Look a Little Deeper

Chapter One

By: Sorano

Disclaimer- You know how it works. CCS isn't mine (though you have no much I wish it were!)

My parents and their friends are drunk- it's disgusting. I am downstairs (they are so loud! And what dirty language they are using!) so I thought I would donate a story to you all so that I can lock myself away. Please save me, minna!

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"Tomoyo-chan!"

A small girl was sitting at the pond's edge, letting her graceful, pale fingers trail through the icy water. She was so engrossed with her own somber reflection that she did not hear her name being called. Her stony gaze drifted across the rippling dark waters and took in the bruised sun that was heading to bed in the silent forest. The air was piney and sweet but the air was quickly growing cool. Rubbing her bare arms did not halt the goosebumps that were sure coming.

"Tomoyo-chan!" The sweet, girlish voice called again, this time much closer.

It was the clumsy footsteps that caused the girl to eventually turn around to view that which was disturbing the quiet of dusk. At whirlwind speed a blur of colors raced down the emerald grassy hill towards her. A gentle smile alit the girl's face when she realized who it was and she gave a small wave.

Sakura Kinomoto, a cheerful fawn-like girl finally caught up to her friend. This was an odd concept because it was she who was moving and not Tomoyo. It just happened to feel to her like the harder she pushed her feet the farther away Tomoyo seemed to drift.

Sakura slidded to ground only inches from the murky depths although it was more likely her energy would have carried her over and beyond. Yes, her friends would always remember that about her. Sakura ran like the wind.

The girl sitting by the lake, Tomoyo, pulled her legs up to her chest, spreading her navy blue kimono around her like a small pool of water. She gazed awkwardly at Sakura and bit her lip before regrettable words could spill out.

Sakura's bright eyes were focused on everything and anything but the fair girl before her. Neither of them knew how to approach this situation. "Tomoyo-chan…Listen to me Tomoyo-chan, I… Ano, you know me. I would never hurt you. I really am sorry. Look, don't be mad. It was an accident…Iie, I'm sorry. It wasn't. Ara, you-"

Tomoyo's dark glare cut her off, pools of blue seemingly void of emotion. She wanted to yell and stomp her feet and tell Sakura that it wasn't an accident. She wanted Sakura to admit she had been part of a cruel joke… Sakura had a part in it. But Sakura looked so earnest sitting there, like a puppy that had been whipped for cookies the little child ate.

Tomoyo's long fingers began to tremble as they reached forward and clasped the folds of her friend's pink kimono. "I…I understand, Sakura-chan. We are friends, ne?"

"Of course!" Sakura's grin widened, she knew she could count on her friend not to mope for long. "Look, I'll swear it, because I mean it forever!" She held out a tiny brown finger, waiting for Tomoyo to join it.

Tomoyo had to tell herself over and over again that Sakura loved her and was a good girl before she could extend her own pink and join it with her friend's.

If Sakura had noticed Tomoyo's hesitation she did not let on but she was very careful not to pull very had when she twisted their bond around. "It won't happen again, Tomoyo-chan. And I won't talk to Yamazaki-kun for a whole week!" She flung her arms out dramatically as if to demonstrate just how upset she was.

There was quiet between the two girls for a couple minutes then- an agonizing loneliness that had never existed between the two before. Sakura shivered in the ever-growing dark and peered around anxiously, eager to be away for obviously more than one uncomfortable reason.

"Tomoyo-chan…" she whispered heavily into the thick summer air. "It's kind of scary out here, don't you think? Hiirigaziwa-kun once told me about the warui-onna that used to live here a hundred years ago." Her voice shook and she moved closer to Tomoyo. "Warui-onna used to invite children into her home then murder them in horrible, inhumane ways. Her ghost haunts the lake now, ara, take your hand out! And the forest is filled with the ghosts of her victims."

"That silly, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo replied quietly, though she would admit the woods were horribly unsettling. It was around this area she had indeed seen one of Sakura's 'ghosts' a couple years ago. No, Tomoyo! That was not a ghost! Sakura is merely getting carried away again.

"Aren't you getting cold, Tomoyo-chan? Your kimono is made of such a fine silk that I would expect the breezes from the pond to bite into you."

"It's a warm night, Sakura-chan. Shhh, if you listen you could hear the crickets singing. It's really nice. Don't talk now!"

Sakura did try to listen for a few minutes but her ears were clogged up from the merry music in the city and she couldn't sit still long enough. "Gomen, Tomoyo-chan." She rubbed her ears slightly annoyed. "I don't have as good of ears as you."

"I think you have wonderful ears, Sakura-chan. You just don't listen hard enough."

Sakura stood up and grasped Tomoyo's hand. "Please come back to the festival now, Tomoyo-chan. Everyone is really worried when you just ran off like that. You should've seen Syaoran-kun! He was so mad! He swore would kill that group if they ever tried to hurt you again! He's already off searching for them so he can break their kneecaps!"

Sakura tried to sound angry but it wasn't difficult to see the pride shining through her voice. Tomoyo had been eager originally for Syaoran to admit his feelings for Sakura but now she was beginning to regret it. Her life had been so lonely and backward since the Chinese boy entered their lives, left, then reentered. It was hard to hold onto Sakura. So hard to hold on…

Tomoyo pulled away from Sakura as they began to walk up the small hill, turning in the other direction towards suburbia. It was hard for her to resist the slight tugging on her sleeves.

"Tomoyo-chan? Daijoubu? Aren't you coming with me?"

"Iie, gomen nasai. I am tired, Sakura-chan so I'm going home. My head really hurts," she mumbled. The splitting pain in her head had been on and off since third period early that day. Sonomi had wanted to keep her home, but Tomoyo had then been under the impression this was not a festival to be missed. The ache was back worse than ever now and all Tomoyo wanted to do was to head home.

Sakura looked worried, her jade-stone eyes filled with uncertainty. She really wanted to go back and join her friends, but she couldn't just leave Tomoyo. Her friend really wasn't very well off that night, which would explain why she had taken the whole thing at the festival dance so personally. Tomoyo wouldn't normally have gotten so angry. Not her gently, mild-tempered Tomoyo.

No, it must have been the fact that Tomoyo was sick that caused her to blow up like she did, pushing Kierokei-kun into the dunking both and ripping up the ribbon. Sakura had known all along there must have been some logical explanation for Tomoyo's behavior. She couldn't just accept an overnight personality change. Tomoyo wasn't the type to do such a complete 180 like that. She smiled now; knowing it would be easier to put the whole night in the past.

"Ara, I'll walk you home, Tomoyo-chan."

"You don't have to do that. Honto, Sakura-chan. I'm fine. I really can make it home by myself."

"Are you sure?"

No. "Hai. Go back to the party. Win me something."

"Of course, Tomoyo-chan! If you're sure you'll be alright..." she still looked a little uncertain. "I will send Kero-chan over to visit you, okay? And I'll see you tomorrow, at school?"

"Hai. If you don't hurry then you will miss the fireworks."

Sakura's face froze and she gave a frantic glance to her watch, the one Yukito had given her so many years ago and was miraculously still functioning to this day. "Hoe! You're right! Ja! Ja! Ja!" Sakura waved her arm continually back at her friend before she ran out of sight. Tomoyo could only imagine how difficult it must have been for Sakura to do all that running in her formal sandals.

"Konbanwa, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said listlessly into the air before turning around and heading down the stone walkway that led to her home.

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"What do you mean you're not going to school?" Sonomi Daidouji demanded crossly, standing inches away from her daughter's luxurious bed.

"I mean just what I said, Okasan. I don't feel well so I'm staying home today. My head hurts really bad."

"This doesn't have anything to do with that little ruckus at the shichinichi festival does it? Because you know that the whole school will have for-"

"Iie, okaasan. Please, I just want to sleep." And maybe never wake.

"Look Tomoyo-chan, I don't have time for this. I have a meeting in twenty minutes and if-"

"Then go to your meeting, you don't need to stay home and baby-sit me. I am capable of taking care of myself."

Though Sonomi looked doubtful, it was evident she didn't want her daughter becoming deathly ill by enduring a day of school. Tomoyo did look awfully pale, though she didn't even have a fever. In the end she gave in and with a quick kiss told her daughter she would see her that night. It wasn't long before Tomoyo was alone in the house, feeling more blah and frightened than ever before.

Tomoyo sat up stiff and bone-tired in her poster bed, rubbing her dark eyes roughly. There seemed to be a bit of grit in them that just wouldn't come out. She found the wooden floorboards icy cold and quickly reached for her slippers. But where were they? There was a scratching sound between her temples and her eyes were squinted, unable to focus.

She knelt down and groped with her hand until she came into contact with fuzzy, warmness. The fuzzy blue was reassuring, despite it's blurred appearance and after being slipped on her feet, Tomoyo righted herself.

"What's wrong with me? I didn't feel this bad yesterday," Tomoyo mumbled to herself, holding both hands out in front of her for fear she would fall flat on her face. The world seemed to be tilting itself all around and Tomoyo had no doubt she would be upside-down in a matter of minutes.

The young girl shuffled down the hall until she found the toilet. She climbed up onto the marble counter and opened the latch to the sickly yellow medicine cabinet. The inside shelves were stocked with tiny white and brown bottles in nice tidy little rows. Many of them were empty. Sonomi kept her drugs for sleeping and such in her own ensuite, but this room held some sort of backup supply.

The pounding in her head increased with every bottle she tossed down to the floor. She was having an amazingly difficult time finding a simple container of children's Aspirin® and was becoming desperate enough to down a whole bottle of her mother's Prozac. It was only that the label printing was so incredibly tiny! The letters moved back and forth in front of Tomoyo's wary gaze, kashaing as if to mock her.

"Please," she whispered, her shaky breath coming out in a high hiss. Her hands fumbled with the safety lock on the Tylenol® cap, her mumbled brain would not allow her to remember how to open it. Her rounded nails dug into the plastic and didn't release their old until nearly five minutes later. By that time Tomoyo was weeping.

The room was getting darker, instead of brighter with the sun. The cap snapped off the bottle and flew through the misty air, landing on the blue-tiled floor with an obnoxious clang.

Tomoyo was able to keep her wits about her, and therefore only popped the maximum amount of pills in her mouth. She stuck her mouth under the tap and instinctively gulped water in to wash away the bitter nausea.

She went downstairs, the drilling in her head fading slightly to the kitchen. She poured herself a small bowl of Cornflakes® but she had no appetite. The food lay untouched on the kitchen island when she went into the study, foolishly believing she could catch up some of her homework. It was the mature thing to do; make some use of her day off instead of just lounging about.

As Tomoyo pulled out her math textbook she wondered glumly what was happening at Tomoeda elementary that moment. Probably recess. It was only a fleeting moment that Tomoyo wished she were playing with her friends, but she remembered with a wave of sadness that they didn't seem to be doing much playing anymore.

Tomoyo would be rehearsing indoors for the Natsu Concert with Minkyo-Sensei at the particular time. She really did need the practice lately. It was the first time a teacher had ever critised her for her music, but it seemed to be all she heard lately. She continually played the wrong note, sending a shrieking chorus of saws through the school. It couldn't be helped. The notes kept jumping around on her, a G sharp appearing as an F flat.

Homework...that's right. Best get back… maybe I need glasses! Tomoyo thought with a horrible shock, for this idea had been slow in coming to her. "My eyes do seem to be bothering me a lot lately." Tomoyo suddenly felt a lot better knowing the probable cause for her ailment and made a mental post-it note to ask her mother for an eye exam.

She added sums together for about two hours before her eyes were screaming for a break. Watering and even bleeding in some spots, Tomoyo's eyes were useless to her. Somehow numbers caused her less grief than letters, though she did not have any idea why. It was the first time in her life she found math easier than her Japanese writings.

Tomoyo stretched out on the plush leopard-skin sofa in the bright, open sunroom. With a wet cloth over her worn eyes Tomoyo drifted into an uneasy sleep. She awoke in darkness. Complete, utter nothingness.

At first Tomoyo was calm and assumed she must have slept long into the night. She stumbled around in the dark until her hands felt the hard lightswitch. As you can imagine, no change occurred and it was only then that real fear began to overcome her. It was not night; Tomoyo could hear birds and not crickets. No, it was black in the middle of the day.

She screamed. A terrible, anguished cry of a wounded animal or a terrified child in this case. In all her eleven years of being, Tomoyo had stored up a lot of raw emotion that was now manifesting itself in her predicament. She would not sit and be quiet and calm when her sight had been taken away from her. Incapable of rational thought, she threw herself down on the wooden floors and kicked.

Her hand came in contact with an old wicker chair- her Obaasan's- and she gripped it tight in her sweaty hands. Screeching and wailing she rammed it against every solid object she could find, shattering glass, knocking over flowerpots. "I'm not alone! I'm not alone! I'm not alone! It's not real…It's not real…"

She swung the old chair in the thin air one time and it's force, hitting nothing, caused her to slip and fall along with it. She tripped over the long legs and felt herself tumble down the wooden steps onto the cool grass.

Tears flooded her eyes and she sat alone against the side of the house for quite some time, lip bleeding and a big bruise on her crown. Even worse than the aching pain streaming through her body was the terrible incomprehensible isolation and helplessness.

She rocked back and forth there with arms hugging her legs for hours, repeating her sad mantra. "It's not real…It's not real…It's not real…Ara, please God, tell me it isn't real."

"Tomoyo-chan! What are you doing?" a shrill voice demanded. "Why are you crying? What happened?"

Okaasan…Tomoyo's mother could surely make things all right. She would fix this and Tomoyo would be fine… "Okaasan," Tomoyo's voice was hoarse from screaming. Footsteps thudded along the wooden porch, anxious clicking of hard-soled high-heels.

Tomoyo shivered and thrust her hands out in front of her. "Stop! Help me! Okaasan!" Her hands clutched at the air, reaching out for a familiar touch. She could feel the presence of another body next to her, but she could not see her mother's face. Couldn't see… Desperate and afraid, Tomoyo clawed at the air. "Where are you? Okaasan, Okaasan! Where are you? I can't see you, Okaasan!" Her musical, sweet voice, now filled with pain, echoed long into the night.

Tomoyo felt herself being propelled forward into her mother's arms where she was held tight. "Tomoyo-chan, Tomoyo-chan…Calm down." She had never heard such panic in her mother's voice before. "What happened to you, Tomoyo-chan? Shh, shh. I've got you."

"I can't see!" Tomoyo wailed and pressed her face into her mother's blouse, staining it with tears. "I'm blind!!! Okaasan, make it go away! Make it stop! Make it stop! I want to see! I can't see you! My eyes, Okaasan! There's something wrong with my eyes!"

Imagine the horror Sonomi must have felt this, to see her child in this state. She gently lifted her daughter's head up and searched into her deep purple eyes for a sign. There was no light in Tomoyo's eyes; no reflection and the pupil seemed to have all but disintegrated. Her child's eyes were vacant and unseeing. "Ara, God. Tomoyo…"

Tomoyo clutched her mother's neck tightly as she was swung up into the air, feeling as vulnerable as a baby. Even when her mother set her down in the backseat of their shiny, black car Tomoyo refused to let go of her mother's grip. Sonomi sat beside Tomoyo and ordered one of her guards to drive them to the hospital, because it was obvious her daughter was in a very serious condition.

Tomoyo could hear voices and sounds coming from far off, a touches brushing against clammy skin. Paranoia overtook the little girl and she screamed at every little thing. The world seemed so different and unnatural now, even her own familiar car. She desperately longed to be able to see and therefore have control over herself again. She wept the whole way to the hospital ER, trying streaming down pale cheeks from empty, innocent eyes.

A sort of different work from me, ne minna? I promise the next chapter will be more interesting, I just had to get things started. Please keep in mind I wrote this at midnight! And the characters won't be so out of character for long, ok? Keep reading the next chapter for some wonderful Eriol! Ja! –Sora P.S- Leave me a review and tell me what you thought!

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