"Inquisitors log, Imperial date 2335322.M41.
Dear diary, er I mean journal. Shortly after my promotion to the rank of full Inquisitor, I am collecting a small a small group of operatives I know to aid in a covert operation. Light of the Emperor, I love saying things like that, it makes me feel like a proper Inquisitor.
I'm trying to collect a decent warband, just like what Eisenhorn and Tyrus have got. I'm on my way to pick up Harry from Karsanth 7, and I might get the chance to drag him out by his ears. So far I've got Barbaretta, who is still on loan to me from Tyrus, and Andrew 249, my faithful archoflagelant. I had him commisioned from malleus HQ (teehee) and he's currently in one of the storage lockers on my shuttle.
Oooh, speaking of transport, I've commandered my first ship! It's only a little sword frigate, the Emperor's Mild Annoyance, but it's a start. At first i tried to stay on the bridge, but the captain was giving me such unfriendly stares, and the screaming of the astropath over the commlink was sooo annoying. So I'm still in the shuttle, but I can travel in the warp now.
Anyway, got to go.
End recording."
Inquisitor Gorsch stepped away from the desk, and exited his quarters, pausing momentatily to adjust the lights to a more fitting level, and adjust the cushions on his leather sofa.
Making his way down a corridor to the shuttle's mess, he ruminated on the priveledges- duties, rather, that being an Inquisitor entitled- demanded of him.
Collecting his customary =I= shaped jam and toast (no crusts), he sat down and attempted not to crush the fork in his bionic left arm.
Suddenly the lights dimmed, but returned, and a loud shreik erupted from the crew quarters. Feeling the need to be manly, Gorsh leapt up, and jumped over the table-
At least he intended to, but his bionic right leg, slightly less responsive than the other, caught on the lip of the table edge, and Gorsch went head over heels across the table and landed feet first in front of the door leading to the crew quarters. Not quite what he had expected, but it was good enough. He ran, limping slightly.
It's probably the damn power link from the Sword, he thought as he pounded down the corridor, It's been playing up all week.
AS Gorsch neared the end of the corridor he saw Barbaretta step out of her quarters wearing nothing more than a standard issue, rough-as- sandpaper, grey bath towel. across it was enblazoned the two headed eagle, and the motto; Vanity is a step on the road to corruption. However it wasn't the towel that caught Gorsch's eye.
"It was my shower, it went cold." she panted. Gorsch made a strangled noise, crossed to a communications panel and contacted captain Lucenzo.
"Captain", he said in a more normal tone, "have power redirected to my shuttle from...the ship's morgue."
"...WHA-" The captain seemed to reconsider what he was going to say, and replied in a strained voice; "Yes, my lord." Gorsch turned to Barbaretta, but she had gone back into the shower cubicle.
"Mmm, thankyou, my lord, that's so much better." Gorsch fled.
Back in the mess, Barbaretta contmemlpated the transfer form on her data pad. glowing orange were the words 'Reason for leaving employer:'.
Hmm, she thought, "He's a flaming nutter" probably won't go down too well. Oh sod it. The data pad flew across the room and smashed against the far wall. The application wouldnt be dealt with for fifty years anyway.
Meanwhile, after a cold shower of his own, Gorsch returned to the mess to finish his toast. Sitting at a table facing his Enforcer employee, he found himself looking at Barbaretta in a way he hadn't done since before he was apprentaced.
She lent over her bowl of Imperi-o's, and Gorsch squeaked, and bit his fist, leaving teeth marks in the metal. As she walked away from Gorsch, to get a fresh serving, she dropped her spoon. She bent down to pick it up, and heard a metal crash, and sparks.
Barbaretta turned round to see Gorsch, sitting at his table spitting out bits of metal, his left hand twitching uncontrollably.
"Uh, uh, excuse me," he stammered, "I just have to go to engineering, to, uh, to um, do Inquisitor stuff." He left the room hurriedly.
Crap, thought Barbaretta as she stared longingly at the shards of datapad on the floor, The guys even more nuts than Tyrus. Her cyber mastiff barked, a metal ball in its jaws. She told it in no uncertain terms, to go away.
That's weird, thought the dog, who was far more intelligent than barbaretta suspected, I'm sure that's not mechanically or biologically possible.
The landing thrusters burned bright blue in the dusk as the Inquisitorial shuttle maneuvered onto a large landing platform on the outskirts of the large city.
"Okay, Barbaretta," Gorsch announced as he opened the main doors of the shuttle "This is a rough city, so we've got to stick together. When we eventually find Harry we'll probably have to drag him back here, as he'll be reluctant to leave his cushy position h-"
Gorsch got no further as a man leapt into the shuttle though the open door. He hit Gorsch, and they rolled until stopping six feet away, where they stared at each other.
"Gorsch?"
"Harry?" There was a moment of confusion as they stood up, and Gorsch spoke; "It's Inquisitor Gorsch, now, Harkor."
"Really? Does that mean you want me to accompany you?"
"Well, yes I'm afraid so." Gorsch replied, warming to his subject. "It doesn't matter how reluctant you are, you're coming and-"
"Okay." Harry interupted.
"What?" Gorsch was amazed.
"I said Okay. Can we leave now?"
Barbaretta looked at Harry suspiciously. He stood there looking slightly sheepish, picking at the handle of one of his pistols. Suddemly there was a thudding on the floor, like some vast creature approaching.
"What the hell is that?" Barbaretta and Gorsch chorused.
From between two buildings on the far side of the airfield came a huge mob of people. There were civilians, Arbites officers, IG and even a space marine in hulking black armour, all shouting fighting and shooting and clubbing each other, but all definately running towards the shuttle.
Barbaretta slammed the door control panel just as the first shots started bouncing off the door frame. She grabbed Harry by the scruff of the neck, and dragged himto the bridge, following Gorsch.
The shuttle boosted straight into the air, leaving the crowd to shout and shake their fists. And turn on each other.
"Right" Said Barbaretta, holing her shockmaul under Harry's chin, "what the hell's going on?"
"Hehe, I like them feisty", he leered. "Ow!" He rubbed at his eye, which was turning black. "Ok, ok. It was like this you see, I owed the Yurts family a lot of money, beacause I have this little gambling problem, well more of a big problem actually, you see-"
"Get on with it." growled Barbaretta.
"Okay, well, as I owed them so much, I agree to do a couple of hits on their rivals the Anadiles, for them." Barbaretta explained to Gorsch that a hit is an assasination or killing. "Anyway, everything was going fine, I killed the first guy, some old man, but the second one, he was younger, and when I iced him there was some broad in bed with him, and I had to remove the witness."
"You scum." spat barbaretta. Harry shrugged.
"Anyway, I was discovered as I was just leaving the Anadile house, and they legged it after me. I managed to make it to a safe house of the Yurts, and I told them what happened. Unfortunatley it turns out the 'witness' was one of the women of the Yurt household, and I barely got out of there alive." Barbaretta was smirking. "So I'm running for my life from the Yurts, about fifty of 'em, when I run round this corner, and whats there, but the whole of the bloody Anadiles, still on my tail." Barbaretta was in stitches now, and Harry gave her a reproachful look.
"Serves you right."
"That's not all. I hotfooted it down this alley, and straight into a bunch of IG controlling this mob of people outside the governer's palace. The Families start firing on one another, at me hitting Guards and civilians, and then the Guard open fire, on everyone- and well you can imagine. I managed to get out mkostly unscathed, even though I'm sure I saw a space marine in Xenos black armour. I was just about to slip out unobtrousive like, when I see the heads of the Families, rolling around with their hands at each other's throats. They stop, look up at me and both shout; "YOU!". I swear then, everyone in the square stops what they're doing, and looks up at me. I very nearly needeed a new pair of trousers, I can tell you. I decided to make for outskirts of town quick as slightly- altered-humanly possible and steal a shuttle. I guess it was stupid not to noticew the big blue neon =I= on the ship, but I was in rather a hurry."
Barbaretta was rolling around on the floor crying with laughter, and Gorsch was flying the shuttle rather eratically, and going red in what was left of his face.
"What are we doing, anyway?" Harry asked sullenly.
"Oh," replied Gorsch, when he had his breath back, "It's something to do with the C'tan."
"Oh, good, they don't sound too horrible." He replied, perking up.
Gorsch burst out laughing again.
And so, our intrepid warband sets out, to boldly go and get crushed by malevolant alien forces they do not understand, as is the way with colonists and xeno-geneticists everywhere.
Dear diary, er I mean journal. Shortly after my promotion to the rank of full Inquisitor, I am collecting a small a small group of operatives I know to aid in a covert operation. Light of the Emperor, I love saying things like that, it makes me feel like a proper Inquisitor.
I'm trying to collect a decent warband, just like what Eisenhorn and Tyrus have got. I'm on my way to pick up Harry from Karsanth 7, and I might get the chance to drag him out by his ears. So far I've got Barbaretta, who is still on loan to me from Tyrus, and Andrew 249, my faithful archoflagelant. I had him commisioned from malleus HQ (teehee) and he's currently in one of the storage lockers on my shuttle.
Oooh, speaking of transport, I've commandered my first ship! It's only a little sword frigate, the Emperor's Mild Annoyance, but it's a start. At first i tried to stay on the bridge, but the captain was giving me such unfriendly stares, and the screaming of the astropath over the commlink was sooo annoying. So I'm still in the shuttle, but I can travel in the warp now.
Anyway, got to go.
End recording."
Inquisitor Gorsch stepped away from the desk, and exited his quarters, pausing momentatily to adjust the lights to a more fitting level, and adjust the cushions on his leather sofa.
Making his way down a corridor to the shuttle's mess, he ruminated on the priveledges- duties, rather, that being an Inquisitor entitled- demanded of him.
Collecting his customary =I= shaped jam and toast (no crusts), he sat down and attempted not to crush the fork in his bionic left arm.
Suddenly the lights dimmed, but returned, and a loud shreik erupted from the crew quarters. Feeling the need to be manly, Gorsh leapt up, and jumped over the table-
At least he intended to, but his bionic right leg, slightly less responsive than the other, caught on the lip of the table edge, and Gorsch went head over heels across the table and landed feet first in front of the door leading to the crew quarters. Not quite what he had expected, but it was good enough. He ran, limping slightly.
It's probably the damn power link from the Sword, he thought as he pounded down the corridor, It's been playing up all week.
AS Gorsch neared the end of the corridor he saw Barbaretta step out of her quarters wearing nothing more than a standard issue, rough-as- sandpaper, grey bath towel. across it was enblazoned the two headed eagle, and the motto; Vanity is a step on the road to corruption. However it wasn't the towel that caught Gorsch's eye.
"It was my shower, it went cold." she panted. Gorsch made a strangled noise, crossed to a communications panel and contacted captain Lucenzo.
"Captain", he said in a more normal tone, "have power redirected to my shuttle from...the ship's morgue."
"...WHA-" The captain seemed to reconsider what he was going to say, and replied in a strained voice; "Yes, my lord." Gorsch turned to Barbaretta, but she had gone back into the shower cubicle.
"Mmm, thankyou, my lord, that's so much better." Gorsch fled.
Back in the mess, Barbaretta contmemlpated the transfer form on her data pad. glowing orange were the words 'Reason for leaving employer:'.
Hmm, she thought, "He's a flaming nutter" probably won't go down too well. Oh sod it. The data pad flew across the room and smashed against the far wall. The application wouldnt be dealt with for fifty years anyway.
Meanwhile, after a cold shower of his own, Gorsch returned to the mess to finish his toast. Sitting at a table facing his Enforcer employee, he found himself looking at Barbaretta in a way he hadn't done since before he was apprentaced.
She lent over her bowl of Imperi-o's, and Gorsch squeaked, and bit his fist, leaving teeth marks in the metal. As she walked away from Gorsch, to get a fresh serving, she dropped her spoon. She bent down to pick it up, and heard a metal crash, and sparks.
Barbaretta turned round to see Gorsch, sitting at his table spitting out bits of metal, his left hand twitching uncontrollably.
"Uh, uh, excuse me," he stammered, "I just have to go to engineering, to, uh, to um, do Inquisitor stuff." He left the room hurriedly.
Crap, thought Barbaretta as she stared longingly at the shards of datapad on the floor, The guys even more nuts than Tyrus. Her cyber mastiff barked, a metal ball in its jaws. She told it in no uncertain terms, to go away.
That's weird, thought the dog, who was far more intelligent than barbaretta suspected, I'm sure that's not mechanically or biologically possible.
The landing thrusters burned bright blue in the dusk as the Inquisitorial shuttle maneuvered onto a large landing platform on the outskirts of the large city.
"Okay, Barbaretta," Gorsch announced as he opened the main doors of the shuttle "This is a rough city, so we've got to stick together. When we eventually find Harry we'll probably have to drag him back here, as he'll be reluctant to leave his cushy position h-"
Gorsch got no further as a man leapt into the shuttle though the open door. He hit Gorsch, and they rolled until stopping six feet away, where they stared at each other.
"Gorsch?"
"Harry?" There was a moment of confusion as they stood up, and Gorsch spoke; "It's Inquisitor Gorsch, now, Harkor."
"Really? Does that mean you want me to accompany you?"
"Well, yes I'm afraid so." Gorsch replied, warming to his subject. "It doesn't matter how reluctant you are, you're coming and-"
"Okay." Harry interupted.
"What?" Gorsch was amazed.
"I said Okay. Can we leave now?"
Barbaretta looked at Harry suspiciously. He stood there looking slightly sheepish, picking at the handle of one of his pistols. Suddemly there was a thudding on the floor, like some vast creature approaching.
"What the hell is that?" Barbaretta and Gorsch chorused.
From between two buildings on the far side of the airfield came a huge mob of people. There were civilians, Arbites officers, IG and even a space marine in hulking black armour, all shouting fighting and shooting and clubbing each other, but all definately running towards the shuttle.
Barbaretta slammed the door control panel just as the first shots started bouncing off the door frame. She grabbed Harry by the scruff of the neck, and dragged himto the bridge, following Gorsch.
The shuttle boosted straight into the air, leaving the crowd to shout and shake their fists. And turn on each other.
"Right" Said Barbaretta, holing her shockmaul under Harry's chin, "what the hell's going on?"
"Hehe, I like them feisty", he leered. "Ow!" He rubbed at his eye, which was turning black. "Ok, ok. It was like this you see, I owed the Yurts family a lot of money, beacause I have this little gambling problem, well more of a big problem actually, you see-"
"Get on with it." growled Barbaretta.
"Okay, well, as I owed them so much, I agree to do a couple of hits on their rivals the Anadiles, for them." Barbaretta explained to Gorsch that a hit is an assasination or killing. "Anyway, everything was going fine, I killed the first guy, some old man, but the second one, he was younger, and when I iced him there was some broad in bed with him, and I had to remove the witness."
"You scum." spat barbaretta. Harry shrugged.
"Anyway, I was discovered as I was just leaving the Anadile house, and they legged it after me. I managed to make it to a safe house of the Yurts, and I told them what happened. Unfortunatley it turns out the 'witness' was one of the women of the Yurt household, and I barely got out of there alive." Barbaretta was smirking. "So I'm running for my life from the Yurts, about fifty of 'em, when I run round this corner, and whats there, but the whole of the bloody Anadiles, still on my tail." Barbaretta was in stitches now, and Harry gave her a reproachful look.
"Serves you right."
"That's not all. I hotfooted it down this alley, and straight into a bunch of IG controlling this mob of people outside the governer's palace. The Families start firing on one another, at me hitting Guards and civilians, and then the Guard open fire, on everyone- and well you can imagine. I managed to get out mkostly unscathed, even though I'm sure I saw a space marine in Xenos black armour. I was just about to slip out unobtrousive like, when I see the heads of the Families, rolling around with their hands at each other's throats. They stop, look up at me and both shout; "YOU!". I swear then, everyone in the square stops what they're doing, and looks up at me. I very nearly needeed a new pair of trousers, I can tell you. I decided to make for outskirts of town quick as slightly- altered-humanly possible and steal a shuttle. I guess it was stupid not to noticew the big blue neon =I= on the ship, but I was in rather a hurry."
Barbaretta was rolling around on the floor crying with laughter, and Gorsch was flying the shuttle rather eratically, and going red in what was left of his face.
"What are we doing, anyway?" Harry asked sullenly.
"Oh," replied Gorsch, when he had his breath back, "It's something to do with the C'tan."
"Oh, good, they don't sound too horrible." He replied, perking up.
Gorsch burst out laughing again.
And so, our intrepid warband sets out, to boldly go and get crushed by malevolant alien forces they do not understand, as is the way with colonists and xeno-geneticists everywhere.