Happy New Year's
By: Madisonne
Part: 1/1
Warnings: Introspective(?), talk about suicide (none actually committed), yaoi, song-fic
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does NOT belong to me... (Damn, damn, damn...) No infringement on the rights of the owners of said anime intended. Don't sue me, suing isn't nice. As for the fic, don't steal it! Criticism accepted (feed me feed-back at Fire_Elf_Rei@hotmail.com!!!), flames laughed at.
Notes: Lyrics to "You Understand" are owned by Chaos Theory. I just use them. :-D
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It was only by chance that he heard the glass shattering down the hall. He had been listening to his disc-man and had only pushed off his ear-phones for a second to adjust their fit. His training automatically clicked on; he knew the others were out.
Flipping off his bed and out of the door, he crept down the hallway. As he got closer to one particular door, he heard a voice.
"One hundred twelve, one hundred thirteen..."
He threw open the door, training his gun on... "Wufei? What are you doing here?"
"I live here, Maxwell. Or had you forgotten?" He pushed aside the bottle he had shattered, still focusing on his task, emptying a bottle of pills into a half-full wine bottle. "You're back early."
"Never went anywhere." He tucked his gun back into its holster on his hip.
"Maxwell at home on New Year's Eve night? Has the world ended?" He threw in three more pills.
He noted the empty bottles strewn on the floor. "Drink much, do you?" When Wufei didn't answer, he frowned and read the label on the bottle of pills. "Never figured you one for suicide..."
"Well, then again, you don't know me very well, do you?"
You can hear me
I know you can
You just can't believe you're not
The only one hurt
Duo nodded amicably, conceding the point.
Why are you here
Don't pretend that you care
"What do you want?" Wufei asked irritably.
Duo decided not to answer, instead asking a question of his own. "You're really going to go through with it, hmm?"
Wufei gave him a cold look. "Like you're going to stop me?"
"No. I know I'm not going to stop you. I just want to talk to you..."
And I cringe
Here it comes
You'll tell me I'm ungrateful and selfish
Just like all the others did
Duo smiled at him. "I understand."
But it doesn't come
How could you understand
You don't know
You don't know
"No, you don't! No one understands!" Wufei shouted at him. "I saw hundreds of people die! And I didn't do anything to save them!!!"
He answered quietly, calmly. "Yes, I do understand."
And my breath catches
Is there hope
Could you be tainted
Like me
Duo sighed and leaned on the dresser. "The orphanage I lived in as a child was bombed, I came too late to do anything."
Wufei sunk to his knees, then slumped against the edge of his bed, the drug-laced wine bottle still clutched firmly in his hand.
"Have anymore alcohol?"
Wufei handed him a bottle.
"That what broke?" He pointed to the shattered bottle on the floor.
Wufei shrugged. "It's just a bottle."
"You are really drunk, aren't you?"
"Who are you to point fingers?" He dropped in two more pills.
There you go again
Who are you to point fingers
He smiled. "I know, I know... I've been drunk too many times to count." He took a large gulp of the wine straight out of the bottle. "Cups get in the way, don't they?"
Wufei sighed. "You don't like it, go get a glass yourself. No one invited you here."
"That's true." He swirled the wine inside the bottle around, thinking.
"You might want to leave, this could get messy." He gestured with the bottle.
You've never been one
To stick around to see the bad endings
You might want to leave
Things could get messy
Duo sighed and slid down to sit across from Wufei. "Give it 'til midnight. You know, they all say New Year's is a time for new beginnings... Just... Wait until midnight. If you still want to do it then, go ahead. I won't stop you."
"You're in no position to start making demands."
"I know. I'm asking you. I've never asked you for anything before."
He sighed. "Alright, I don't see what's the difference. I kill myself now, kill myself in twenty minutes, it's all the same."
He smiled a half-smile of sorts. "Thanks."
Wufei snorted at the sounds of the revelry outside their current safe-house. "What are they celebrating? The fools..."
Duo frowned. "They're celebrating hope, new beginnings, love, everything!"
"I forgot, they have something to live for..." He said cynically, while dropping in two more pills.
Seems like they're all out there
Laughing and smiling
How could they feel what I feel
And they don't
They don't
Because they don't know
Don't see what I see
They're nothing more than blind innocents
Wufei continued, his tone of voice growing even more cynical. "They don't see what we see, they don't have to live with the fact that everyone around them is a fugitive, a killer!" He covered his head with his hands. "They don't understand. They could never understand."
Duo sighed, then slid over next to him. "No, they don't understand."
"They're just blind."
"But that's why we fight. So they don't have to find out... What we know..."
"But why?!! Why are we even necessary?"
Even though I know
You don't have the answers
I can't help but ask
Why why why
"I don't know..." He tenatively put his arm around his fellow pilot's shoulders. "But we're all in this together." He thought for a minute. "You drink, I drink."
Wufei's head shot up, and he scooted away. "You will not drink this!" He clutched the poisoned wine. "This is... This is what I have to do! I won't let you!"
"One way or another, Wufei, I will follow you, if I have to shoot myself in the head, I will."
"But... Why?"
"Because I understand. So we're in this together. You drink, I drink. You die, I die. It's that simple."
And you tell me you don't know
Like I knew you would
But you won't do this
I won't let you
I have to go down this path alone
"Get out." Wufei's voice was low and dangerous.
"What?" Duo got to his feet.
"You, heard me. Get out. There's nothing you can do here." Wufei glared at him. "Just leave, before it's too late."
"What are you going to do? Shoot me?" He asked, only half-kidding.
Wufei pulled out his gun and trained it on his fellow pilot. "Don't tempt me. I will pull the trigger."
"You don't want to do this, Wufei, I know you don't."
"You're right, I don't want to." He made no move to put the gun away. "But force me to, and I will."
You have pushed this on me
I can't deal with it
The way that I should
So I threaten you
I must keep you away at all costs
"Goddamn it Wufei, just put the gun down." His tone was tired, rather than angry.
"Promise me you won't stop me. You said you understood."
"I won't. I won't stop you."
Wufei slowly dropped the gun to the floor. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." He dropped to his knees on the floor. "I'm sorry..."
God, how could I have done that
Oh god, how could I have done that
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
"It's midnight." He said, while kneeling on the floor to be at the same level as Wufei.
He looked at the bottle in his hands and began to raise it to his lips.
Thinking quickly, Duo knocked the bottle away, letting it shatter on the floor. Before Wufei could do anything rash that they'd later regret, he grabbed the other pilot and kissed him.
When he got back his senses, Wufei lurched back, confused. "Why...?"
Duo looked down, then back up at his fellow pilot. "Happy New Year's."
And you forgave
You must understand
You must understand
"But, why?"
"Because I understand."
You understand
Duo gave Wufei a hand up, then promptly put the other pilot to bed in his clothes, and turned to leave the room.
Wufei reached out a hand and grasped his wrist. "I understand if you don't want to, but... Stay, please?"
Duo smiled, then turned back around. "You sure?"
He nodded.
"Then move over, you selfish idiot!"
He did, and the other slid in beside him.
You understand
When Duo awoke, it took him a while to get oriented. Once he did, he was very happy to find a slumbering Wufei beside him. Noticing the mess the two smashed bottles had made, he sent a mental apology to Quatre, to whom the house belonged.
He began to get out of bed to clean the glass shards up, but one glance at what he was leaving stopped him. He kissed the top of the slumbering pilot's head and whispered, "Happy New Year's."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *