"You're the Last Thing On My Mind"
By Meddy
Note: any I-man characters don't belong to me. Just usin' 'em as players on my mind's little stage.
~~~
Man, I'm tired.
Clock says 11:02, but... don't think that I changed it after daylight savings time turned over. That was four months ago.
Been driving for hours. Just had to have a job where I have friends I haven't seen in years. The job took all night, hung out all day... Used to do it all the time in my couple of college years and then go to classes. Gettin' old... Bet everyone else is at home, snug in their beds ... warm ...
Dangit, Darien, stay awake.
Brr...
Hope no one saw that -- I'm sure they'd phone a Chipper to come and investigate a car driving down the highway with a driver with no head.
But it kinda did the trick. The QS is more cold than opening my window. Eh, think I'll do it anyway.
The ocean... smells so great right now. I know I've smelled this thousands of times, but each time it's something new. The snap of the salt in damp, musky air always brings up happy memories somehow.
Yeah... just love drivin' down the Five...
~~~
Driving home to be with you
The highway's dividing, the city's in view
As usual, I'm almost on time
~~~
11:50. Bet I'm gonna be late tomorrow morning. Hehe... Hobbes is gonna have a fun time explaining why I'm not in once again. Well... at least this time I'm not just being a lazy-ass. I would have a legitimate excuse for oversleeping. Funny.
*yawn...* Sleep is a nice thing... too bad it takes a good 4 hours to get home from Santa Barbara. Well... more like 3 the way I drive. Maybe I should'a just stayed the night... but if I don't get into work tomorrow morning the 'Fish'll notice I used up company time for my own frolicking... damn dependence on money... Anyway, I'll be home soon enough.
Yeah... Bobby's poppin his before-bed pills right now... checking his gun to make sure he has a clip in it and one in his jacket pocket for the morning. Dude is loaded for bear, but he's such a load of mush when it comes to people he cares about...
Light fog on the downtown; can see it from here. Wonder if I'll be hitting traffic at all...
Bobby Hobbes... never met another guy quite like him; just one of those once-in-a-lifetime friendships you come across.
Never had a best friend before. He trusts me, and so I trust him. I never had anyone trust me before, so I never had anyplace to give it back. Damned true to himself too... tho, I could see when I almost got him that job back with the FIBs that he was tempted. Hey, what are friends for?
*yaaaawn...* Yeah... and he'll get over that I asked Claire out. Hehe. Can't wait for Wednesday.
Think I'll take her to Barbarella over in La Jolla; she seems like she might like the deep friend veggies, since she's so into the Chinese kind, I think that Californian/French would be good.
Maybe some dancing afterwards. Then home. Unless she wants ... naah... I'll be a good boy. None'a that stuff ... just gonna be a nice date.
But hey, if my comely Keepie wants a goodnight kiss, then...
Who woulda thought the doctor would date her lab rat...
City's gettin' closer...
Bobby 'n Claire... my two best friends...
~~~
You're the last thing that's on my mind
I wish I could tell you the way that I feel
But tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel
~~~
I can see their faces... I'm home!
Claire's kissing me, Bobby's pissed. Haha.
No mission today, just relax.
We're gonna take a picnic at the beach.
Brought a frisbee for Claire's pooch,
Brought Alex along to keep Hobbes busy.
Who ever would of thought
My world of chaos could bring joy?
Whirling chaos...
Like everything is flipping upside-down...
Flying through the air...
~~~
No commotion, no screaming brakes
Most of it's over before I awake
From the ceiling, my coffee cup drips
While out my window, the horizon does flips
The worst part was hitting the ground -
Not the feeling so much as the sound
Can't help but wonder if all this is real
Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel
~~~
*CRASH*
*CRUNCH*
*RUMBLE*
*whrrr......*
Wha...?
Oh God... what... where...?
This can't be happening. Pinch me... I have to be dreaming...
Dreaming... fell asleep... No!
It'll be okay... just gotta relax. What would Bobby do? He'd shoot something... I don't know what good that does me here.... Claire... she's the doctor. I'm still awake; that's good. Can't move, on my side in flipped-over now on-side car; bad.
There goes my insurance...
Can't feel much. God, I can't believe I did this... never even been in a traffic accident, even with Hobbes' driving...
I can hear my heartbeat in my ears.
Is that bad?
Think I see a couple of cars stopped ahead of me... God, I'm an idiot! How could I fall asleep? Well... I sure am awake right now. Stupid, stupid...
Guy on a cell phone; can just hardly make him out. It's so dark here on the side of the road. Funny thing; I usually hate drivers who blab on their cells while on the road ... now, I'm kinda grateful...
Ugh... now I'm feeling it... feeling something. Delayed pain is always so charming. The adrenaline must be going down a bit... hey... wonder if I QSed while the car was flippin' over? Man... I hurt all over... Amazing, tho, that I didn't hit my head... for once it's the only thing that isn't bothering me.
Shit, the gland.
Glad I'm awake... I can tell them to call Claire so she can make sure they don't find anything they're not supposed to at the hospital.
~~~
Rubberneck traffic and passersby
And Slow Motion Walter the fire engine guy
Stand around with their mouths open wide
I heard some idiot ask if someone's inside
~~~
I know it's only been minutes, but things seem to feel like an eternity here when you're trapped in your broken car that you've so wonderfully driven off of the road because you were too much of a moron to know when not to be driving. The emergency crew is here...
I'm gettin' sleepy again too.
Really wish I could turn invisible right now... Just want them all to stop staring at me. Yes, I'm a moron. Yes, I'm causing rubberneck traffic. Yes, I'm in a very bad spot. But you don't need to stare... God, I promise I'll never go and chase another fire engine to watch a house burn down again! Even the paramedics are staring...
It can't be that bad?
They seem to've noticed that I'm awake still. Good; maybe they'll get their asses in gear and get me out.
Damn... don't shine that in my freakin' eyes. I still can hardly see what sort of mess I'm in. Ngh...
Ow...
Damn...
I'm not trying to move again. Shit, that hurt. Wish I had head trauma just so I wouldn't have to feel my body turning into one giant bruise.
They're getting something over here; I know the car's weight is on top of this door, since I'm lying right on it... maybe the other one is mangled too.
Crap.
~~~
With the Jaws of Life they tried and they tried
~~~
The cracked windshield's getting pried off... it's not coming easy. I can hear 'em talking out there more, too.
There's a light shining down, one of those big halogens they use during freeway construction. Hurts my eyes again.
There's a hole in there big enough for me to reach through now. Ugh... there's a sharper pain coming from somewhere on me... gonna need Claire.
"Hey kid, how are you doing in there?"
Paramedic just yelled at me through the hole.
"I'm kinda hurting," damn, my voice sounds hoarse, "I need you to call someone for me... medical condition..."
It takes all my strength when I finally decide that I need to move my arm. Feeling for my wallet, with my shield and emergency number for Claire.
Something's wet and warm. Slick.
It'll all be OK if I can just get them to call Claire... wonderful Claire. She and Hobbes are gonna be waiting for me when I get to the hospital.
I watch my own hand pass my wallet through the hole in the window to the waiting paramedic. It's dripping wet.
Aw, Crap.
~~~
Nobody here can know how I feel
Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel
~~~
So here I am... listening to the sound of the compressor ever-so-slowly prying off the roof and window of my car.
Getting tired.
Thought I was just sleepy again... I mean, I was tired enough to run my car flying off the highway, so why not be tired enough to fall asleep while in excruciating pain?
Things have been looking up, haven't they? Was it a little too good?
No QSM. Friends all back together at the Agency. Heck, having friends at all.
I love them.
Why am I getting so mushy and reflective? What is this?
Damn it.
I know why. I need to see, now that there's light, now that the pain has a pulsating origin. I need to see.
Crap.
~~~
I guess it's over now
Cause I've never seen so much
Never seen so much,
never seen so much
Never seen so much,
never seen so much
I guess it's over now
Cause I've never seen so much
Never seen so much,
never seen so much
Never seen so much,
never seen so much
blood
~~~
Damn it. Damn it.
I can hear them breaking a bigger hole in the car... but it's no use.
Just gonna lay my head down right here against the cool glass.
Dying does feel a lot like going to sleep. Somehow, the pain's leaving me, even after I saw the huge hole gaping through where my stomach is supposed to be. I feel a strange comfort just relaxing my trembling, beaten body against what's left of my car.
Clock's still on: 12:05. Guess dying doesn't take very long, either.
At least I can have an open-casket, since my face wasn't hurt. But does that make it any easier?
Funny thing. Never would've felt bad before about leaving people behind, worrying about them missing me. Hell, I'm gonna miss them.
Hobbes is gonna have to break in a new partner. Gonna miss hanging with him, our banter, watching chicks, teasing Ebes...
Sorry, Claire... I really wanted to take you out... Bobby won't have to get over me sweepin' you off your feet. Hope you guys take care of each other...
If I could only tell you.
Man, this sucks.
I'll be waiting for you.....
....
~~~
In all the confusion, there's something serene
I'm just a posthumous part of the scene
Now I'm floating above looking in
As the radio blares and wheels spin
~~~
"Kid, wake up! Can't we crack this thing open any faster?"
"Sorry, but it's really mangled..."
"If I can just reach his neck... dammit... no pulse."
"We're almost there."
Sorry guys... he's not there. I'm right here. Above you. Wow, I can see all this now. I don't know how I'm seeing anything, because I don't seem to have a body anymore. It's... kinda cool.
Can really see my car now. Shit. Must've rolled it over at least four times, and spun... facing the oncoming traffic. The wheels are still spinning, the engine's smoking a little.
"I'm going in, give me the triage box..."
"Aw man..."
"Shit... ripped right through his abdomen..."
"Hey, called that number he gave us. His MD wants to know his condition."
"We could try the defibrillator, but... God... there's too much blood loss, and that wound's just... damn it."
"Well?"
"I'm calling it... can't do anything more. Time of death, 23:15."
Intense. Never imagined I'd be watching them calling my own death time. Poor Claire, gets to be the first one to hear...
"...And in our late-night traffic check for those of you headed into the downtown, all freeways are clear, except for the Five where there is a slowdown due to an accident... one car involved, emergency crews suspect that there is a fatality. Should be clear before the morning rush. In other news..."
Aw, I made it onto the radio.
Feeling this odd pull on me, pulling me away to safety...
Just need one last look...
~~~
I can see my face slump with a grin
And you...
you're the last thing on my mind
~~~
There I am. There I was. I am kinda smiling a bit, aren't I?
Never quite imagined myself dying in such a mundane way. But I know that it happens this way all the time to people ... why should I have been an exception?
But at least... at least I got to have a good time in my life -- a worthwhile time. Maybe that's why I'm still smiling. Maybe that's why now... it doesn't hurt to go.
I had you both, and I'm glad I did.
Thanks, guys. Love you both... gotta go.
~~~
You're the last thing on my mind
~~~
Fin.
((This fic was done to the words of "Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep at the Wheel" by Barenaked Ladies off of their most recent album, Maroon. From the first time I heard it, I knew I had to write a fic to it. I supposed I could have used anyone in it, but it kinda fit for my poor baby Darien, so I let him have it in a fic.))