Nightmares in Taco Bell

"Taco BELL! Taco BELL! Taco taco taco!!" Chimed Duo,

bouncing up and down in the back of the car as Heero

twitched at the wheel. Trowa stared off into

nothingness as Wufei attempted to thwack Duo, in which

he had missed.

"Yes Duo! We are going to Taco bell to meet Quatre,

now can you please STOP?" Snapped Heero, who didn't do

anything more as Duo began singing "Oh McDonald, I

WANT FRIES."

They were all on the verge of insanity when they entered

Taco Bell. Quatre was sitting at a table, staring at

a burrito unwrapped and covered in a weird red sauce.

They all took a seat.

"What did you bring us here to talk about?" Said

Heero, focusing on the burrito. Quatre's eyes widened

in fear.

"That burrito just moved..." He whispered, slowly

lifting a straw like he was about to poke it.

"Quatre...?" Said Heero raising a brow.

"OH! It did it again!!!" Screamed Quatre, falling out

of his chair and scrambling away. The four stared at

the burrito, which obviously wasn't moving.

"I saw IT!" Yelled Duo, jumping up.

"Duo, sit down. That burrito ISN'T

moving...weaklings." Said Wufei, picking up the straw

and stabbing the burrito. A leprechaun scrambled from

it. Wufei's eyes widened as Heero stared casually.

The little Irish man began to do a jig as Wufei

yelled, jumping from his seat.

"What the hell?!?" Yelled Heero, staring at the still

burrito with a straw through it, seeing nothing more.

Quatre screamed again from across the Taco Bell as it

inched down the table leg and moved towards him. Duo

yelled as well.

Trowa turned as a small purple hippo came to sit on

his shoulder.

"Who are you?" Asked Trowa politely.

"I am Mr. HIPPO! And I am your frien'." He said with a

tiny voice. Trowa smiled and nodded, piercing the

hippo with his hair. The hippo shrieked.

"DUMB A**!! WHAT THE F*** IS UP WITH YOUR MOTHER

F***ING HAIR?!?" Mr. Hippo screamed, attempting to pry

himself from the golden brown spikes of death.

Trowa picked the hippo up into his hand, which looked

VERY odd to Heero.

"I am sorry, Mr. Hippo." He smiled, setting Mr. Hippo

on top of his head.

Wufei picked up a napkin dispenser and threw it at the

leprechaun, who was presently climbing up a table and

laughing insanely.

"It's got my LEEGGGGG!!! AHHH!!" Yelled Duo, slamming

his leg into a table as hard as he could.

Heero looked around, seeing the pilots going insane.

"What are you TALKING about?" He said, lifting the

burrito in it's wrapper and throwing it into a trash

can. Quatre yelled as 3 more burritos emerged from the

trash can.

"I'm going to have to ask you guys to leave..." Said a

man, walking up to Heero.

Wufei was in the background, battling with the

leprechaun attached to his nose.

Trowa was currently listening to the hippo's plan for

destruction, and Duo and Quatre were scrambling around

the room, Duo limping and Quatre throwing napkin

dispensers at mid-air.

"Mission accepted." Said Heero striking his hand pose

as the manager raised his eyebrow.

"Great, now they're all insane." He muttered, walking

back to call the police.

Heero jumped towards Trowa, putting him into a large

cage in which was pulled from his eyebrow. He walked

up to Duo and Quatre, pulling a giant trunk from his

eyebrow and locking them inside.

Wufei blinked as the little leprechaun flipped him off

and began screaming in Spanish how Wufei was but one

big cow. Not two big cows, not one big ostrich, but

one big cow.

Heero locked Wufei in a different cage...with the

leprechaun. The leprechaun smiled evilly with it's

beady eyes.

He shoved them all back into his eyebrows and walked

out, getting in the car and grumbling to himself.

"Mission 'Get The Freaks Out Of Taco Bell' :

completed." He smiled as he back up, ramming a nun bus

before speeding away.

Heero had put Duo and Quatre in a cage and set all

three cages in a circle around the room, pacing and

attempting to think in the yells that the burrito had

followed them and was crawling through the window.

Trowa smiled and rocked back and fourth, clutching his

knees. Wufei was in the corner of his cage, eyes

widened in horror.

"Now how could this have happened...? And why aren't I

going insane?" Muttered Heero, ceasing to pace. He

walked over to the couch and sat down. And then it hit

him.

Relena had come over and given them each a carrot a

week ago, a rather strange ordeal, but hey, it was a

free carrot. Heero had stored his away...

He walked down to his lab and removed the carrot from

his eyebrow, slicing a thin piece and placing it under

a microscope, attempting to stop the itching hunger

for a carrot.

"Just as I THOUGHT!" He said, seeing little Relena

shaped cells in the carrot. If he would have eaten it

he would have been in love with Relena...Dear God.

"Heeeeeeeeeeroo." Called Relena, stepping inside the

front door, studying the other pilots in cages. She

walked up to Duo and Quatre's.

"The burrito told me he's going to drink your

blood..." She whispered cruelly as she narrowed her

eyes. Duo and Quatre yelled in horror as the burrito

crawled into the cage.

"Oh, Relena!!" Yelled Heero, rushing from the lab with

an evil grin on his face. Relena's eyes lit up.

"My Heero!!" She giggled, jumping up and down, and

stretching out her arms for a hug. Heero ran past.

"Umm...Will you change them back to normal?" Asked

Heero, looking at Relena.

"If you kiss me!!" Giggled Relena, hopping up to

Heero.

"Okay...close your eyes..." Smiled Heero, as she did

so. He ripped a cow from his eyebrow and pushed it

into Relena's puckered lips. The cow was thrown out

the door as the poor thing died.

"Hippos ARE PEOPLE TOO!!!" A yell came from Trowa's

cage. "Mr. Hippo says you will burn in HELL!!!"

Relena smiled and clapped, the pilots suddenly

blinking back to normal.

Heero snatched up Relena and stuffed her into a cage,

rolling her out into the street as the nun bus came by

and pushed her along, to caught up in their rejoicful

singing to notice the girl who's hair suddenly got

caught in the bottom of her cage, or the big dent in

the side of their bus.

Heero opened all of the cages and smiled as Duo

limped over to the couch.

"Owww..." He moaned. Wufei slowly walked from the

cage. Quatre stared as Trowa walked into the kitchen

and sat behind a curve in the wall.

"I'm glad you guys aren't freaks anymore..." Uttered

Heero, looking at them. He chuckled to himself in his

own private joke.

Trowa pondered a long sharp kitchen knife as the four

pilots watched TV. He twisted the tip into his finger.

"Mr. Hippo says kill them...kill them all..." He said

with a gleam in his eye.

***Wee!! Clap for me or you shall suffer the wrath of

Mr. Hippo!!