Stars
-by Luciole Loong
It's silent,
dark.
A quiet night, past midnight, the streets are asleep, but still the occasional pedestrian hurried by. Wufei walked down the middle of the street nonchalantly, alone.
He liked the peaceful atmosphere. No one else to bother him. He can't be at ease with anyone else. Not even Sally. It's always been that way. Even during the occasional chats, when he talked to them, to show willing, he wished that they would go away. He liked being alone, when he can be alone with his thoughts, and not engaging in mindless conversations.
A giggle made him notice two girls who were walking behind him. In skin tight leather with barely enough cloth to cover themselves. Doubtless they were the ladies of the night. He ignored their calls.
He had never been interested in any other girls since her. For Sally its merely respect. The rest, they would have to wait a hundred years to even hope to compete with her.
No other like her.
Maybe he's too stubborn. But he can never see himself with anyone else. There is no reason to, anyway. The mere thought of him being with girls like the ones following behind him made him feel sick. They are worthless, so cheap, just dust in his eyes. He tried not to turn back and say what's in his mind.
The girls left, seeing that he had no interest. Wufei felt a little relieved. The sky rumbled. It is going to rain.
He looked up, to a dark starless sky. He used to think that the stars were so beautiful. Before, when everything was alright, he used to be a romantic and think that the stars were the eyes of lovers who were reunited in the heavens, looking down and blessing the lovers that are still alive now.
'Bull,' he thought to himself. They're just light in the sky, light from stars that have died away millions of years ago. Their light is just reaching us now. Anyway they're bloody useless. Not bright enough to light up the sky, but dim enough to remind us of their presence.
Like the love of someone who had just died.
He tried not to think about it anymore.
A drop of rain fell on his hand. The drizzle started slowly, Wufei pulled his coat over his head, but his pace stayed the same. As the rain became heavier, the drops of water seeped through his coat, and stung his eyes and his hair felt uncomfortable. He wished that he had not gone out at all that night.
A car zoomed past him, and the driver shouted something to him but Wufei could not catch it. But it doesn't matter, the rain seemed soothing and calming to him. It'd been years since he had been under the rain. The last time he was, wasn't he duelling with Meiran? She challenged him to a fight, but he won.
He smiled a little. Foolish woman. She cried after that, and he recalled thinking to himself whether he should cover her with his coat, but it struck him that his coat is wet as well.
Under the rain, he pulled his coat closer to him, like pulling the arms of his beloved closer to him.
He looked up at the sky again, blinking away the drops that fell on his face and eyes. It's so dark. Yet, he could almost hear her voice, calling out to him. Is she somewhere, looking out for him? Through a star, perhaps?
He looked away, and shook his head, and started walking again. He's crazy, he thought. When people die they just die. No more. All the spirit going to heaven and hell thing, he doesn't believe. Reincarnation, maybe, but isn't that almost the same as dying? She's probably reincarnated now... as another human being perhaps... or perhaps as a strong man, oh, that would be a laugh...
He smiled again, but in a deeper part of his mind he thought, there are no stars tonight.
He'll have to bathe again when he reaches home, he thought. Maybe he'll train a little before that, and wash away the rain and his sweat altogether. But its not good to bathe or wash your hair late at night. In the years ahead, the water would seep to your bones and make it weak, still, who knows what the rain contained, and he couldn't bare sleep unwashed.
The stars are the eyes of reunited lovers... perhaps the rain are the tears of lovers who were alone?
He stopped.
A little part of him, inside his heart, died. He never knew it was alive, but now that it is dead, he knew. He looked up to the sky again, and realised that the rain had stopped.
The next thing he knew his tears began to flow, and mixed with the tears of the stars...
This part of him that he thought he had buried... had been struggling to be heard all the time, and he was ignoring it, and now it died, and he will never know what it wants to say.
And finally, after all these years, he broke down and cried for the first time, not tears of defeat, but tears of surrender, and for the first time he cried for Meiran.
Up above the skies, the clouds parted, and the stars shone again.
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by Luciole Loong
luciole@pizza.co.jp
Comments and critiques welcome.