The X-Men: Evolution telethon
By: Nagi-Oki
Scene: Mystique and the professor are watching something going on off screen. There's a sound like a guilotinne falling then a loud screaming.
Mystique: A-Mazing!!! Let's hear it for rabbai Tuckman!
[The audiance claps as the rabbai walks on screen taking a bow. There's a whimpering heard off screen.]
Rabbai: Put a little ice on it, it'll be fine.
Sabretooth: OWWWIE!!!
Professor: Thanks again rabbai, too bad the Benedictine monks canceled on us.
[The rabbai leaves the stage.]
Mystique: So professor, what other pleasant surprises can we expect tonight?
Professor: I don't know Mystique, but I'm definately excited!
[Juggernaut stands up and takes off his chestplate.]
Juggernaut: YOU'RE excited!? Feel these nipples!
[The professor shudders.]
Professor: Yeeuuuuuuuuggghhh...
Mystique: Uhhhh...maybe we should go to studio 58 where a few of the new recruits have made a tribute to somebody very special. YES! You know him, you love him, but you'll never spend more than five minutes alone in a car with him! Todd Tolensky!
[Everybody claps as the scene cuts to Bayville auditorium done up for a dance. Arcade's still at the turn tables. Jubilee, Amara, Rahne, Kitty, Rogue, and Tabitha are dressed up as fly dancers. Ray, Bobby, and Roberto are off to the side dressed in equally fly threads. The Toad stumbles out looking like Marky Mark's closet threw up on him. The girls walk around him in a kind of tease fashion.]
Girls: Give it to me baby,
Todd: Uh huh uh huh
Girls: Give it to me baby,
Tod: Uh huh uh huh
Girls: Give it to me baby,
Todd: Uh huh uh huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy
[The girls push Todd down as the guitar solo starts. Roberto counts off the numbers on his fingers.]
Roberto: Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco seis
[Ray takes the mike as Todd tries to 'hang out with Roberto and Bobby who just push him away comically.]
Ray:
You know its kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool
But he fakes it anyway
[Bobby takes the mike as Todd tries flirting with Amara only to get a cup dumped on his head.]
Bobby:
He may not have a clue and
He may not have style
But everything he lacks
Well he makes a big denial
[Todd shrugs and just tries to dance a little as the girls laugh at him.]
Ray, Roberto, + Bobby:
So don't debate
A player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field
And keep it real
For you no way
For you no way
So if you don't rate
Just overcompensate
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
[Todd watches as everyone walks over to a new corner of the floor and he scrambles to follow them.]
Ray, Roberto, + Bobby:
The world needs wannabee's so
Hey hey
Do that brand new thing
[The girls dance seductively teasing and taunting Todd.]
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly---
[The girls push him over making gag faces at his poser attempts.]
Girls:
for a white guy
Bobby:
He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice
[Ray hold up a poster of Ice Cube.]
Bobby:
But they didn't have Ice Cube
[Roberto holds up a Vanilla Ice poster.]
Bobby:
So he bought Vanilla Ice
[Ray and Roberto kind of stand hanging around when Todd walks up giving the white guy jive thing.]
Bobby:
Now cruising in his Pinto
He sees homies as he pass
[Ray and Roberto look at each other then pretend to beat up Todd.]
Bobby:
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily @$$!
[Ray and Roberto leave Todd to go sing the chorus with Bobby.]
Ray, Bobby, + Roberto:
So don't debate
A player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field
And keep it real
For you no way
For you no way
So if you don't rate
Just overcompensate
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
[Todd gets up and stylishly stumbles around looking like he's dancing. The girls start taking more of an interest in him.]
Ray, Bobby, + Roberto:
The world loves wannabee's so
Hey hey
Do that brand new thing
Roberto:
Now he's gettin' a tattoo yeah
He's gettin' ink done
He asked for a 13
[Todd lifts up his shirt there's a big 31 painted on his chest.]
Roberto:
But they drew a 31
Friends say he's trying to hard
And he's not quite hip
But in his own mind
He's the he's the dopest trip
[The girls start dancing, Todd's still kinda stumbling around. They're diggin' his actions.]
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
[Roberto counts off on his fingers.]
Roberto:
Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco seis
[Roberto, Ray, and Bobby try to flirt with the girls and dance with them.]
Ray, Bobby, + Roberto:
So don't debate
A player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field
And keep it real
For you no way
For you no way
So if you don't rate
Just overcompensate
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
Ray, Bobby, + Roberto:
The world needs wannabee's ah
The world loves a wannabee's so ah
Lets get some more a wannabee's and ah
Hey hey
Do that brand new thing
[Ray, Roberto, and Bobby stand there slack jawed and shocked as the girls walk off flirting with Todd. They turn to the camera and shrug. The audiance goes wild. Cut to: Mystique and the professor clapping for the group.]
Mystique: Bravo! Bravo!
Professor: Aren't they talented? Those boys will go far one day, mark my words!
Mystique: Ok, let's go to Forge and---
[Mystique turns and sees Paul taking calls instead of Forge.]
Professor: Paul...?
Paul: One second!
Mystique: Paul where's Forge?
Paul: He had to leave early, he had to go to his Hook'd on Ebonics class.
Professor: Oh yea, those classes have really paid off, I haven't heard a cheesy 70's phrase out of him for a month.
Mystique: Ok, why is Griff taking Sabretooth's calls?
Griff: Went to get some ice, still hurtin' from the rabbai.
Mystique: Ok, why's Duncan taking Beast's calls?
Duncan: Sabretooth wanted a medical opinion.
Mystique: And why is Jason taking Juggernaut's calls?
Jason: The big baby needed someone to hold his hand.
Mystique: Oh well, hey Jean how's the figure's coming!?
Jean: We're up to $30,701.68 and still going strong!
[The audiance cheers.]
Professor: That's just grand, but I'm afraid we still need more. That's why to those of you who pledge $100 dollars we're giving you as a special gift, this...
[Mystique holds up can/bottle opener keychain.]
Mystique: This Keychain bottle AND can opener. No more broken nails from those pop-tops any more and they say a REAL MAN can open bottles with his teeth, they mean a REAL STUPID MAN!
Professor: For those of you who pledge $200, we offer...
[Mystique holds up a lock of hair.]
Professor: A lock of hair?
Mystique: Not just ANY lock of hair. A lock of Logan's back hair!
Professor: Ewww! And you're holding it!
Mystique: Shut up and get to the $300 pledge, this crap isn't that pleasant to hold.
Professor: Ok, for $300 we give you...
[Mystique holds up an autographed picture of the Blob.]
Professor: ...Maybe we should give them something these people might actually want.
Mystique: Hey, I suggested an autographed picture of Pietro but it'd cost a bloody fortune.
Professor: How so?
Mystique: The kid's too dang vain for his own good. That's another reason we need the money, he won't let his face be recorded by the best most expensive equipment on the planet.
Professor: Well...all the more incentive to donate $400 and receive...
[Mystique holds up a CD.]
Mystique: 'Drunken Karaoke Party' 5 'Version: X...MEN!'. Yes, you can have this CD of your favorite X-Men from all over the X-Verse drunk out of their skulls singing Karaoke! In this CD you get a VERY drunken Uncanny Sabretooth and Wolverine singing 'Macarena', Movie Sabretooth singing 'Feelings', you get Ultimate Brotherhood singing 'Princes of the Universe'. AND if you throw in an extra $100 we'll add 'A VERY DRUNK MAGNETO AIRS HIS GRIEVENCES!' CD. In fact let's give track 1 'Toad take a ****in' bath!'...
[They play: A loud belch is heard.]
CD Magneto: Oh GAWD!!! What died in HERE!? Oh...it's just you Toad, PHE-WYY! When's the last time you had a bath! You ****in' stink ya know that!?
Mystique: And you'll get such rare moments as 'Professor Magneto'...
CD Magneto: ...And in the end. The French will rot in hell, along with the Nazis and merderererers and country singers!
CD Jamie: Mr. Magneto you're scaring me.
CD Magneto: *EEEEERP*
Mystique: That one's my favorite.
Professor: So call in. And completely off subject I'm just taking the time to thank our wonderful and gracious guest stars who take our crap, work with the suckiest dialogue, the worst storylines, and get paid even LESS than the kid who works at Burger King.
Mystique: YES! And if we get enough funding we'll have PLENTY of surprising and wonderful guests. Like Carrot Top!
[The room goes silent.]
Mystique: Who will be killed by Toad!
[The room goes wild with cheers of joy.]
Professor: And Popeye! You REALLY didn't BELIEVE it was the SPINACH did you?
[Mystique puts a captain's hat on ther professor's head and gives him a pipe. Everyone cracks up, although the professor looks in a mirror and takes a liking to the hat.]
Professor: Not bad, I've been looking for a new look. What do you think Mystique?
Mystique: Cute, in fact it would have been a great prop in tha music video the kids made.
Professor: Well then let's have a look.
[Cut to: It's the beach at sunset, Pietro is wearing a bad hawaiian shirt and a lei beating some bongos.]
Everyone:
Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
[Alex surfs in.]
Alex:
Off the Florida Keys
There's a place called Kokomo
That's where you wanna go to get away from it all
[Evan is dressed as bad as Pietro with a pair of shades and playing the steel drums.]
Alex:
Bodies in the sand
Tropical drink melting in your hand
[Toad is sipping from Lance's drink. When Lance turns to drink he blinks seeing his glass is empty.]
Alex:
We'll be falling in love
To the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in Kokomo
[Scott, Kurt, and Bobby are dancing with Rahne, Kitty, and Amara in hula skirts.]
Scott, Kurt, + Bobby:
Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
Amara, Rahne, + Kitty:
Ooo .... I wanna take you down to Kokomo
Alex:
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo ...
Toad:
To Martinique, that Monserrat mystique
[Alex steps his way over to Rogue who looks like her usual miserable self.]
Alex:
We'll put out to sea
And we'll perfect our chemistry
[Rogue hmphs and slaps Alex. Then flips him over her shoulder.]
Alex:
By and by we'll defy a little bit of gravity
[Alex crashes into a pile of surfboards the stumbles to his feet.]
Alex:
Afternoon delight
Cocktails and moonlit nights
[Alex then tries to flirt with Ororo who is drinking a tropical cocktail.]
Alex:
That dreamy look in your eye
Give me a tropical contact high
[Ororo sprays pepper spray in Alex's eyes. He stumbles around blindly.]
Alex:
Way down in Kokomo ...
[Lance pushes Bobby out of the way so he can hula with Kitty who just smiles and giggles stupidly.]
Scott, Kurt, + Lance:
Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
Amara, Rahne, + Kitty:
Ooo ... I wanna take you down to Kokomo
[Alex blindly stumbles infront of the girls.]
Alex:
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo ...
Todd:
Port Au Prince I wanna catch a glimpse
[Jamie plays a saxophone solo, Alex finally regains his sight. Meanwhile Jean, Amanda, and Taryn stumble upon the set.]
Alex:
Everybody knows
A little place like Kokomo
Now if you wanna go
And get away from it all
Go down to Kokomo ...
[Jean, Amanda, and Taryn see Kurt and Scott dancing with Amara and Rahne. The boys eep and run the girls in hot pursuit.]
Scott + Kurt:
Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
Amara, Rahne, + Kitty:
Ooo ... I wanna take you down to Kokomo
Alex:
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo ...
[Everyone winces as Jean grabs a folding chair and chases after Scott with Taryn carrying a tiki torch. Amanda has Kurt conered and is beating him with a boogie board.
Everyone:
Aruba, Jamaica. ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
[Scott runs towards the camera screaming.]
Alex:
Ooo ... I wanna take you down to Kokomo
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go....
[Jean smacks the camera and the video fuzzes out. Cut to: Professor and Mystique, the professor's still wearing his hat.]
Professor: Their footage was found a year later...And it won first prize on America's Funniest Home Videos.
Mystique: Hey! Where do you think you're going? You're the designated driver! Stay tuned for more wackiness.^^
[Cut to commercial.]
By: Nagi-Oki
Scene: Mystique and the professor are watching something going on off screen. There's a sound like a guilotinne falling then a loud screaming.
Mystique: A-Mazing!!! Let's hear it for rabbai Tuckman!
[The audiance claps as the rabbai walks on screen taking a bow. There's a whimpering heard off screen.]
Rabbai: Put a little ice on it, it'll be fine.
Sabretooth: OWWWIE!!!
Professor: Thanks again rabbai, too bad the Benedictine monks canceled on us.
[The rabbai leaves the stage.]
Mystique: So professor, what other pleasant surprises can we expect tonight?
Professor: I don't know Mystique, but I'm definately excited!
[Juggernaut stands up and takes off his chestplate.]
Juggernaut: YOU'RE excited!? Feel these nipples!
[The professor shudders.]
Professor: Yeeuuuuuuuuggghhh...
Mystique: Uhhhh...maybe we should go to studio 58 where a few of the new recruits have made a tribute to somebody very special. YES! You know him, you love him, but you'll never spend more than five minutes alone in a car with him! Todd Tolensky!
[Everybody claps as the scene cuts to Bayville auditorium done up for a dance. Arcade's still at the turn tables. Jubilee, Amara, Rahne, Kitty, Rogue, and Tabitha are dressed up as fly dancers. Ray, Bobby, and Roberto are off to the side dressed in equally fly threads. The Toad stumbles out looking like Marky Mark's closet threw up on him. The girls walk around him in a kind of tease fashion.]
Girls: Give it to me baby,
Todd: Uh huh uh huh
Girls: Give it to me baby,
Tod: Uh huh uh huh
Girls: Give it to me baby,
Todd: Uh huh uh huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy
[The girls push Todd down as the guitar solo starts. Roberto counts off the numbers on his fingers.]
Roberto: Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco seis
[Ray takes the mike as Todd tries to 'hang out with Roberto and Bobby who just push him away comically.]
Ray:
You know its kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool
But he fakes it anyway
[Bobby takes the mike as Todd tries flirting with Amara only to get a cup dumped on his head.]
Bobby:
He may not have a clue and
He may not have style
But everything he lacks
Well he makes a big denial
[Todd shrugs and just tries to dance a little as the girls laugh at him.]
Ray, Roberto, + Bobby:
So don't debate
A player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field
And keep it real
For you no way
For you no way
So if you don't rate
Just overcompensate
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
[Todd watches as everyone walks over to a new corner of the floor and he scrambles to follow them.]
Ray, Roberto, + Bobby:
The world needs wannabee's so
Hey hey
Do that brand new thing
[The girls dance seductively teasing and taunting Todd.]
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly---
[The girls push him over making gag faces at his poser attempts.]
Girls:
for a white guy
Bobby:
He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice
[Ray hold up a poster of Ice Cube.]
Bobby:
But they didn't have Ice Cube
[Roberto holds up a Vanilla Ice poster.]
Bobby:
So he bought Vanilla Ice
[Ray and Roberto kind of stand hanging around when Todd walks up giving the white guy jive thing.]
Bobby:
Now cruising in his Pinto
He sees homies as he pass
[Ray and Roberto look at each other then pretend to beat up Todd.]
Bobby:
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily @$$!
[Ray and Roberto leave Todd to go sing the chorus with Bobby.]
Ray, Bobby, + Roberto:
So don't debate
A player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field
And keep it real
For you no way
For you no way
So if you don't rate
Just overcompensate
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
[Todd gets up and stylishly stumbles around looking like he's dancing. The girls start taking more of an interest in him.]
Ray, Bobby, + Roberto:
The world loves wannabee's so
Hey hey
Do that brand new thing
Roberto:
Now he's gettin' a tattoo yeah
He's gettin' ink done
He asked for a 13
[Todd lifts up his shirt there's a big 31 painted on his chest.]
Roberto:
But they drew a 31
Friends say he's trying to hard
And he's not quite hip
But in his own mind
He's the he's the dopest trip
[The girls start dancing, Todd's still kinda stumbling around. They're diggin' his actions.]
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
Girls:
Give it to me baby,
Todd:
Uh huh uh huh
[Roberto counts off on his fingers.]
Roberto:
Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco seis
[Roberto, Ray, and Bobby try to flirt with the girls and dance with them.]
Ray, Bobby, + Roberto:
So don't debate
A player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field
And keep it real
For you no way
For you no way
So if you don't rate
Just overcompensate
At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake
Ray, Bobby, + Roberto:
The world needs wannabee's ah
The world loves a wannabee's so ah
Lets get some more a wannabee's and ah
Hey hey
Do that brand new thing
[Ray, Roberto, and Bobby stand there slack jawed and shocked as the girls walk off flirting with Todd. They turn to the camera and shrug. The audiance goes wild. Cut to: Mystique and the professor clapping for the group.]
Mystique: Bravo! Bravo!
Professor: Aren't they talented? Those boys will go far one day, mark my words!
Mystique: Ok, let's go to Forge and---
[Mystique turns and sees Paul taking calls instead of Forge.]
Professor: Paul...?
Paul: One second!
Mystique: Paul where's Forge?
Paul: He had to leave early, he had to go to his Hook'd on Ebonics class.
Professor: Oh yea, those classes have really paid off, I haven't heard a cheesy 70's phrase out of him for a month.
Mystique: Ok, why is Griff taking Sabretooth's calls?
Griff: Went to get some ice, still hurtin' from the rabbai.
Mystique: Ok, why's Duncan taking Beast's calls?
Duncan: Sabretooth wanted a medical opinion.
Mystique: And why is Jason taking Juggernaut's calls?
Jason: The big baby needed someone to hold his hand.
Mystique: Oh well, hey Jean how's the figure's coming!?
Jean: We're up to $30,701.68 and still going strong!
[The audiance cheers.]
Professor: That's just grand, but I'm afraid we still need more. That's why to those of you who pledge $100 dollars we're giving you as a special gift, this...
[Mystique holds up can/bottle opener keychain.]
Mystique: This Keychain bottle AND can opener. No more broken nails from those pop-tops any more and they say a REAL MAN can open bottles with his teeth, they mean a REAL STUPID MAN!
Professor: For those of you who pledge $200, we offer...
[Mystique holds up a lock of hair.]
Professor: A lock of hair?
Mystique: Not just ANY lock of hair. A lock of Logan's back hair!
Professor: Ewww! And you're holding it!
Mystique: Shut up and get to the $300 pledge, this crap isn't that pleasant to hold.
Professor: Ok, for $300 we give you...
[Mystique holds up an autographed picture of the Blob.]
Professor: ...Maybe we should give them something these people might actually want.
Mystique: Hey, I suggested an autographed picture of Pietro but it'd cost a bloody fortune.
Professor: How so?
Mystique: The kid's too dang vain for his own good. That's another reason we need the money, he won't let his face be recorded by the best most expensive equipment on the planet.
Professor: Well...all the more incentive to donate $400 and receive...
[Mystique holds up a CD.]
Mystique: 'Drunken Karaoke Party' 5 'Version: X...MEN!'. Yes, you can have this CD of your favorite X-Men from all over the X-Verse drunk out of their skulls singing Karaoke! In this CD you get a VERY drunken Uncanny Sabretooth and Wolverine singing 'Macarena', Movie Sabretooth singing 'Feelings', you get Ultimate Brotherhood singing 'Princes of the Universe'. AND if you throw in an extra $100 we'll add 'A VERY DRUNK MAGNETO AIRS HIS GRIEVENCES!' CD. In fact let's give track 1 'Toad take a ****in' bath!'...
[They play: A loud belch is heard.]
CD Magneto: Oh GAWD!!! What died in HERE!? Oh...it's just you Toad, PHE-WYY! When's the last time you had a bath! You ****in' stink ya know that!?
Mystique: And you'll get such rare moments as 'Professor Magneto'...
CD Magneto: ...And in the end. The French will rot in hell, along with the Nazis and merderererers and country singers!
CD Jamie: Mr. Magneto you're scaring me.
CD Magneto: *EEEEERP*
Mystique: That one's my favorite.
Professor: So call in. And completely off subject I'm just taking the time to thank our wonderful and gracious guest stars who take our crap, work with the suckiest dialogue, the worst storylines, and get paid even LESS than the kid who works at Burger King.
Mystique: YES! And if we get enough funding we'll have PLENTY of surprising and wonderful guests. Like Carrot Top!
[The room goes silent.]
Mystique: Who will be killed by Toad!
[The room goes wild with cheers of joy.]
Professor: And Popeye! You REALLY didn't BELIEVE it was the SPINACH did you?
[Mystique puts a captain's hat on ther professor's head and gives him a pipe. Everyone cracks up, although the professor looks in a mirror and takes a liking to the hat.]
Professor: Not bad, I've been looking for a new look. What do you think Mystique?
Mystique: Cute, in fact it would have been a great prop in tha music video the kids made.
Professor: Well then let's have a look.
[Cut to: It's the beach at sunset, Pietro is wearing a bad hawaiian shirt and a lei beating some bongos.]
Everyone:
Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
[Alex surfs in.]
Alex:
Off the Florida Keys
There's a place called Kokomo
That's where you wanna go to get away from it all
[Evan is dressed as bad as Pietro with a pair of shades and playing the steel drums.]
Alex:
Bodies in the sand
Tropical drink melting in your hand
[Toad is sipping from Lance's drink. When Lance turns to drink he blinks seeing his glass is empty.]
Alex:
We'll be falling in love
To the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in Kokomo
[Scott, Kurt, and Bobby are dancing with Rahne, Kitty, and Amara in hula skirts.]
Scott, Kurt, + Bobby:
Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
Amara, Rahne, + Kitty:
Ooo .... I wanna take you down to Kokomo
Alex:
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo ...
Toad:
To Martinique, that Monserrat mystique
[Alex steps his way over to Rogue who looks like her usual miserable self.]
Alex:
We'll put out to sea
And we'll perfect our chemistry
[Rogue hmphs and slaps Alex. Then flips him over her shoulder.]
Alex:
By and by we'll defy a little bit of gravity
[Alex crashes into a pile of surfboards the stumbles to his feet.]
Alex:
Afternoon delight
Cocktails and moonlit nights
[Alex then tries to flirt with Ororo who is drinking a tropical cocktail.]
Alex:
That dreamy look in your eye
Give me a tropical contact high
[Ororo sprays pepper spray in Alex's eyes. He stumbles around blindly.]
Alex:
Way down in Kokomo ...
[Lance pushes Bobby out of the way so he can hula with Kitty who just smiles and giggles stupidly.]
Scott, Kurt, + Lance:
Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
Amara, Rahne, + Kitty:
Ooo ... I wanna take you down to Kokomo
[Alex blindly stumbles infront of the girls.]
Alex:
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo ...
Todd:
Port Au Prince I wanna catch a glimpse
[Jamie plays a saxophone solo, Alex finally regains his sight. Meanwhile Jean, Amanda, and Taryn stumble upon the set.]
Alex:
Everybody knows
A little place like Kokomo
Now if you wanna go
And get away from it all
Go down to Kokomo ...
[Jean, Amanda, and Taryn see Kurt and Scott dancing with Amara and Rahne. The boys eep and run the girls in hot pursuit.]
Scott + Kurt:
Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
Amara, Rahne, + Kitty:
Ooo ... I wanna take you down to Kokomo
Alex:
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo ...
[Everyone winces as Jean grabs a folding chair and chases after Scott with Taryn carrying a tiki torch. Amanda has Kurt conered and is beating him with a boogie board.
Everyone:
Aruba, Jamaica. ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
[Scott runs towards the camera screaming.]
Alex:
Ooo ... I wanna take you down to Kokomo
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go....
[Jean smacks the camera and the video fuzzes out. Cut to: Professor and Mystique, the professor's still wearing his hat.]
Professor: Their footage was found a year later...And it won first prize on America's Funniest Home Videos.
Mystique: Hey! Where do you think you're going? You're the designated driver! Stay tuned for more wackiness.^^
[Cut to commercial.]