Chapter
1: Lately
I'm Liz Parker and two
months ago I stopped the end of the world...but how could I have known it would
also mean the end of my world?
Liz tossed and turned in her restless,
nightmare-filled slumber, whimpering as she tried to escape the pain that was
slowly taking over her being, but to no avail. She was stuck; caught in the
middle of the web of lies that she had created and was now answering for. So she
was now trapped, forced to watch the day her life had come to an end. It was not
until she saw the face that haunted her every time she closed her eyes, was she
released from her dream a soft cry of anguish escaping her lips. Liz shot up
straight in bed and looked at her clock; it was only five in the morning, and
Liz knew that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep once more.
Sighing, Liz got up and wearily dragged herself
into her bathroom and began to get ready for the day. Liz averted her gaze from
the mirror, still unable to face the guilt of what she had done. After she
finished, Liz dressed herself, quickly throwing on the first things she came
across. Crossing her room, Liz started to organize what she needed for the day.
Glancing back at her clock, she saw that it was now close to six o'clock.
Grabbing a pen and paper, she wrote a hasty note to her parents before she
exited through her window and climbed down her balcony. She walked around
aimlessly and soon found herself in the park
It's been two months and still cannot bring
myself to write in my journal again. The pain is still too raw, and the wound
still so new. Instead I have opted to recording my thoughts on tape.
Liz looked up to the wide blue skies from
beneath the shade of the tree she was currently resting under. She closed her
eyes as a autumn breeze swept across her face, caressing her skin soothingly as
the sun's rays blazed down on this particularly warm day. However, neither the
heat nor the wind registered in her mind as she opened her eyes to see a bird
fly above her. The remnants of her dying heart were filled with a terrible
longing that almost enough to bring her to tears. Almost. Since that night, she
hadn't allowed herself to cry a single tear. Because if she did… she was
afraid that she would never be able to stop. Trying to remain strong for the not
only the others, but herself for the first week after her 'betrayal'. However
she knew that she wasn't fooling anybody and soon the act dropped along with
whatever was left of her sanity.
I'm so tired…so very tired… with
every passing day I seem to be losing more and more of whatever strength I have
left, and the world seems to be darkening, and the light fading.
Now she was nothing more than a shell, a body
that continued to live even while dead. She moved through life now like a
machine, every day the repeat of the last. She lived each day as if it was her
last, and it might as very well be just that. She allowed herself to fade away
as the agony came increasingly harder to bear. Fading away to the welcoming
embrace of the comforting shadows; only able to watch as life continued around
her. Only able to watch as people found happiness in their lives. People who
lived without a care in the world, and she envied them. She envied their
seemingly endless happiness, their never-ending hope, but most of all she envied
the fact that they were allowed to love…to love without consequences.
And no one noticed. The silent figure, sitting
alone in the shadows, watching with a trained eye. Watching them, feeling
nothing but bittersweet emotions as thoughts of what might have been. What
should have been, but never will be. She had a choice, her world or theirs…and
she had chosen theirs. She had given them a second chance without ever trying to
fight back, and so she watched. And she longed for their carefree lives as the
weight of many worlds bore down on her more and more with each passing day.
When did her life become so complicated she
wondered as she stared down at her hands, the breeze caressing her face, as if
to comfort her with its soft touch. When did her life become not worth living?
Was it because her love, her only soulmate had moved on with another girl,
throwing the relationship into her face whenever he could, just to spite her?
Perhaps it was when Future Max had come back to her only to reveal to her what
she knew all along...their love...they were not to be. No, it was even before
that...the day she left him to his destiny and walked away from him...the day
her heart had been shattered as she watched him kissing a girl he had been
having fantasies of. When he had taken a step back to regain his 'balance'. And
long before that when he had professed his love in a drunken haze, only to
forget everything he had said the next day. No. It had all started that day he
had saved her life, giving her another chance to live and letting her into his
world and into his heart. And she had awoke that day, as if her life before him
was nothing but a dream, and he had awakened a side of her that no one else
could. The other part of her heart...the other half of her soul. And she loved
unconditionally.
Even when he had taken a step back, she had her
arms open to him when he came running back. Even while he fantasized about the
new girl at school, she still loved him, had faith in him. When she found him kissing that same new girl in the rain.
And it had hurt...she had hurt. Then when she finally found that dream with him
again, it was torn away from her once more by the same girl...the very same
one...and so she walked away. She walked away from the only happiness she ever
had, leaving her heart and soul with her only love. He had made it hard for her,
that he did. She was wavering, and he had practically won her over with those
words. I'm coming for you.
But Fate, in its cruel way had taken away that
dream too. Happiness her heart could not contain when she found that he had
chosen her- her and not destiny. Mind-numbing pain to have that future taken
away from the one she called her soulmate caused once again by that very same
girl who since her arrival, sent Liz's heart and life into a spiraling abyss of
heartache, pain, and confusion. And his words, those words.... I need you to help me fall out of love with you.
And
it worked. The thought was bitter even in her own mind as Liz sat
reflecting. And he had. He proved that much already in the past two months. She
had left him, and he had left her...but did he embrace his destiny as she had
wanted him to do? No. Another bitter thought as the pain flashed across
her face. She glanced once more at the now sunny skies, and she wondered briefly
as she watched a bird fly by...she wondered if she would be that free again?
Could she break free from the chains that Destiny had shackled her with? Would
she ever be able to fly freely like the birds in the sky? To be free to explore
the world, to be at peace and feel the gentleness of the cool morning air? I've
done my part. He's not in love with me anymore...now what I want to know is...what
do I have to do to make myself fall out of love with him?
Have
you ever felt so overwhelmed with everything? Like you're drowning and you can't
come up for air? That's just about how I feel right now. I'm drowning and
there's no one there to save me...no one there to care. I'm drowning and I can't
seem to catch my breath...and maybe, just maybe I don't want to anymore.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Lately (I've been watching
you) been thinkin 'bout you baby
(And everything you do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by
Have you ever felt a breeze hit hard,
Like the wind was blowing it apart
As you're spinning like a merry-go-round,
Indications of a storm touching down
Wish that I can wear the rain and storm,
But I guess it was heart break from the norm
Was a day I will always remember,
The saddest day in sweet November...
Lately (I've been watching you) been thinkin 'bout you baby
(And everything you do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by
-Lately Divine
Want more? I heard that
feedback fuels inspiration...*hint hint*
