The X-Men Evolution Telethon
By: Nagi-Oki
Scene: Back on the stage, Mystique is smiling as the professor welcomes back the audiance.
Professor" Welcome back, as I was just telling Mystique. We've all been busy little bees preparing for our spectacular second season.
Mystique: Really? I wonder what it would be like if we WERE bees...
[Cue cheesy daydream dissolve: The Xavier Hive for Gifted Arthropods, a grumpy Logan dressed in a bee costume walks in.]
Logan: Honey I'm home...
[Ororo comes out dressed as a bee with a crown on her head.]
Ororo: Welcome home, Logan. What's the BUZZ from the PLANT?
Logan: Ah you know, wiggle wiggle, buzz, wiggly wiggle buzzly buzz buzz.
Ororo: Wipe your feet, I don't want you tracking pollen all over the floor. I just waxed it!
[The professor wheels out dressed up as a bee.]
Professor: Assemble the swarm, the Brotherhood of evil arthropods is getting ready to attack.
[The students pile in, dressed in equally cheap bee costumes. Kurt's costume is blue and black instead of black and yellow.]
Scott: It must be a STING operation!
Evan: Just tell them to BUZZ off!
Jean: We'll BEE all we can BEE!
Rogue: Oh just let it BEE, HONEY!
Kurt: Ve'll just have to grin and BEAR it!
Kitty: Like what's the BUZZ professor!
Logan: Stop right there! That's enough bad bee puns from you kids.
[The Brotherhood comes in dressed as equally stupid bees, except for Fred he's dressed as a bear. Lance leaps at Scott, turns around, and thrusts his stinger at Scott.]
Lance: Take that Sumnervs!
[Scott and Lance start fencing with their stingers. Blob sits there and eays honey from a pot as Jean and Rogue try to sting him.]
Rogue: We gotta stop him before he gets the royal jelly!
OS Mystique: Ok, I've had enough of this.
[Cue disolve back to reality: Mystique looks totally weirded out by that skit.]
Mystique: That has to be the stupidest piece of crap I've ever seen since Asteroid M.
OS Magneto: HEY!
Mystique: Well it IS!
Professor: Moving right along, most people would be surprised that Fredrick J. Dukes can do more than eat...
Mystique: Yes, thanks to a special method of liposuction, he now sells homemade soaps on the internet.
[Everyone drops what they're doing to stare at Mystique like she just exploded.]
Amanda: EEEEWWWW...
Forge: Well I'll never eat again as long as I live...
Sabretooth: TMI 'Stique...TOO MUCH INFORMATION...
Professor: Actually I was referring to his hobby of singing folk and country songs.
Mystique: Sounds more like a gopher caught in lawnmower.
Professor: And with the dramatic help of Evan Daniels and Pietro Maximoff, he brings to us the epic tale of two fiddle players. Live in studio 34, here's Fred Dukes singing 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia'!
[Cut to: A stage with Fred sitting in a pile of hay tuning a guitar.]
Fred: Hey all, I'm gonna sing you one of my favorite country songs with the help of my friend Pietro and his rival Evan.
[Fred starts strumming the guitar as behind him in the back ground Pietro wanders out on stage. He's wearing horns and a red leotard with a spaded tail, he's rubbing his hands together in an evil manner, looking around wildly.]
Fred:
The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind, 'cause he was way behind, he was willing to make a deal.
[Pietro looks surprised as he pouints to Evan sitting under a fake tree playing with a fiddle.]
Fred:
When he came across this young man sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot.
[Pietro jumps onto a stump and mouths his part of the song. Evan looks up at Pietro watching with intrigue as he acts.]
Fred:
And the Devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said,
"Boy let me tell you what:
I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too,
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the Devil his due.
I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul
'cause I think I'm better than you."
[Evan mouths his part, rubbing his chin in consideration.]
Fred:
The boy said, "My name's Johnny and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret,
'cause I'm the best there's ever been."
[Evan gets up, they circle each other sizing for the fight.]
Fred:
Johnny, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard,
'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Devil deals it hard
And if you win you'll get this shiny fiddle made of gold,
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul!
[Pietro opens a violin case and pulls out a fiddle made of gold (FAKE!!!). He mock plays it and a red spotlight shines down on him.]
Fred:
The Devil opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow.
And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss.
Then a band of demons joined in, and it sounded something like this.
[Lance, Tabby, and Mesemero dressed up as cheesy demons with a guitar, a tamborine, and a bongo start playing with Pietro. When his solo's finished, the stage returns to it's normal colour. Evan gets up with a reed in his mouth and motions for Pietro to sit down.]
Fred:
When the Devil finished, Johnny said, "Well you're pretty good old son.
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done!"
[Evan starts playing, Pietro doesn't look impressed.]
Fred:
Fire on the Mountain, run, boys, run.
The Devil's in the house of the rising sun.
Chicken in the breadpan picking out dough,
Granny does your dog bite, "No, child, no."
Fred:
The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet.
Johnny said, "Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again,
I done told you once, you son of a #####, I'm the best there's ever been."
[Pietro jumps as he hears the lyrics. The song stops once Pietro starts screaming.]
Pietro: WAIT A MINUTE! WAITTAMINUTE! WAITTAMINUTE!! WHADDAYAMEAN THE DEVIL'S BEEN BEAT! I'M THE DEVIL! I CAN'T LOSE! 'SPECIALLY NOT EVEN TO DANIELS!
Evan: Pietro you lose! Get over it! That's how the song goes!
Pietro: THIS IS BULLCRAP! I'M THE DEVIL FOR CRIPES' SAKE! I'LL OPEN UP THE GROUND AND SUCK YOU TO CHINA!
Evan: Grow up Maximoff!
Pietro: Here's your gold fiddle you wussy!
[Pietro smashes the fiddle on Evan's head. Evan screams in rage and tackles Pietro as the two try to strangle each other. Fred watches from the foreground. He turns around and smiles nervously.]
Fred: Uuuh...back to you Chuck.
[Cut to: Main stage, Mystique and Forge are betting on who will win.]
Forge: I got twenty on Evan!
Mystique: Hell yea! I'm up for that!
Professor: Thank you Fred, that was...dramatic. Anyway, it's time Bobby tested your X-Gene IQ on...
Everyone: WHO'S THE MUTANT!!!
[Bobby makes an iceslide onto the stage as the audiance applauds.]
Bobby: Yea! Hang onto yer lunch! Cuz it's time for WHO'S THE MUTANT! The game where everyone, including you viewers can try to guess who's the mutant! Now here's the way it goes, three pictures will appear on your screen. YOU have to guess which person's the mutant.
Professor: That sounds hard.
Bobby: Don't worry, if you can't guess it, we'll highlight the mutant for you! Ok now for our first group...
[Three picture appears on the screen, it's Bob Dole. The next is Warren Worthington III. The last one is Elton John.]
Bobby: Ok everyone...WHO'S THE MUTANT!
Audiance: 'Number one!' 'Pick number one!' 'No it's three!' 'Three! Three! Definately number three!' 'I'll bet money it's number three!' 'Gravy!'
Professor: Gee...this is going to be a lot harder than I thought...
Bobby: Three seconds professor...
Professor: Um...um...number three!
BUZZ!
Bobby: I'm sorry professor, the CORRECT answer was number two. But maybe the next one will be easier.
[The first picture is Nick Fury. The second picture is Captain America. The third picture is Sabretooth.]
Sabretooth: OOOO! I know this one! It is SOOO easy!
Bobby: No pinching from the peanut gallery! Ok professor X! WHO'S THE MUANT!
Audiance: 'Number one!' 'Pick number two!' 'No it's one!' 'Three! No two! No definately number one!' 'It's two you numnut!' 'Buttered toast!'
Professor: Number two!
BUZZ!
Bobby: Nope, it's number three. Boy you suck at this professor...
Professor: This is too hard!
Bobby: Well our next one's a REAL TOUGHIE!
[The first picture's Marilyn Manson. The second's Micheal Jackson. The third's Tom Green.]
Bobby: WHO'S THE MUTANT!!!
Audiance: 'Ouch...' 'That's TOO hard...' 'Nope, too rich for my blood.' 'My mom says not to pick my belly button!' 'I'm stumped' 'Me too.'
Professor: It's number two! I tutored him for a year!
Bobby: Actually it's a trick question professor. ALL THREE ARE MUTIES!^^
[Everyone claps and cheers. There's a loud siren.]
Bobby: That siren can only mean one thing!
Mystique: It's time for the lightning round?
Bobby: No, that Kurt had to call the cops to pry Evan and Pietro appart. But that's not a bad idea!
Professor: Oh boy! And while we're waiting for them to bring out the cones of silence, let's check on our number board. Hi Jean!
Mystique: Now there's something you need.
Jean: We're made it to $12,045.08! But that's not enough to cover the dental bills! Please call in with your donations! We've worked really hard on this season, but without your support the third season can't even get off the ground! Our operators are standing by. In fact, let's listen to one of our donators right now.
[Close up on Juggernaut on the phone.]
Juggernaut: Joe's Crematorium, you kill 'em we grill 'em.
Gambit: Hello, dhis be Gambit. He just seen Strategy-X and---
[Juggernaut slams the phone down.]
Juggernaut: When will that bum get a REAL job...
[He sees the camera's on him.]
Juggernaut: Hey! Get that ####in' camera off me!
[The camera turns to Principal Kelly.]
Kelly: C'mon! You gotta chip in or I'm gonna be PRINCIPAL Kelly for the remainder of my natural life! NO! NO! Don't hang up! Whaddo I gotta do to keep you on the phone!
Caller: Do the happy dance.
Kelly: Do the what? How're you gonna see it the camera's---
[Kelly sees the camera.]
Kelly: ---...just inches away from my face. Ok, I'll do it...
[Kelly gets up and starts shuffling his feet.]
Caller: Sing the song too!
Kelly: ~...I'm doin' the happy dance...doin' the happy dance...doin' the happy dance...~
[Cut to: Center stage, Xavier is nest to Bobby and Mystique has the cone of silence around her head.]
Bobby: That's great Jean! Keep us posted, but now it's time for the lightning round. The rules are as follows, I'll read off this list of names. You say whether this person is a mutant or human. You've got fifteen seconds professor Xavier, are you ready!?
Professor: As ready as I'll ever be.
[A ticking clock appears in the corner of the screen.]
Bobby: Faye Valentine...
Professor: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Son Goku...
Professor: ...mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Katsuhiko Jinai...
Professor: Muant, no human can laugh like that.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Naga...
Professor: Mutant...
BUZZ!
Bobby: Ash Catchem...
Professor: Mutant, to annoying to be a human.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Gene Starwind...
Professor: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Britanny Diggers...
Professor: Mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Anthy Himemiya...
Professor: Mutant.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Bart Simpson...
Professor: Mutant.
BUZZ!
Bobby: And finally, Freakazoid...
Professor: Human, no wait mutant.
PING!
[The buzzer goes off.]
Bobby: Not bad professor, five of ten. Now Mystique has to do better than five in order to win.
Mystique: ...
Bobby: Ok Mystique you can come out now.
[Mystique takes off the cone of silence.]
Bobby: Ok Mystique, now professor scored five out of ten so five is the score to beat. Just say whether the person I say is a mutant or a human, let's put fifteen seconds on the clock. Are you ready?
Mystique: Yes indeedy.
Bobby: Faye Valentine...
Mystique: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Son Goku...
Mystique: Mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Katsuhiko Jinai...
Mystique: Um...pass.
Bobby: Naga...
Mystique: Mutant.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Ash Catchem...
Mystique: Human, too annoying to be a mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Gene Starwind...
Mystique: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Britanny Diggers...
Mystique: Mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Anthy Himemiya...
Mystique: Mutant.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Bart Simpson...
Mystique: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Freakazoid...
Mystique: Mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Ok, Katsuhiko Jinai...
Mystique: Um...
[A loud buzzer goes off.]
Bobby: I'm so sorry Mystique, Jinai is human. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. But you beat the professor with seven out of ten! Thank you both for playing WHO'S THE MUTANT!
[The audiance applauds Bobby as he makes an ice slide off stage.]
Professor: Thanks again Bobby, we'll be right back after we have Sabretooth spayed.
[Sabretooth looks up, he looks a little nervous.]
Sabretooth: Wha...?
[Cut to comercial.]
By: Nagi-Oki
Scene: Back on the stage, Mystique is smiling as the professor welcomes back the audiance.
Professor" Welcome back, as I was just telling Mystique. We've all been busy little bees preparing for our spectacular second season.
Mystique: Really? I wonder what it would be like if we WERE bees...
[Cue cheesy daydream dissolve: The Xavier Hive for Gifted Arthropods, a grumpy Logan dressed in a bee costume walks in.]
Logan: Honey I'm home...
[Ororo comes out dressed as a bee with a crown on her head.]
Ororo: Welcome home, Logan. What's the BUZZ from the PLANT?
Logan: Ah you know, wiggle wiggle, buzz, wiggly wiggle buzzly buzz buzz.
Ororo: Wipe your feet, I don't want you tracking pollen all over the floor. I just waxed it!
[The professor wheels out dressed up as a bee.]
Professor: Assemble the swarm, the Brotherhood of evil arthropods is getting ready to attack.
[The students pile in, dressed in equally cheap bee costumes. Kurt's costume is blue and black instead of black and yellow.]
Scott: It must be a STING operation!
Evan: Just tell them to BUZZ off!
Jean: We'll BEE all we can BEE!
Rogue: Oh just let it BEE, HONEY!
Kurt: Ve'll just have to grin and BEAR it!
Kitty: Like what's the BUZZ professor!
Logan: Stop right there! That's enough bad bee puns from you kids.
[The Brotherhood comes in dressed as equally stupid bees, except for Fred he's dressed as a bear. Lance leaps at Scott, turns around, and thrusts his stinger at Scott.]
Lance: Take that Sumnervs!
[Scott and Lance start fencing with their stingers. Blob sits there and eays honey from a pot as Jean and Rogue try to sting him.]
Rogue: We gotta stop him before he gets the royal jelly!
OS Mystique: Ok, I've had enough of this.
[Cue disolve back to reality: Mystique looks totally weirded out by that skit.]
Mystique: That has to be the stupidest piece of crap I've ever seen since Asteroid M.
OS Magneto: HEY!
Mystique: Well it IS!
Professor: Moving right along, most people would be surprised that Fredrick J. Dukes can do more than eat...
Mystique: Yes, thanks to a special method of liposuction, he now sells homemade soaps on the internet.
[Everyone drops what they're doing to stare at Mystique like she just exploded.]
Amanda: EEEEWWWW...
Forge: Well I'll never eat again as long as I live...
Sabretooth: TMI 'Stique...TOO MUCH INFORMATION...
Professor: Actually I was referring to his hobby of singing folk and country songs.
Mystique: Sounds more like a gopher caught in lawnmower.
Professor: And with the dramatic help of Evan Daniels and Pietro Maximoff, he brings to us the epic tale of two fiddle players. Live in studio 34, here's Fred Dukes singing 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia'!
[Cut to: A stage with Fred sitting in a pile of hay tuning a guitar.]
Fred: Hey all, I'm gonna sing you one of my favorite country songs with the help of my friend Pietro and his rival Evan.
[Fred starts strumming the guitar as behind him in the back ground Pietro wanders out on stage. He's wearing horns and a red leotard with a spaded tail, he's rubbing his hands together in an evil manner, looking around wildly.]
Fred:
The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind, 'cause he was way behind, he was willing to make a deal.
[Pietro looks surprised as he pouints to Evan sitting under a fake tree playing with a fiddle.]
Fred:
When he came across this young man sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot.
[Pietro jumps onto a stump and mouths his part of the song. Evan looks up at Pietro watching with intrigue as he acts.]
Fred:
And the Devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said,
"Boy let me tell you what:
I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too,
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the Devil his due.
I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul
'cause I think I'm better than you."
[Evan mouths his part, rubbing his chin in consideration.]
Fred:
The boy said, "My name's Johnny and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret,
'cause I'm the best there's ever been."
[Evan gets up, they circle each other sizing for the fight.]
Fred:
Johnny, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard,
'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Devil deals it hard
And if you win you'll get this shiny fiddle made of gold,
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul!
[Pietro opens a violin case and pulls out a fiddle made of gold (FAKE!!!). He mock plays it and a red spotlight shines down on him.]
Fred:
The Devil opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow.
And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss.
Then a band of demons joined in, and it sounded something like this.
[Lance, Tabby, and Mesemero dressed up as cheesy demons with a guitar, a tamborine, and a bongo start playing with Pietro. When his solo's finished, the stage returns to it's normal colour. Evan gets up with a reed in his mouth and motions for Pietro to sit down.]
Fred:
When the Devil finished, Johnny said, "Well you're pretty good old son.
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done!"
[Evan starts playing, Pietro doesn't look impressed.]
Fred:
Fire on the Mountain, run, boys, run.
The Devil's in the house of the rising sun.
Chicken in the breadpan picking out dough,
Granny does your dog bite, "No, child, no."
Fred:
The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet.
Johnny said, "Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again,
I done told you once, you son of a #####, I'm the best there's ever been."
[Pietro jumps as he hears the lyrics. The song stops once Pietro starts screaming.]
Pietro: WAIT A MINUTE! WAITTAMINUTE! WAITTAMINUTE!! WHADDAYAMEAN THE DEVIL'S BEEN BEAT! I'M THE DEVIL! I CAN'T LOSE! 'SPECIALLY NOT EVEN TO DANIELS!
Evan: Pietro you lose! Get over it! That's how the song goes!
Pietro: THIS IS BULLCRAP! I'M THE DEVIL FOR CRIPES' SAKE! I'LL OPEN UP THE GROUND AND SUCK YOU TO CHINA!
Evan: Grow up Maximoff!
Pietro: Here's your gold fiddle you wussy!
[Pietro smashes the fiddle on Evan's head. Evan screams in rage and tackles Pietro as the two try to strangle each other. Fred watches from the foreground. He turns around and smiles nervously.]
Fred: Uuuh...back to you Chuck.
[Cut to: Main stage, Mystique and Forge are betting on who will win.]
Forge: I got twenty on Evan!
Mystique: Hell yea! I'm up for that!
Professor: Thank you Fred, that was...dramatic. Anyway, it's time Bobby tested your X-Gene IQ on...
Everyone: WHO'S THE MUTANT!!!
[Bobby makes an iceslide onto the stage as the audiance applauds.]
Bobby: Yea! Hang onto yer lunch! Cuz it's time for WHO'S THE MUTANT! The game where everyone, including you viewers can try to guess who's the mutant! Now here's the way it goes, three pictures will appear on your screen. YOU have to guess which person's the mutant.
Professor: That sounds hard.
Bobby: Don't worry, if you can't guess it, we'll highlight the mutant for you! Ok now for our first group...
[Three picture appears on the screen, it's Bob Dole. The next is Warren Worthington III. The last one is Elton John.]
Bobby: Ok everyone...WHO'S THE MUTANT!
Audiance: 'Number one!' 'Pick number one!' 'No it's three!' 'Three! Three! Definately number three!' 'I'll bet money it's number three!' 'Gravy!'
Professor: Gee...this is going to be a lot harder than I thought...
Bobby: Three seconds professor...
Professor: Um...um...number three!
BUZZ!
Bobby: I'm sorry professor, the CORRECT answer was number two. But maybe the next one will be easier.
[The first picture is Nick Fury. The second picture is Captain America. The third picture is Sabretooth.]
Sabretooth: OOOO! I know this one! It is SOOO easy!
Bobby: No pinching from the peanut gallery! Ok professor X! WHO'S THE MUANT!
Audiance: 'Number one!' 'Pick number two!' 'No it's one!' 'Three! No two! No definately number one!' 'It's two you numnut!' 'Buttered toast!'
Professor: Number two!
BUZZ!
Bobby: Nope, it's number three. Boy you suck at this professor...
Professor: This is too hard!
Bobby: Well our next one's a REAL TOUGHIE!
[The first picture's Marilyn Manson. The second's Micheal Jackson. The third's Tom Green.]
Bobby: WHO'S THE MUTANT!!!
Audiance: 'Ouch...' 'That's TOO hard...' 'Nope, too rich for my blood.' 'My mom says not to pick my belly button!' 'I'm stumped' 'Me too.'
Professor: It's number two! I tutored him for a year!
Bobby: Actually it's a trick question professor. ALL THREE ARE MUTIES!^^
[Everyone claps and cheers. There's a loud siren.]
Bobby: That siren can only mean one thing!
Mystique: It's time for the lightning round?
Bobby: No, that Kurt had to call the cops to pry Evan and Pietro appart. But that's not a bad idea!
Professor: Oh boy! And while we're waiting for them to bring out the cones of silence, let's check on our number board. Hi Jean!
Mystique: Now there's something you need.
Jean: We're made it to $12,045.08! But that's not enough to cover the dental bills! Please call in with your donations! We've worked really hard on this season, but without your support the third season can't even get off the ground! Our operators are standing by. In fact, let's listen to one of our donators right now.
[Close up on Juggernaut on the phone.]
Juggernaut: Joe's Crematorium, you kill 'em we grill 'em.
Gambit: Hello, dhis be Gambit. He just seen Strategy-X and---
[Juggernaut slams the phone down.]
Juggernaut: When will that bum get a REAL job...
[He sees the camera's on him.]
Juggernaut: Hey! Get that ####in' camera off me!
[The camera turns to Principal Kelly.]
Kelly: C'mon! You gotta chip in or I'm gonna be PRINCIPAL Kelly for the remainder of my natural life! NO! NO! Don't hang up! Whaddo I gotta do to keep you on the phone!
Caller: Do the happy dance.
Kelly: Do the what? How're you gonna see it the camera's---
[Kelly sees the camera.]
Kelly: ---...just inches away from my face. Ok, I'll do it...
[Kelly gets up and starts shuffling his feet.]
Caller: Sing the song too!
Kelly: ~...I'm doin' the happy dance...doin' the happy dance...doin' the happy dance...~
[Cut to: Center stage, Xavier is nest to Bobby and Mystique has the cone of silence around her head.]
Bobby: That's great Jean! Keep us posted, but now it's time for the lightning round. The rules are as follows, I'll read off this list of names. You say whether this person is a mutant or human. You've got fifteen seconds professor Xavier, are you ready!?
Professor: As ready as I'll ever be.
[A ticking clock appears in the corner of the screen.]
Bobby: Faye Valentine...
Professor: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Son Goku...
Professor: ...mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Katsuhiko Jinai...
Professor: Muant, no human can laugh like that.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Naga...
Professor: Mutant...
BUZZ!
Bobby: Ash Catchem...
Professor: Mutant, to annoying to be a human.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Gene Starwind...
Professor: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Britanny Diggers...
Professor: Mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Anthy Himemiya...
Professor: Mutant.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Bart Simpson...
Professor: Mutant.
BUZZ!
Bobby: And finally, Freakazoid...
Professor: Human, no wait mutant.
PING!
[The buzzer goes off.]
Bobby: Not bad professor, five of ten. Now Mystique has to do better than five in order to win.
Mystique: ...
Bobby: Ok Mystique you can come out now.
[Mystique takes off the cone of silence.]
Bobby: Ok Mystique, now professor scored five out of ten so five is the score to beat. Just say whether the person I say is a mutant or a human, let's put fifteen seconds on the clock. Are you ready?
Mystique: Yes indeedy.
Bobby: Faye Valentine...
Mystique: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Son Goku...
Mystique: Mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Katsuhiko Jinai...
Mystique: Um...pass.
Bobby: Naga...
Mystique: Mutant.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Ash Catchem...
Mystique: Human, too annoying to be a mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Gene Starwind...
Mystique: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Britanny Diggers...
Mystique: Mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Anthy Himemiya...
Mystique: Mutant.
BUZZ!
Bobby: Bart Simpson...
Mystique: Human.
PING!
Bobby: Freakazoid...
Mystique: Mutant.
PING!
Bobby: Ok, Katsuhiko Jinai...
Mystique: Um...
[A loud buzzer goes off.]
Bobby: I'm so sorry Mystique, Jinai is human. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. But you beat the professor with seven out of ten! Thank you both for playing WHO'S THE MUTANT!
[The audiance applauds Bobby as he makes an ice slide off stage.]
Professor: Thanks again Bobby, we'll be right back after we have Sabretooth spayed.
[Sabretooth looks up, he looks a little nervous.]
Sabretooth: Wha...?
[Cut to comercial.]