Chapter 4 - A Crack in the Glacier

Later, I was only able to recollect most of it in segments, the impressions of events rather than the details. Rogue's hand on my shoulder waking me, her entire body electric with excitement, the power off, the glow of emergency lights and a scuffle of tense voices at the end of the hall. The flood of joy at the single, blessed 'Abracadabra.' I remember clapping my helmet on and charging headfirst into a wall of very frightened Weapon X flunkies, tasting for the first time the satisfaction of having the upper hand. My feet were still cold, but I no longer cared.

I was sitting in the rear of some aircraft of the Brotherhood's, smushed into a seat that wasn't anywhere near sturdy enough to support my bulk. Rogue sat nearby. Part of me found it odd that she stayed so close; with just the aisle between us it really didn't feel too different from our cell. It was kinda comforting, actually. Arguing voices floated back to us from the cockpit, a melange of accents out of which I was unable to distinguish a single coherent word. Except for Mastermind, who was napping 5 rows ahead, and the Blob, who sat in front of him eating something smelly, all the members of the Brotherhood of Mutants were jammed noisily into the cockpit. Oh, they hadn't ignored us. Wanda started off the trip by making a long speech of welcome that I could tell got on Rogue's nerves but I, for one, appreciated. It was nice to feel wanted, and to have a choice in the matter.

The X-Twits had asked us to join their little happy club of nice-nice mutants, of course, but it was obvious they were halfway scared that we'd say 'yes.' All we could do was laugh in their faces. Rogue wasn't about to hook up with them, and I'm not too fond of them myself. Besides, I could tell she had real sharp feelings of hate for that redhead telepath, and the popsicle-boy didn't exactly improve relations when he encased her hand in ice.

She had a glove off and was sucking the fingers of that hand methodically, prim as you please. I was just concentrating on trying not to stare. She caught my eye and pulled her pinkie out of her mouth with a faint 'pop.'

"They still feel frozen."

"The blue guy said they might feel that way for a while, didn't he?"

"Yeah." She grimaced, staring ruefully at her hand. "Ice-boy got me back good for that trick I pulled when I stole the redhead's powers."

"They don't exactly live up to their own standards, do they."

"Hypocrites." Her voice was rough but her eyes twinkled. She shoved an index finger between her lips. "Sowaya pinka dawadewood?"

I blinked. "Oh… um… them? Uh… well. At least they busted us out of that fuckin' place." I glanced around nervously and lowered my voice, leaning over the aisle. "I just want to see how closely they hold to Magneto's ideals without going over the deep end. That Wanda chick seems to be trying, but if you ask me she's a little… er… disturbed."

I don't know how she did it, what with a mouthful of digits and all, but Rogue smirked. It was getting really hard not to stare at her mouth so I sat back in my seat and pretended to be interested in something else, looking anywhere but at her. It was damn difficult. After what seemed like an endless silent torture, broken only by Mastermind's snores, Rogue's wet breathing, and the occasional grunt of satisfaction from the Blob, she spoke as if our conversation had never paused.

"Yeah, I get that too."

It took me a second to process what she was saying but when it sunk in I was just a little stunned. "I don't think of you that way, Roguey," I said quietly.

She smiled slightly as she drew on her gloves. "Liar," she murmured lightly, raising her eyes to meet mine. She regarded my openmouthed expression evenly for a moment. "You know very well I'm not exactly stable."

"But… but..!" I was floundering, and I knew it. I honestly didn't know what to say to the girl, especially since I felt like she was pinning me to the bulkhead with those impossibly green eyes of hers. "But Rogue….!"

"Relax Cain." She stretched a long leg across the aisle and rested a foot on the arm of the seat in front of me. "I'm not going to chew you a new one just because you happen to side with the majority on the question of my sanity. Besides," her lips widened into a rare grin, "we ex-Weapon X types have gotta stick together."

My chest suddenly felt very tight. "What do you mean?"

She raised an eyebrow my direction. "Y'know. If the shit hits the fan again here with the Brotherhood and such…" she fiddled nervously with the fingers of her gloves. "I mean, who else are you gonna trust?"

I felt like she'd hit me dead center with a wrecking ball. She was right of course. She was right, and I felt both relieved and resentful. Truth was I liked Rogue, despite her freakish ways and frequent open hostility; the thought of going our separate ways wasn't a pleasant one. Still, it just wasn't right that she could read me the way she did. I wasn't one of her damn books. Her being able to slip her mind between the layers of my personality like one of her fancy-ass tasseled bookmarks was unnerving. I glared at her.

"What?!" Her fingers plucked fretfully at the fabric of her glove. "What is it?"

"I just hate when you do that, Rogue," I grumbled. "Is saying what's on my mind even before I know what I'm thinking part of your mutation or something?!"

"So you're with me on this?" She sounded vaguely anxious.

I hesitated, but not very long. "Yeah. I guess so." For some reason my nerves were all jumpy. "But I doubt we'll have to skip out. Loopy as Wanda may be, the Brotherhood is probably our best chance right now."

Her entire body settled, as if a clenched fist inside her ribcage had slowly opened. "I know." Her lips curved slowly into a small smile, the softest expression I'd ever seen on her face. "Still. It's nice to know I don't have to be completely alone."

I knew she was just covering all her bases; maintaining my loyalty was a survival tactic, plain and simple. But she looked so pale and tiny in that seat, so completely breakable that for a minute there it didn't matter to me that we were really negotiating on how best to use each other. I could pretend with her for a while that our decision was genuine, based on honesty, trust, and the true secret desire for the loyal companionship of a friend. Maybe in a nicer world it would have been. I know I, at least, would have liked it to have been true.

I leaned back against the bulkhead and gently settled one of my feet into her lap. "In the meantime, Rogueness, why don't you chafe my toes for a bit." The look she sent me was so relieved, so damn near grateful that I didn't have the heart to tell her that, for perhaps the first time in months, my feet were already warm.

~ fin