Deep Dark Secret
Chapter 2 - Her Problem
"Promise me Michiru!!" Haruka's voice was more stern, and a bit louder this time.
Michiru looked down at the ground, unable to force herself to look at her best friend. "I promise." she would have done or said anything to stay one of this girl's only friends. She needed her, she felt that she was the only one that she could
be herself with. "The bell's about to ring in a few minutes, why don't we go ahead and leave?" shock of the sights on her arms was still registering in her mind. She was afraid that her friend would do something to seriously hurt herself, or possibly worse...
The rest of the day, thoughts of Haruka's arms, the pain that she must have been feeling, it was eating away at Michiru. She wanted to scream out that she loved Haruka. That Haruka was her best friend. That she cared about Haruka. That she didn't want anything to happen to Haruka. Yet, she stayed quiet. She didn't want to lose her friendship with her. To Michiru, friendship was more important than anything in the world. And without Haruka's friendship she wouldn't know what she would do.
"Michiru." she heard her name whispered from behind her.
She looked up to make sure the teacher was facing the board before she turned around.
"It's from Haruka." the famale student behind her handed her a note.
"Thanks." she took the note and quickly turned around in her seat before she was yelled at by her cranky teacher. Hiding the letter under the desk, she slowly unfolded it, trying not to make too much noise.
Michiru,
Let me explain. Well, I can't really explain why I cut. But I do. I make at least one cut a night. If I get yelled at by my dad, it's sometimes two or three, four of five cuts. The most I've made at one time was 15. They were all small and deep. I make them all small, that way they can be easily hidden.
You see, my feelings are messed up. I'm just so confused. I don't care how much suffering I cause everyone, as long as I satisfy myself, and ease my own pain and release anguish. Now that you know, I don't care how much suffering I cause to you.
As you and the rest of this god forsaken school know, I'm a lesbian. I just wanted you to know that...I love you. And I know that it is beyond hope to even imagine you feeling the same for me, but I just had to let you know, I couldn't keep it inside any longer
Haruka
Michiru folded the letter in half and ran out of the room, silent tears streaming down her face. Those who had passed the letter from one side of the room to the other looked at Haruka.
"Dammit." she mumbled to herself, loud enough for some to hear. Heads snapped to look at the angry girl as she stood from her seat at the back table and followed Michiru's lead, ignoring the teacher's question, and glares from other students.
Memories flooded into Michiru's head as she slid down to the floor against one of the lockers, crying. Crying over what the letter said. Crying over the fact that Haruka didn't care. And crying because Haruka loved her. Haruka was so confusing. But she still didn't understand her feelings for Haruka so she cryed because Haruka loved her and she didn't know what to make of it.
She was remembering all the good times they had together. When they were younger they would spend the night at each other's homes. They would always be in the same classes. They spent nearly every waking moment in the presence of the other. They were as close as sisters, now all of that has changed by just three simple words: I love you. How is that possible? How can three simple words alter such a strong relationship of friends. What would become of them now?
Then, two years ago, Haruka started becoming distant. She kept herself in the house more. She always said that she was sick so she wouldn't have to go out somewhere. The few times that Michiru was able to get her out, she noticed that she paid special attention to keeping her jacket sleeves at her wrist. She made the mistake of not pushing it. Of not finding out what was wrong. And now, after seeing the condition of her arms, she thought that it was possibly too late to get Haruka any help.
Now, now it was too late. It seemed as if Haruka was beyond her own self control, beyond any form of help. Perhaps she wasn't, if Haruka wanted the help, it would take effect. If she was getting it just because of Michiru, it wouldn't work.
"Michiru...Hey, are you ok?" she heard Haruka's voise and felt her shoulders being shaken. "I'm sorry, I said to much in the letter. Come on, lets go up to guidence. You've got to calm down." she helped her into a standing position and lead her down the hallway with a comforting arm around her shoulder.
"Will you talk to him about your cutting?" she asked and waited for a responce.
Chapter 2 - Her Problem
"Promise me Michiru!!" Haruka's voice was more stern, and a bit louder this time.
Michiru looked down at the ground, unable to force herself to look at her best friend. "I promise." she would have done or said anything to stay one of this girl's only friends. She needed her, she felt that she was the only one that she could
be herself with. "The bell's about to ring in a few minutes, why don't we go ahead and leave?" shock of the sights on her arms was still registering in her mind. She was afraid that her friend would do something to seriously hurt herself, or possibly worse...
The rest of the day, thoughts of Haruka's arms, the pain that she must have been feeling, it was eating away at Michiru. She wanted to scream out that she loved Haruka. That Haruka was her best friend. That she cared about Haruka. That she didn't want anything to happen to Haruka. Yet, she stayed quiet. She didn't want to lose her friendship with her. To Michiru, friendship was more important than anything in the world. And without Haruka's friendship she wouldn't know what she would do.
"Michiru." she heard her name whispered from behind her.
She looked up to make sure the teacher was facing the board before she turned around.
"It's from Haruka." the famale student behind her handed her a note.
"Thanks." she took the note and quickly turned around in her seat before she was yelled at by her cranky teacher. Hiding the letter under the desk, she slowly unfolded it, trying not to make too much noise.
Michiru,
Let me explain. Well, I can't really explain why I cut. But I do. I make at least one cut a night. If I get yelled at by my dad, it's sometimes two or three, four of five cuts. The most I've made at one time was 15. They were all small and deep. I make them all small, that way they can be easily hidden.
You see, my feelings are messed up. I'm just so confused. I don't care how much suffering I cause everyone, as long as I satisfy myself, and ease my own pain and release anguish. Now that you know, I don't care how much suffering I cause to you.
As you and the rest of this god forsaken school know, I'm a lesbian. I just wanted you to know that...I love you. And I know that it is beyond hope to even imagine you feeling the same for me, but I just had to let you know, I couldn't keep it inside any longer
Haruka
Michiru folded the letter in half and ran out of the room, silent tears streaming down her face. Those who had passed the letter from one side of the room to the other looked at Haruka.
"Dammit." she mumbled to herself, loud enough for some to hear. Heads snapped to look at the angry girl as she stood from her seat at the back table and followed Michiru's lead, ignoring the teacher's question, and glares from other students.
Memories flooded into Michiru's head as she slid down to the floor against one of the lockers, crying. Crying over what the letter said. Crying over the fact that Haruka didn't care. And crying because Haruka loved her. Haruka was so confusing. But she still didn't understand her feelings for Haruka so she cryed because Haruka loved her and she didn't know what to make of it.
She was remembering all the good times they had together. When they were younger they would spend the night at each other's homes. They would always be in the same classes. They spent nearly every waking moment in the presence of the other. They were as close as sisters, now all of that has changed by just three simple words: I love you. How is that possible? How can three simple words alter such a strong relationship of friends. What would become of them now?
Then, two years ago, Haruka started becoming distant. She kept herself in the house more. She always said that she was sick so she wouldn't have to go out somewhere. The few times that Michiru was able to get her out, she noticed that she paid special attention to keeping her jacket sleeves at her wrist. She made the mistake of not pushing it. Of not finding out what was wrong. And now, after seeing the condition of her arms, she thought that it was possibly too late to get Haruka any help.
Now, now it was too late. It seemed as if Haruka was beyond her own self control, beyond any form of help. Perhaps she wasn't, if Haruka wanted the help, it would take effect. If she was getting it just because of Michiru, it wouldn't work.
"Michiru...Hey, are you ok?" she heard Haruka's voise and felt her shoulders being shaken. "I'm sorry, I said to much in the letter. Come on, lets go up to guidence. You've got to calm down." she helped her into a standing position and lead her down the hallway with a comforting arm around her shoulder.
"Will you talk to him about your cutting?" she asked and waited for a responce.