Title: Inner Thoughts
Author: Usagirl
A/N: Have very little time but inspiration struck. These are Usagi's thoughts of Mamoru. Little off. Now on with the story.
Inner Thoughts
I look at you. You are so proud and handsome and everything I am not. Graceful, intelligent, self assured, beautiful, I mean not many guys can be called beautiful but you pull it off without a flaw. Some times... Sometimes I wonder why you are with me. I am nothing special just an ordinary girl... well if your definition of ordinary is a reincarnated princess of 1000 years ago.
I wish I was like her. She is what you deserve. She is your match not me. Sometimes I wonder if you would be happier with out me. I always seem to get in your way. You don't have anything in common with me any more. It makes me jealous when I see you talking so intently with my friends... because you never talk that way with me... And I know I shouldn't be jealous but I am so afraid of losing you even though I don't deserve you. It reminds me of a poem I once read.
My Love is like the Earth
Proud strong and Beautiful
And I am like the moon
Small and devoted
And as the moon circles the Earth
I circle you
Totally devoted to you.
But at times the Earth eclipses the moon
And for that shadow of the second the moon is forgotten
No one notices the moon any more
It is only there to compliment the Earth
And Hang on its every word
I am like the moon
And my love is the Earth
The proud beautiful Earth
And I am the forgotten moon
I don't remember where I heard it but it does sound like us no? Sometimes I think of the times I almost lost you. My heart was breaking. The others said they understood but no one can understand. The pain in my heart was unbearable, they couldn't understand. And when you came back... when you came back you acted like nothing had happened for a little while you treated me extra special but as soon as someone came you went into your indifferent self. Now I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. You are perfection and I am a slob. Everyone has told me so...even you. And then I think that you are only with me because of the Silver Millennium. And sometimes I think that it is true. But when I look into your eyes I don't want it to be true. Even though...even though deep within me I know the truth.
I have come to a decision. I am leaving. You all have said I am not fit to be a leader, sailor scout or princess. I will do it tonight I will no longer live a lie. You can be happy now. I would do anything to make you happy even if it means to leave you. I see you talking to Rei, Ami, Minako and Makoto. You never seem that happy with me. The tears are coming again. I quickly squash them though because that would draw attention to me.
No one will notice me if I leave. They are all to enraptured with you. I know they all have feelings for you. Who wouldn't? I hope you are happy with one of them. I would tell you I am leaving but I would rather think that you loved me for a little bit than knowing the truth. I quietly walk away so they won't notice and they don't.
"Goodbye my love my friends we may meet again someday." The wind carried away my whisper I hope you are happy. I know I am not but I would do anything...anything at all to make you happy. I continue on because if I look back again I will not be able to leave. And tonight I am taking the crystal and my life away from Tokyo forever.
I pack everything of value that I have. Including our locket. Tears stream down my face again. My heart aches. But I have to do this to make you happy. I sneak out of my room so my parents don't hear. Luna's not here. Probably at Ami's or at your house talking about the negaverse. But I continue into the park. Once I reached the rose gardens I stopped and pulled out my crystal.
"Silver Crystal I call upon your power take me home." Tears are streaming down my face but I have to do this to make you happy. The light of the Silver Crystal surrounds me. And my last words in Tokyo are.
"Goodbye my friends, my family, my love, mostly to you my love. Goodbye Mamoru." The light diminishes and I am no longer there. I hope you all are happy.
The End Or not...
Please email me or review me and tell me if I should continue or not PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!. I hope you enjoyed I will try to work on my other stories soon kay.
usagirl *~_~*