LOTR, not mine, blah blah. Props to Invader Zim for the genius line :D
Changed Aragorn's part to Pippin. Seemed too out of character for a ranger to bring enemies to him, even if he does like killing orcs. Hehe.
p
Chapter 3
A Few Days Later, Just Outside the Fields of Rohan...
The Fellowship was resting in the cliffs, (there are cliffs on the edge of the Fields of Rohan right? If not, there are now :D), enjoying a picnic in the sunshine. Gandalf was enjoying his weed a little too much, and Aragorn was taking unholy delight in polishing his sword, but otherwise it was a wonderful and relaxing day. Suddenly, hearing a strange noise, Legolas looked up from the fish-kebab he was cooking. He stood up, squinting into the distance, his hand shading his eyes from the glare of the sun.
"There is a great company of creatures 2 leagues from here, advancing at a terrific speed." He said seriously, and then took a bite out of his fish. He chewed solemnly, staying in the same position. Aragorn jumped up.
"Orcs? Are they orcs? Tell me damnit!" He cried, brandishing his sword a little too enthusiastically, cutting the tip off Gandalf's hat.
"Heyyyr, furk you! Ahm on HOLIDAY!" Slurred Gandalf, who was also squinting, but he was just trying to see properly. "An' kit dancing around like thadd... Oooh, pretty colourrrrs..."
"They appear to be human. And... Female..." Legolas looked questioningly at Boromir.
"Is it some new breed of orc?" Asked Aragorn, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Hey man, I swear I don't know them. Maybe I was a *bit* of a player back in Gondor, but I'm sure those chicks weren't serious when they said they'd kill me. Right? Right??"
Sam looked up from tending the fire. "I thought you said you had over 700 girlfriends back in Gondor, and most of them were betrothed or married?"
"Minor detail." Said Boromir, shrugging and trying to discreetly escape.
"There are far more than 700 girls there. And they seem to be yelling something. Augh, they shriek like Nazgul! It pains my ears."
Frodo was curious. "What are they yelling? Some sort of war cry?"
Legolas listened intently and paled. He began to sway on his feet, and would have dropped off the cliff if Gimli hadn't gripped his braid and pulled him back.
"Orcs?" Asked Aragorn hopefully.
On the Fields of Rohan...
Refreshed from rest, and hyperactive from many chocolate bars, the fell company advanced, screaming as they went. They were getting close, very close. They ran onwards, not tiring, for their goal was right before their eyes. The radar beeped with growing anticipation.
"LEGOLAS!" They cried in unison, their voices scaring away all wildlife in a 100-meter radius. The Confederation of Mary-Sues (CMS), had come.
Back With the Fellowship...
Legolas was gibbering incoherently, hugging his knees and rocking back and forth in a disturbing manner. He refused to stop even when Pippin and Merry kicked him.
"I have an idea!" Exclaimed Pippin suddenly. "How about, we stand on the cliff and wave to them, and maybe they'll come here!" Legolas wailed and made sounds suspiciously similar to sobbing and "Why are you doing this to me??"
The rest of the Fellowship just stared at Pippin. And blinked. And stared some more. Pippin didn't seem to notice however, and smoothed his hair back smugly.
"Pippin..." Merry said carefully, "WHY are you such a GENIUS!" He exclaimed, grinning madly. The two of them immediately jumped upon a nearby boulder and began flailing their arms. The Fellowship sweatdropped, with the exception of Legolas, who just continued sobbing.
Changed Aragorn's part to Pippin. Seemed too out of character for a ranger to bring enemies to him, even if he does like killing orcs. Hehe.
p
Chapter 3
A Few Days Later, Just Outside the Fields of Rohan...
The Fellowship was resting in the cliffs, (there are cliffs on the edge of the Fields of Rohan right? If not, there are now :D), enjoying a picnic in the sunshine. Gandalf was enjoying his weed a little too much, and Aragorn was taking unholy delight in polishing his sword, but otherwise it was a wonderful and relaxing day. Suddenly, hearing a strange noise, Legolas looked up from the fish-kebab he was cooking. He stood up, squinting into the distance, his hand shading his eyes from the glare of the sun.
"There is a great company of creatures 2 leagues from here, advancing at a terrific speed." He said seriously, and then took a bite out of his fish. He chewed solemnly, staying in the same position. Aragorn jumped up.
"Orcs? Are they orcs? Tell me damnit!" He cried, brandishing his sword a little too enthusiastically, cutting the tip off Gandalf's hat.
"Heyyyr, furk you! Ahm on HOLIDAY!" Slurred Gandalf, who was also squinting, but he was just trying to see properly. "An' kit dancing around like thadd... Oooh, pretty colourrrrs..."
"They appear to be human. And... Female..." Legolas looked questioningly at Boromir.
"Is it some new breed of orc?" Asked Aragorn, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Hey man, I swear I don't know them. Maybe I was a *bit* of a player back in Gondor, but I'm sure those chicks weren't serious when they said they'd kill me. Right? Right??"
Sam looked up from tending the fire. "I thought you said you had over 700 girlfriends back in Gondor, and most of them were betrothed or married?"
"Minor detail." Said Boromir, shrugging and trying to discreetly escape.
"There are far more than 700 girls there. And they seem to be yelling something. Augh, they shriek like Nazgul! It pains my ears."
Frodo was curious. "What are they yelling? Some sort of war cry?"
Legolas listened intently and paled. He began to sway on his feet, and would have dropped off the cliff if Gimli hadn't gripped his braid and pulled him back.
"Orcs?" Asked Aragorn hopefully.
On the Fields of Rohan...
Refreshed from rest, and hyperactive from many chocolate bars, the fell company advanced, screaming as they went. They were getting close, very close. They ran onwards, not tiring, for their goal was right before their eyes. The radar beeped with growing anticipation.
"LEGOLAS!" They cried in unison, their voices scaring away all wildlife in a 100-meter radius. The Confederation of Mary-Sues (CMS), had come.
Back With the Fellowship...
Legolas was gibbering incoherently, hugging his knees and rocking back and forth in a disturbing manner. He refused to stop even when Pippin and Merry kicked him.
"I have an idea!" Exclaimed Pippin suddenly. "How about, we stand on the cliff and wave to them, and maybe they'll come here!" Legolas wailed and made sounds suspiciously similar to sobbing and "Why are you doing this to me??"
The rest of the Fellowship just stared at Pippin. And blinked. And stared some more. Pippin didn't seem to notice however, and smoothed his hair back smugly.
"Pippin..." Merry said carefully, "WHY are you such a GENIUS!" He exclaimed, grinning madly. The two of them immediately jumped upon a nearby boulder and began flailing their arms. The Fellowship sweatdropped, with the exception of Legolas, who just continued sobbing.