X-Men: Evolution Telethon
By: Nagi-Oki
Scene: Mystique and the professor talking to a very doped up Sabretooth.
Sabretooth: ...And THAT's how ya get rid of a boil.
Mystique: Thank you Sabretooth, that was...disgusting...
[He gives Mystique a big hug holding onto her, falling like dead weight.]
Mystique: Um...Sabretooth...you're too heavy, get off!
[Mystique falls to the ground with Sabretooth on top of her.]
Sabretooth: *Zzzzzzzzz...*
Mystique: AAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!! SOMEBODY GET THIS SMELLY BEHEMOTH OFF ME!!!
Professor: Awwwww...but you make such a cute couple.
[Mystique growls something indiscernable.]
Professor: And while we're getting the forklift to get Sabretooth to the sick bay let's go to Scott, Evan, Warren, Lance, Fred, and Pietro are ready and rarin' to entertain us.
OS Todd: We got a problem!
[The professor looks off stage.]
OS Kurt: Not now Toad, I've gotta call dhe tumbling chimps and find out vhere dhe hell dhey are!
OS Todd: I got Lance on the phone in studio 11. They say they ain't doin' it.
OS Kurt: VHAT!? Ok, patch him through. If it ain't von dhing, dhose idiots will be sure to screw up!
OS Lance: NOT FOR ALL THE GOLD IN WASHINGTON'S NOSE!!!
OS Kurt: Lance, I don't have time to argue mit you just do dhe skit!
OS Lance: What about my dignity and honor as a man!?
OS Todd: You pretty much gave that up when you started wearing that fruitbowl on your head, yo.
OS Kurt: Grrrrr, ok vhy don't you vant to do your cute little skit.
OS Scott: For one thing, you know I'm a bad singer...
OS Kurt: AND a bad actor, and a bad dresser, and a bad dancer, and a bad leader but dhat never stopped you before!
OS Scott: Yea but---HEY!
OS Evan: It's stupid!
OS KURT: Oh shut up Evan, after the lousy ratings YOU'RE dragging you're lucky ve even keep you around!
OS Pietro: I'm actually excited about this project.
OS Lance: No surprise on this end.
OS Pietro: Shut up Lance!
OS Fred: And Warren's gone AWOL.
OS Kurt: W H A T ! ?
OS Fred: You heard me, the flying chicken flew the coop. We need a replacement! Someone who knows the lyrics.
OS Kurt: FINE! FINE! I'll be right dhere, gimme a minute to shackle somevon else at dhe helm of dhis showboat to hell.
OS Todd: Ehem...EHem...EHEM!
OS Kurt: Some Riccola will clear dhat right up, JAMIE!
OS Todd: Jamie!?
OS Jamie: Hey Kurt what's up?
OS Kurt: Take my headsets and clipboard, you're in charge now. One of dhe boobs in studio 11 escaped so now I have to go replace him. Have dhe professor stall mit some crap or other...an outtake! Have him show an outtake, call the dhe tumbling chimps, tell dhem dhat if dhey ever vanna tumble in DHIS town ever again dhey'd better get dheir butts here SCHNELL! And call the Rockettes, tell dhem dhey're on in 30.
OS Todd: You got da Rockettes?
OS Kurt: Never underestimate dhe power of dhe fuzzy one! I'M OFF!
*BAMF*
OS Jamie: Ok people! You're on MY time now! Magneto get your stuff ready and move it to studio 9! Todd hop to it and get that outtake reel up! Professor stall, outtakes!
Professor: You do know we heard the whole thing right?
OS Jamie: You wanna explain to Kurt why we're wastin' time while he's been bustin' his hump for us!?
Professor: Touche...You know, X-Men: Evolution may cast the most talented mutant actors New Jersey has to offer. But just because they're stars doesn't mean they don't make mistakes. So here's some BLOOPERS OF THE MUTANT STARS!!!
[Cut to: Fight scene on the beach of THE CAULDRON I, Fred falls on top of Kitty. She phases through but she's naked (cue blackboxes). She wobbles around acting dizzy while the other actors crack up.]
Kitty: Hey you guys! Like what's so funny!?
Rogue: Ha ha ha! Feel a draft Kitty?! Bwa ha ha ha ha!!
Kitty: Like now that you mention it I...EEEEEEEKKKK!!! CUT! CUT!! CUT!!!
[Cut to: Hallway scene from SPEED & SPYKE, Pietro is showing off his costume to Evan, he doesn't see the spider crawing up his stomach.]
Pietro: Like the costume? Made it m'self, took about a quarter second.
Evan: OH MY GOD THERE'S A HUGE @$$ SPIDER crawling on your costume!
Pietro: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH! GETITOFF!! GETITOFF!!!
[Pietro runs around ripping at his costume trying toget rid of the spider. Cut to: Mystique and Kurt in SHADOWED PAST, Mystique has her hood up, Kurt turns to her.]
Kurt: Who are you...
[Mystique breathes heavily as she lowers her hood.]
Mystique: Kurt...(ChoooHah)...I am your mother...(ChooHahh)...
[Kurt gives Mystique a dirty look.]
Kurt: Vhas dhis trip really necessary?
[Kurt and Mystique crack up laughing. Cut to: Bobby and Sam playing catch in GROWING PAINS, Bobby makes an ice slide and the rolls of it and hits him in the nose. Everyone cracks up laughing as Bobby runs around.]
Bobby: AAAAGGGHHHHH! My nose! My beautiful nose! I'm damaged goods! Stop laughing you jerks this isn't funny!
[Cut to: Center stage, the professor's fallen asleep. A fork lift's getting Sabretooth off of Mystique. Todd sneaks out on stage and prods the professor with a stick. He snerks and wakes up.]
Professor: ...time form my changing nurse Walker?
Todd: No, time for you to introduce the next skit.
Professor: I thought I did.
Todd: Yea well do it again, only use Fuzzy's name insteada Warren yo.
[Todd slinks off stage.]
Professor: Ok...now we'll go to studio 11 where hopefully Lance, Pietro, Fred, Scott, Evan, and Kurt are ready to perform.
[Cut to: Stage with 6 mikes up. The guys are behind them, but the lights aren't on. They start clapping (in tune to IN THE NAVY) The first light shines down on Pietro dressed as in camou pants, a green hat, and black tank top. The second light shines down on Lance dressed as a construction worker. The next light shines down on Fred dressed as an indian. The next light shines down on Kurt who's dressed like a biker. The next light shines down on Scott dressed as a cowboy. The last light shines down on Evan dressed as a police man.]
Pietro, Lance, & Fred:
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
Kurt, Scott, & Evan:
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
Kurt: 1! 2! 1 2 3 ahhh!
[They stand tall and straight when the music starts, they salute the audiance. They start marching in place.]
Scott:
Where can you find pleasure
Search the world for treasure
Learn science technology
[Scott sways his arms as he marches.]
Lance:
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
[Lance adds a shuffle step as he marches.]
Evan:
Where can you learn to fly
Play in sports and skin dive
Study oceanography
[Evan shakes his hips a little.]
Pietro:
Sign up for the big band
Or sit in the grandstand
When your team and others meet
[The guys move in unison as they dance a little.]
Boys:
In the navy
Kurt:
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Boys:
In the navy
Fred:
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Boys:
In the navy
Scott:
Come on now, people, make a stand
Boys:
In the navy, in the navy
Lance:
Can't you see we need a hand
Boys:
In the navy
Evan:
Come on, protect the mother land
Boys:
In the navy
Pietro:
Come on and join your fellow man
Boys:
In the navy
Kurt:
Come on people, and make a stand
Boys:
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy
Kurt:
In the navy
[The boys clap as a ship rolls out behind them with extra characters dressed as sailors.]
Sailors:
We want you, We want you
We want you as a new recruit
Kurt:
If you like adventure
Don't you vait to enter
Dhe recruiting office fast
Fred:
Don't you hesitate
There is no need to wait
They're signing up new seamen fast
Scott:
Maybe you are too young
To join up today
Bout don't you worry 'bout a thing
Lance:
For I'm sure there will be
Always a good navy
Protecting the land and sea
[Lance and Scott hold up signal flags waving them around in synch pretending to be signing.]
Sailors:
In the navy
Kurt:
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Sailors:
In the navy
Fred:
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Sailors:
In the navy
Scott:
Come on be bold and make a stand
Sailors:
In the navy, in the navy
Lance:
Can't you see we need a hand
Sailors:
In the navy
Evan:
Come on, protect the motherland
Sailors:
In the navy
Pietro:
Come on and join your fellow man
Sailors:
In the navy
Kurt:
Come on be bold and make a stand
Sailors:
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy
Kurt:
In the navy
[The sailors leave the boat and head towards Pietro pointing at him.]
Sailors:
We want you, We want you
We want you as a new recruit
Pietro: Who me?
[The sailors grab Pietro and try to drag him to the boat. He looks nervous.]
Sailors:
We want you, We want you
We want you as a new recruit
Pietro: But! But! But! But I'm afraid of water!
[Pietro breaks free and hides behind Kurt.]
Pietro: Hey, hey look man. I get seasick even watchin' it on TV!
Sailors:
We want you, Wey want you in the navy
Pietro: Oh my goodness, what am I gonna do in a submarine?!
Sailors:
We want you, we want you in the navy
Pietro: You don't want me...You want him!
[Pietro points to Evan who shakes his head profusely and points back to Pietro.]
Pietro: On no, not me! They want you! Yea you look just like a navy man! You too!
[Pietro points to Tabitha who's manning a cannon.]
Pietro: They want you! I think they'll take females.
Scott:
Where can you find pleasure
Lance:
Search the world for treasure
Lance & Scott:
Learn science technology
Guys:
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
Kurt:
Where can you learn to fly
Fred:
Play in sports and skin dive
Kurt & Fred:
Study oceanography
Evan:
Sign up for the big band
Pietro:
Or sit in the grandstand
Evan & Pietro:
When your team and others meet
[The mini cannons on the boat shoot of sparklers and mini fireworks.]
Sailors:
In the navy
Kurt:
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Sailors:
In the navy
Fred:
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Sailors:
In the navy
Scott:
Come on be bold and make a stand
Sailors:
In the navy, in the navy
Lance:
Can't you see we need a hand
Sailors:
In the navy
Evan:
Come protect the motherland
Sailors:
In the navy
Pietro:
Come on and join your fellow man
Sailors:
In the navy
Guys:
Come on be bold and make a stand
[The boat rolls off with the sailors following. The music stops and the audiance goes wild.]
Scott: Did we get any new recruits out there!?
Kurt: Ok everybody, ve goin' to dhe Y! So get up cuz ve gotta do this right!
[The audiance stands up.]
Pietro: Get up to get down baby!
Kurt: Ready!? 1-2! 1-2-3-4!
[The music starts up.]
Evan: Alright y'all let's have some fun!
Guys: Young man!
Scott:
There's no need to feel down.
I said
Guys: Young man!
Lance:
Pick yourself off the ground.
I said
Guys: Young man!
Scott:
'Cause you're in a new town
There's no
Guys:
Need-to be-un-happy.
Guys: Young man!
Kurt:
Dhere's a place you can go.
I said
Guys: Young man!
Fred:
When you're short on your dough.
You can...
Guys: Stay there!
Kurt:
And I'm sure you will find
Many
Guys:
Ways-to have-a-good time.
[An image in the background comes up of the Xavier Institute.]
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys...
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel...
Guys: Young man!
Pietro:
Are you listening to me?
I said
Guys: Young man!
Evan:
What do you want to be?
I said
Guys: Young man!
Pietro:
You can make real your dreams.
But
Guys:
You-got to-know this-one thing!
Guys: No man!
Lance:
Does it all by himself.
I said
Guys: Young man!
Scott:
Put your pride on the shelf,
And just
Guys: Go there!
Lance:
To the y.m.c.a.
I'm sure
Guys:
They-can help-you to-day.
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys...
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel...
Guys: Young man!
Kurt:
I was once in your shoes.
I said
Guys: I was!
Scott:
Down and out with the blues.
I felt
Guys: No man!
Evan:
Cared if I were alive.
I felt
Guys:
The-whole world was-so jive...
Guys: That's when!
Fred:
Someone came up to me,
And said
Guys: Young man!
Lance:
Take a walk up the street.
There's a
Guys: Place there!
Pietro:
Called the y.m.c.a.
They can
Guys:
Start-you back on-your way.
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys...
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
You'll find it at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
You'll find it at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
Young man, young man, I was once in your shoes.
Young man, young man, I was down with the blues.
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
Just go to the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
Young man, young man, are you listening to me?
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?
[The song winds down and the audiance cheers wildly. Cut to: Mystique spraying herself with Lysol while the professor claps.]
Mystique: Smelly smelly smelly...!
Professor: Bravo! What a performance! So Jean how's our tally so far.
Jean: MMMmmm, remind me to tell Scott to save that cowboy outfit. As you can see we've hit $537,921.50. WOW! That'sa lot!
Professor: Yes it is, coming up dislexic serial killers that want to adopt!
Mystique: When we come back from this commercial break.
[Cut to commercial!]
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ok, guys I'm at a crossroads. I'm starting to burn out on this. So depending on your response I'm eitrher gonna close this story in chapter 5 and begin a new story or I'm gonna keep this thing burnin'.
By: Nagi-Oki
Scene: Mystique and the professor talking to a very doped up Sabretooth.
Sabretooth: ...And THAT's how ya get rid of a boil.
Mystique: Thank you Sabretooth, that was...disgusting...
[He gives Mystique a big hug holding onto her, falling like dead weight.]
Mystique: Um...Sabretooth...you're too heavy, get off!
[Mystique falls to the ground with Sabretooth on top of her.]
Sabretooth: *Zzzzzzzzz...*
Mystique: AAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!! SOMEBODY GET THIS SMELLY BEHEMOTH OFF ME!!!
Professor: Awwwww...but you make such a cute couple.
[Mystique growls something indiscernable.]
Professor: And while we're getting the forklift to get Sabretooth to the sick bay let's go to Scott, Evan, Warren, Lance, Fred, and Pietro are ready and rarin' to entertain us.
OS Todd: We got a problem!
[The professor looks off stage.]
OS Kurt: Not now Toad, I've gotta call dhe tumbling chimps and find out vhere dhe hell dhey are!
OS Todd: I got Lance on the phone in studio 11. They say they ain't doin' it.
OS Kurt: VHAT!? Ok, patch him through. If it ain't von dhing, dhose idiots will be sure to screw up!
OS Lance: NOT FOR ALL THE GOLD IN WASHINGTON'S NOSE!!!
OS Kurt: Lance, I don't have time to argue mit you just do dhe skit!
OS Lance: What about my dignity and honor as a man!?
OS Todd: You pretty much gave that up when you started wearing that fruitbowl on your head, yo.
OS Kurt: Grrrrr, ok vhy don't you vant to do your cute little skit.
OS Scott: For one thing, you know I'm a bad singer...
OS Kurt: AND a bad actor, and a bad dresser, and a bad dancer, and a bad leader but dhat never stopped you before!
OS Scott: Yea but---HEY!
OS Evan: It's stupid!
OS KURT: Oh shut up Evan, after the lousy ratings YOU'RE dragging you're lucky ve even keep you around!
OS Pietro: I'm actually excited about this project.
OS Lance: No surprise on this end.
OS Pietro: Shut up Lance!
OS Fred: And Warren's gone AWOL.
OS Kurt: W H A T ! ?
OS Fred: You heard me, the flying chicken flew the coop. We need a replacement! Someone who knows the lyrics.
OS Kurt: FINE! FINE! I'll be right dhere, gimme a minute to shackle somevon else at dhe helm of dhis showboat to hell.
OS Todd: Ehem...EHem...EHEM!
OS Kurt: Some Riccola will clear dhat right up, JAMIE!
OS Todd: Jamie!?
OS Jamie: Hey Kurt what's up?
OS Kurt: Take my headsets and clipboard, you're in charge now. One of dhe boobs in studio 11 escaped so now I have to go replace him. Have dhe professor stall mit some crap or other...an outtake! Have him show an outtake, call the dhe tumbling chimps, tell dhem dhat if dhey ever vanna tumble in DHIS town ever again dhey'd better get dheir butts here SCHNELL! And call the Rockettes, tell dhem dhey're on in 30.
OS Todd: You got da Rockettes?
OS Kurt: Never underestimate dhe power of dhe fuzzy one! I'M OFF!
*BAMF*
OS Jamie: Ok people! You're on MY time now! Magneto get your stuff ready and move it to studio 9! Todd hop to it and get that outtake reel up! Professor stall, outtakes!
Professor: You do know we heard the whole thing right?
OS Jamie: You wanna explain to Kurt why we're wastin' time while he's been bustin' his hump for us!?
Professor: Touche...You know, X-Men: Evolution may cast the most talented mutant actors New Jersey has to offer. But just because they're stars doesn't mean they don't make mistakes. So here's some BLOOPERS OF THE MUTANT STARS!!!
[Cut to: Fight scene on the beach of THE CAULDRON I, Fred falls on top of Kitty. She phases through but she's naked (cue blackboxes). She wobbles around acting dizzy while the other actors crack up.]
Kitty: Hey you guys! Like what's so funny!?
Rogue: Ha ha ha! Feel a draft Kitty?! Bwa ha ha ha ha!!
Kitty: Like now that you mention it I...EEEEEEEKKKK!!! CUT! CUT!! CUT!!!
[Cut to: Hallway scene from SPEED & SPYKE, Pietro is showing off his costume to Evan, he doesn't see the spider crawing up his stomach.]
Pietro: Like the costume? Made it m'self, took about a quarter second.
Evan: OH MY GOD THERE'S A HUGE @$$ SPIDER crawling on your costume!
Pietro: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH! GETITOFF!! GETITOFF!!!
[Pietro runs around ripping at his costume trying toget rid of the spider. Cut to: Mystique and Kurt in SHADOWED PAST, Mystique has her hood up, Kurt turns to her.]
Kurt: Who are you...
[Mystique breathes heavily as she lowers her hood.]
Mystique: Kurt...(ChoooHah)...I am your mother...(ChooHahh)...
[Kurt gives Mystique a dirty look.]
Kurt: Vhas dhis trip really necessary?
[Kurt and Mystique crack up laughing. Cut to: Bobby and Sam playing catch in GROWING PAINS, Bobby makes an ice slide and the rolls of it and hits him in the nose. Everyone cracks up laughing as Bobby runs around.]
Bobby: AAAAGGGHHHHH! My nose! My beautiful nose! I'm damaged goods! Stop laughing you jerks this isn't funny!
[Cut to: Center stage, the professor's fallen asleep. A fork lift's getting Sabretooth off of Mystique. Todd sneaks out on stage and prods the professor with a stick. He snerks and wakes up.]
Professor: ...time form my changing nurse Walker?
Todd: No, time for you to introduce the next skit.
Professor: I thought I did.
Todd: Yea well do it again, only use Fuzzy's name insteada Warren yo.
[Todd slinks off stage.]
Professor: Ok...now we'll go to studio 11 where hopefully Lance, Pietro, Fred, Scott, Evan, and Kurt are ready to perform.
[Cut to: Stage with 6 mikes up. The guys are behind them, but the lights aren't on. They start clapping (in tune to IN THE NAVY) The first light shines down on Pietro dressed as in camou pants, a green hat, and black tank top. The second light shines down on Lance dressed as a construction worker. The next light shines down on Fred dressed as an indian. The next light shines down on Kurt who's dressed like a biker. The next light shines down on Scott dressed as a cowboy. The last light shines down on Evan dressed as a police man.]
Pietro, Lance, & Fred:
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
Kurt, Scott, & Evan:
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
Kurt: 1! 2! 1 2 3 ahhh!
[They stand tall and straight when the music starts, they salute the audiance. They start marching in place.]
Scott:
Where can you find pleasure
Search the world for treasure
Learn science technology
[Scott sways his arms as he marches.]
Lance:
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
[Lance adds a shuffle step as he marches.]
Evan:
Where can you learn to fly
Play in sports and skin dive
Study oceanography
[Evan shakes his hips a little.]
Pietro:
Sign up for the big band
Or sit in the grandstand
When your team and others meet
[The guys move in unison as they dance a little.]
Boys:
In the navy
Kurt:
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Boys:
In the navy
Fred:
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Boys:
In the navy
Scott:
Come on now, people, make a stand
Boys:
In the navy, in the navy
Lance:
Can't you see we need a hand
Boys:
In the navy
Evan:
Come on, protect the mother land
Boys:
In the navy
Pietro:
Come on and join your fellow man
Boys:
In the navy
Kurt:
Come on people, and make a stand
Boys:
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy
Kurt:
In the navy
[The boys clap as a ship rolls out behind them with extra characters dressed as sailors.]
Sailors:
We want you, We want you
We want you as a new recruit
Kurt:
If you like adventure
Don't you vait to enter
Dhe recruiting office fast
Fred:
Don't you hesitate
There is no need to wait
They're signing up new seamen fast
Scott:
Maybe you are too young
To join up today
Bout don't you worry 'bout a thing
Lance:
For I'm sure there will be
Always a good navy
Protecting the land and sea
[Lance and Scott hold up signal flags waving them around in synch pretending to be signing.]
Sailors:
In the navy
Kurt:
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Sailors:
In the navy
Fred:
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Sailors:
In the navy
Scott:
Come on be bold and make a stand
Sailors:
In the navy, in the navy
Lance:
Can't you see we need a hand
Sailors:
In the navy
Evan:
Come on, protect the motherland
Sailors:
In the navy
Pietro:
Come on and join your fellow man
Sailors:
In the navy
Kurt:
Come on be bold and make a stand
Sailors:
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy
Kurt:
In the navy
[The sailors leave the boat and head towards Pietro pointing at him.]
Sailors:
We want you, We want you
We want you as a new recruit
Pietro: Who me?
[The sailors grab Pietro and try to drag him to the boat. He looks nervous.]
Sailors:
We want you, We want you
We want you as a new recruit
Pietro: But! But! But! But I'm afraid of water!
[Pietro breaks free and hides behind Kurt.]
Pietro: Hey, hey look man. I get seasick even watchin' it on TV!
Sailors:
We want you, Wey want you in the navy
Pietro: Oh my goodness, what am I gonna do in a submarine?!
Sailors:
We want you, we want you in the navy
Pietro: You don't want me...You want him!
[Pietro points to Evan who shakes his head profusely and points back to Pietro.]
Pietro: On no, not me! They want you! Yea you look just like a navy man! You too!
[Pietro points to Tabitha who's manning a cannon.]
Pietro: They want you! I think they'll take females.
Scott:
Where can you find pleasure
Lance:
Search the world for treasure
Lance & Scott:
Learn science technology
Guys:
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
Kurt:
Where can you learn to fly
Fred:
Play in sports and skin dive
Kurt & Fred:
Study oceanography
Evan:
Sign up for the big band
Pietro:
Or sit in the grandstand
Evan & Pietro:
When your team and others meet
[The mini cannons on the boat shoot of sparklers and mini fireworks.]
Sailors:
In the navy
Kurt:
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
Sailors:
In the navy
Fred:
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
Sailors:
In the navy
Scott:
Come on be bold and make a stand
Sailors:
In the navy, in the navy
Lance:
Can't you see we need a hand
Sailors:
In the navy
Evan:
Come protect the motherland
Sailors:
In the navy
Pietro:
Come on and join your fellow man
Sailors:
In the navy
Guys:
Come on be bold and make a stand
[The boat rolls off with the sailors following. The music stops and the audiance goes wild.]
Scott: Did we get any new recruits out there!?
Kurt: Ok everybody, ve goin' to dhe Y! So get up cuz ve gotta do this right!
[The audiance stands up.]
Pietro: Get up to get down baby!
Kurt: Ready!? 1-2! 1-2-3-4!
[The music starts up.]
Evan: Alright y'all let's have some fun!
Guys: Young man!
Scott:
There's no need to feel down.
I said
Guys: Young man!
Lance:
Pick yourself off the ground.
I said
Guys: Young man!
Scott:
'Cause you're in a new town
There's no
Guys:
Need-to be-un-happy.
Guys: Young man!
Kurt:
Dhere's a place you can go.
I said
Guys: Young man!
Fred:
When you're short on your dough.
You can...
Guys: Stay there!
Kurt:
And I'm sure you will find
Many
Guys:
Ways-to have-a-good time.
[An image in the background comes up of the Xavier Institute.]
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys...
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel...
Guys: Young man!
Pietro:
Are you listening to me?
I said
Guys: Young man!
Evan:
What do you want to be?
I said
Guys: Young man!
Pietro:
You can make real your dreams.
But
Guys:
You-got to-know this-one thing!
Guys: No man!
Lance:
Does it all by himself.
I said
Guys: Young man!
Scott:
Put your pride on the shelf,
And just
Guys: Go there!
Lance:
To the y.m.c.a.
I'm sure
Guys:
They-can help-you to-day.
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys...
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel...
Guys: Young man!
Kurt:
I was once in your shoes.
I said
Guys: I was!
Scott:
Down and out with the blues.
I felt
Guys: No man!
Evan:
Cared if I were alive.
I felt
Guys:
The-whole world was-so jive...
Guys: That's when!
Fred:
Someone came up to me,
And said
Guys: Young man!
Lance:
Take a walk up the street.
There's a
Guys: Place there!
Pietro:
Called the y.m.c.a.
They can
Guys:
Start-you back on-your way.
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
It's fun to stay at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys...
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
You'll find it at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
You'll find it at the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
Young man, young man, I was once in your shoes.
Young man, young man, I was down with the blues.
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Kurt:
Just go to the
[Pietro makes a 'Y', Lance makes a 'M', Fred makes a 'C', amd Scott makes an 'A'.]
Pietro:
Y
Lance:
M
Fred:
C
Scott:
A
Evan:
Young man, young man, are you listening to me?
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?
[The song winds down and the audiance cheers wildly. Cut to: Mystique spraying herself with Lysol while the professor claps.]
Mystique: Smelly smelly smelly...!
Professor: Bravo! What a performance! So Jean how's our tally so far.
Jean: MMMmmm, remind me to tell Scott to save that cowboy outfit. As you can see we've hit $537,921.50. WOW! That'sa lot!
Professor: Yes it is, coming up dislexic serial killers that want to adopt!
Mystique: When we come back from this commercial break.
[Cut to commercial!]
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ok, guys I'm at a crossroads. I'm starting to burn out on this. So depending on your response I'm eitrher gonna close this story in chapter 5 and begin a new story or I'm gonna keep this thing burnin'.