Les Gets Laid
aka "Spot Lays an Egg" aka "Jori Tries to Rhyme"
a "Newsies" epic poem
by hesperos
A long time ago (about a century)
A boy lived in Brooklyn, NYC.
With his big stick in hand and his trusty sling-shot
Everyone feared this boy called Spot.
Then over the Brooklyn Bridge one night
Came Jack, a fearless Manhattanite
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
"I've come for you," Jack said with a leer
Spot's eyes widened as Jack dropped to his knees
He said, "Jack, this is a school assignment — please!"
Jack pouted and said, "Well screw that idea then
Let's make this as ridiculous as we can"
Spot awoke the next morning feeling funny
His tummy hurt and his nose was runny
(Yeah, I know that was really bad
I can't rhyme, so sue me, it was all I had)
He wondered why Jack had left in such a hurry
But there were more important things about which to worry
There were papes to sell (well he had to get paid)
And, of course, there was an egg to be laid
An egg? Oh yes, you read that right
A biological miracle had occurred last night
(Since I'm too lazy to write all this stuff
Right now we're gonna skip a whole bunch)
The requisite nine months went by in a flash
And over the bridge "Jack-be-nimble" did dash
As out of the egg hatched a cute baby Spot
The boys noticed this dumb poem has no real plot
"This 'epic' thing is already a mess"
Spot agreed, so they named the kid Les
Then Jori lost inspiration, so she broke meter, and let Jack and Spot go boff in a tree (Happy, Liz?)
THE END.
aka "Spot Lays an Egg" aka "Jori Tries to Rhyme"
a "Newsies" epic poem
by hesperos
A long time ago (about a century)
A boy lived in Brooklyn, NYC.
With his big stick in hand and his trusty sling-shot
Everyone feared this boy called Spot.
Then over the Brooklyn Bridge one night
Came Jack, a fearless Manhattanite
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
"I've come for you," Jack said with a leer
Spot's eyes widened as Jack dropped to his knees
He said, "Jack, this is a school assignment — please!"
Jack pouted and said, "Well screw that idea then
Let's make this as ridiculous as we can"
Spot awoke the next morning feeling funny
His tummy hurt and his nose was runny
(Yeah, I know that was really bad
I can't rhyme, so sue me, it was all I had)
He wondered why Jack had left in such a hurry
But there were more important things about which to worry
There were papes to sell (well he had to get paid)
And, of course, there was an egg to be laid
An egg? Oh yes, you read that right
A biological miracle had occurred last night
(Since I'm too lazy to write all this stuff
Right now we're gonna skip a whole bunch)
The requisite nine months went by in a flash
And over the bridge "Jack-be-nimble" did dash
As out of the egg hatched a cute baby Spot
The boys noticed this dumb poem has no real plot
"This 'epic' thing is already a mess"
Spot agreed, so they named the kid Les
Then Jori lost inspiration, so she broke meter, and let Jack and Spot go boff in a tree (Happy, Liz?)
THE END.