Part 12
"Hey Tai, there's someone at the door for you," Chrissy bellowed as she returned to the couch. "Have a seat," she offered the stranger, holding out her bowl of popcorn as she stared fixedly at the TV set.
"Who is it?" he yelled from somewhere back in the apartment, and Matt could faintly hear the shower running.
"How should I know?" Chrissy yelled the question without turning her head.
"I'll be out in a minute." Matt heard the clank of pipes as the water was shut off.
"I can come back later if this is a bad time."
"He'll be out in a minute," Chrissy said in a vague manner that suggested she wasn't parting any of her attention from the black and white horror movie on the TV set then she had to.
Matt shifted, wanting both to leave and stay just long enough to see Tai again, just for one second. He nearly turned and ran out but Tai emerged.
"Give me a minute and I'll, be…" he stopped mid-sentence and froze, looking horrified. He stood there for a minute, water droplets trailing down his body, clad in only a white terry towel.
"What's wrong Tai?" Chrissy asked turning when she heard him trail off. "Maybe you should leave," she told him, advancing towards him.
"Why are you here?" Tai asked, sounding choked.
"I, uh, brought you this, house warming gift," Matt said shoving a box in Tai's general direction, rubbing the back of his neck, trying not to stare at Tai's lithely muscled body.
"You shouldn't be here," Tai managed to force out past the obstacle in his throat.
"But I am." It was a simple sentence, and there was a brief silence following it, almost as if he announced some tragedy. Maybe he had.
"You want me to make him leave?" Chrissy asked Tai protectively. Tai shook his head wordlessly and Chrissy disappeared into her bedroom to give them privacy.
"Maybe you should get dressed," Matt suggested, swallowing thickly, having difficulty keeping his gaze fixed on Tai's face.
"What do you want?" Tai asked, half sighing as he resisted the urge to throw himself into Matt's arms.
"I wanted to see you," Matt said, looking a little shocked as the words left his mouth. He had only meant to say talk, he didn't want Tai to know how badly he was hurting.
"You shouldn't be here," Tai repeated, feeling the bitter sting of tears in the corners of his eyes, and he struggled to keep them at bay, at least until Matt had left. He couldn't let Matt know how badly he needed him, he couldn't let Matt see how badly he was hurting.
"Why not? Can't I just wish you luck with your new apartment?"
"No, Matt. We, we're not friends anymore, we can't just hang out whenever we feel like it. It doesn't work like that."
"Why can't be still be friends at least? We were friends years before we started going out."
"It's not that easy,' Tai said, struggling not to yell, to shout out his frustration. Matt made a sour face and advanced towards Tai, getting just close enough for Tai to take hold of the box.
Matt winced as his fingers brushed against Tai's, feeling the familiar tug of longing. He wanted nothing more then to crush Tai to him and smother the boy in kisses. It didn't help that the towel anchored around Tai's waist looked like it could slip off at any second.
Matt quickly retreated to his earlier place, knowing that if he didn't move Tai would. Tai gazed at the box for a minute, with sorrow filled eyes, but didn't open it. After a minute he looked back up at Matt, and he didn't know what to do.
"If you want me to leave, just say it, I'll walk out and never come back," Matt said, forcing the words out, praying fervently that Tai wouldn't say yes. Try as he might Tai couldn't say yes, he knew it was the smart answer, that it would probably stave off future pain. He just couldn't force the syllable out.
"I need to get dressed," Tai said, obviously evading the question hanging between them. Tai retreated quickly to his room, but Matt strode after him, stopping him before he got through the door.
"Tai," Matt said on a shuddering breath, wrapping his arms around Tai, pressing himself against Tai's back. Tai's nearly naked form started to shiver, and the tears he had suppressed so long leapt to his eyes. "Tai, please."
Tai broke away from his grip and walked to stand in front of the window, biting his lip fiercely, his arms wrapped around himself tightly. He spent a second trying to regulate his breathing, and somehow managed to force out a sentence.
"Leave so I can get dressed."
"Tai," Matt started to protest, but Tai cut him off with a vicious wave of his hand.
"Don't, Matt. Just let me pull on some damn pants." Matt shut the bedroom door but didn't leave, though Tai didn't realize it. Tai sank to the floor, his entire form shaking harshly.
Matt dropped to his knees behind Tai and pressed a kiss to the back of Tai's neck.
"Tai, please, come back to me," Matt begged wrapping his arms around Tai in both a lovers embrace and a consoling hug.
"It wouldn't work," Tai spat out, but he didn't pull away from Matt, which the later took as a good sign.
"Why not?"
"Because I couldn't trust you," Tai said brokenly.
"We can just forget about that, or work around it, but please, I don't think I can live without you Tai. Please."
"Why do you want this? All that'll happen is I'll end up doing something that will hurt the both of us."
"As long as the both of us are hurting then there's still love and we can get through it." Tai was silent, leaning back against Matt, the fight draining out of his body. "Tai, please, I love you. Come back home."
"I live here now," Tai said weakly. "I can't just abandon Chrissy, I help her pay the rent."
"You've been here five days Tai. I'm sure she can find someone else to move in here and help her out instead. If you really have to you can live here I guess. But that doesn't mean we can't see each other anymore."
Tai placed one of his hands on Matt's, looking at there intertwined fingers, realizing Matt was still wearing the slim gold band Tai had given him when he had proposed.
"Tai," Matt said, choking on his own tears, not yet willing to accept that Tai might not go back to him. He had known it when he had come to the apartment, but then he had seen that Tai was in as much pain as he was, and he had thought Tai would be willing to end both their pain. But Tai was stubborn and he might decide it wasn't worth it to risk all the pain again if something else happened.
Tai's breath hitched and he detached himself from Matt's arms. He looked around the room, seeming a little dazed and grabbed a pair of jeans. Matt stood to leave as Tai pulled them on.
"Can't have Chrissy walking in here if my towel falls off or anything," Tai said, still sounding a little shaky despite the light tone he was shooting for.
"That'd be terrible," Matt said licking his dry lips, still unsure if Tai wanted him gone or not.
Tai took the few steps to stand in front of the blond and just looked at him for a minute.
"Do you still want to marry me?" he asked.
"Of course."
Tai's face light up in a brilliant smile and he threw his arms around Matt's neck, hugging him tightly.
"Hey Tai, there's someone at the door for you," Chrissy bellowed as she returned to the couch. "Have a seat," she offered the stranger, holding out her bowl of popcorn as she stared fixedly at the TV set.
"Who is it?" he yelled from somewhere back in the apartment, and Matt could faintly hear the shower running.
"How should I know?" Chrissy yelled the question without turning her head.
"I'll be out in a minute." Matt heard the clank of pipes as the water was shut off.
"I can come back later if this is a bad time."
"He'll be out in a minute," Chrissy said in a vague manner that suggested she wasn't parting any of her attention from the black and white horror movie on the TV set then she had to.
Matt shifted, wanting both to leave and stay just long enough to see Tai again, just for one second. He nearly turned and ran out but Tai emerged.
"Give me a minute and I'll, be…" he stopped mid-sentence and froze, looking horrified. He stood there for a minute, water droplets trailing down his body, clad in only a white terry towel.
"What's wrong Tai?" Chrissy asked turning when she heard him trail off. "Maybe you should leave," she told him, advancing towards him.
"Why are you here?" Tai asked, sounding choked.
"I, uh, brought you this, house warming gift," Matt said shoving a box in Tai's general direction, rubbing the back of his neck, trying not to stare at Tai's lithely muscled body.
"You shouldn't be here," Tai managed to force out past the obstacle in his throat.
"But I am." It was a simple sentence, and there was a brief silence following it, almost as if he announced some tragedy. Maybe he had.
"You want me to make him leave?" Chrissy asked Tai protectively. Tai shook his head wordlessly and Chrissy disappeared into her bedroom to give them privacy.
"Maybe you should get dressed," Matt suggested, swallowing thickly, having difficulty keeping his gaze fixed on Tai's face.
"What do you want?" Tai asked, half sighing as he resisted the urge to throw himself into Matt's arms.
"I wanted to see you," Matt said, looking a little shocked as the words left his mouth. He had only meant to say talk, he didn't want Tai to know how badly he was hurting.
"You shouldn't be here," Tai repeated, feeling the bitter sting of tears in the corners of his eyes, and he struggled to keep them at bay, at least until Matt had left. He couldn't let Matt know how badly he needed him, he couldn't let Matt see how badly he was hurting.
"Why not? Can't I just wish you luck with your new apartment?"
"No, Matt. We, we're not friends anymore, we can't just hang out whenever we feel like it. It doesn't work like that."
"Why can't be still be friends at least? We were friends years before we started going out."
"It's not that easy,' Tai said, struggling not to yell, to shout out his frustration. Matt made a sour face and advanced towards Tai, getting just close enough for Tai to take hold of the box.
Matt winced as his fingers brushed against Tai's, feeling the familiar tug of longing. He wanted nothing more then to crush Tai to him and smother the boy in kisses. It didn't help that the towel anchored around Tai's waist looked like it could slip off at any second.
Matt quickly retreated to his earlier place, knowing that if he didn't move Tai would. Tai gazed at the box for a minute, with sorrow filled eyes, but didn't open it. After a minute he looked back up at Matt, and he didn't know what to do.
"If you want me to leave, just say it, I'll walk out and never come back," Matt said, forcing the words out, praying fervently that Tai wouldn't say yes. Try as he might Tai couldn't say yes, he knew it was the smart answer, that it would probably stave off future pain. He just couldn't force the syllable out.
"I need to get dressed," Tai said, obviously evading the question hanging between them. Tai retreated quickly to his room, but Matt strode after him, stopping him before he got through the door.
"Tai," Matt said on a shuddering breath, wrapping his arms around Tai, pressing himself against Tai's back. Tai's nearly naked form started to shiver, and the tears he had suppressed so long leapt to his eyes. "Tai, please."
Tai broke away from his grip and walked to stand in front of the window, biting his lip fiercely, his arms wrapped around himself tightly. He spent a second trying to regulate his breathing, and somehow managed to force out a sentence.
"Leave so I can get dressed."
"Tai," Matt started to protest, but Tai cut him off with a vicious wave of his hand.
"Don't, Matt. Just let me pull on some damn pants." Matt shut the bedroom door but didn't leave, though Tai didn't realize it. Tai sank to the floor, his entire form shaking harshly.
Matt dropped to his knees behind Tai and pressed a kiss to the back of Tai's neck.
"Tai, please, come back to me," Matt begged wrapping his arms around Tai in both a lovers embrace and a consoling hug.
"It wouldn't work," Tai spat out, but he didn't pull away from Matt, which the later took as a good sign.
"Why not?"
"Because I couldn't trust you," Tai said brokenly.
"We can just forget about that, or work around it, but please, I don't think I can live without you Tai. Please."
"Why do you want this? All that'll happen is I'll end up doing something that will hurt the both of us."
"As long as the both of us are hurting then there's still love and we can get through it." Tai was silent, leaning back against Matt, the fight draining out of his body. "Tai, please, I love you. Come back home."
"I live here now," Tai said weakly. "I can't just abandon Chrissy, I help her pay the rent."
"You've been here five days Tai. I'm sure she can find someone else to move in here and help her out instead. If you really have to you can live here I guess. But that doesn't mean we can't see each other anymore."
Tai placed one of his hands on Matt's, looking at there intertwined fingers, realizing Matt was still wearing the slim gold band Tai had given him when he had proposed.
"Tai," Matt said, choking on his own tears, not yet willing to accept that Tai might not go back to him. He had known it when he had come to the apartment, but then he had seen that Tai was in as much pain as he was, and he had thought Tai would be willing to end both their pain. But Tai was stubborn and he might decide it wasn't worth it to risk all the pain again if something else happened.
Tai's breath hitched and he detached himself from Matt's arms. He looked around the room, seeming a little dazed and grabbed a pair of jeans. Matt stood to leave as Tai pulled them on.
"Can't have Chrissy walking in here if my towel falls off or anything," Tai said, still sounding a little shaky despite the light tone he was shooting for.
"That'd be terrible," Matt said licking his dry lips, still unsure if Tai wanted him gone or not.
Tai took the few steps to stand in front of the blond and just looked at him for a minute.
"Do you still want to marry me?" he asked.
"Of course."
Tai's face light up in a brilliant smile and he threw his arms around Matt's neck, hugging him tightly.