Dislaimer: A poor confused soul recently tried to convince me that the ER charcters are
both fictional AND owned by some dude called Michael Crichton!? Well I'm WAY too smart
to buy THAT! hehe.
Spoilers-Up to Supplies and demands season 8. (takes place just after Abby and Carter have their
little 'talk' on the riverside.
AN: Could be a carby, could be carsan-could be neither. Read and find out...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"...You don't have to settle for anything Carter." muttered Abby as she turned to leave.
As Abby began to walk away John suddenly felt a pang of remorse.
"Abby-wait..."
"No John-you think there's too much history!? Fine no one's asking you to
'settle' -I sure as hell am not. "
John grabbed her arm and faced her.
"Well, wait a minute, how do you think I feel? All you do is talk about Luka-Luka
this, Luka that...it's like I'm the one YOU decided to just 'settle for' 'cause I certainly
don't feel like I come first. How do you think that makes ME feel?"
"I don't know -you never talk to me anymore so how the hell am I supposed to know
how you feel?" she retorted back looking him straight in the eyes.
"Maybe I'd be able to to talk to you if you weren't always looking over my shoulder
at Luka!" he threw back beginning to raise his voice a little.
"Oh and you think you haven't done the same thing with Susan Lewis!?"
"What does she have to do with anything?"
Abby put her hand on her hip before retorting:
"You have the cheek to condemn me for paying more attention to Luka than you,
when you do the exact same thing to me. Whenever Susan is around you haven't
got any time for me. It's always how great she is, and how wonderful it is that she's back,
and how she dragged you off to Yoga class or gave you a back rub. You're not the only
one who feel like a damn consolation prize around here, Carter."
"Now wait a minute, they are two totaly different situations. Susan and I are old friends.
You and Luka were in a serious relationship-where as the relationship between Susan
and I has always been totally platonic."
"Has it Carter?" accused Abby.
"What?" Carter blinked.
"Are trying to tell me you've never felt anything for Dr. Lewis beyond friendship?" her tone becoming harder.
"What? Of course. Well..."
"Well what? If you respect me at all you'll be honest-I deserve at least that." fumed Abby.
Carter turned away from her for a moment before replying.
"Once, a long-LONG time ago I had a crush on her..."
"And did she reciprocate those feelings for you?"
"Huh? No-she was a doctor I was just a med student. "
"So nothing ever happened!?"
"No....well...once we nearly kissed. I was going to kiss her. But SHE called it off and we were
just firm friends ever since. That's ALL. I was young-it didn't mean anything..."
"Whatever Carter-the point is you DID have feelings for her-and frankly it seems to me like you still do.
Not so long ago on this very spot you tell me you have feelings for me, you hand me an ultimatem-WHICH I fulfill
and just when things seem to be going well SHE shows up and everything changes...seems
like I'm not the only one with 'too much history' Carter."
With that she continued to walkaway leaving Carter alone by the bench-just as he had done not so long ago.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As she walked back to the ER Abby was fuming with anger. But beneath it she was also hurting inside.
She had thought things were going well with her and John. She was sure they'd end up going out.
*Then that stupid Susan had to show up and ruin everything. Damn her. Who the hell is she
to command such attention form Carter. Where had she been during his recovery form the stabbing?
During his recovery form addiction? Hell-*I* was the one supporting him. He practically owes me his
life-why the hell can't I have his love? I deserve at least more attention and respect in any case.
He acts as though our friendship means nothing anymore. Like it was convenient so long as he needed
me-but now that he's off probation and everything-he doesn't have the time of day for me. I dunno...
Ok Maybe-I'm exagerating-but damn it, why does this always happen to me. Nothing can go right-
SOMETHING has to screw things up just when they are going so well.
And HER of all people. That domineering self absorbed doctor. Always ordering me around like I'm
some candy striper assisstant.*
Abby took a deep breath-feeling saturated in her own pain and self pity.
*Forget it-I will NOT let it get to me. If he wants to be that way-then fine-HIS loss. He's being arrogant
and self centred and selfish and..*
She sighed.
*So why do I love him so much?*
**********************************************
Love sometimes can be like destiny,
There's no way to say forever,
You may not realise your dreams,
I have broken all the rules of love'
I never dreamed that I could come this far'
And now im lost in my emotion'
You're becoming my devotion'
There's nothing I can do to stop this love for you.
I was not supposed to fall in love with you,
I had someone else,
Someone else is loving you.
... I was not supposed to let this love get through.
*********************************************************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carter sat by the river a few minutes more-lost in thought.
Abby was just over reacting. I mean-he didn't have feelings for Susan, they were just old friends. Like
he and Abby had been....ok bad example. But no Abby was just being paranoid.
Sheesh-why did everything always have to be so complicated? Why couldn't Abby and he just got together in the first place?
Then there'd be no Luka to worry about, no Susan to worry about. Not that there was anything to worry about where
Susan was concerned-no, Abby was dead wrong about that. Wasn't she?
*OK-so I liked her a long time ago. Big deal. That was nothing. I was young kid. She was my teacher.
It didn't mean a thing. Just a minor infatuation. Nothing ever came of it-and besides I don't even feel that way
anymore. Do I?
Of course I don't-she's just paranoid-and has no reason to be either.
Hell if anybody should feel paranoid it should be me. Like she said they were together a whole year-there has
to be history. But it just feel like there's too much. I mean she clearly still cares abou him-and frankly
I think he does too. For her.
Maybe I'm over reacting. Yeah she does seem to obsess over him lately-more so than when they were a couple!
Maybe....maybe it's only natural and she just needs time. It's possible it's just a transitional phase. *
Carter frowned as he thought it over.
*Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon. We should probably both step back a little.
She has come out of a serious relationship-she probably should take some time to herself.
Yeah-that sounds like a good idea-give her time, after all like Susan said-I don't wanna end
up being the rebound guy.
Gosh I love Susan that way, she always seem to know just what to...Oh God I didn't mean love her-
LOVE her. I just meant...I'm not sure what I meant.*
**************************************************
Love sometimes is like flowing wind,
It can take us to wherever,
Sending us on wings.
I have broken all the rules of love'
I never dreamed that I could come this far'
And now im lost in my emotion'
You're becoming my devotion'
There's nothing I can do to stop this love for you.
I was not supposed to fall in love with you,
I had someone else,
Someone else is loving you.
... I was not supposed to let this love get through.
*****************************************************
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: Well would you like to see more? Let me know what you think. Will it be a carby? Will it be a carsan?
Will it be something else? Wait and see. If you wanna see how it carries on then just fill in that little 'ol review box!!
Baby jen xx
PS. Lyrics were taken from Heaven is how I feel -Gloria Estefan.
both fictional AND owned by some dude called Michael Crichton!? Well I'm WAY too smart
to buy THAT! hehe.
Spoilers-Up to Supplies and demands season 8. (takes place just after Abby and Carter have their
little 'talk' on the riverside.
AN: Could be a carby, could be carsan-could be neither. Read and find out...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"...You don't have to settle for anything Carter." muttered Abby as she turned to leave.
As Abby began to walk away John suddenly felt a pang of remorse.
"Abby-wait..."
"No John-you think there's too much history!? Fine no one's asking you to
'settle' -I sure as hell am not. "
John grabbed her arm and faced her.
"Well, wait a minute, how do you think I feel? All you do is talk about Luka-Luka
this, Luka that...it's like I'm the one YOU decided to just 'settle for' 'cause I certainly
don't feel like I come first. How do you think that makes ME feel?"
"I don't know -you never talk to me anymore so how the hell am I supposed to know
how you feel?" she retorted back looking him straight in the eyes.
"Maybe I'd be able to to talk to you if you weren't always looking over my shoulder
at Luka!" he threw back beginning to raise his voice a little.
"Oh and you think you haven't done the same thing with Susan Lewis!?"
"What does she have to do with anything?"
Abby put her hand on her hip before retorting:
"You have the cheek to condemn me for paying more attention to Luka than you,
when you do the exact same thing to me. Whenever Susan is around you haven't
got any time for me. It's always how great she is, and how wonderful it is that she's back,
and how she dragged you off to Yoga class or gave you a back rub. You're not the only
one who feel like a damn consolation prize around here, Carter."
"Now wait a minute, they are two totaly different situations. Susan and I are old friends.
You and Luka were in a serious relationship-where as the relationship between Susan
and I has always been totally platonic."
"Has it Carter?" accused Abby.
"What?" Carter blinked.
"Are trying to tell me you've never felt anything for Dr. Lewis beyond friendship?" her tone becoming harder.
"What? Of course. Well..."
"Well what? If you respect me at all you'll be honest-I deserve at least that." fumed Abby.
Carter turned away from her for a moment before replying.
"Once, a long-LONG time ago I had a crush on her..."
"And did she reciprocate those feelings for you?"
"Huh? No-she was a doctor I was just a med student. "
"So nothing ever happened!?"
"No....well...once we nearly kissed. I was going to kiss her. But SHE called it off and we were
just firm friends ever since. That's ALL. I was young-it didn't mean anything..."
"Whatever Carter-the point is you DID have feelings for her-and frankly it seems to me like you still do.
Not so long ago on this very spot you tell me you have feelings for me, you hand me an ultimatem-WHICH I fulfill
and just when things seem to be going well SHE shows up and everything changes...seems
like I'm not the only one with 'too much history' Carter."
With that she continued to walkaway leaving Carter alone by the bench-just as he had done not so long ago.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As she walked back to the ER Abby was fuming with anger. But beneath it she was also hurting inside.
She had thought things were going well with her and John. She was sure they'd end up going out.
*Then that stupid Susan had to show up and ruin everything. Damn her. Who the hell is she
to command such attention form Carter. Where had she been during his recovery form the stabbing?
During his recovery form addiction? Hell-*I* was the one supporting him. He practically owes me his
life-why the hell can't I have his love? I deserve at least more attention and respect in any case.
He acts as though our friendship means nothing anymore. Like it was convenient so long as he needed
me-but now that he's off probation and everything-he doesn't have the time of day for me. I dunno...
Ok Maybe-I'm exagerating-but damn it, why does this always happen to me. Nothing can go right-
SOMETHING has to screw things up just when they are going so well.
And HER of all people. That domineering self absorbed doctor. Always ordering me around like I'm
some candy striper assisstant.*
Abby took a deep breath-feeling saturated in her own pain and self pity.
*Forget it-I will NOT let it get to me. If he wants to be that way-then fine-HIS loss. He's being arrogant
and self centred and selfish and..*
She sighed.
*So why do I love him so much?*
**********************************************
Love sometimes can be like destiny,
There's no way to say forever,
You may not realise your dreams,
I have broken all the rules of love'
I never dreamed that I could come this far'
And now im lost in my emotion'
You're becoming my devotion'
There's nothing I can do to stop this love for you.
I was not supposed to fall in love with you,
I had someone else,
Someone else is loving you.
... I was not supposed to let this love get through.
*********************************************************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carter sat by the river a few minutes more-lost in thought.
Abby was just over reacting. I mean-he didn't have feelings for Susan, they were just old friends. Like
he and Abby had been....ok bad example. But no Abby was just being paranoid.
Sheesh-why did everything always have to be so complicated? Why couldn't Abby and he just got together in the first place?
Then there'd be no Luka to worry about, no Susan to worry about. Not that there was anything to worry about where
Susan was concerned-no, Abby was dead wrong about that. Wasn't she?
*OK-so I liked her a long time ago. Big deal. That was nothing. I was young kid. She was my teacher.
It didn't mean a thing. Just a minor infatuation. Nothing ever came of it-and besides I don't even feel that way
anymore. Do I?
Of course I don't-she's just paranoid-and has no reason to be either.
Hell if anybody should feel paranoid it should be me. Like she said they were together a whole year-there has
to be history. But it just feel like there's too much. I mean she clearly still cares abou him-and frankly
I think he does too. For her.
Maybe I'm over reacting. Yeah she does seem to obsess over him lately-more so than when they were a couple!
Maybe....maybe it's only natural and she just needs time. It's possible it's just a transitional phase. *
Carter frowned as he thought it over.
*Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon. We should probably both step back a little.
She has come out of a serious relationship-she probably should take some time to herself.
Yeah-that sounds like a good idea-give her time, after all like Susan said-I don't wanna end
up being the rebound guy.
Gosh I love Susan that way, she always seem to know just what to...Oh God I didn't mean love her-
LOVE her. I just meant...I'm not sure what I meant.*
**************************************************
Love sometimes is like flowing wind,
It can take us to wherever,
Sending us on wings.
I have broken all the rules of love'
I never dreamed that I could come this far'
And now im lost in my emotion'
You're becoming my devotion'
There's nothing I can do to stop this love for you.
I was not supposed to fall in love with you,
I had someone else,
Someone else is loving you.
... I was not supposed to let this love get through.
*****************************************************
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: Well would you like to see more? Let me know what you think. Will it be a carby? Will it be a carsan?
Will it be something else? Wait and see. If you wanna see how it carries on then just fill in that little 'ol review box!!
Baby jen xx
PS. Lyrics were taken from Heaven is how I feel -Gloria Estefan.