Chapter 3: Assumptions
"And that's everything, right up until I arrived back here, on Earth, by way of the same pillar of light that first brought me there," Hitomi finished with a heavy exhalation. The two girls were seated comfortably on her bed.
"Oh, Hitomi…" was all Yukari could think of to say. Throughout the recounting of her friend's trip, she had been mostly silent, listening attentively for she knew Hitomi needed to get this off her chest. And what an incredible story it was! But Yukari couldn't help the occasional interruption to ask questions about certain events, namely Hitomi's first kiss, with the dreamy knight Allen Schezar. Yukari had gasped upon realizing just how many times her own best friend's life had been at stake. When the subject turned to Van Fanel, that boy who slew the dragon, she could tell he meant more to Hitomi than any handsome blond ever could. Just the way she spoke of him, and the far-away look that came over her features gave her away.
"You must miss him so much," Yukari said as she gave the misty-eyed girl a sympathetic hug.
"I do, Yukari, more than ever. It doesn't help that I dream about him every single night, either. Last night," Hitomi sighed then went on. "I dreamed we were together again, on Gaia. We were lying on the grass, staring up at the Earth and moon in the sky. I know it was just a fantasy, but it seemed so real! As if I was seeing something that could actually be happening…but that's impossible. He's on Gaia, I'm here on Earth, and that's just the way…" her voice trailed off.
Yukari's brows creased with concern. "I know it must be hard now," she said understandingly. "But you will get through this. Eventually, you'll remember Van without feeling pain. You'll think of what you had while you were together, not what could have been if you had stayed with him."
"I know," Hitomi answered sadly. "Eventually."
With a small smile, Yukari continued, "I'm sorry about what I said to you at school earlier. I understand why you didn't feel like talking about anything, but I'm glad you told me."
"It's okay. There's no way you could have known," reassured Hitomi, trying her best to return the smile. Truthfully, she wasn't ready to let go of Van just yet. If she reached a point where she could think of him without being downhearted, wouldn't that mean she had stopped loving him? Even though it hurt, Hitomi wanted to continue caring for him. But with each passing day, a tangled knot of insecurity grew within her, as a result of an unanswered question: Would Van move on, while Hitomi stayed stuck in a dead end, loving him for the rest of her life? Of course, the girl had no idea that, a world away, Van was struggling with the very same doubts.
At the same time, far away from each of those lonely teens' situations, there was a Gaia on which Van and Hitomi found themselves in a very different predicament. However, it mirrored the separated couple's circumstances in some ways. Although it had been three months since the end of the war, and the two had both spent those months in Fanelia, they had had barely any time to spend together.
Making her way through the elegant corridors of the recently redecorated castle, Hitomi tried to catch her breath as she headed for the dining hall. The flushed girl entered the majestic arched doorway, walked over to the long table and pulled out a chair, smoothing back her wind-blown hair before sitting down. She leaned back, her heavy panting echoing in the large empty room. Hitomi had rushed in from playing outdoors with Merle, in fear of being late for dinner. Merle had scampered off somewhere, probably to find Van and tell him it was time to eat. Now Hitomi realized she was a little early, and probably would have been better off changing her sweaty clothes prior to supper.
"Tired?" an amused voice asked. Hitomi straightened up in her chair to see Van leaning against the doorframe, watching her with a cute smirk on his face.
She grinned and exhaled loudly. "Very!"
He sauntered casually over to the table and took a seat. "How was your day, Hitomi?"
"Um… okay, I guess," she said glumly. She paused. "It was fun hanging around with Merle!" she added hastily. That was true, but Hitomi wished she could be around Van once in a while. He had been so busy with the construction lately and she didn't want to bug him.
"I see you two have become pretty good friends. That's great," he replied. Why does she never seem to want to spend time with me? Three months ago, Van thought she returned his love, but he could see now that things had changed. The previous night under the stars had been the only time the tawny-haired girl had really paid attention to him ever since she had taken residence in the castle.
"Van?" Hitomi said timidly. He looked at her questioningly. "Maybe tomorrow… that is, if you're not busy… we could go for a walk? Merle told me about this beautiful field just beyond the woods where all sorts of wildflowers grow. I'd really like to see it, and I thought maybe you would like to come with me?"
"I'd love to, Hitomi. I know which field you're talking about; I used to go there sometimes, with Folken." She does want to do something with me… maybe she was trying to tell me that last night. But why has she been ignoring me for weeks?
The green-eyed girl smiled to herself. I guess it's possible he still thinks about things other than the reconstruction of Fanelia. Their minds both traveled back to the moment she told Van she wanted to stay on Gaia instead of going home to the Mystic Moon.
***
Van had brought her to a small clearing in the forest. She stood behind him as he said a few words to his brother's grave, and before she knew it, he was jumping down from Escaflowne, the energist in his hand. It was time to say goodbye to the man she had fallen in love with. Hitomi couldn't believe they were parting so soon, and she couldn't ignore the feeling of heart-wrenching sadness washing over her.
"Van…"
"Escaflowne should be kept asleep. My brother's wish was for a Fanelia- for a Gaia- where no one would rely on it. I want to see what that world is like, Hitomi."
"And I want to see it with you. Or can I?" she asked despondently. "The truth is, I love it here. I love Fanelia."
"If you want, it would be more than fine with me." Hitomi looked at him, surprised. Van had a glimmer of hope in his eye, but it was mixed with emotions of anguish and acceptance, as if he already knew what was coming- there was no avoiding Hitomi's leaving.
"Van, I…" Hitomi wanted so much to see her family and friends on Earth again. But when thinking about returning to her old life, it felt so insufficient. Perhaps it was simply the fact that she had been on Gaia for so long, apart from her short visit back to Earth, and she had grown accustomed to life there. All she knew was that it just felt right to stay and continue to grow up where she was. Naturally, there was also the fact that she was completely in love with Van and would be perfectly happy spending her life with him.
"I want to stay with you!" she blurted out.
Van blinked in shock. Had he heard right? Hitomi, who had always been so adamant on returning to the Mystic Moon, was saying she wanted to stay with him?
"Uh. Hitomi?" was all he could utter.
Blush crept onto Hitomi's cheeks as she realized how blunt she must have sounded. She would have to explain her reasons for the sudden change of plan, which meant telling Van, to his face, that she loved him. She swallowed hard. "I… you know how much I love this world, and," her voice shook, "…the people in it." Her eyes lowered to the ground in defeat. She was sure he knew already, as he had heard her confess in a vision, so why was it so difficult to repeat it to his face? "I belong here, Van, Gaia is my new home. If I went back to Earth, things would never be the same." She fiddled with her pendant as she spoke.
Van had no idea how to express the way he felt upon hearing those words. "Hitomi," he beamed, "If that's what you want, I'm so happy to hear you say so." His heart was hammering a million miles a minute at the thought that he would be able to actually see her any time he wanted. Although she hadn't said anything about it in their conversation, he was ecstatic because she had confessed her love, even if it wasn't directly. He would play it cool for now in order to give Hitomi some time to think about when she wanted to come out with it to his face. If she couldn't talk about it at the moment, it was okay. They had their whole lives ahead of them to be together.
***
At least, that was what Van had thought then. Now, he only had an ounce of hope left in him. Everything depended on what would happen tomorrow, when they went for their little outing to the wildflower field. Hitomi was thinking the same thing- if Van could take some time out of his busy schedule and "pencil her in", maybe he did want to spend more time with her.
As the minutes passed, the dining hall was becoming more and more crowded with hungry people in anticipation of a large meal. The still room was now alive with noisy chattering and hearty laughter. After everyone was seated, the talk died down a little as people began to eat. At one end of the table, Van was seated in a high-backed chair, with Hitomi and Merle across from each other on either side. Next to Merle were a few of the more burly male members of the royal court, who were in charge of the castle's renovation. They were deep in conversation, devising plans for which area of the castle they would restore tomorrow. The two teens and the catgirl were chitchatting about how they'd spent the day.
"That game we were playing was so much fun, Hitomi! What do you call it again?"
"Hide and go seek," Hitomi replied, rolling her eyes. "You probably like it so much because your feline instincts tell you to prowl around."
"Well, I'm a cat, what do you expect?" Merle said defensively. "Besides, it was something to do," she reasoned in a bored voice.
"What did you work on today, Van?" Hitomi asked. Before he could open his mouth to respond, Merle jumped in. "Oh, Lord Van, that was so sweet of you to help that family with their new roof! And those kids who were putting in a door that they could barely lift by themselves! You really helped out a lot of people today!" Van grinned, glad he could be of service to the villagers.
One of the brawny court men heard Merle's raving and added, "Yeah, your majesty, you should really come out again tomorrow and give us a hand with the west end of the kingdom's restoration. It needs a lot of work, so we'll use as many men as we can get!"
"Sure, I don't mind helping at all," agreed Van immediately. Without thinking, he continued, "It's not like I have anything better to do, anyway."
Hitomi's heart sank. So that's what he really thinks. If she had any optimism before, it had completely disintegrated now. It was crystal clear to her that Van was no longer interested in pursuing a relationship. She hadn't figured out why, but wasn't all that keen on finding out. What difference would it make? He said it himself- he has nothing better to do than work on the construction. He certainly doesn't have any time for some girl who hadn't even had the guts to tell him she loved him when those were the words he was expecting to hear. I knew it, Hitomi thought bitterly. I had the perfect oppurtunity to tell him how I felt when I was supposed to go home, and another chance last night. And I blew it, both times. Because of her lack of courage, Van had probably given up on her. Now he was just a self-centered jerk who didn't even consider the fact that she might care about spending time with him.
The young king glanced up from his plate, and noticed Hitomi staring at him with a stricken look on her face. "Hitomi? What's wrong?"
Hitomi's crestfallen expression turned to one of disgust as she turned her head, rose from her chair, and hurried out of the room. Van's eyes followed her until she was out of sight, his mouth hanging open in surprise.
"What's her problem?" asked Merle. Van didn't answer. Merle sighed, exasperated. "Lord Van, aren't you gonna go after her?"
"What did I say?" Van murmured. He got up to follow Hitomi to her room, where he assumed she was headed.
The raven-haired 16-year old reached Hitomi just as she was turning the doorknob to her room. "Hitomi, wait," he pleaded. "Did I say something to upset you?"
She whirled around, her cold green eyes glaring at him. "No, Van. It's nothing," she said through gritted teeth.
"Well then, why are you-"
"Listen, Van, I don't want to talk right now. I would see you tomorrow, if our plans hadn't been cancelled."
"Cancelled? Wha-" Then it dawned on him. A look of realization crossed his features. "Oh," he said softly. "I agreed to help with their stupid remodelling," he muttered. Hitomi didn't look up. She opened the door rather abruptly, stepped inside quickly and shut the door in Van's face.
Van had a restless night. He barely got a wink of sleep before awakening at the crack of dawn to some merrily chirping birds outside his window. Their delightful singing went hand in hand with the gorgeous day that was just beginning. It did not match Van's mood, however. He couldn't stop thinking about the idiotic blunder he'd made the evening before. How could he make an oversight like that up to Hitomi? Although it was just a small mistake, she obviously took it to heart. He could easily get out of the construction work, that was no problem. But how could he convince Hitomi he did want to spend time with her? He was so in love with her, and he had been thrilled that she asked him to take her to the wildflower field, a place that already held special meaning to him. He'd just got caught up in the conversation about the reconstruction, and didn't even pause to consider declining to help out again.
Yawning, he climbed out of bed, got dressed quickly, and proceeded down to the dining hall for breakfast. The first thing he noticed was Hitomi's absence. He went over to the pink-haired catgirl. "Where's Hitomi?" he questioned.
"Good morning to you, too!" she said huffily. "She hasn't come out of her room yet. What did you do, Lord Van?" she teased.
Van sighed. "Merle, I need your help with something."
Merle's big blue eyes lit up. "Really? Well, here I am Lord Van!"
Meanwhile, Hitomi was lying in bed, staring dejectedly at the ceiling. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. She groaned in a half-hearted response.
"Come on, Hitomi, I know you're in there! I'm coming in anyway if you don't open the door!"
"All right, all right, Merle," the drowsy girl grumbled.
The teenage catgirl opened the door and waltzed straight over to the bed. "Okay, first things first. We don't have all day, and you've already wasted half of it lazing around in bed. Get up, and get dressed in these," she said, tossing Hitomi's track shorts and tee shirt to the very puzzled girl.
"Are we going somewhere?" Hitomi asked the bouncy, energetic feline.
"Mmm-hm. You can't just sit on your butt all day while Van abandons you for those sweaty construction workers."
Hitomi slumped her shoulders, sighing in defeat. "Fine. Just as long as it doesn't involve playing hide and go seek for the millionth time."
Merle stuck out her tongue.
A/N: V/H fluff, coming next chapter! ;) ;)