Chocolate Bunnies
"YAY!! Sleep over!!" Giggled Duo, hopping up and down on Wufei's bed and clutching his pillow.
"Duo, calm down." Said Wufei flatly, turning to his clothes drawer "We are going to be at Quatre's in half an hour. See if you can wait without exploding. Why did Heero drop you off over here anyway?" Wufei growled and stuffed his green dragonfly pajamas into a pillow case.
"Ummm...He said he had to go to the dentist." Said Duo, who had stopped jumping but was on his back bouncing around. "I dunno why, he never said his teeth hurt. He did get pushed down a flight of stairs by some old lady who claimed she was Batman....malls are fun!" He laughed, talking quickly and holding his pillow tighter.
"I hope this sleep over turns out better than his last," said Wufei, turning to Duo and crossing his arms, ignoring the last few sentences of Duo.
"Shhhh...." whispered Duo, widening his eyes and holding his breath.
Quiet but recognizable music hummed out on the street, playing Pop- Goes-The-Weasel.
It was none other than the ice cream man.
"GIVE ME MONEY!!!" Squealed Duo, tumbling off of the bed and tripping on his to-long pajamas. Wufei threw a dollar at him in fear, and Duo was off like lightning.
He rushed past all of the small children chasing the truck, knocking a few over.
"GIVE ME SUGAR!" Duo snapped at the man, slamming down the dollar on the small plastic board.
"Ehhh," said the Hispanic man, "are you sure I should give you sugar? You look like you've had enough." He gave Duo a strange look.
"Just give me SUGAR!!! Or are you just like the shoe-shiner? Huh?! YOU WONT SELL ME CANDY BECAUSE I'M BLACK!!" Duo yelled, crawling through the small window and knocking down the shelves. "RACIST RACIST RACIST RACIST RACIST!!!"
"AHHH!!!" Yelled the man, crawling out the door and running away. The other children ran inside and ate the candy right beside Duo.
"Mr. Racist? YOU FORGOT YOUR DOLLAR!!" Called Duo out the window, waving his dollar with a confused look.
"Welcome!" Greeted Quatre, flailing open the large golden doors of a mansion as Wufei, Duo, and Trowa stepped inside.
"Duo, are you going to name this house too?" Smiled Quatre, throwing his arms at all of his golden furniture. Duo has given every one of Quatre's houses a name, from Stinky to Freiolo Mi Loscondez Ra Mai.
"It is...SHINAY..." Whispered Duo with widened eyes.
"Yay! Shinay it is then!" Quatre skipped away, rushing to the other side of the house.
"WHO WANTS TO PLAY TWISTER!!?" Giggled the blonde pilot, lifting a Twister box as he came into a large living room.
"OH, ME!" Said Duo, jumping up to Quatre. The other three pilots stared at the box like it were a cobra.
"C'mon guys...We can paint nails! And-and-and we can talk about our feelings!" Smiled Quatre beginning to spread the large plastic board out onto the ground. Wufei turned and began to run away but Heero grabbed his arm.
"Do not be weak." He uttered.
"I bet you I can withstand this better than you can." Snorted Wufei, ripping his arm away.
"Five hundred dollars says that I can last much longer than you can." Glared Heero.
"You're ON!" Said Wufei. "But let's make it interesting...one thousand dollars!"
"Deal." Snapped Heero.
"Let me in on that." Uttered Trowa to Heero, walking over to Quatre.
Quatre was holding the spinner and hopping up and down on the couch, right beside Duo.
"I say we get SUGAR!" Added Duo.
"I vote that we play one game first." Said Quatre, more pouting than asking.
"KAY!" Smiled Duo, jumping up and standing on one side of the board. The other pilots joined him wearily.
"Right hand....GREEN!" Shouted Quatre. Duo fell as Wufei and the others leaned down.
"Oops, I LOSE!" He shrugged, skipping away.
"Urggg." Growled Heero.
"Left haaaand RED! Right foot BLUE! Left hand YELLOW! Left foot BLUE! Right arm RED!" And Quatre continued on until the three pilots were in a billion knots. But nobody would fall.
"Get your butt out of my face, Wufei!" Yelped Heero, "Omai o korosu!"
"If Trowa gets his hair out of mine!" Said Wufei.
"Bite me!" Panted Trowa.
"OW!" Squealed Heero as Wufei bit his arm in the tangles.
"Ha ha, you bit Heero." Chuckled Trowa, "LoooooooooooooooooooSER! LooooSErrrr! OWWWWWYY!"
"Hee hee." Chuckled Wufei.
"I SAAID!" repeated Quatre, "right hand BLUE!"
"I can't do it..." Whispered Wufei dramatically, "no...I have failed Nataku!"
"LoooooSER!" Laughed Trowa.
Meanwhile Heero was carefully plotting the distance between red and blue. He planned and closed his eyes, slowly making the movement to the new color. Trowa's eyes widened.
"THAT'S MY DOT!!! LooooSERR!"
Heero snapped his hand down and left Trowa nothing else to put his hand on.
"Move!" He yelled, nudging Heero, only to realize it was Wufei's leg, then to realize it was his own arm. "Very well then..." Trowa bent very oddly around Wufei and touched the circle behind him, staring at the ceiling.
"Dude, you are scary." Uttered Wufei, looking around and taking Trowa's old dot. Then he fell. This caused Trowa to fall, which caused Heero to fall.
"I WIN!" Called Heero, jumping up and doing a very odd victory dance. Wufei was doing the Monkey Dance of Rage.
"BAKA! We all fell! We all lose!"
"LooooSER!" Repeated Trowa.
"But I stayed up the longest! Roll up your sleeve and eat THAT!" Snapped Heero, scurrying away.
"Yup! Hee-Chan wins!" Giggled Quatre, skipping away. Wufei pushed Trowa over and followed, satisfied with the *rip* of Trowa's hair piercing the Twister board.
They walked into the kitchen to see Duo having a chugging contest with Rashid. But they weren't chugging beer.
"C'MON!! YOU CAN DOWN MORE SUGAR THAN THAT!!" Yelled Duo, hyped out and twitching. "Sugar good! Good sugar like electric charges through your system in a hundred degree heat! Going down a hill on a scooter with no wheels doing fifty wearing nothing but socks!!!!"
"I can't..." Said Rashid hoarsely, coughing up sugar all over the already covered table. A bag fell to the floor and Duo looked like the world just ended.
"IT DIED SO YOUNG!!!" He screamed at the roof in tears. He knelt by the sugar and began scooping it by the handfuls into his mouth, muttering something about a proper burial.
"Duo, calm down!" Snapped Heero.
"LoooooSER!!" Yelled Trowa, walking in with the twister board wrapped around him like a turban, pointing at Rashid as he passed out. "...I couldn't get it off." Trowa answered Heero's staring at his Twist-O-Turban. Trowa glared at Wufei.
"Guys, I think Duo is about to go postal on that chair over there." Coughed Quatre, pointing at Duo, who was in a sumo-wrestling position with the chair.
"So! You dare challenge me?" Growled Duo. Syrupy sugar covered his face, his pupils were dilated, and a chocolate bunny was stuck in his braid. Yes, a chocolate bunny.
"Oh no!!" Cried Quatre, squealing at the ceiling. He ran away in tears.
"Quatre! It isn't that bad!" Called Heero, chasing him.
"Well? You're Chinese." Smiled Trowa at Wufei.
"Dually noted." Uttered Wufei, watching Duo actually being beaten by the chair.
"No—I mean, you're are supposed to knock him out with your karate moves." Corrected Trowa.
"What if I like flowers?" Replied Wufei.
"Huh?"
"You heard me. What if I like flowers, and elk, and sunsets? What if I like jellybeans on a hot summer day!?! WHAT IF I LIKE BUTTERFLIES?!? YOU LATINOS AND YOUR DAMN STEREO TYPES!!"
"Did you just say that all Latinos stereotype? Because that would be a stereotype." Stated Trowa.
"YES!"
"Kay…well…You confused Duo enough to knock him out, so you don't need to go Karate-Kung Fu-chow mein on him." Smiled Trowa, walked up to Duo and dragging him away by his bunnified braid. Wufei returned to silence and walked after him. They followed Quatre's weeping all the way up the stairs, into a green room.
"She's back…" Quatre whimpered, Heero trying to figure out how to pat someone's back. He thwacked the back of Quatre's head. Quatre's eyes bulged with tears.
"Dammit Heero!" Yelled Trowa, releasing Duo and running up to Quatre, hugging him. "What's wrong Quatre?"
"She's back…" Quatre repeated.
"Yes we know that." Said Heero, "but who is 'she'?"
"A girl stayed here once, five Easters ago. She loved chocolate Easter bunnies. She would hide them all over the house. But when Winter rolled around, she couldn't find one of them. They say it made her go insane. She disappeared. And the following Easter, I found a bunny in my butler's hair. The next morning I found him dead in front of my bedroom door. Since then I've banned Easter from my house. But it's December. Why would she be after Duo?"
"Penguins say ARK." Replied Duo, sitting up. He lifted the chocolate bunny from his hair and seemed to make it act like a penguin. "ARK! ARK!"
"Duo, shut up." Said Heero.
"Didn't you say she disappeared on Christmas? Well, maybe she is avenging her death. Duo, did you kill a little girl?" Asked Trowa.
"I don't think so," blinked Duo, "But Heero did!"
"SHUT UP DUO!" Screamed Heero, hitting him in the back of his head.
"Heero? You killed a little girl? Damn Japanese and their killing sprees." Growled Wufei.
"Hey! It was a long time ago, and I didn't even know her…She had a puppy…" His eyes watered and he ran downstairs.
Trowa socked Duo. "You're insensitive."
"Ark…" Whimpered Duo, rubbing his arm.
"We need to figure this out. Wufei, check the library, because you're Chinese." Said Trowa, pointing down the hall. Wufei mumbled "injustice" and walked away.
"Duo, stay here and guard Quatre. I'm going back down to the kitchen." Said Trowa, walking away. Duo got up as Trowa left. He made the chocolate bunny kiss Quatre's nose.
"Ark." Duo giggled. Then he bit off the bunny's head, screaming, "ARK! ARK! ARK!!" He then made an explosion sound, letting the body fall to the floor. All of a sudden they heard a scream coming from the library. All four pilots rushed into the room.
Wufei was staring wide-eyed at a chocolate-covered glove, blood was all over the floor. Books lay open and strewn all over the room.
"Whoa…Chinese people are clumsy--" Trowa was cut off by Wufei throwing the glove at his head.
"Shut up!" Ordered Wufei.
"What would you do for KLONDIKE BAR?" Was a small whisper from Duo.
"Kill!" Shouted a voice from the closet. Trowa slowly approached it as Quatre clung to Heero. Heero, again trying to pat his back, smacked his head.
As Trowa flung open the door, a vision of Dorothy in all black covering her mouth was terrified.
"OH MY GOD!!" Cried Quatre.
"It's okay Quatre, she won't torment you anymore." Said Trowa, grabbing Dorothy.
"No, it's not that. Black brings out her eyebrows." Whimpered Quatre. All of the other pilots noticed and in unison said "Eww…"
"You may have caught me, but you'll never catch my partner." She growled, "You meddling kids."
"Why did you do that to Quatre?" Shouted Trowa.
"Because he didn't love me!!" Dorothy yelled.
"So you killed his butler?" Questioned Wufei.
"Yes." She replied, like it was a silly question.
"Then I know who your partner is." Called Heero, who was currently racing down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen, to find Relena giggling and putting make-up all over Rashid. The others followed.
"Relena?" Whispered Heero.
"You stupid brunette!! You were supposed to set the house on fire and send me the signal!" Yelled Dorothy. Relena dropped the lipstick and widened her eyes.
"But he was lying there so still. Until he started having convulsions. Then the blush got so hard to put on…" She trailed off.
"Oh yeah, and guys, you owe me a thousand dollars." Said Trowa, "I was the only one who didn't freak out."
"Injustice!" Shouted Wufei.
"But I didn't freak out…" Said Heero as Wufei dug into his pocket.
"Heero…She had a puppy…" Whispered Trowa. Heero flung the money at him and ran away with teary eyes. All of a sudden the police burst in, and arrested Dorothy and Relena. The went on and on about meddling kids because the creative writers decided to get drunk and do the Macarena. Their heads exploded.
THE END
ArK
"YAY!! Sleep over!!" Giggled Duo, hopping up and down on Wufei's bed and clutching his pillow.
"Duo, calm down." Said Wufei flatly, turning to his clothes drawer "We are going to be at Quatre's in half an hour. See if you can wait without exploding. Why did Heero drop you off over here anyway?" Wufei growled and stuffed his green dragonfly pajamas into a pillow case.
"Ummm...He said he had to go to the dentist." Said Duo, who had stopped jumping but was on his back bouncing around. "I dunno why, he never said his teeth hurt. He did get pushed down a flight of stairs by some old lady who claimed she was Batman....malls are fun!" He laughed, talking quickly and holding his pillow tighter.
"I hope this sleep over turns out better than his last," said Wufei, turning to Duo and crossing his arms, ignoring the last few sentences of Duo.
"Shhhh...." whispered Duo, widening his eyes and holding his breath.
Quiet but recognizable music hummed out on the street, playing Pop- Goes-The-Weasel.
It was none other than the ice cream man.
"GIVE ME MONEY!!!" Squealed Duo, tumbling off of the bed and tripping on his to-long pajamas. Wufei threw a dollar at him in fear, and Duo was off like lightning.
He rushed past all of the small children chasing the truck, knocking a few over.
"GIVE ME SUGAR!" Duo snapped at the man, slamming down the dollar on the small plastic board.
"Ehhh," said the Hispanic man, "are you sure I should give you sugar? You look like you've had enough." He gave Duo a strange look.
"Just give me SUGAR!!! Or are you just like the shoe-shiner? Huh?! YOU WONT SELL ME CANDY BECAUSE I'M BLACK!!" Duo yelled, crawling through the small window and knocking down the shelves. "RACIST RACIST RACIST RACIST RACIST!!!"
"AHHH!!!" Yelled the man, crawling out the door and running away. The other children ran inside and ate the candy right beside Duo.
"Mr. Racist? YOU FORGOT YOUR DOLLAR!!" Called Duo out the window, waving his dollar with a confused look.
"Welcome!" Greeted Quatre, flailing open the large golden doors of a mansion as Wufei, Duo, and Trowa stepped inside.
"Duo, are you going to name this house too?" Smiled Quatre, throwing his arms at all of his golden furniture. Duo has given every one of Quatre's houses a name, from Stinky to Freiolo Mi Loscondez Ra Mai.
"It is...SHINAY..." Whispered Duo with widened eyes.
"Yay! Shinay it is then!" Quatre skipped away, rushing to the other side of the house.
"WHO WANTS TO PLAY TWISTER!!?" Giggled the blonde pilot, lifting a Twister box as he came into a large living room.
"OH, ME!" Said Duo, jumping up to Quatre. The other three pilots stared at the box like it were a cobra.
"C'mon guys...We can paint nails! And-and-and we can talk about our feelings!" Smiled Quatre beginning to spread the large plastic board out onto the ground. Wufei turned and began to run away but Heero grabbed his arm.
"Do not be weak." He uttered.
"I bet you I can withstand this better than you can." Snorted Wufei, ripping his arm away.
"Five hundred dollars says that I can last much longer than you can." Glared Heero.
"You're ON!" Said Wufei. "But let's make it interesting...one thousand dollars!"
"Deal." Snapped Heero.
"Let me in on that." Uttered Trowa to Heero, walking over to Quatre.
Quatre was holding the spinner and hopping up and down on the couch, right beside Duo.
"I say we get SUGAR!" Added Duo.
"I vote that we play one game first." Said Quatre, more pouting than asking.
"KAY!" Smiled Duo, jumping up and standing on one side of the board. The other pilots joined him wearily.
"Right hand....GREEN!" Shouted Quatre. Duo fell as Wufei and the others leaned down.
"Oops, I LOSE!" He shrugged, skipping away.
"Urggg." Growled Heero.
"Left haaaand RED! Right foot BLUE! Left hand YELLOW! Left foot BLUE! Right arm RED!" And Quatre continued on until the three pilots were in a billion knots. But nobody would fall.
"Get your butt out of my face, Wufei!" Yelped Heero, "Omai o korosu!"
"If Trowa gets his hair out of mine!" Said Wufei.
"Bite me!" Panted Trowa.
"OW!" Squealed Heero as Wufei bit his arm in the tangles.
"Ha ha, you bit Heero." Chuckled Trowa, "LoooooooooooooooooooSER! LooooSErrrr! OWWWWWYY!"
"Hee hee." Chuckled Wufei.
"I SAAID!" repeated Quatre, "right hand BLUE!"
"I can't do it..." Whispered Wufei dramatically, "no...I have failed Nataku!"
"LoooooSER!" Laughed Trowa.
Meanwhile Heero was carefully plotting the distance between red and blue. He planned and closed his eyes, slowly making the movement to the new color. Trowa's eyes widened.
"THAT'S MY DOT!!! LooooSERR!"
Heero snapped his hand down and left Trowa nothing else to put his hand on.
"Move!" He yelled, nudging Heero, only to realize it was Wufei's leg, then to realize it was his own arm. "Very well then..." Trowa bent very oddly around Wufei and touched the circle behind him, staring at the ceiling.
"Dude, you are scary." Uttered Wufei, looking around and taking Trowa's old dot. Then he fell. This caused Trowa to fall, which caused Heero to fall.
"I WIN!" Called Heero, jumping up and doing a very odd victory dance. Wufei was doing the Monkey Dance of Rage.
"BAKA! We all fell! We all lose!"
"LooooSER!" Repeated Trowa.
"But I stayed up the longest! Roll up your sleeve and eat THAT!" Snapped Heero, scurrying away.
"Yup! Hee-Chan wins!" Giggled Quatre, skipping away. Wufei pushed Trowa over and followed, satisfied with the *rip* of Trowa's hair piercing the Twister board.
They walked into the kitchen to see Duo having a chugging contest with Rashid. But they weren't chugging beer.
"C'MON!! YOU CAN DOWN MORE SUGAR THAN THAT!!" Yelled Duo, hyped out and twitching. "Sugar good! Good sugar like electric charges through your system in a hundred degree heat! Going down a hill on a scooter with no wheels doing fifty wearing nothing but socks!!!!"
"I can't..." Said Rashid hoarsely, coughing up sugar all over the already covered table. A bag fell to the floor and Duo looked like the world just ended.
"IT DIED SO YOUNG!!!" He screamed at the roof in tears. He knelt by the sugar and began scooping it by the handfuls into his mouth, muttering something about a proper burial.
"Duo, calm down!" Snapped Heero.
"LoooooSER!!" Yelled Trowa, walking in with the twister board wrapped around him like a turban, pointing at Rashid as he passed out. "...I couldn't get it off." Trowa answered Heero's staring at his Twist-O-Turban. Trowa glared at Wufei.
"Guys, I think Duo is about to go postal on that chair over there." Coughed Quatre, pointing at Duo, who was in a sumo-wrestling position with the chair.
"So! You dare challenge me?" Growled Duo. Syrupy sugar covered his face, his pupils were dilated, and a chocolate bunny was stuck in his braid. Yes, a chocolate bunny.
"Oh no!!" Cried Quatre, squealing at the ceiling. He ran away in tears.
"Quatre! It isn't that bad!" Called Heero, chasing him.
"Well? You're Chinese." Smiled Trowa at Wufei.
"Dually noted." Uttered Wufei, watching Duo actually being beaten by the chair.
"No—I mean, you're are supposed to knock him out with your karate moves." Corrected Trowa.
"What if I like flowers?" Replied Wufei.
"Huh?"
"You heard me. What if I like flowers, and elk, and sunsets? What if I like jellybeans on a hot summer day!?! WHAT IF I LIKE BUTTERFLIES?!? YOU LATINOS AND YOUR DAMN STEREO TYPES!!"
"Did you just say that all Latinos stereotype? Because that would be a stereotype." Stated Trowa.
"YES!"
"Kay…well…You confused Duo enough to knock him out, so you don't need to go Karate-Kung Fu-chow mein on him." Smiled Trowa, walked up to Duo and dragging him away by his bunnified braid. Wufei returned to silence and walked after him. They followed Quatre's weeping all the way up the stairs, into a green room.
"She's back…" Quatre whimpered, Heero trying to figure out how to pat someone's back. He thwacked the back of Quatre's head. Quatre's eyes bulged with tears.
"Dammit Heero!" Yelled Trowa, releasing Duo and running up to Quatre, hugging him. "What's wrong Quatre?"
"She's back…" Quatre repeated.
"Yes we know that." Said Heero, "but who is 'she'?"
"A girl stayed here once, five Easters ago. She loved chocolate Easter bunnies. She would hide them all over the house. But when Winter rolled around, she couldn't find one of them. They say it made her go insane. She disappeared. And the following Easter, I found a bunny in my butler's hair. The next morning I found him dead in front of my bedroom door. Since then I've banned Easter from my house. But it's December. Why would she be after Duo?"
"Penguins say ARK." Replied Duo, sitting up. He lifted the chocolate bunny from his hair and seemed to make it act like a penguin. "ARK! ARK!"
"Duo, shut up." Said Heero.
"Didn't you say she disappeared on Christmas? Well, maybe she is avenging her death. Duo, did you kill a little girl?" Asked Trowa.
"I don't think so," blinked Duo, "But Heero did!"
"SHUT UP DUO!" Screamed Heero, hitting him in the back of his head.
"Heero? You killed a little girl? Damn Japanese and their killing sprees." Growled Wufei.
"Hey! It was a long time ago, and I didn't even know her…She had a puppy…" His eyes watered and he ran downstairs.
Trowa socked Duo. "You're insensitive."
"Ark…" Whimpered Duo, rubbing his arm.
"We need to figure this out. Wufei, check the library, because you're Chinese." Said Trowa, pointing down the hall. Wufei mumbled "injustice" and walked away.
"Duo, stay here and guard Quatre. I'm going back down to the kitchen." Said Trowa, walking away. Duo got up as Trowa left. He made the chocolate bunny kiss Quatre's nose.
"Ark." Duo giggled. Then he bit off the bunny's head, screaming, "ARK! ARK! ARK!!" He then made an explosion sound, letting the body fall to the floor. All of a sudden they heard a scream coming from the library. All four pilots rushed into the room.
Wufei was staring wide-eyed at a chocolate-covered glove, blood was all over the floor. Books lay open and strewn all over the room.
"Whoa…Chinese people are clumsy--" Trowa was cut off by Wufei throwing the glove at his head.
"Shut up!" Ordered Wufei.
"What would you do for KLONDIKE BAR?" Was a small whisper from Duo.
"Kill!" Shouted a voice from the closet. Trowa slowly approached it as Quatre clung to Heero. Heero, again trying to pat his back, smacked his head.
As Trowa flung open the door, a vision of Dorothy in all black covering her mouth was terrified.
"OH MY GOD!!" Cried Quatre.
"It's okay Quatre, she won't torment you anymore." Said Trowa, grabbing Dorothy.
"No, it's not that. Black brings out her eyebrows." Whimpered Quatre. All of the other pilots noticed and in unison said "Eww…"
"You may have caught me, but you'll never catch my partner." She growled, "You meddling kids."
"Why did you do that to Quatre?" Shouted Trowa.
"Because he didn't love me!!" Dorothy yelled.
"So you killed his butler?" Questioned Wufei.
"Yes." She replied, like it was a silly question.
"Then I know who your partner is." Called Heero, who was currently racing down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen, to find Relena giggling and putting make-up all over Rashid. The others followed.
"Relena?" Whispered Heero.
"You stupid brunette!! You were supposed to set the house on fire and send me the signal!" Yelled Dorothy. Relena dropped the lipstick and widened her eyes.
"But he was lying there so still. Until he started having convulsions. Then the blush got so hard to put on…" She trailed off.
"Oh yeah, and guys, you owe me a thousand dollars." Said Trowa, "I was the only one who didn't freak out."
"Injustice!" Shouted Wufei.
"But I didn't freak out…" Said Heero as Wufei dug into his pocket.
"Heero…She had a puppy…" Whispered Trowa. Heero flung the money at him and ran away with teary eyes. All of a sudden the police burst in, and arrested Dorothy and Relena. The went on and on about meddling kids because the creative writers decided to get drunk and do the Macarena. Their heads exploded.
THE END
ArK