A/N: Hey, everyone's in this chapter! Here you go with the rundown: LANCE is in Kurt; KURT is in Toad; TOAD is in Kitty; EVAN is in Lance. Now for the ones that have changed: SCOTT is in Rogue; ROGUE is in Pietro; PIETRO is in Scott; KITTY is in Fred; FRED is in Jean; and JEAN is in Evan. Whew. Have fun!



***

Chapter 8: "Dislocations"



The X-mansion was quiet. Too quiet. Logan paused in the hallway, listening. Nothing. No arguing, no sniping; not a single sound came from behind the study door. Afraid that maybe the boys had finally killed each other, he ran to the door and flung it open.

The room was empty.

He sighed. "Can't a guy even go to the bathroom without those kids disappearing?" he muttered.

As Logan turned away from the study, preparing to hunt for the boys, Kurt and Evan walked up the stairs, each carrying a bowl of chocolate ice cream. Logan looked past them and frowned. "Where are the other two?"

"They took their ice cream and came back upstairs." A worried look entered Kurt's eyes. "Didn't they?"

"Let me get this straight. You turned those two loose in the house with chocolate ice cream?" Logan shook his head. "We better find them."

"But what about . . . ?" Evan held up his bowl.

"Put it in the study!"

"But it'll melt!"

The ground started to quake. Logan glared and pointed a finger at Evan. "Knock it off with the earthquake stuff, Porcupine."

"I don't know how!"

"Uh-oh," Kurt said. "Calm down. Maybe if you think of, um, un-shaky things?"

"Like what?"

Logan sighed. "Think of a tranquil pond. Water as calm and smooth as glass. No ripples, no sailboats, no tidal waves caused by earthquakes. Calm. Peaceful. Serene."

The quaking subsided. Evan grinned. "Hey, all right!" He ran off to set his bowl in the study.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at Logan. "A tranquil pond?"

"I don't want to talk about it."





Down the hall, in Kitty and Rogue's room, Toad looked up from the book he was reading. "Hey, it stopped, yo."

Lance looked toward the door and waited for a few seconds, then turned back to Toad. "Yeah, I guess Daniels got it under control. Goody for him. I was afraid I was gonna have to go out there." He sat on Kitty's bed and leaned over Toad's shoulder. "C'mon, is there anything in there about me?"

Toad shrugged him off and slammed Kitty's diary shut. "Get off my back! I'm looking, okay? When I find sumthin, I'll let ya know!"

"Well maybe you're not looking in the right places! What date are you on?"

"Um, hold on." Toad opened the diary and began flipping pages. A few seconds later, he stopped to read something. "Hey, this is from when you were livin here. Ooh, Kitty kissed you?!"

"Shut up."

Toad made kissy-faces at him. "Lance an' Kitty, sittin in a tree -"

"I said shut up!" Lance reached for the diary. "Give me that."

"No!" Toad held it away from him and flipped a few more pages. "Hey, did you know Rogue's got a crush on Summers?"

"I don't care -" Lance stopped. "Really? On Summers?" He snorted. "Why?"

"I dunno, but Kitty thinks Rogue oughtta tell him."

"Great." Lance rolled his eyes. "Is there anything else about me?"

"Um . . ." Toad flipped forward to the most recent pages. "Ooh, yeah, here's sumthin!"

"What? Let me see!"

Toad jumped up and ran across the room. He stepped up onto Rogue's bed and bounced up and down, holding Kitty's diary open in front of him. "Dear Diary, Lance is such a loser. He has bad breath an' he kisses like a slug -"

"It does not say that!" Lance fired one of Kitty's pillows at him.

"Hey!" Toad dropped the diary and caught the pillow. He threw it back at Lance, who ducked out of the way. The pillow hit Toad's bowl of ice cream, sending the spoon flying up in the air to paint chocolate streaks across the wall. The bowl fell over, dribbling the melted remains of the ice cream over Kitty's bedspread.

Toad stopped bouncing. "Ya know, come to think of it, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to set that there, yo."

"Oh, you think?" Lance frantically tried to wipe up the chocolate. "Go get me a napkin or something."

"Man, you are pathetic!" Toad snorted and returned to Kitty's diary. "Hey, here's some stuff about you."

"Yeah, right."

"No, really! It's about you an' the Sadie Hawkins dance. Course, there's a buncha stuff about those monsters crashin the party, but -" he was cut off as Lance ran over and ripped the diary out of his hands. "Whoa. Help yourself, yo."

"Thanks." Lance skimmed the page. "Hey, she thought I looked cute in my suit! And she thinks I'm a good dancer!"

"Ooh, be still my racin heart!" Toad made retching noises. "Gimme a break."

"Oh, what do you know about it?" Lance turned the page and continued to read. "You don't know anything about girls."

"You're right, yo. I mean, readin her diary, now there's the way to win her over. Why didn't I think of it?" Toad jumped off the bed and tried to peek at the diary. "Is there anything in there about me?"

"Why would there be?"

Both boys jumped as the bedroom door flew open. Logan, Kurt, and Evan stood in the doorway. Logan crossed his arms. "What do you two think you're doing in here?"

"Uh . . ." Lance hid the diary behind his back. "Nothing."

"What was that?" Kurt asked.

"Nothing," Lance repeated.

Kurt ran into the room and pulled Lance's arms out in front of him. The diary fell to the floor. Kurt gaped at it. "You're reading Kitty's diary?"

"Uh, well . . ."

"Yeah. You wanna know what she wrote about you?" Toad asked.

Logan stalked into the room and grabbed Lance and Toad by the ears. "Come on. Back to the study with the two of you. And the next time I tell you to stay put, you stay put! Understand?"

"Ow, yo! Like we got a choice?"

Logan ignored their protests and dragged them back to the study, with Kurt and Evan trailing along behind them. When they reached the study, Logan tossed the boys into the room and let Kurt and Evan go in ahead of him. Once all four boys were in the study, he stepped in and slammed the door shut. He then leaned against it and crossed his arms over his chest. "Anyone who wants to leave this room is gonna have to go through me."

Toad started walking toward him. "Hey, I'd be willin to try that!"

"I didn't mean literally go through me! Sit down!"

Toad plopped down on the floor at Logan's feet. Logan glared at him. "What?" Toad snickered. "I'm doin what you told me to."

Logan sighed. As if dealing with Toad on a normal day wasn't bad enough, now, thanks to the ice cream, it looked like he was about to experience Toad on a major sugar rush. Wonderful. He checked the clock for maybe the twentieth time that hour. What could be taking the professor so long?



X X X X X X X



The X-van roared through the streets of Bayville. It paused at a stop sign, then rolled through the intersection. Fifty yards ahead was a billboard, illuminated by spotlights at its base. The billboard stood like a beacon in the night, advertising phone numbers for a mental health clinic. Suddenly the rear passenger-side window of the van slid down and a red laser-bolt of energy shot out, blasting a smoking hole through the billboard.

"Yes! Ha-ha! I've always hated that thing!" Pietro crowed..

"Stop that!" Scott exclaimed. "Keep the visor on! You can't just go around blasting holes in everything."

"Sure I can. I just did."

Professor Xavier sighed. After much discussion in the parking lot, it had been decided that Storm would take Jean and Rogue in Scott's car, while everyone else rode with him. That's how the van had ended up filled to capacity, with Fred up front beside him, Pietro and Scott in the backseat with Amanda propped up between them, and Kitty all by herself in the very back. The seating arrangements had seemed logical when they'd first been worked out, but now Xavier was beginning to doubt the wisdom of putting both Brotherhood members in the same vehicle. Especially when Fred leaned forward and reached for a button on the dashboard.

"Hey, what does this button do?"

"Don't touch that!" Xavier brushed Fred's hand away from the dashboard and continued in a calmer tone of voice. "Please try not to touch anything. The X-van is outfitted with some rather sensitive equipment."

"Yeah, Blob, he doesn't want you to launch any missiles or anything. By the way, is that the missile-launch button?" Pietro leaned over the seat and pointed.

The professor turned halfway, trying to address Pietro while keeping his eyes on the road. "Mr. Maximoff, sit down and put on your seatbelt."

"And don't touch anything," Scott added, glaring at him.

"Don't touch anything," Pietro mimicked, but sat back in his seat. He displayed his hands and raised up to slide them under his thighs, noting with irritation how slowly everything moved in this body. Though his movements may have been slower than normal, his speech was not. "See? I'm sitting on my hands. Now I can't touch anything. Happy?"

Nobody answered. In the very back, Kitty called, "Are we almost back to the Institute yet?"

"Thankfully, yes," Xavier replied.

"Good. I don't know how much longer I can stand being the Blob."

Fred frowned. "Hey, what's wrong with being me?"

Kitty sighed. "Look, I'm not used to taking up the entire back of the van, okay?"

"Well, what's wrong with that?"

"Oh, nevermind!"

"How is Amanda doing, Scott?" Xavier asked.

Scott glanced to his right. After careful consideration, he'd been placed next to Amanda in case she started to wake up while they were en route to the Institute. As the professor had pointed out, it was imperative they do no more switching while the van was in motion. For that reason, Scott had remained ready to act should Amanda show any signs of waking up. So far, she hadn't. "She's still out, Professor. But I'll be ready for her if she comes to."

"Well, be careful," Kitty said. "If you hang on to her for too long, you could put her in a coma or something. Then we'll never get changed back!"

"If it comes to that, I'll barely tap her. Relax."

"Oh, yeah." Kitty rolled her eyes. "Cuz that worked so well when Jean did it."

Pietro, who had been listening to the exchange with some interest, pointed at Scott. "But you're Rogue. Even if you knock her out for good, couldn't you just change us back? You could, right? I mean, that's one of the perks of having that whole touch of death thing, isn't it? Stealing other mutants' powers?"

"No, Pietro. That would be too dangerous. At this point, Scott would have less control over this ability than Amanda does," Xavier said.

"Man, you guys are boring. No sense of adventure. I say just throw everyone in the same room and start sending out those body-switching bubble things, and everyone's bound to get changed back the right way eventually. That's how I would do it!" Pietro informed them.

"And that's why you're not in charge here," Scott said.

Pietro was about to fire off a cocky comeback when something next to the van caught his eye. In the lane next to them, Storm was passing them in Scott's car. Beside her sat Jean, and behind them, Rogue was stretched out in the rumble seat. Pietro groaned. "Aw, man, is it just me, or does that look seriously wrong?"

Scott glanced out the window. It was true; to someone who didn't know any better, it appeared as if Evan and Pietro were riding around quite companionably in the same car.

"Hey!" Pietro leaned out the window. "Hey, Rogue, get down! Don't let anyone see me in the same car with Daniels!" He pulled back into the van and shook his head. "What a nightmare! I hope they don't pass anyone I know. This could ruin my reputation!"

"Your reputation? Your reputation?!" Kitty forced herself not to reach over the seat and strangle him. "Let me tell you something about reputation. Do you know who's got my body right now? Toad! Toad is in my body, and you're worried about people thinking you and Evan are riding in the same car?"

"Toad is in your body?" Pietro whistled. "Hey, good for him! Wow, I hope he's having fun."

"Oh, I hope so, too, cuz I'm gonna kill him as soon as he's back in his own body. His hours are seriously numbered!"

Pietro's eyes widened, but he kept quiet for once. He stared at Amanda and started to grin, rather impressed with her. Hey, despite getting him involved in this mess, if she could wreak this much havoc in the X-geeks' lives, she couldn't be all bad!



X X X X X X X



"Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-three bottles of beer on the wall," Toad sang, "nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-three bottles of beer! Take one down an' pass it around! Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-two bottles of beer on the -"

"Enough!" Logan roared. He held his head in misery. When Toad had started the song by singing "One million bottles of beer on the wall", he hadn't been particularly worried. Honestly, he didn't think the kid would be able to count down from a million, and it would end there. But one million had turned to nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine, which had turned to nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-eight, and so on. Toad was showing no signs of stopping or losing count. Even worse, he'd taken to jumping on the couch to punctuate each new bottle of beer on the wall. Logan was beginning to develop motion sickness from watching him.

"Nine hundred ninety-nine thou -"

"I said enough, and I meant enough!" Logan stomped over to the couch, reached up, and grabbed Toad by the back of the neck. "Now sit down and keep quiet!"

"Ow! Okay, okay! Geez, I wish everyone would stop doin that!" Toad rubbed his neck as soon as Logan released him. "Why don'tcha give Kitty another black eye while you're at it, yo?"

"I don't want to hear another word out of any of you," Logan said, glaring around the room. In truth, this really wasn't fair. Kurt and Evan were sitting quietly in two chairs, doing their homework. Even Lance was behaving, keeping himself busy by dealing out hand after hand of Solitaire. Toad was the only one he was really annoyed with. Patience had never been one of his virtues, and now the kid was getting on his last nerve.

Toad flopped back against the couch and sighed. It wasn't like he was trying to annoy anyone. He was just bored. Very bored. There was absolutely nothing to do in the study, and Wolverine wouldn't let him leave the room. The others were no help, either. The two X-geeks were completely ignoring him, and the only attention Lance paid him was simply to shoot irritated glances his way whenever he distracted him from the game of Solitaire. Like it mattered. Toad knew he was cheating, anyway.

For the first time in his life, he was looking forward to the return of the other X-geeks.

Lance gathered the cards together and attempted to shuffle them. Just when he thought he was getting the hang of using Kurt's three-fingered hands, the cards got away from him. He watched in dismay as fifty-two playing cards went flying through the air and fluttered down around him. Glaring at Kurt, he asked, "How do you get anything done with these hands?"

"I'm used to them," Kurt replied without looking up from his science book.

While Lance tried to hunt down all the spilled cards, a door slammed downstairs. He dropped the cards he'd salvaged and jumped to his feet. "Is that them? Are they back?"

"I'll check." Logan walked to the door and leaned out. A second later he called, "Well, it's about time. Hey, what are they doing here?"

"We invited them for a tea party. What do you think they're doing here?" a cross voice replied.

Lance and Toad exchanged a look. "Yo, was that Pietro?" Toad asked.

"Uh-oh." Evan rolled his eyes. "You know what that means? The body-switcher strikes again. I say we quit trying to figure out who's who and just start calling everyone 'hey you'."

Logan held up one finger and stepped out of the study, pulling the door shut behind him. He looked at the group of kids gathered in the hallway and shook his head. "Forget it. I'm not gonna ask what happened. I don't think I really want to know. I've already dealt with this situation once today, and once is enough for me. What I am going to ask is, where are the professor and Storm?"

"They're downstairs putting Amanda Jensen in an observation room. Professor Xavier said to tell you you're relieved of your duties up here. He'll let us know when Amanda regains consciousness," Jean said.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Then I don't have to keep you all locked up in the study anymore?"

"Locked up? What're you running here, a prison?"

Logan looked at the person who had spoken, one of two kids not wearing a nametag. "Can I assume you're not really Scott?"

"That's a pretty safe assumption," the real Scott said. "That's Pietro. And no, we don't have to stay in the study. We've been released on our own recognizance, as long as we don't try to leave the Institute."

Pietro edged around until he was behind Logan, then flung open the study door. Four expectant faces turned to him. He took a look at the nametags and started laughing. "Hey, Toad, is that really you in there?"

"Yeah . . ." Toad narrowed his eyes. "Who're you?"

"Looks like it's time for more nametags," Logan muttered.

Rogue caught Jean's eye. "See? What did I tell you?" she whispered.

"Don't bother. I don't need a nametag." Pietro glanced around, then grabbed a black marker pen off the desk. He uncapped it and wrote his name in crooked letters across his forehead. "See?"

"Maximoff!" Scott shouted. "That's a permanent marker!"

"So?" Pietro looked at the pen, then shrugged and tossed it over his shoulder. "I'm sure it'll wear off eventually."

Fred looked speculatively at the marker as it landed and rolled to a stop at his feet. He moved to pick it up, but was stopped by Jean. "Don't even think about it," she told him.

Looking back and forth between Pietro and Jean, Evan sighed in relief. "At least he's not in my body," he said to Kurt.

"Ugh. I'd sooner kill myself," Pietro shot back. "Drive one of those stupid spikes through my heart. Make a really big one and impale myself on it. Throw myself under a train. Or a bus. Or off a bridge. Or -"

"We get the point!" Evan shouted. The ground began shaking. "Uh-oh."

"Tranquil pond! Tranquil pond! Think of the tranquil pond!" Kurt exclaimed.

"Tranquil pond?" Pietro snorted. "Where did that come from?"

"Forget it," Logan growled. He moved to the stairs and called over his shoulder, "I guess you kids are on your own. Try not to destroy anything important."

Before the last word was out of Logan's mouth, Toad was off the couch and making for the door. Kitty grabbed him as he passed. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Uh . . ." Toad checked the nametag and gulped. It was just his luck that the person who was the angriest with him also happened to now be the biggest person in the house. "I was just gonna go watch tv. Where's the nearest tv?"

"In there." Kitty pointed down the hall to the common area. "I'll go with you. I am going to be your shadow. From now on, you're not leaving my sight. Got it?"

Toad sent a desperate look at his friends in the study. Pietro and Lance both looked back at him with considerable sorrow. They each raised a hand and waved good-bye to him.

As Kitty began dragging him down the hall, he frantically tried to figure out how to slide through her grasp, with no luck. He held his arms out to the Brotherhood and X-Men alike.

"Help me!"



X X X X X X X



Downstairs, in the secret recesses of the Institute, Logan and Xavier stared through the observation window at Amanda, lying on the room's one bed. As they watched, she stretched and rolled over on her side, facing the window. Although her eyelids were starting to flutter a bit, she was still unconscious.

Logan shook his head. "Hard to believe this one kid could cause so much trouble."

The professor didn't answer. He continued to watch the girl for a moment, then turned to look up at Logan. "We may have a problem."

"Another one?"

"Amanda's control over her ability may be even less than I had originally thought. I don't believe she can control who is switched with whom. I could be wrong, but if I'm not, this could prove a more difficult task than I first estimated. We won't know for certain until she wakes up."

"Hmm." Logan sighed. "So what do we do now?"

"We wait."







to be continued . . .