What Tsuzuki Said
Okay….I did it again. I TRIED to write a Tsuzuki X Hisoka oneshot and ended up with a Tsuzuki X Hisoka X Hijiri……WHY ME!!!!!!!!!
Oh…I took some liberities with this one. For example, Hijiri's a Shinigami…Just to let you know. How he died will come in later parts…….
Gomen….It was in my head and was BEGGING to be written! Sorry!!!!!!!
(Tsuzuki)
We were fighting again....we always were, but we'd never argued like this
before. ANd in the middle of the office, no less. Everyone was watching
us...and we were both yelling at each other like there was no one else in the
room.
Tatsumi suddenly stepped between us, facing Hisoka. It was almost as though he
were protecting me. "That is enough, Kurosaki-kun. This is not the place for
this arguement!
I stuck my tongue out at him from behind Tatsumi's back, knowing I was being
immature and not caring. The entire argument was stupid....and I had started
it. Hisoka was only defending himself. Only trying to make me understand WHY
he couldn't be intimate with me yet. He wasn't ready for that yet. I knew
that. But I was frustrated and was taking it out on the object of that
frustration.
But, dammit! Why couldn't he understand that I would never hurt him!?
Hisoka was instantly enraged. "Grow up, Tsuzuki!" he said angrily.
And then I said something that I will regret for the rest of my afterlife.....
"Why don't YOU!?"
Everyone in the room was instantly silent. At that moment, I had wanted to
hurt him....I was deliberately cruel. I wanted to wound him for the frustration
he was putting me through. I thought it would be worth it.....
I was wrong.
The look on his face when I said that was enough to break my heart. How could
I have been so heartless? I'd never seen so much emotion on Hisoka's face as I
did in that moment.
There were tears in his eyes and it was obvious he was speechless. He angrily
scrubbed his arm across his eyes, running out of the office. The door slammed
and everyone turned to look at me.
"That was uncalled for." Terazuma stated, angry at me on Hisoka's behalf. "How
could you say that to him?"
"I...." I whispered, sitting at my desk and burying my face in my arms. "I
didn't mean it...."
"On the contrary, Tsuzuki-san, I think you did." Tatsumi said. "You wanted to
hurt him...and you did so in the best way you knew."
"Gods...." I said, looking up at Tatsumi. "The look on his face....."
"You succeeded." Terazuma said, still angry. It was no secret to anyone,
except maybe Hisoka, that Terazuma had a small crush on my partner. "I hope
you're proud of yourself. Bakayarou."
"I will go and find him." Tatsumi stated, turning and walking toward the
doorway. "I suggest you all get back to work. Tsuzuki-san, I would like to see
you in my office after I find Kurosaki-kun. Go there now."
I did as I was told, feeling completely miserable. How could I have said
something so cold to him? Why had I lashed out at him like that? And in the
middle of the office no less? What the hell was wrong with me?
I would make this up to him. I had to. I loved him. I could wait. I was
just being--well--a man about this. I had to start taking his feelings into
account. Stop being so selfish.
That is exactly what I intended to do.
* * * * *
(Tatsumi)
I never thought Tsuzuki-san was capable of being so cruel.
I'd only come into the arguement when one of the other Shinigami told me that
Tsuzuki and Hisoka were outright yelling in the main office area. I'd come to
stop it, believing it to be nothing more than the normal arguements that they
had. Tsuzuki-san insisting on food while Kurosaki-kun would call him an idiot
and tell him to get back to work. Perhaps Tsuzuki had gotten tired of
Kurosaki-kun's endless insults. I would have.
I'd only come into the room when the boy in question was pushing Tsuzuki's hand
off of his shoulder. I didn't hear much of the conversation.
"Leave me alone! Why do you always have to touch me?" Hisoka was saying,
roughly slapping Tsuzuki's hand away from his face.
I knew that Tsuzuki only did that when he wanted to comfort someone, especially
Hisoka. But if they had been fighting before, there was bound to be some
residual anger on Tsuzuki and Hisoka was bound to feel it. Now that I think
back on the situation, I realize that he was only trying to protect himself from
Tsuzuki's anger.
"Why are you always so cold, 'Soka?" Tsuzuki said back, looking crushed. "I
just want...."
"I know what you want!" Hisoka yelled, "And you just can't accept that I'm not
ready yet! Why can't you just give me time?"
I only stepped in to stop what would have been said after that. This was
something private....It should be discussed in such a setting. Not here where
others were bound to hear.
"That is enough, Kurosaki-kun!" I stated firmly, stepping between the two of
them. "This is not the place for this arguement."
Hisoka had looked at me angrily, obviously believing that I was taking
Tsuzuki's side in the arguement. His eyes suddenly flicked to Tsuzuki, who had
probably done something behind my back.
"Grow up, Tsuzuki!"
"Why don't YOU?!
Even I was completely taken aback at that comment. I never thought Tsuzuki
would say something like that to Hisoka. Never an attack on his age. It wasn't
his fault that he had been killed so young. Sixteen....I almost wanted to find
a way to let him become his true age.....but we all knew that it was impossible.
But I never thought.....
I watched the boyish figure run from the room, obviously in intense pain. Such
a cruel thing to say.....
Now, as I walked down the hallway in search of Hisoka, I knew that this could
be something that could not be fixed in Tsuzuki's usual way. Holding Hisoka and
apologizing wasn't going to do it this time. Something had to be done. They
were causing each other pain this way. There had to be another way.
"Hisoka isn't in the JuohCho."
I turned to see Watari standing in the doorway to his lab, arms crossed over
his chest. "He wants to be alone for a while. He went to the one person who
can help him do that."
"Who?" I asked, curious. Someone who could help Hisoka more than Tsuzuki? Who
was this person?
"Minase Hijiri."
* * * * *
(Hijiri)
~So boring.....~ I thought, watching the television in my apartment...alone.
It was a symphony of some kind, not that I cared. I wasn't really watching it
anyway. I just wanted something to be making some noise while I was dozing, and
this seemed to be the most pleasant thing.
It being summer, I didn't have to go to school for three months...not that I
went regularly anyway. I didn't have to. That and the fact I'm a Shinigami
with no job....not that I needed one.
Not like I wanted to anyway. I didn't have any friends. Not since Tsuzuki and
Hisoka left me did I feel like being with other people. There was something
about the two of them.....They were different than everyone else in my life.
They hadn't wanted to be my friend because of my talent or my money...which I
had alot of. Being the sole-heir to the family fortune did that for a person.
They wanted to be my friend because they liked ME....the person I was. I just
wished I could find friends like that now.
I understood that they couldn't come to see me much. THey had their job that
they needed to do and...it was obvious that they were more to each other than
they let on. The way Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka...it was the way I wished someone
would look at ME. WIth nothing but love and compassion in his eyes. Gods, I
wish they could love me as much as they loved each other.
I was completely jolted from my thoughts when someone knocked tentatively on my
door. I stood answering the door.
Hisoka stood in my doorway, conjured there as if just by my thoughts...though
I'd never seen him look so...vunerable. He was obviously cold, arms wrapped
around himself as he looked at me with expressive eyes as green as my own. How
he could be cold in THIS heat was beyond me.
There were dried tear-tracks on his face, telling me that he'd been crying.
Something had to have seriously upset him to make him cry. Something big......
"Hijiri....." he whispered, tears filling his eyes again. "I...I don't know
why I came here....Gomen....I'll go...."
"Oh no, you don't," I stated, grabbing his arm and pulling him into my
apartment. "Get in here. You're going to tell me what has you so upset. And
then...we're going to fix it."
Hisoka looked at me then and I knew...It had something to do with Tsuzuki.
Geez...what had he done to the poor kid? I'd never seen anyone so in love with
another as Tsuzuki was with Hisoka. This had to be HUGE.
I instantly hugged him...what was I supposed to do? He was standing
there...looking so helpless. I felt like he needed to be protected...though I
knew that he could kill me at any given moment....
There's something about Hisoka that most don't seem to understand. Even
Tsuzuki seems clueless about it most of the time. I do understand...
Hisoka is pretty much an innocent when it comes to other people and their
motives. I knew about Hisoka's past. He hadn't been loved before Tsuzuki and
didn't know how to react to someone having such strong feelings toward him.
Being taken advantage of...raped is a better word for this...didn't help
matters. That Muraki guy--if I ever met him, I'd probably try to kill the sick
bastard--had been the first true human contact Hisoka had even had in
years....and most of THAT hadn't been pleasant.
I could understand why Hisoka was so afraid of human contact. He wasn't used
to being touched without it causing pain. He had no clue how to react to
kindness. He had no experience in it.
But, for some reason, he felt comfortable with me. Comfortable enough to come
here when he needed a shoulder to cry on. I...was his best friend.
Gods...I wish I could be more.
"Tell me everything." I whispered, holding him while he cried. "And I'll try
to help you fix it. I promise."
"He...he said...." Hisoka said softly, his voice choked with sobs. "We had a
fight."
"What else is new?" I asked, sitting with him on the couch. "You two can't be
in the same room without having an arguement. What happened to cause this?"
Hisoka told me.
"What a jerk...." I whispered when he was done. Where did Tsuzuki get off
saying something like that? That was just cruel. There was no excuse for
hurting Hisoka like that. None at all.
Even if Hisoka were a normal, human teenager, I would understand that he wasn't
ready for the physical part of a relationship. Sex...it wasn't something to
take lightly. Especially for someone who was sixteen years old.
However, Hisoka had never been intimate with someone without it causing him
pain. There was something Hisoka had to get over before he was ready to go that
far with someone. Why was I the only one who could see that?
Maybe because I, too, am sixteen and having the same issues.
"I just...I want to." Hisoka whispered, clutching at my shirt. "I want to be
with him. Demo....."
"You're not sure if you're ready for that." I finished for him, knowing how he
felt. I myself had never been with anyonbge....I could only imagine what it must
have been like for Hisoka.
The only sexual experience that he'd ever had was with...that bastard, Muraki.
"I...could talk to Tsuzuki." I suggested, knowing that this wasn't going to be
satisfactory for Hisoka. "Or...you could stay here until things cool off. You
know you're welcome anytime."
"Hijiri...."
"I don't mind." I said, smiling. ~Besides, I'll get to spend more time with
you....~
Hisoka returned the smile sadly. "I'll take my vacation. It'll...give me time
to think, ne?"
"Hai!" I said. "And...we can go and do things together. The things normal
friends do."
"Normal?"
"We'll go to the movies, the beach....even to dinner and to clubs. It'll be
great!"
"I..I've never been to the beach..." he whispered. "Alright. I'll call
Tatsumi-san....let him know I won't be in to work."
"I...only have one bed...." I said, knowing what was coming.
"Oh..." Hisoka answered. "I can sleep on the couch then...."
"I can share."
"Hijiri....."
"I can share." I insisted, hugging Hisoka again. "It'll be just like a
sleepover, ne? Just....every night."
Okay….I did it again. I TRIED to write a Tsuzuki X Hisoka oneshot and ended up with a Tsuzuki X Hisoka X Hijiri……WHY ME!!!!!!!!!
Oh…I took some liberities with this one. For example, Hijiri's a Shinigami…Just to let you know. How he died will come in later parts…….
Gomen….It was in my head and was BEGGING to be written! Sorry!!!!!!!
(Tsuzuki)
We were fighting again....we always were, but we'd never argued like this
before. ANd in the middle of the office, no less. Everyone was watching
us...and we were both yelling at each other like there was no one else in the
room.
Tatsumi suddenly stepped between us, facing Hisoka. It was almost as though he
were protecting me. "That is enough, Kurosaki-kun. This is not the place for
this arguement!
I stuck my tongue out at him from behind Tatsumi's back, knowing I was being
immature and not caring. The entire argument was stupid....and I had started
it. Hisoka was only defending himself. Only trying to make me understand WHY
he couldn't be intimate with me yet. He wasn't ready for that yet. I knew
that. But I was frustrated and was taking it out on the object of that
frustration.
But, dammit! Why couldn't he understand that I would never hurt him!?
Hisoka was instantly enraged. "Grow up, Tsuzuki!" he said angrily.
And then I said something that I will regret for the rest of my afterlife.....
"Why don't YOU!?"
Everyone in the room was instantly silent. At that moment, I had wanted to
hurt him....I was deliberately cruel. I wanted to wound him for the frustration
he was putting me through. I thought it would be worth it.....
I was wrong.
The look on his face when I said that was enough to break my heart. How could
I have been so heartless? I'd never seen so much emotion on Hisoka's face as I
did in that moment.
There were tears in his eyes and it was obvious he was speechless. He angrily
scrubbed his arm across his eyes, running out of the office. The door slammed
and everyone turned to look at me.
"That was uncalled for." Terazuma stated, angry at me on Hisoka's behalf. "How
could you say that to him?"
"I...." I whispered, sitting at my desk and burying my face in my arms. "I
didn't mean it...."
"On the contrary, Tsuzuki-san, I think you did." Tatsumi said. "You wanted to
hurt him...and you did so in the best way you knew."
"Gods...." I said, looking up at Tatsumi. "The look on his face....."
"You succeeded." Terazuma said, still angry. It was no secret to anyone,
except maybe Hisoka, that Terazuma had a small crush on my partner. "I hope
you're proud of yourself. Bakayarou."
"I will go and find him." Tatsumi stated, turning and walking toward the
doorway. "I suggest you all get back to work. Tsuzuki-san, I would like to see
you in my office after I find Kurosaki-kun. Go there now."
I did as I was told, feeling completely miserable. How could I have said
something so cold to him? Why had I lashed out at him like that? And in the
middle of the office no less? What the hell was wrong with me?
I would make this up to him. I had to. I loved him. I could wait. I was
just being--well--a man about this. I had to start taking his feelings into
account. Stop being so selfish.
That is exactly what I intended to do.
* * * * *
(Tatsumi)
I never thought Tsuzuki-san was capable of being so cruel.
I'd only come into the arguement when one of the other Shinigami told me that
Tsuzuki and Hisoka were outright yelling in the main office area. I'd come to
stop it, believing it to be nothing more than the normal arguements that they
had. Tsuzuki-san insisting on food while Kurosaki-kun would call him an idiot
and tell him to get back to work. Perhaps Tsuzuki had gotten tired of
Kurosaki-kun's endless insults. I would have.
I'd only come into the room when the boy in question was pushing Tsuzuki's hand
off of his shoulder. I didn't hear much of the conversation.
"Leave me alone! Why do you always have to touch me?" Hisoka was saying,
roughly slapping Tsuzuki's hand away from his face.
I knew that Tsuzuki only did that when he wanted to comfort someone, especially
Hisoka. But if they had been fighting before, there was bound to be some
residual anger on Tsuzuki and Hisoka was bound to feel it. Now that I think
back on the situation, I realize that he was only trying to protect himself from
Tsuzuki's anger.
"Why are you always so cold, 'Soka?" Tsuzuki said back, looking crushed. "I
just want...."
"I know what you want!" Hisoka yelled, "And you just can't accept that I'm not
ready yet! Why can't you just give me time?"
I only stepped in to stop what would have been said after that. This was
something private....It should be discussed in such a setting. Not here where
others were bound to hear.
"That is enough, Kurosaki-kun!" I stated firmly, stepping between the two of
them. "This is not the place for this arguement."
Hisoka had looked at me angrily, obviously believing that I was taking
Tsuzuki's side in the arguement. His eyes suddenly flicked to Tsuzuki, who had
probably done something behind my back.
"Grow up, Tsuzuki!"
"Why don't YOU?!
Even I was completely taken aback at that comment. I never thought Tsuzuki
would say something like that to Hisoka. Never an attack on his age. It wasn't
his fault that he had been killed so young. Sixteen....I almost wanted to find
a way to let him become his true age.....but we all knew that it was impossible.
But I never thought.....
I watched the boyish figure run from the room, obviously in intense pain. Such
a cruel thing to say.....
Now, as I walked down the hallway in search of Hisoka, I knew that this could
be something that could not be fixed in Tsuzuki's usual way. Holding Hisoka and
apologizing wasn't going to do it this time. Something had to be done. They
were causing each other pain this way. There had to be another way.
"Hisoka isn't in the JuohCho."
I turned to see Watari standing in the doorway to his lab, arms crossed over
his chest. "He wants to be alone for a while. He went to the one person who
can help him do that."
"Who?" I asked, curious. Someone who could help Hisoka more than Tsuzuki? Who
was this person?
"Minase Hijiri."
* * * * *
(Hijiri)
~So boring.....~ I thought, watching the television in my apartment...alone.
It was a symphony of some kind, not that I cared. I wasn't really watching it
anyway. I just wanted something to be making some noise while I was dozing, and
this seemed to be the most pleasant thing.
It being summer, I didn't have to go to school for three months...not that I
went regularly anyway. I didn't have to. That and the fact I'm a Shinigami
with no job....not that I needed one.
Not like I wanted to anyway. I didn't have any friends. Not since Tsuzuki and
Hisoka left me did I feel like being with other people. There was something
about the two of them.....They were different than everyone else in my life.
They hadn't wanted to be my friend because of my talent or my money...which I
had alot of. Being the sole-heir to the family fortune did that for a person.
They wanted to be my friend because they liked ME....the person I was. I just
wished I could find friends like that now.
I understood that they couldn't come to see me much. THey had their job that
they needed to do and...it was obvious that they were more to each other than
they let on. The way Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka...it was the way I wished someone
would look at ME. WIth nothing but love and compassion in his eyes. Gods, I
wish they could love me as much as they loved each other.
I was completely jolted from my thoughts when someone knocked tentatively on my
door. I stood answering the door.
Hisoka stood in my doorway, conjured there as if just by my thoughts...though
I'd never seen him look so...vunerable. He was obviously cold, arms wrapped
around himself as he looked at me with expressive eyes as green as my own. How
he could be cold in THIS heat was beyond me.
There were dried tear-tracks on his face, telling me that he'd been crying.
Something had to have seriously upset him to make him cry. Something big......
"Hijiri....." he whispered, tears filling his eyes again. "I...I don't know
why I came here....Gomen....I'll go...."
"Oh no, you don't," I stated, grabbing his arm and pulling him into my
apartment. "Get in here. You're going to tell me what has you so upset. And
then...we're going to fix it."
Hisoka looked at me then and I knew...It had something to do with Tsuzuki.
Geez...what had he done to the poor kid? I'd never seen anyone so in love with
another as Tsuzuki was with Hisoka. This had to be HUGE.
I instantly hugged him...what was I supposed to do? He was standing
there...looking so helpless. I felt like he needed to be protected...though I
knew that he could kill me at any given moment....
There's something about Hisoka that most don't seem to understand. Even
Tsuzuki seems clueless about it most of the time. I do understand...
Hisoka is pretty much an innocent when it comes to other people and their
motives. I knew about Hisoka's past. He hadn't been loved before Tsuzuki and
didn't know how to react to someone having such strong feelings toward him.
Being taken advantage of...raped is a better word for this...didn't help
matters. That Muraki guy--if I ever met him, I'd probably try to kill the sick
bastard--had been the first true human contact Hisoka had even had in
years....and most of THAT hadn't been pleasant.
I could understand why Hisoka was so afraid of human contact. He wasn't used
to being touched without it causing pain. He had no clue how to react to
kindness. He had no experience in it.
But, for some reason, he felt comfortable with me. Comfortable enough to come
here when he needed a shoulder to cry on. I...was his best friend.
Gods...I wish I could be more.
"Tell me everything." I whispered, holding him while he cried. "And I'll try
to help you fix it. I promise."
"He...he said...." Hisoka said softly, his voice choked with sobs. "We had a
fight."
"What else is new?" I asked, sitting with him on the couch. "You two can't be
in the same room without having an arguement. What happened to cause this?"
Hisoka told me.
"What a jerk...." I whispered when he was done. Where did Tsuzuki get off
saying something like that? That was just cruel. There was no excuse for
hurting Hisoka like that. None at all.
Even if Hisoka were a normal, human teenager, I would understand that he wasn't
ready for the physical part of a relationship. Sex...it wasn't something to
take lightly. Especially for someone who was sixteen years old.
However, Hisoka had never been intimate with someone without it causing him
pain. There was something Hisoka had to get over before he was ready to go that
far with someone. Why was I the only one who could see that?
Maybe because I, too, am sixteen and having the same issues.
"I just...I want to." Hisoka whispered, clutching at my shirt. "I want to be
with him. Demo....."
"You're not sure if you're ready for that." I finished for him, knowing how he
felt. I myself had never been with anyonbge....I could only imagine what it must
have been like for Hisoka.
The only sexual experience that he'd ever had was with...that bastard, Muraki.
"I...could talk to Tsuzuki." I suggested, knowing that this wasn't going to be
satisfactory for Hisoka. "Or...you could stay here until things cool off. You
know you're welcome anytime."
"Hijiri...."
"I don't mind." I said, smiling. ~Besides, I'll get to spend more time with
you....~
Hisoka returned the smile sadly. "I'll take my vacation. It'll...give me time
to think, ne?"
"Hai!" I said. "And...we can go and do things together. The things normal
friends do."
"Normal?"
"We'll go to the movies, the beach....even to dinner and to clubs. It'll be
great!"
"I..I've never been to the beach..." he whispered. "Alright. I'll call
Tatsumi-san....let him know I won't be in to work."
"I...only have one bed...." I said, knowing what was coming.
"Oh..." Hisoka answered. "I can sleep on the couch then...."
"I can share."
"Hijiri....."
"I can share." I insisted, hugging Hisoka again. "It'll be just like a
sleepover, ne? Just....every night."