by Rei ^death^ himura
"Fish are stupid." Reno frowned at the bowlfish filled with small
floating/swimming/moving things. "Swimming around in an endless circle. Content
to -be- in that endless circle and not break out of it. I don't understand how
they can handle the monotone." He 'oomphed' when someone hit the back of his
head, causing the Turk-patented shades to come askew and fall upon the bridge of
his nose.
"Those aren't fish you idiot. They're sea monkeys." Tseng moved around the
redhead, clutching his bottle of beer and then sinking into the lush comforts of
the President's leather sofa.
"Mind you, don't spill." Came the stern yet playful voice of Rufus Shinra, no
longer clad in his usual eye-glaring white trenchcoat. Rather in a simple white
shirt and a pair of faded jeans. The three sat in stony silence, each
contemplating each other until they burst out in laughter.
"Fuck you Tseng. You forgot your line again." Reno howled, slapping his
thighs. The former Wutai snorted and then leaned over to grab a bounded stack of
papers. He flipped it open, thumbed a few pages and then narrowed his eyes
before glaring at Rufus.
"It's -your- line blondie."
"What?"
"Says so here."
"Clear blue... thingymabob." Read slowly in confusion. Rufus blinked and then
looked at Reno and Tseng again.
"Come wha-? Which jackass wrote this shit?" Reno was snickering. Tseng merely
had his usual blank poker-faced expression. Eyes serene and body language
relaxed.
"It was -you- wasn't it?" Rufus's sapphire-glower narrowed down to Reno, who
was futilely trying to cover his impending fit of hysterics by shoving his head
into the fishbowl. Of course, such a tactic would often spell out death by
suffocation. Thus now both Tseng and Rufus were trying to pull his flame-haired
head out of the fishbowl. Several 'glugs' or protest to be heard. Something akin
to a howl in normal human environment became a watery 'yowburble'. Rufus paused
halfway in yanking Reno by the waist, flicked the messed-up fringe and then
raised an eyebrow at Tseng holding onto the fishbowl and Reno struggling to take
the damn thing off.
"You know, my mother used to tell me this. 'If it jams, force it open.'" Reno
froze, whatever imagery his rampant mind could come up with rendering his lithe
frame still before resuming his wild frenetic attempts of forcing his head out
of the bowl. Tseng snickered.
"Flubbing afrsefole! Geft merh ouffa yerbre!!!" Rufus vanished for a moment,
appearing the next wielding a halberd. Don't ask how he got it, the Shinras are
quirky people.
One didn't know who was more terrified. The sea monkeys or Reno.
The halberd came in one felling swoop, coming into contact with the bowl...
yet not crashing it. Rufus blinked again. Tseng's left brow twitched. Reno was
getting more agitated. True, Turks were trained to hold their breath almost
longer than a normal human could. But considering his wild agitation and the
fact that Rufus -could- have smashed his face open in an attempt to save him.
Even Turks had their limits.
"FWARFH ARF FYUU?!?!?! PHURCFKING CFWAZY!??!"
"Hmm. Stage prop from last year's Christmas production. No wonder it looked
familiar." The pale-haired president shucked the prop aside and vanished again.
Meanwhile, Reno prayed. Tseng laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. Reno
prayed even harder.
The bowl cracked open like an egg, its content splashing onto the carpeted
floor; creating a damp spot. Rufus sighed, he'd have to get that cleaned. Reno
gagged, aqua-emerald eyes wide open, staring at the ground and the fast-fading
sea monkeys in disbelief. Tseng shrugged and returned to his couch, watching the
follow-up scene with feigned disinterest.
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU COULD HAVE SPLIT MY FACE IN TWO! WHAT WERE YOU
THINKING?!"
"Making use of my mother's advice. It did the job didn't it? At least you're
not drowning like my poor sea monkeys. Which reminds me, you owe me another
set."
"WHAT?!"
"Hmm... I'd throw in the wonderland version. They've got different coloured
tanks too..." Thus the camera pans away, showing a half-enraged and
half-bewildered (and very drenched) Reno about to clobber a calculatuve Rufus as
Tseng leans back in the sofa and gives a trademark snicker.
-END-