I do have a present for you. Come with me." Harry led Ron up the stairs and to his bed.
"Pot-pot! Po't Pot. P-p-p-pot. Pot," said Harry. His bed turned over and the pot was visible. Harry took a scoopula and dug some pot out of the chamber.
"And it's all for you!" said Harry to Ron, "That is... if you're not too chicken..." Harry then did his best facial imitation of a drug dealer. Ron looked at the tunnel for a long time, then finally spoke.
"That's all?" he queried.
"What do you mean?" asked Harry, "I've got a pretty good sized amount!" Ron looked at Harry.
"Come with me," Ron said. Ron walked over to his bed and started to speak.
"Pot-pot! Po't Pot. P-p-p-pot. Pot." This time, Ron's bed turned over to also reveal a passage of pot. And it was even bigger than Harry's!
"I don't get it, " said Harry, "You're poor...er...I mean valuably challenged! How did you afford all of it?"
"Oh it's not too hard...if you know the right stuff..." answered Ron very mysteriously.
"Do you mean Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Yup," answered Ron.
"Does she have a passage of pot, too?" Harry asked.
"Yup," answered Ron.
"Even bigger than yours?" Harry asked.
"Yup," answered Ron.
"And you're thinkin' we should raid her stash?" Harry asked.
"Yup," answered Ron.
"It's so nice to know we agree," said Harry.
****
When Hermione was done her classes, she found Harry and Ron by her bed, rolling joints.
"What are you guys dong here?" she asked.
"Oh...you know...just...hanging out..." said Harry, "I hope you're not too mad."
"Of course not," said Hermione, "I can always whip up more with my wand. Would you like to learn how?"
"Are bees pink? I'd love to know!" answered Harry, "How 'bout you Ron? Do you want to know?" Ron took one more puff and then passed out.
"I'll take that as a yes. Now, you just point your wand and say, Pot-trificus Totally-coolus!" When she had said these words, mountains of pot came flying out of her wand. "Oh, dear! she exclaimed, "That's a bit too much. I guess we'll have to be puffing all night!"
Harry smiled at these pleasant words. Ron didn't do anything.
****
"Would Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasly please come to my office," Dumbledore's voice came out of nowhere. Harry and Ron looked at each other nervously. Hermione went deathly pale.
"He knows...." said Hermione, "We'll be in detention for the rest of our lives!"
"But, how could he know?" asked Harry, "We were so careful!" He looked down at the piles of powder scattered on the floor. "Okay...maybe not so careful."
"Let's just go," said Ron, "Maybe he's just calling us down to give us...uh...a reward for being good students... I hope..."
So the trio made their way to the stone gargoyle. It opened without them having to say a password.
"Come in..." said Dumbledore. He sat them down, "Now, you know what you've done," he said, "And you know that I know what you've done. So I'm afraid I have no choice but to-" Ron cut in.
"All right! We admit it! We were abusing the use of the pot spell! Just please, oh please don't expel us!"
"Abusing the pot spell?" queried Dumbledore, "I just called you down to give you all awards for being wonderful students! But...this pot business is a serious matter..." Hermione, Harry and Ron looked at each other nervously. What was he going to do to them?
"You will be given several detentions, of course (they frowned) but I will not report you to the law (they brightened up) if you do one thing for me."
"And...what might that be?" asked Hermione.
"I need you to restock my supply of pot," said Dumbledore, "It's quite empty..."
****
"There you go, sir," said Harry once the job was done, "A year's worth of pot in you cupboard!"
"Thank-you, Harry," said Dumbledore, "And I have a suggestion of what you could do over the summer. Try some acid. I think you'll like it!"
THE END
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A/N: Go Dumbledore! Go Dumbledore! Er... I mean... Bad Dumbledore! What kind of example do you think you're setting for kids? Anyway, I now it was a trashy ending, but please review!
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