A Very Unwelcome Guest

"A big old fat man said: Hey u ssuck

And then the guyss was like

Wassup and we were all.."

"Shut up Pippin, you're drunk," Said a not very merry Merry. He had been awakened by a very loud part of Pippin"s story in which Merry had fallen asleep before, listening to the beginning of it.

"An' you think I don't know that?", the slurred words from Pippins mouth spluttered.

"FOR GODS SAKE PIPPIN IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP I WILL MAKE YOU SHUT UP!" Gandalf voice boomed. He had grown very tired of Pippins story and was about to smake some soberness into him when a knock came at the door.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Gandalf turned to the large oak door, and although a golden fire warmed the motel inn room the air felt a tingle of coldness creep through it.

Frodo shivered.

"I see dead people," he whispered, his breath, likened to being in a cold fog.

"I'll ge' it" said a cheerful Pippin as he staggered for the door.

"NO YOU WON'T!,"said Gandalf, grabbing onto the poor hobbits collar, and nearly choking him half to death. Gandalf suddenley became aware he was shouting. "Oops," he whispered. "Quickly put out the fire, hide underneath the beds."

Doing as their master pleaded they scurried around the room and were on the floor before the mysterious figure behind the door could say:

"I could hear you before Gandalf."

"God damn it," mumbled a dismayed Gandalf. He unlocked the door and with his most pleasant smile said, "oh, Rosemary, what a lovely surprise, good evening to you!"

"Shut up, I came here to change the…," her words were lost in the air as she layed her eyes on Sam Gamgee. Sam became uncomfortable and began searching the room with his eyes. Realising this, Rosemary started taking the sheets off the beds.

"HEY!" cried Aragorn, from atop a bed she had just taken a blanket from.

"Well, its morning, and time to get up!" Rosemary fussed.

"ITS 2AM!" Cried Aragorn.

"Oh, sorry, here."She threw a clean sheet on top of Aragorn and held it like a blankie and begun sucking his thumb.

"He does have a point you know," said Gandalf eyeing Rosemary. Rosemary looking confused, examined Aragorn in the pheotal position and scratched her head.

"Huh?"She replied

"Two o'clock in the morning! Its 2am and you're changing the sheets, are you spying on us by any chance?"

"Pleeease, like I don't have a life and want to know all your plans," she laughed. The room was silent, and everyone was looking at her suspiciously.

"Yeah, why are you here Rosemary?," appeared Merry from behind Gandalfs tall stature, "hey, you don't even work here."

"Well I……. ,I had to……., I meant to…," Rosemary looked at Sam again, Sam became scared and started whistling and looking around the room.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Two visitors in one night! What an honour!" cried Pippin, and before Gandalf could reach his furry little arse he had opened the door and bid whoever was behind it a Happy St Patricks Day by opening his coat and flashing the poor Black Rider.

"OH MY GOD!"Cried the cloaked creature as his horse bolted and ran away.

"Right, that's the last time you open the door Pippin!"  said an angry Merry who was about to slam the door when a voice from behind it yelled:

"HEY!"It was Rebecca, a long expected member of their party.

"Oh, sorree, your majesty," said a sarcastic Merry.

"I should think so," said the wood elf queen as she dusted her feet on the door mat and took off her royal cloak.

"Oh, Rosemary, hi," she said dissapointedly as she noticed her.

"REBECCA?!"Gasped Rosemary, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm part of THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGÔ"

"You promised me that you weren't going to do that sort of thing."

"Well, I lied, HEY! Where's Legolas?"She turned to Gandalf, "you promised me Legolas was gonna be here!"

"All in good time my queen," he curtsied to her, "we are on our way to Rivendell to meet with him."

"Dats cool."

"What the hell is going on here? There's no wood elf in the FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGÔ! Gandalfs not here either, now that I've mentioned it."

 "What do u expect? Jackies never actually read the entire book u know."

"Yeah I know"

THE END