Characters not mine. Are JKR's. OK? :D
And thanks to Bally for helping with a particularly dodgy simile, and laughing enough to keep me writing!! xx
- I Discovered Alcohol -
Snape sat in the corner trying not to enjoy the sight of 13 women in figure-enhancing outfits all talking about the fabulous shape of his nose. His hand stroked it self-consciously. The Snape Sisters had fairly rapidly realised that this man was not going to be very friendly and had decided to use reverse psychology on him. I.e. they were ignoring him. He, for one, was incredibly thankful for the fact. The calculation for points off Gryffindor was already in the thousands. By his workings they would end this year, and many to come, in the minus bracket.
Airin sat pondering over what would bring their Master out of his self-imposed exile to the dankest corner of her enhanced room. Everyone loved him for the very personality he was displaying, but the muttering was becoming distracting. There was only so many times they could hear "10 more points off now, and 600 detentions" before exasperation set in.
Another idea formed in Airin's head. The brain cells laboured under all the new activity. It wasn't used to this much business, having planned to use the afternoon for a rousing round of golf with the lymphatic system. It would have to forfeit now. Airin stood up and waved her wand again.
"Uoynommus Isuiris!" "Uoynommus Isumer!" She shouted, one after the other. The air moved again to accommodate two new figures. It sighed. She'd get fed up of it soon. Always did with these new fangled ideas.
Sirius Black and Remus Lupin stared warily around the room. They both held pint glasses in their hands and Sirius raised his to his nose and sniffed at it suspiciously. Remus spotted Snape sitting in the corner staring at the newcomers as though they were the vile slime just crawled out of a swamp. Sirius caught his line of sight and followed it. He grinned and held his glass up in a silent toast, knocked back the last of the drink, and picked up a fresh one from the pile. He seemed to be handling the change in location with surprising ease. One place with alcohol and Remus, to another place with alcohol, Remus, Snape and 13 women. Where was the problem?
HRB took his arm and led him to sit down. She then sat on his lap. Remus rolled his eyes before noticing that a younger looking girl (did someone say Ivy?) was eyeing him like a hungry tiger eyeing a rump steak. He edged away in Snape's direction, trying to be discrete. Snape snorted and turned his back on everyone. It was bad enough when it was just him, but these... these... men as well? He did not have a high opinion of these women. Inviting Black and Lupin. He sulked. 'What's wrong with just me?'
Airin brought a drink over to Snape and sat it in front of him, smiling.
"I don't want it." He was thirsty, but he didn't need such frivolities as a drink. Especially not a drink given to him by this strange green-flashing witch. Airin left it there anyway and turned to make Remus sit down. He was still a little wary of the hungry looks he was getting from the women, but Sirius' easy acceptance was encouraging and he picked up a drink.
"So." He began as he sat on the edge of one of the idiotically green sofas. "Who are you? What are we doing here?" Sirius looked up from flirting with the nearest girls to him, HRB, Gryff and Bally (who had almost thrown Lily out of her way to sit next to the man.). He was mildly interested in what the answers were, but was definitely not bothered about the change in location. Not at all. Nope.
Airin explained the situation, skirting around the whole "you don't actually exist except in books" bit. She didn't think the already tense Snape could take it. Sirius on the other hand was almost as inebriated as the now tipsy Sisters. He suddenly jumped to his feet, (a shocked HRB falling to the floor in an entirely non-elegant way) and leapt upon the coffee table. Beer in hand he burst into a Bare Naked Ladies song, strange backing music seeming to emanate from nowhere.
"Alcohol, my permanent accessory,
Alcohol, a part-time necessity,
Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself,
Oh Alcohol, I still drink to your health."
At this point Remus, possessed of some musical-enforced necessity, jumped up on the table and began to grind along to the music next to Sirius. The Snape Sister began to dance around the table. Even Snape tried to stop his foot from tapping along by glaring at it.
"I........love you more,
than I did the week before,
I discovered alcohol!"
Snape's foot was out of control. The Laws of Musical Interaction were universal. Once someone begins to sing, with music coming from nowhere, everyone has to back-up dance. Snape's self control was proving to be a match, but in his annoyance with his rebellious foot he picked up and knocked back the drink Airin had provided. The almost pure alcohol in the heavily spiked drink hit Snape's bloodstream like a frat boy hitting a girls dorm, stripping off the last of his control. As Sirius jived into the next verse of the song, Snape joined the Snape Sisters in their synchronised dance, his face blacker than a black cat on a black car on a starless night.
"I thought that alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do,
I though that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze,
But now I find that there's a time and there's a place where I can chose,
To walk the fine line between self-control, and self-abuse."
As the song ended, the last act performed synchronously was to throw back a shot of tequila. 'Oh God. It's all over.' The thought shot through Snape's mind. 'Over.'
And thanks to Bally for helping with a particularly dodgy simile, and laughing enough to keep me writing!! xx
- I Discovered Alcohol -
Snape sat in the corner trying not to enjoy the sight of 13 women in figure-enhancing outfits all talking about the fabulous shape of his nose. His hand stroked it self-consciously. The Snape Sisters had fairly rapidly realised that this man was not going to be very friendly and had decided to use reverse psychology on him. I.e. they were ignoring him. He, for one, was incredibly thankful for the fact. The calculation for points off Gryffindor was already in the thousands. By his workings they would end this year, and many to come, in the minus bracket.
Airin sat pondering over what would bring their Master out of his self-imposed exile to the dankest corner of her enhanced room. Everyone loved him for the very personality he was displaying, but the muttering was becoming distracting. There was only so many times they could hear "10 more points off now, and 600 detentions" before exasperation set in.
Another idea formed in Airin's head. The brain cells laboured under all the new activity. It wasn't used to this much business, having planned to use the afternoon for a rousing round of golf with the lymphatic system. It would have to forfeit now. Airin stood up and waved her wand again.
"Uoynommus Isuiris!" "Uoynommus Isumer!" She shouted, one after the other. The air moved again to accommodate two new figures. It sighed. She'd get fed up of it soon. Always did with these new fangled ideas.
Sirius Black and Remus Lupin stared warily around the room. They both held pint glasses in their hands and Sirius raised his to his nose and sniffed at it suspiciously. Remus spotted Snape sitting in the corner staring at the newcomers as though they were the vile slime just crawled out of a swamp. Sirius caught his line of sight and followed it. He grinned and held his glass up in a silent toast, knocked back the last of the drink, and picked up a fresh one from the pile. He seemed to be handling the change in location with surprising ease. One place with alcohol and Remus, to another place with alcohol, Remus, Snape and 13 women. Where was the problem?
HRB took his arm and led him to sit down. She then sat on his lap. Remus rolled his eyes before noticing that a younger looking girl (did someone say Ivy?) was eyeing him like a hungry tiger eyeing a rump steak. He edged away in Snape's direction, trying to be discrete. Snape snorted and turned his back on everyone. It was bad enough when it was just him, but these... these... men as well? He did not have a high opinion of these women. Inviting Black and Lupin. He sulked. 'What's wrong with just me?'
Airin brought a drink over to Snape and sat it in front of him, smiling.
"I don't want it." He was thirsty, but he didn't need such frivolities as a drink. Especially not a drink given to him by this strange green-flashing witch. Airin left it there anyway and turned to make Remus sit down. He was still a little wary of the hungry looks he was getting from the women, but Sirius' easy acceptance was encouraging and he picked up a drink.
"So." He began as he sat on the edge of one of the idiotically green sofas. "Who are you? What are we doing here?" Sirius looked up from flirting with the nearest girls to him, HRB, Gryff and Bally (who had almost thrown Lily out of her way to sit next to the man.). He was mildly interested in what the answers were, but was definitely not bothered about the change in location. Not at all. Nope.
Airin explained the situation, skirting around the whole "you don't actually exist except in books" bit. She didn't think the already tense Snape could take it. Sirius on the other hand was almost as inebriated as the now tipsy Sisters. He suddenly jumped to his feet, (a shocked HRB falling to the floor in an entirely non-elegant way) and leapt upon the coffee table. Beer in hand he burst into a Bare Naked Ladies song, strange backing music seeming to emanate from nowhere.
"Alcohol, my permanent accessory,
Alcohol, a part-time necessity,
Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself,
Oh Alcohol, I still drink to your health."
At this point Remus, possessed of some musical-enforced necessity, jumped up on the table and began to grind along to the music next to Sirius. The Snape Sister began to dance around the table. Even Snape tried to stop his foot from tapping along by glaring at it.
"I........love you more,
than I did the week before,
I discovered alcohol!"
Snape's foot was out of control. The Laws of Musical Interaction were universal. Once someone begins to sing, with music coming from nowhere, everyone has to back-up dance. Snape's self control was proving to be a match, but in his annoyance with his rebellious foot he picked up and knocked back the drink Airin had provided. The almost pure alcohol in the heavily spiked drink hit Snape's bloodstream like a frat boy hitting a girls dorm, stripping off the last of his control. As Sirius jived into the next verse of the song, Snape joined the Snape Sisters in their synchronised dance, his face blacker than a black cat on a black car on a starless night.
"I thought that alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do,
I though that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze,
But now I find that there's a time and there's a place where I can chose,
To walk the fine line between self-control, and self-abuse."
As the song ended, the last act performed synchronously was to throw back a shot of tequila. 'Oh God. It's all over.' The thought shot through Snape's mind. 'Over.'