A Letter To Alex…Love Maria
AUTHOR: Sunnycouger
E-MAIL ME AT: sunnycouger@yahoo.co.uk
RATING: As low as it gets without being horizontal...we'll say PG for arguments sake but probably lower.
AUTHORS NOTE: This is REALLY important people so please read!! This is based on rumours about future episodes but none of it is set in stone. If you don't want to know what these rumours are then I suggest you DON'T read this story. I don't want any of you to be spoiled.
DISCLAIMER: You all don't honestly think that I own any of this do you? Roswell and all its characters are property of Melinda Metz and Jason Katims..I just take them out to play sometimes...
DISTRIBUTION: If you want to put this story on to another site (please do!) will you please, please, PLEASE let me know first. Thanx!
SPOILERS: Based on rumours about the episodes Cry Your Name and It's Too Late And It's Too Bad. Last chance to not read it if you don't want to know!
Hi Alex,
How's it going? I can't believe I am even writing this, truth be told it's really my mom's idea, I mean come on, this is crazy even for me. She doesn't seem to think I'm handling it that well and I'll admit that at first I couldn't really deal but now? Now I think I'm doing much better…no, I KNOW I'm doing better! Anyway my mother seems to think that I would handle it a little better if I said goodbye and got a little "closure" as she puts it. Between you and me I think she's been watching too many talk shows on how to deal with...crummy life twists that occur. Whatever! So here's my goodbye..the only way I can, in a letter.
Goodbye, that's…such a strange word don't you think? The fact that you won't see anyone again shouldn't be considered "good" should it? The fact that no matter how many times you say it in your life there will never be anything harder to say than when you say it for the last time to someone. When you say goodbye forever. I've never had anything hurt as badly as having to say goodbye to you. How'd we get here Alex? How can things go from being so great to being so unbearable in the space of a minute? I mean, Michael and me were going so well and you and Isabel, well you finally got through to her didn't you? I'd never seen the pair of you so happy. I mean Alex, come on, she was actually giggling at one point..I mean Isabel? Giggling? I know it had taken a while to get through to her but when it happened for the pair of you, it really happened. Love, it's the greatest isn't it? If only it didn't cause so much pain. Michael has been the best though, I mean he has been so great. You'd be surprised, I know you would at how great he's been. You never really wanted me to be with him after the whole Courtney thing did you? You know, he told me what you did that night you found me crying at the Crashdown. You didn't let him get away with hurting me did you? Of course you didn't..you wouldn't let any of "your girls" get hurt. Loyal to a fault. Who's going to look after us now? Who is going to protect me and Liz from our guys screwing us over, who's going to make Isabel and..I guess even Tess, see how much better things are when they let themselves open up to someone? Who can ever replace you? No one, you're irreplaceable. You're too special. There will never be anyone like you!
Don't think that I'm not angry with you though Whitman! I mean...you totally screwed everything up with your "disappearing act". Our nice human to czeck ratio worked REALLY well. You know 8 people split into 3 couples, 1 going to be couple plus 1 human "protector" kinda guy. Now we're stuck, we have 7 people plus 1 human "protector" kinda guy. There's no ratio there...it just shows that the number is...odd. Odd because it shouldn't be like that, it should be..it should've stayed the same. I don't like odd..I don't like that we're different now without you, I want it to be back to normal. I want you here. We all want you here; nothing feels right without you.
Oh god, I cannot believe that I am crying to a stupid letter..don't you dare laugh Alex, it's not funny and I am still mad at you..a little anyway. Do you want to know how the others are doing? Of course you do..besides I've already started to write it so it's too late to stop me. ok...who to start with? Well, I guess it's only fair to start with Liz considering she is our best friend right? Liz, is doing ok I think. She had a hard time dealing with it at first, we all did of course but she..she had a feeling you left something important behind. She still has it and although she doesn't talk to me about it I know that she is still trying to work out how you left..and why. She'll be ok though..she has my "girlfriend" looking after her. Yeah, she and Max got back together..again. Seriously they are getting as bad as me and Michael..you know they break up, they mope, they talk about "destiny", they become "just good friends" and then they get back together before starting the whole thing over again. Max didn't take it well, you know. He blamed himself, he thought he should have been able to do something…he thought he should have been able to "fix" things. No one would have been able to fix it though, no one. As I said before Michael has surprised even me. He has been my support, I wouldn't have handled this nearly as well without him. On a plus note though, him and my mom have finally reached an understanding. My mom now knows that he isn't just using me..she knows that he loves me and that I love him. She said that he's welcome here anytime..obviously as long as it isn't in my room in the middle of the night. Kyle hasn't really talked about his feelings much, he keeps talking about the time you both were captured and you were both singing American Pie? Now, please tell me that it was Kyle's idea…please tell me that you didn't choose that song. I think he's so busy being a rock for Tess that he really hasn't been able to work on his own feelings, it's just sometimes you get a feeling that he doesn't know how to react. His dad didn't take it well either, he figures he should have "looked after" you better. He's been really protective of us all since..since you left. Tess, hasn't been doing that well. You were the first human that she really cared about to di… to leave her. She wasn't prepared for how she would feel when someone who cared about her disappeared. I don't blame her, I've had plenty of people leave but none of them made me feel like this..none of them made me feel so…empty. Isabel took it the worst, obviously, she definitely had it bad for you Alex, who would have thought you would have dated the most popular girl in school? I mean, Liz and me always knew how great you were..but Izzy? I just didn't see it happening. Anyway, she seems to be doing great now, you know she comes to school, makeup perfect and with her usual put-downs to the "lesser beings" of the school. Although Max says that he sometimes hears her crying at night and he doesn't think she's been sleeping that well. I'm sure she's doing ok though..i mean, she's Isabel, untouchable. She's fine.
Oh, I nearly forgot, I've left The Whits. No, I'm not mad, and I'm not being silly; it just didn't feel right to be there without you. It was your band remember? Truth be told, very few things feel right without you. Me and Liz talking after closing The Crashdown doesn't feel right, having lunch in the quad doesn't feel right and…and..laughing and..smiling doesn't feel right without you there. Why did you leave us Alex? Why..why can't you comeback? Why couldn't one of the aliens have a power where they twitched their noses and turned back time? Why couldn't I say goodbye?…..
I have to go Alex, Michael's here. Dammit, he's going to see me crying again. I don't know what I'm going to do with this. My mom didn't say what I should do with it. Well I wrote this for a reason right so I guess I should say it then. Ok..I love you Alex, I miss you, I'll miss you always..and I mean that and I didn't mean it when I said I was angry with you. I'm not, I swear...I never could be. I've got to go. I'll see you soon.
Love and kisses forever!
Maria
Ps…goodbye Alex...be safe until I see you again.
AUTHOR: Sunnycouger
E-MAIL ME AT: sunnycouger@yahoo.co.uk
RATING: As low as it gets without being horizontal...we'll say PG for arguments sake but probably lower.
AUTHORS NOTE: This is REALLY important people so please read!! This is based on rumours about future episodes but none of it is set in stone. If you don't want to know what these rumours are then I suggest you DON'T read this story. I don't want any of you to be spoiled.
DISCLAIMER: You all don't honestly think that I own any of this do you? Roswell and all its characters are property of Melinda Metz and Jason Katims..I just take them out to play sometimes...
DISTRIBUTION: If you want to put this story on to another site (please do!) will you please, please, PLEASE let me know first. Thanx!
SPOILERS: Based on rumours about the episodes Cry Your Name and It's Too Late And It's Too Bad. Last chance to not read it if you don't want to know!
Hi Alex,
How's it going? I can't believe I am even writing this, truth be told it's really my mom's idea, I mean come on, this is crazy even for me. She doesn't seem to think I'm handling it that well and I'll admit that at first I couldn't really deal but now? Now I think I'm doing much better…no, I KNOW I'm doing better! Anyway my mother seems to think that I would handle it a little better if I said goodbye and got a little "closure" as she puts it. Between you and me I think she's been watching too many talk shows on how to deal with...crummy life twists that occur. Whatever! So here's my goodbye..the only way I can, in a letter.
Goodbye, that's…such a strange word don't you think? The fact that you won't see anyone again shouldn't be considered "good" should it? The fact that no matter how many times you say it in your life there will never be anything harder to say than when you say it for the last time to someone. When you say goodbye forever. I've never had anything hurt as badly as having to say goodbye to you. How'd we get here Alex? How can things go from being so great to being so unbearable in the space of a minute? I mean, Michael and me were going so well and you and Isabel, well you finally got through to her didn't you? I'd never seen the pair of you so happy. I mean Alex, come on, she was actually giggling at one point..I mean Isabel? Giggling? I know it had taken a while to get through to her but when it happened for the pair of you, it really happened. Love, it's the greatest isn't it? If only it didn't cause so much pain. Michael has been the best though, I mean he has been so great. You'd be surprised, I know you would at how great he's been. You never really wanted me to be with him after the whole Courtney thing did you? You know, he told me what you did that night you found me crying at the Crashdown. You didn't let him get away with hurting me did you? Of course you didn't..you wouldn't let any of "your girls" get hurt. Loyal to a fault. Who's going to look after us now? Who is going to protect me and Liz from our guys screwing us over, who's going to make Isabel and..I guess even Tess, see how much better things are when they let themselves open up to someone? Who can ever replace you? No one, you're irreplaceable. You're too special. There will never be anyone like you!
Don't think that I'm not angry with you though Whitman! I mean...you totally screwed everything up with your "disappearing act". Our nice human to czeck ratio worked REALLY well. You know 8 people split into 3 couples, 1 going to be couple plus 1 human "protector" kinda guy. Now we're stuck, we have 7 people plus 1 human "protector" kinda guy. There's no ratio there...it just shows that the number is...odd. Odd because it shouldn't be like that, it should be..it should've stayed the same. I don't like odd..I don't like that we're different now without you, I want it to be back to normal. I want you here. We all want you here; nothing feels right without you.
Oh god, I cannot believe that I am crying to a stupid letter..don't you dare laugh Alex, it's not funny and I am still mad at you..a little anyway. Do you want to know how the others are doing? Of course you do..besides I've already started to write it so it's too late to stop me. ok...who to start with? Well, I guess it's only fair to start with Liz considering she is our best friend right? Liz, is doing ok I think. She had a hard time dealing with it at first, we all did of course but she..she had a feeling you left something important behind. She still has it and although she doesn't talk to me about it I know that she is still trying to work out how you left..and why. She'll be ok though..she has my "girlfriend" looking after her. Yeah, she and Max got back together..again. Seriously they are getting as bad as me and Michael..you know they break up, they mope, they talk about "destiny", they become "just good friends" and then they get back together before starting the whole thing over again. Max didn't take it well, you know. He blamed himself, he thought he should have been able to do something…he thought he should have been able to "fix" things. No one would have been able to fix it though, no one. As I said before Michael has surprised even me. He has been my support, I wouldn't have handled this nearly as well without him. On a plus note though, him and my mom have finally reached an understanding. My mom now knows that he isn't just using me..she knows that he loves me and that I love him. She said that he's welcome here anytime..obviously as long as it isn't in my room in the middle of the night. Kyle hasn't really talked about his feelings much, he keeps talking about the time you both were captured and you were both singing American Pie? Now, please tell me that it was Kyle's idea…please tell me that you didn't choose that song. I think he's so busy being a rock for Tess that he really hasn't been able to work on his own feelings, it's just sometimes you get a feeling that he doesn't know how to react. His dad didn't take it well either, he figures he should have "looked after" you better. He's been really protective of us all since..since you left. Tess, hasn't been doing that well. You were the first human that she really cared about to di… to leave her. She wasn't prepared for how she would feel when someone who cared about her disappeared. I don't blame her, I've had plenty of people leave but none of them made me feel like this..none of them made me feel so…empty. Isabel took it the worst, obviously, she definitely had it bad for you Alex, who would have thought you would have dated the most popular girl in school? I mean, Liz and me always knew how great you were..but Izzy? I just didn't see it happening. Anyway, she seems to be doing great now, you know she comes to school, makeup perfect and with her usual put-downs to the "lesser beings" of the school. Although Max says that he sometimes hears her crying at night and he doesn't think she's been sleeping that well. I'm sure she's doing ok though..i mean, she's Isabel, untouchable. She's fine.
Oh, I nearly forgot, I've left The Whits. No, I'm not mad, and I'm not being silly; it just didn't feel right to be there without you. It was your band remember? Truth be told, very few things feel right without you. Me and Liz talking after closing The Crashdown doesn't feel right, having lunch in the quad doesn't feel right and…and..laughing and..smiling doesn't feel right without you there. Why did you leave us Alex? Why..why can't you comeback? Why couldn't one of the aliens have a power where they twitched their noses and turned back time? Why couldn't I say goodbye?…..
I have to go Alex, Michael's here. Dammit, he's going to see me crying again. I don't know what I'm going to do with this. My mom didn't say what I should do with it. Well I wrote this for a reason right so I guess I should say it then. Ok..I love you Alex, I miss you, I'll miss you always..and I mean that and I didn't mean it when I said I was angry with you. I'm not, I swear...I never could be. I've got to go. I'll see you soon.
Love and kisses forever!
Maria
Ps…goodbye Alex...be safe until I see you again.