Chapter 2: Wistful Reflections
Hitomi sat with her legs crossed under the metal desk, her foot swaying back and forth in circles to a tune only she could hear. It was playing through her head, almost like a soundtrack to all her vivid memories of that strange place she had disappeared to a few months ago. Upon returning to Earth, or as she now thought of it, the Mystic Moon, Hitomi was desperate to slide back into the old lifestyle she had lost during her absence. She didn't want anyone to suspect she had changed in the slightest since the last time they'd seen her. The girl knew that if she ever let that cheery mask slip off her face, exposing her true, melancholy self, her mother would worry, Yukari would ask a million questions out of concern for her best friend, and Hitomi herself would break down in tears of regret and longing. As a result, Hitomi kept her emotions bottled up, letting them flood out only when she was alone. The last thing she needed was for her family and friends to get tied up in knots agonizing over what could be wrong with her.
Although Hitomi hadn't picked up her tarot cards since returning, she did keep up other interests, including running on the track team. She had been reluctant to re-join at first, but as Yukari pointed out, she loved running more than anything, so training like she always used to would probably make her feel better. She decided to go along with Yukari's reasoning, even though the very sight of the track reminded her of when she first met him… the one who would take her to his world, the one she despised at first but would eventually fall for. Hitomi realized the people closest to her got the subtle feeling she wasn't as carefree as she pretended to be, and that deep down, something must be wrong. Why else would her best friend want to make her feel better? Still, she refused to let them in on the real reason, simply reassuring everyone she was fine, just a little stressed about catching up on all the schoolwork she'd missed. Is that what I came back home to do? Hitomi often found herself wondering if she had made the right decision three months ago, when she had departed from Gaia. Did I come home to alienate myself from the people who matter most to me on Earth by lying to them, and spend all my spare time holed up in my bedroom crying? I hate feeling so guilty, but how could anyone understand what I went through on Gaia…. and what I went through with Van...
Hitomi sighed, knowing full well she had better start paying attention, or her grades would suffer. As the teacher droned on with his never-ending lecture about the always-fascinating polynomials, the tawny brunette impatiently tapped her pen against the corner of her desk. Class would be over in ten minutes, and after breezing through track practice, Hitomi would finally be able to go home and relax.
Sure enough, the bell rang, signaling the termination of a long and trying day of high school. "Hitomi!" the young manager of the track team called from across the room. Her friend, busy piling heavy textbooks into her backpack, looked up. Spotting Yukari's eager face, Hitomi gave her a warm smile as she slung the bag over her shoulder and walked over to join the gathering of noisy students, who were busily exchanging the latest gossip.
"Hitomi," Yukari repeated, linking arms with her best amiga, "Amano and I were gonna go to a movie after track practice. Wanna come?"
"Uh, no thanks Yukari. I'm sorry, but I'd feel like a third wheel!"
"Now, now, my friend, there's no way in the world you could feel like a third wheel…" The mahogany-haired girl had a mischievous gleam in her eye. "Especially if we invited a fourth person!"
"Uh-huh, and who did you have in mind?" Hitomi had a feeling she already knew what was coming.
"How about… him?" Yukari pointed her index finger at some random guy passing them in the hallway, where they were now strolling at a snail's pace, oblivious to the other kids pushing past them in an effort to get out of the school building as soon as possible.
Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Yukari, we don't know him!"
"I know, just kidding!" she giggled. "But seriously, Hitomi, wouldn't it be fun to go out on a double date?"
"Oh, no… really Yukari, I'm not in the mood to be set up with anyone right now. Actually, I'm not really in the mood for dating right now-"
"You're never 'in the mood'."
"Yu-Yukari?" Hitomi's eyes widened in surprise. All the laughter and warmth in her friend's voice had faded. Yukari was now glaring at Hitomi in anger and frustration.
"Hitomi, ever since you got back from… from wherever it is you disappeared to, because may I remind you that you never told me what happened, you haven't been acting like yourself! You're my best friend. I can tell when something's wrong, and believe me, I know something is very wrong! You plaster this phony smile on your face, trying to convince everyone you're all right, everything's just as it's always been. But you've changed, Hitomi!"
"Oh, Yukari… " Hitomi's voice wavered as her eyes filled up with tears for the second time that day.
Yukari's face softened, and she continued gently, "Whatever happened to you while you were gone… no matter what it is… I'll listen."
The sandy-haired girl stared at her friend's silently pleading eyes. I need to tell her, Hitomi realized. I was so close with Yukari before that pillar of light came and swooped me up into the sky, taking my old, uncomplicated life away from me. Now I have it back again… I have the chance to continue where I left off. I don't need to lie anymore.
Hitomi stepped over to her best friend and gave her an apologetic hug. "I'm so sorry, Yukari," she said softly. "You deserve to know."
Pulling back, Yukari smiled forgivingly. "Come on. We'll talk after practice, ok?"
~*~*~*~
After three months of busy construction work, Fanelia was well on its way to becoming the scenic country it once was. As Van walked through the village, the late afternoon sun casting slanted shadows over the new houses, he recognized familiar landmarks that were rebuilt in the same location as they had been standing before the mass destruction. Even all the little shops and quaint boutiques had resumed business as usual on their original properties. One of them in particular had something on display in the window that caught his eye. The king crossed the road to get a better look.
'Day-wear Gown', read the handwritten sign. 'Imported from Asturia'. Van stared at the dress in wonder. That's the same dress Hitomi borrowed from Millerna! She was more beautiful than anyone else could ever be in it…
"I see you've found something to wear to dinner tonight?"
Van spun around, startled. He found himself in front of a familiar blue-eyed man whose blond, shiny hair cascaded down his back. "Allen! What are you doing here?" He hadn't seen the gallant knight ever since the war ended.
"I'm passing through Fanelia on some business. Unfortunately, I won't be here very long. I see the royal court and townspeople have done a wonderful job on the reconstruction!"
"Thank you, " Van replied, sincerity echoing in his voice. He really was pleased to have foreigners admire his country once again.
"Van…" Allen continued hesitantly. "How has everything been going… since-?"
Van sighed, aware of what Allen was getting at but not wanting to pursue the subject. "I've only communicated with her once. She let me know she was doing fine."
"And how about you?"
"Well, I- I'm just trying to deal with it at this point." Van answered truthfully, his shoulders slumping.
"Don't worry. You're a great king, loved by your people. Fanelia is already becoming the strong empire it once was, and I'm sure it will continue to flourish. It may take some time for your heart to heal, but you have a bright future ahead of you."
"I can't think like that right now! I will keep doing what's best for Fanelia, but I could never just forget about Hitomi," Van's dark amber eyes flashed indignantly.
"I'm not asking you to," the swordsman responded calmly. "I miss Hitomi, as well…although I know now that what I shared with her is nothing compared to your love for eachother. Just some friendly advice, Van: don't dwell on the past. Focus on what's ahead."
I don't care about my personal future, unless Hitomi's in it. But since she's doing 'fine', I'd better not get in the way of her new life by asking her to visit, let alone come back to Gaea for good! Van thought bitterly. He had been relieved to hear she was doing all right back on the Mystic Moon, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that continuing to communicate with her would just make it harder for Hitomi to grow re-accustomed to her old surroundings. So, he had stopped. But life without his love was like being stuck in a dreary, never-ending fog. He could almost feel looming storm clouds trapping him in his own depression. He just felt so lost without her. Van's mind traveled to the dream he had had the night before- of lying under the stars with Hitomi, not talking but simply enjoying the beautiful midnight and each other's company. Although pleasant, it had been a painful reminder of what he would never have.
"Well, Allen- " The young king paused, then promptly changed the subject. "I trust you've been given a room in the castle?"
"Yes, I was there earlier," Allen smiled gratefully, then winked. "Now, Van, how 'bout that gown?"
~*~*~*~
The raven-haired teen leaned on the balcony railing, his face rested comfortably on his fist. Hitomi and Merle were several feet below, acting silly as they played some strange Mystic Moon game that seemed to involve a lot of running around and ducking behind large bushes. Van looked on in confusion for a while, before his thoughts turned to the previous night. Grinning, he remembered how Hitomi had willingly accepted his offering arm and cozied up to him, her head finding the right spot to rest on his shoulder. Could she feel for me what I do for her? Although he didn't question his certainty that Hitomi cared deeply for him as a friend, he wondered if she had ever, or would ever, think of him as something more. She hadn't shifted away from him before falling asleep, and it didn't take long for Van to doze off as well. But that dream he had had before awakening bothered him; it had been nagging at the back of Van's brain all day long. The problem was, he didn't understand the meaning of any of it. The dark storm clouds, the feeling of being lost and depressed… there was nothing going on in his life right now that should make him feel that way. And even more puzzling was the vision of Hitomi, shedding tears as she trudged along the rainy streets of a land alien to Van. It must have been the Mystic Moon, but why? Hitomi was here, on Gaea with him. The most upsetting part of the nightmare had been the discovery that he was invisible and unheard, therefore unable to comfort Hitomi. Van had so many questions about the dream, but no one he could turn to for answers.
A/N: Sorry for this chapter, it's just full of explanations that I had to put in. I know the story's been mostly description so far. Anyway starting with chapter 3, there will be a lot more talking, action, and V/H stuff happening! I swear! And I know people (Rosie!) are probably confused about some things like Hitomi being on Gaea and Earth… but you'll see, hehe ;) (And if you do get it please don't mention what it is in a review, thanx :) ~Starry Eyes