ALANNA
I felt like I was going to be sick. I hadn't slept at all since the Visser's death and I had the strange awareness that comes with functioning with no sleep.
"You don't know me, so don't try to judge me," I spat, disgusted.
"And you don't know us," Jake said coldly, being the strong leader, but I felt his weakness. I had seen it, too, and I understood him more than he knew. Pain doesn't go away once you heal- the memory stays. The mind was designed to be that way to help us. After all, we would hurt ourselves if we kept doing things that hurt. If we didn't remember that intense pain that comes from, say, a burn, we might forget, and get ourselves burnt again. But that nice, neat survival trick hinders us too, because it makes us afraid. Very afraid.
But I couldn't say this to them. They wouldn't get it. How could they? They were only human.
"Alanna, what do you want?" Marco asked. "You got your revenge."
I jerked up my head angrily, glaring at him. "Oh, yes, that makes everything better, doesn't it. Revenge doesn't change the past, it never will! So get over it!" I cried, spinning around to face the Andalite. He looked up for the first time, his tail arching dangerously.
(It was my duty to kill him! He killed my brother.)
"Yes, well, you could even say he killed mine too. But killing the Visser won't bring him back."
"I thought Alexxen was your brother," Cassie said gently.
Leave it to Cassie to try to wheedle things out of me. "He is, but not-" I shook my head. Too many thoughts. Too many bickering, contradicting thoughts. I didn't need Cassie to try to be my psychiatrist- I could work it out on my own. "He is. And that's why I know that you can't beat him. Not without my help."
(Your help?) the bird known as Tobias asked, surprised. (You want to- why?)
I laughed. "I've always worked better on the losing team. It's just so dull when there's no challenge to it. The Yeerks want to wipe you out- and they probably will. But if they did, they'd find me anyway, wherever I would try to hide on this godforsaken planet. As long as I'm stuck here, I might as well try to fight for it."
(We don't need your help,) the Andalite said angrily. I laughed again, and it only made him madder.
"Do you have any idea who I am?" I asked. "I am the part of the brain in every sentient being that is full of untapped, unused potential. I am the counterpart of my brother's strength- I am the brains of the family, you could say I am the genius."
"What?" Rachel asked.
I gave her a look. "Don't you get it? He's the brawn, I'm the brains."
"I hate to be the one to say it, but I think strength has a little better chance than brain power," Marco said.
I rolled my eyes. "Your one to talk. You're a human, a ruler of this planet. You think you got that way because of your big, strong muscles? Look at your competition- tigers, wolves, all the animals you morph. But humans rule because of their brains." I sucked in a big breath of air. "And God forbid, I'm here to help make sure you don't get knocked off the food chain. I can give you more information about Alexxen, the Yeerks than you'll ever need. I just want one thing in return."
"I knew it," Rachel snapped. "What?"
I smiled at her, stretching my arms out disarmingly. "Give me the power to morph and let me fight."
It was perfect. The idea- at least it was in my head. The morphing power would give me the one thing I wanted most in the world-
The power to fight.
I felt like I was going to be sick. I hadn't slept at all since the Visser's death and I had the strange awareness that comes with functioning with no sleep.
"You don't know me, so don't try to judge me," I spat, disgusted.
"And you don't know us," Jake said coldly, being the strong leader, but I felt his weakness. I had seen it, too, and I understood him more than he knew. Pain doesn't go away once you heal- the memory stays. The mind was designed to be that way to help us. After all, we would hurt ourselves if we kept doing things that hurt. If we didn't remember that intense pain that comes from, say, a burn, we might forget, and get ourselves burnt again. But that nice, neat survival trick hinders us too, because it makes us afraid. Very afraid.
But I couldn't say this to them. They wouldn't get it. How could they? They were only human.
"Alanna, what do you want?" Marco asked. "You got your revenge."
I jerked up my head angrily, glaring at him. "Oh, yes, that makes everything better, doesn't it. Revenge doesn't change the past, it never will! So get over it!" I cried, spinning around to face the Andalite. He looked up for the first time, his tail arching dangerously.
(It was my duty to kill him! He killed my brother.)
"Yes, well, you could even say he killed mine too. But killing the Visser won't bring him back."
"I thought Alexxen was your brother," Cassie said gently.
Leave it to Cassie to try to wheedle things out of me. "He is, but not-" I shook my head. Too many thoughts. Too many bickering, contradicting thoughts. I didn't need Cassie to try to be my psychiatrist- I could work it out on my own. "He is. And that's why I know that you can't beat him. Not without my help."
(Your help?) the bird known as Tobias asked, surprised. (You want to- why?)
I laughed. "I've always worked better on the losing team. It's just so dull when there's no challenge to it. The Yeerks want to wipe you out- and they probably will. But if they did, they'd find me anyway, wherever I would try to hide on this godforsaken planet. As long as I'm stuck here, I might as well try to fight for it."
(We don't need your help,) the Andalite said angrily. I laughed again, and it only made him madder.
"Do you have any idea who I am?" I asked. "I am the part of the brain in every sentient being that is full of untapped, unused potential. I am the counterpart of my brother's strength- I am the brains of the family, you could say I am the genius."
"What?" Rachel asked.
I gave her a look. "Don't you get it? He's the brawn, I'm the brains."
"I hate to be the one to say it, but I think strength has a little better chance than brain power," Marco said.
I rolled my eyes. "Your one to talk. You're a human, a ruler of this planet. You think you got that way because of your big, strong muscles? Look at your competition- tigers, wolves, all the animals you morph. But humans rule because of their brains." I sucked in a big breath of air. "And God forbid, I'm here to help make sure you don't get knocked off the food chain. I can give you more information about Alexxen, the Yeerks than you'll ever need. I just want one thing in return."
"I knew it," Rachel snapped. "What?"
I smiled at her, stretching my arms out disarmingly. "Give me the power to morph and let me fight."
It was perfect. The idea- at least it was in my head. The morphing power would give me the one thing I wanted most in the world-
The power to fight.